Seeking Advice with My Co-sleeping 16 Month Old

Updated on May 15, 2009
R.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
5 answers

Smart moms, I need your advice! I have a wonderful and healthy 16 month old boy who nurses and is a co-sleeper. He actually starts the night in his crib, which is in our room, and then usually joins us about halfway through the night. He nurses anywhere from 2-4 times a night. Bedtime is hardly ever an issue. We have our bath/book routine and he seems happy to go to his crib initially. We have never done any form of "cry-it-out", but just bring him to bed with us if he doesn't go back down easily after night-waking. This has not been an issue until recently. I work full-time and actually enjoy the time spent co-sleeping at night because I miss him so much during the day.

But, lately, he has become very restless in bed with us, never sleeping longer than a 2 hour stretch. He kicks me like a pony all night and wakes up cranky, which isn't usual for him. He's been getting molars, but that doesn't always seem related. He's been nursing more frequently and I'm just not getting good rest anymore...and he doesn't seem to be well-rested either.

Is it time to really try to get him to sleep in his crib through the night? He seems genuinely comfortable when I watch him asleep in his crib. We are trying for a second pregnancy too and I don't see myself nursing him that much longer. Everything I read about the weaning process says it should be gradual and that the nighttime feedings are usually the last to go, but does anyone have any other advice? Will it be too much change for him if we have him sleep in his crib and say no to nightime nursing? Or do we just need to take the plunge and change our sleep arrangements?

Thanks for your advice!

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

from 10 months to 12 months my son would wake up around 5:30 to 6:30 in the morning and nurse and snuggle in bed with me then fall asleep until 8 am or so. when he started not sleeping after nursing i simply stopped nursing in the morning and instead tried to get him back to sleep in his crib after a few days of being up at 5:30 for the day he started going back to sleep after the 5:30 wake up and now at 14 months he doesnt even wake until 7:30 (goes to sleep at 6:30 pm) I would say if your son doesnt want to rest well it maybe a sign he needs his own space, and it sounds like his night nursing is for comfort so it isnt neccesary BUT if it is what both you and your child want then continue on. you could try giving him a pacifier at night that is what my son used to get rid of night nursing at 7 months. IF you want to gradually get him off the night nursing then set a time for you like if he wakes up between 2-4 you will nurse but if he wakes before 2 or after 4 you will only give him the pacifier or let him cry for a bit. My son loves his monkey that he sleeps with maybe if your son doesnt have a blankee or lovey to sleep with, he would enjoy the added comfort. Good luck, this is not an easy process but dont do it just because you think that is what other people would do, when you feel it is the right time then it probably is.

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M.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

He is 16 months old and does not sleep through the night? I think that the night time feeding means the evening before bed feeding and not the one during the night.
I think it is time for you to get a full night sleep, a bit of quality time with your spouse, and remember your son will still wake up loving you in the morning even if you do not bring him to bed in the night. Good luck to you.
M. in Milwaukee

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A.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I feel for you! My 23 month old daughter is still nursing....and we just had a baby a month ago so I have two nurslings! If you don't want to nurse while you are pregnant (which by the way is safe to do) I would suggest doing it soon. It seemed like my daughter wanted to nurse WAY more once I got pregnant....are you sure you aren't pregnant yet? Your milk can change once you are. Even though I'm not a big supporter of the CIO method that is what I had to do with my daughter to get her to sleep all night long. It was so hard, but she was fine. I was so worried she would hate me, but she doesn't! But, if you do decide to do it you HAVE to stick with it. You must commit or you will be doing your son more damage by sending him mixed signals. You will know what to do! Good luck!

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi R.,

You've gotten good advice. I will add that if he is still taking 2 or 3 naps, try eliminating one. And curtail any late afternoon naps.

If you move him into his own room, he may surprise you and not wake up at all! While I never technically co-slept, my son's bassinet was in my room the first 6 months. When we moved him into his own room, he slept better and longer.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I had the same problem with our son... I made it to 18 months and then quit bf because he was getting up so often in the middle of the night and becoming so restless.

I just brought him to bed with a sippy cup one night and kept giving him the water every time he wanted to nurse. We also had a soft bear I used at this time as well. I would give him the bear to snuggle and the cup to drink. He was not a happy camper about it (kept trying to lift my shirt...LOL) but it only took about 3 nights and he forgot about nursing and snuggled in to sleep at night instead. We continued to co-sleep as I didn't want to take away his 2 comforts at the same time.

At about 22 months-for Jack- we have moved both our kids (sister is 4)to a mattress on our floor. It is right next to our bed. This way we are there to comfort them or help them if they need anything in the middle of the night. Again, this transition took about 3 nights and then they snuggled in quite well and fell asleep quickly.

We still put both kids to bed with a sippy cup of water. And they can sleep with any animal, doll, or toy of their choice. Jack usually picks his tractor and Hannah a doll or puppy.

Good luck.

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