Seeking Advise for 3 1/2 Year Old Speech Delay

Updated on September 03, 2009
J.C. asks from Santa Rita, GU
15 answers

I have a 3 1/2 year grand daughter who is still not talking clearly. She can say 1-2 sometimes 3 words on her own. But not a sentence. I feel so bad that she tries so hard to communicate with us. She still babbles like a toddler just learning how to speak. I feel that she should be talking in sentences by now. She will be 4 in January and we tried everything since she was 2, like early intervention, speech therapist, hearing test, and group activities with other children. We still have her in pre-school with kids with special needs. She learns great and interact well in class. We do everything to encourage her by reading, talking, singing and others. I just don't know what is taking so long for my girl to talk. Please help.

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

my sister didn't talk until she was almost 6 years old. she spoke words, but very minimal conversations...(but up until age 4, she said nothing..and my parents used to think (even joked) that she was mute. maybe it's the traditional Asian parents way of parenting - where they don't overly worry about every little thing (that sometime is good and bad). But they just copped it out to her being very shy etc.

Well, now she's 31 and her nickname is motor-mouth because she literally talks a mile a minute. In school, she would get notes home saying that she talked too much and needed to focus on her tasks.

Now she's a Business Consultant for Chase bank..a SALES job that she is one of the TOP seller, always producing above quota (100+%)

you never know, right?

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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi there,
I used to work with Early Intervention for 10 years. Sounds like you guys are doing quite a bit for her. Is speech her only delay? If so, perhaps she would benefit from a typical pre-school class, so she has typically developing peers with age appropriate speech models. Don't get rid of the current pre-school, but maybe add a day or 2 of regular ed. pre-school. Also, be sure you all are not anticipating her needs at home, and provide her every opportunity to use her own words or word approximations.

Best wishes to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear J.,

Einstein began babbling at age three but he was still not speaking in sentences until after he turned nine. Perhaps this book: "The Einstein Syndrome: Bright Children Who Talk Late" by Thomas Sowell will be of interest to you.

My personal opinion is that mega-intervention (while it makes you feel better to be "doing something" about the "problem") can sometimes be cruel to the person who just happens to be a little different.

It is obvious that you love your grand-daughter very much --I am sure that she knows it too. Read to her, talk to her, but maybe cut the sweet tiny girl a little slack.

Best wishes,

Annette

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Since she is having speech problems, may I suggest that you try two other approaches so that she can at least clearly communicate with you. One is to teach her sign language. The other is to try the "Baby Can Read Program" and get her to read and write as soon as possible. If you give her a means of communication, this will make her feel more in control. May I also suggest a consultation with a NEUROLOGIST to do an MRI to see if the speech centers of her brain are normal. If no apparent reason can be found for the speech delay, the most likely conclusion is the wiring of the brain. Children are young and there brains are able to compensate for miswiring with early intervention. Good luck. My son did not talk until after age four. Diagnosis and treatment are frustrating. You must be your child's advocate. Don't trust the school district. Also, you might try a neuropsychologist who specializes in learning problems as they have tests that can determine some neurological problems without doing invasive testing.

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G.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter (who also will be 4 in January) has been going to speech therapy for over half a year for exactly the same reasons as your grand daughter. She is just not talking clearly and has a very difficult time making sentences.
After a few sessions of speech therapy we started to se that her vocabulary got better but she still was "babbling" more than saying full sentences.
Lately our speech therapist is suspecting she could have APD (Auditory Processing Disorder). It's hard for us to check on such young child but the more I read about it online it seems like that could be what my daughter suffers from.
If I understand it right it's not per say a hearing problem, but a way that our brains process sounds. She will have problem to register what sound around her is the important one. With many people talking at the same time she easily loses focus, and the same thing with long sentences, the important information gets lost and therefor she ends up repeating simple two (maybe three) word sentences like "I'm cat" "Cereal good" etc etc.
We're trying to work around 10-20 minutes a day with a computer program called Earobics and it seems to help.

Please contact me, it would be nice to hear more from a family going through the similar problems

Good Luck

Gabriella

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C.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have no advice but just wanted to tell you you are not alone. I too am a concerned grandma. My grandaughter is 4 (april 28th) & at the age of 3 (October) she was diagnosed with Systemic Onset Juvenille Rheumatoid Arthritis. At the beginning of her disease she was bed ridden, hosptalized, in constant pain, daily fevers & rashes. It took a long time to get the disease to a point where she could even walk just to toilet & even that was painful. Fro 8 months she suffered in various degrees...we were greatful if she had a good day! She was too frustrated to even try to learn. She is now one of 2 children in california (a little over 100 in U.S.) to be puit on a new clinical trial drug. It has been a miracle!!! She acts like a normal child...however, since this all happened when she should have been learning, her speech is soooooo behind. She has a huge vocabuary, knows some spanish, can count backwords & can work a game boy or comp better than I ever could... but like your grandaughter, she cannot form sentences properly. She will be going to speech therapy but I am interested in what a "Speech preschool" is. I am going to look through some of your advice. Where is this place? What is it? Any info you have on it would be appreceated!!! Thanks, C.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't know if it will help, but my son was very similar in that he only said a couple of words until he was a little over 3 - We also had a speech therapy friend who watched him closely and said she would not work with him until 4 - 5 as she had had kids that would start late, just to let him be. Sure enough, all of a sudden a few months later, he began speaking in full sentences almost overnight! He did end up having speech therapy in elementary school but only because he didn't pronounce r and s well. No big deal, very common. Good luck.

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello J.,

I understand your frustration, my son is 41/2 he will be 5 on January and he also doesn't speak full sentences. He is also in special speech pre-K, we just have Faith that one day he is gonna start talking normal. He has inproved alot he makes more sounds now and he also gets frustrated when we don't understand him...just be patient and have Faith.

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

If she's having early intervention and speech therapy, and your family is supplying her with a language-rich life, then you are doing what you can. A handful of history's smartest people were delayed speakers, so that is a possibility. However, with all due respect and without knowing your lovely granddaughter, sometimes children don't learn at the same pace. So you find resources to help wherever possible and continue doing those things you know can help her reach her full potential. It sounds like you're well onto the right path.

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a now 4 1/2 year old who also has a speech delay. We noticed something was wrong around 2-2 1/2 and it sounds like he is on a similar journey as your grand daughter with multiple assessments, speech therapy, and now in a special needs preschool. It sounds to me like you are doing everything the right way and are trying all the avenues you are supposed to. My son has made incredible strides (for him) this past year and while he is not speaking like a typical 4 1/2 year old--he is speaking a lot more than he was before. It may be this next year you see a big change since most likely, it will be her first full year in the preschool setting. One thing we did was to anticipate what he was trying to say which I believe contributed to his delay but didn't cause it. Keep doing what you're doing--again, it sounds like you're doing all the right things for her at the right time. From what I was told, children all have their "own time" to speak and I'm sure it will come especially if you have eliminated all the obvious things like hearing, learning disabilities, etc.), are taking advantage of all the interventions available and exposing her to lots of language. I wish you and her all the best in your continued journey.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,

As frustrating as it may be, waiting and being patient is the best thing you can do. It is GREAT that you have started an early intervention and started speech and preschool. That is the best you can do. My son didn't speak very much and he is 5. Over the last year I have seen him improve tremedously! He still has a way to go, but I have seen such improvement in him, it's just amazing! When he gets frustrated because we don't understand him I talk to him and let him know that I am intrested in what he is telling me, that I just need him to repeat it.

Have you looked into genetic testing? I am still waiting on that. Or have you tried sign language? That can help relieve some frustration.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Does she watch any tv shows? some shows and some dvd's i think are good for speech like the Brainy Baby dvds..my son is 3.5 and i let him play on my computer..i set him up on youtube.com and i find dinosaurs and things he likes and he clicks around..and i'm noticing he's learning a lot from it..next i'll teach him a game on there..you guys have to talk a lot to her but talk like a child..so she can learn to say things like children do and understand better. I always explain everything to my son i even tell him every band name that is playing on the radio and the song titles...try the Brainy Baby dvd's and Bee Smart Baby ..they show things and say what they are.

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

My son was also in Speech preschool two days a week when he was four. The other three he was in regular preschool. In elementary school, he continued his speech therapy until the end of third grade. Now he is in the sixth grade gifted program and you would never know he had an issue.

Your doing everything right. Just be patient and supportive and she'll get to where she is going when she's ready.

Good luck.

C.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi, J....I have a 8 year old son, who also didn't talk at the age of 3. He was placed in special Pre-School classes and we just started from there. Please, do not give up hope, she will learn to talk, but it will take time. Although, it has taken us 5 years to get my son to the point he's at now, he still has some obstacles to overcome, like, his reading. Just give it time and make sure you are getting all the help from the school that you are entitled to. I, at one point had to request more speech time because 30 minutes a week just wasn't cutting it. My son still has speech 3 days a week @ 30 minutes each. I know at times it can be frustrating, but just be patient, Good luck and God bless you.

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Y.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

I'm surprised your speech pathologist has not been able to give you more information on what is going on with your grand-daughter. It must be very frustrating for your familly, especially your little girl! She can understand sooo much...she just has difficulty communicating her thoughts, needs, and wants.

I am a baby sign language instructor, and I strongly recommend you start signing with your grand-daughter if you haven't done so already. There are lots of signing books for kids at the library, and they may even have signing DVDs you can check out. Signing will definitely help relieve stress and frustration that your grand-daughter and family have when it comes to communicating.

I hope everything works out for you and your family soon! :o)

Feel free to contact me if you need any suggestions or have any other questions.

Good luck and all the best,
Y.

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