Seeking Advice on Raising Multiples, Need Help with Discipline

Updated on September 01, 2006
C.H. asks from Memphis, TN
13 answers

I have 4 year old triplets, two girls and a boy. They are our only children. Our son is having trouble handling his emotions and has several tantrums daily. Is this normal for boys this age - the girls aren't nearly as bad when they don't get their way.

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J.S.

answers from Savannah on

I don't have multiples but a very close friend of mine does and here are some websites I found for her that are very informative. Also, she and I both had boys before the birth of her twins and our boys tend to act out more than the girls, and develope a little slower in speech and such, in physical skills (walking, motor skills) the boys were faster to develop. That has been our experience at least.

I hope these websites help. Some are for twins but scan through the links because there are also triplet web site links mixed in there.

www.tisfortwins.com/directory.html

http://www.tripletsandus.com/triplets/links.htm

Good Luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.J.

answers from Atlanta on

C.,

I am not sure, but I think there is a support group called MOMs - Mothers of Multiples. I wonder if they could be of help to you? Maybe your dr. will know if this is the correct name. I know they exist, b/c they even have a consignment sale for moms with multiples!
Good luck - hang in there!
Nancy

1 mom found this helpful
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S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi C.,

My son is 5 and he still can have tantrums at times. It is noraml. The best thing to do is not give him attention for it. Meaning, try to focus on his positive attributes. If he does something even little, make a big deal out of it. Over time he will realize that he is getting the attention for his good choices, rather then for the bad and he will want to make better choices.

I don't you or the way your family functions, but is it possible that he might feel left out b/c he has 2 sisters and they probably do alot of girl things and he is acting out to get your attention?

Kids are funny- don't blame yourself, just take one day at at time, but stay consistent in your disciplining and the way you choose to do it.

Hope this helps!
I am reading a book called Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson~ I highly recommend it.

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M.E.

answers from Florence on

From one mother of triplets to another - HELLO!!! My trio is 2 1/2 yrs old. We currently live in VA, but we're moving to Savannah, TN in 7 mos. I just wanted to let you know you're so NOT alone -- I have 3 boys and 2 girls (trips are G/B/G & I have 2 singletons). I love my boys to death, but have to admit that all 3 of my boys have been more challenging than my 2 girls. They have tempers and they can be very "passionate" about silly little things. I'm hopeful that as they get older things will improve. Would love to keep in touch! Where do you live?

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S.

answers from Birmingham on

I have multiples but they are only 4 months old..But I am a member of a mom's of multiples club and it is a great support group..I am sure if you look around you can find one in your area...Here is the link to our club's page and there may be a link to other clubs.. www.bamom.org Good luck

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R.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi C.,

I am not sure what is and what is not normal. My son is 3 and he does the same thing and he is an only child. But, in case he can verbilize very well what he wants, so I think that is a lot of his frustration. But, other times he also does have these break downs when we get stern with him, for example, with potty training and using manners. When he does not want to do something he will show you that he does not, even with the speech issue. It may be boys....they seem to be a little more stubborn than girls at this stage in their lives?

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A.

answers from Biloxi on

Hi C.! I have a 3 year old girl and 2 year old boy. I don't really think it is a boy or girl thing as much as it is temperament. I too am a Christian and I absolutely love any material I have read by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. You may have heard of them. They have an excellent resource website along with materials you can order. We are doing Growing Kids God's Way with our 2 children. It is absolutely WONDERFUL! We see so much fruit in our children because of the training techniques they teach. The website is www.gfi.org. It stands for Growing Families International. One idea we just learned from the series is about self-control. One way to get kids under control is to have them put their hands together and say "You need to fold your hands and get some self-control." Of course, the Bible teaches us in Galatians 5:22-23 about it being one of the fruits of the Spirit. I love training my children in Biblical principles. My husband and I are currently facilitating the Growing Kids God's Way series at our church and see so much change in our children along with the other children whose parents are taking the class. Please feel free to email me at ____@____.com with any specific questions. Many blessings!

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S.K.

answers from Chattanooga on

Stick with wood. My husband and I at one time owned furniture stores in Florida. Wood can be fixed and repainted. Plastic cannot. Also I agree with the other entries the wood sets are usually slightly larger in size than the plastic ones. If you can not find anything you like locally babystyle.com and potterybarnkids.com online have some great pieces.

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T.

answers from Atlanta on

I have two year old twin boys and they are quite the sparkplugs. I am repsonding because I've heard that fours (for boys) are terrible and that it is just like repeating the twos again. . . I completely feel that it is normal for him to do the tantrums. Easier said than done, but try your best to ignore it and redirect attention to something else. I am sure he is also beginning to feel somewhat outnumbered with two sisters and they are all the same age. I think I have my hands completely full and am almost in a straight-jacket with twins, I cannot imagine triplets!!! Good luck. It is just a phase, it is just a phase, it is just a phase.

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D.J.

answers from Birmingham on

C.,

I have twin daughters that just turned six years old. I do remember that the 4 year old stage was a little more challenging than the twos and threes. I think it is because their minds are trying to mature a little and they begin questioning why this and why that?

You specifically asked for help with discipline. I highly recommend the books "COMMON SENSE PARENTING OF TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS" BY BRIDGET BARNES AND STEVEN YORK. Another book I absolutely love is "WIMPY PARENTS-FROM TODDLER TO TEEN-HOW NOT TO RAISE A BRAT" BY KENNETH CONDRELL.

When you read these books highlight the chapters that apply to your particular situation and follow the suggestions given each and every time with no exceptions. Get your husband involved in the same course of discipline and present a united front. You should see an immediate improvement in behavior.

I'm a firm believer that in our home the girls may be the "Princesses" but I'm the Queen and Dad's the King! We give plenty of love and praise but also have rules and regulations.

I LOVE having twins and wouldn't have it any other way. Good luck! It will get better!

D.

PS: The five year old phase was a breeze and six seems even better so far! :)

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A.H.

answers from Nashville on

I live in Nolensville too and have 4 year old twins(boy and girl)and a three year old son. My little one is the one who throws tantrums and I have to end up just being consistent with him. I was a school social worker who did counseling in an elementary school so I do a lot of thing with good and bad choices. He is so strongwilled so I know what you mean... I hope this helps. I am sure we will meet sometime here in Nolensville. I go to the first united methodist in town.

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D.

answers from Atlanta on

There is a book that my daughter used that helped her more than anything. It is "Love and Logic" and my grandchildren did a turn around...... go to loveandlogic.com and Sheparding Your Child's Heart is also a good one. Hope this helps. The main thing she had to do was tell them there are consequences to their actions and then do what she said.
May God richly Bless your efforts!
D.

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