Seeking Advice on Dealing with Husband's Tumor

Hi D., I will be holding you and your family in my prayers! I suggest contacting your local cancer services, as they will be able to provide resources to you, as well as support. It is also important for you to nourish your spirit, and take care of you during this time. The analogy is, if you give out ladles of water to everyone, when it's your turn there isn't any left. Continue writing/journaling. Create a daily gratitude journal and savor the little things. You could make your own blog on Word Press for journaling and updates, if that is something of interest to you. Take time for creative fun, laugh, alot!! Find the good in all things!! Quality time is important! Blessings to you!

How can you not be worried? We will keep you in our prayers and remember the Lord will make your burdens light upon your shoulders. The way I stay strong in tough situations is I go into my work mode, and tell yourself, you can do this, I'm a nurse.

My question is what are you going to do to help make sure he has the best chance (if it's cancer?) of fighting it off? There are two websites I recommend www.beatcancer.org and www.BeBetterWithFood.com

Hi, I'm so sorry, I truly hope he is fine and gets through this. My advice is to turn to your friends and family, cry with them, let them help you through this. Don't be afraid to show your husband your fears, its normal to be afraid, you guys can lean on each other. When my hubby was sick I was in a panic inside but never spoke to him about it, he told me he wished I would have because he would have used those opportunities to share his fears with me. Instead we both bottled up our feelings to stay strong and it was stressful, talk about it, cry with him, and stay positive with each other.

If you haven't already watched "The Secret" then you need to get a copy and watch it together. The power of the mind is incredible.

I wish you both a healthy happy, long life together

E.

Hi D.!
Please know that you are in my prayers. I pray that you know Christ. Having a solid faith has helped me and my family through some vry tough times. Of course, nothing will prevent you from hurting and worrying, but a true reliance in God will give you a peace you wouldn't believe possible.

It is important to be strong for your husband, but don't ignore your own needs. Find a support network: family, friends, church, support group. You can't carry this burden all by yourself, and you can't adequately care for and support your husband if your needs are not met.

I pray that God will work in your life in amazing ways.
In God's Love,
T.

Hi D.! I feel your pain. I have a scripture verse to share with you, one that sustained me during my husband's recovery from a near fatal accident--I Peter 5:7< Cast all of your cares, worries, & anxieties upon the Lord for He cares for and about you. (this is taken from the amplified Bible). It's okay to be scared, it's okay to be mad, it's okay to be anxious, it's okay to cry. However you're feeling, you can know and trust that you can pour out your heart to our Father in heaven and trust that He will take you into his arms and give you the "peace that passes all understanding". He will sustain you as you are strong for your husband, yourself, and everyone else. I encourage you to keep a journal, if you don't already. Also, (this is gonna sound selfish-but it's not) make/take time for yourself to have time to reflect & write, to take a bubble bath, to meet a friend for coffee, etc... I know that God will give you the strength, and everything else you need to "be strong". By you asking for help shows much strength in its self. I'm praying for you, and know that you're gonna make it through this. I'm just crazy enough to believe your husband will too.
Also, the medical field has changed a lot in 25 years. You will have to be your husband's advocate. Closely monitor what the nurses & doctor's are doing. Research every med they prescribe for him, every procedure, don't take them at their word every time. I know, this may sound conspiratorial(?), but on more than one occasion, hospital staff, & physician's have almost killed my husband through meds. Because,there is a cap on lawsuits in this state(not that I'm a big proponent of such things) they know they have patients and their families over a barrel. Don't take anything for granted. They will get mad at you questioning them, but your husband's life may be at stake.
Praying for you & yours, R.

My only advice is to stand by his side and pray about it. Get as many people as you know praying about your family as well, and then take each hurdle as they come. Hopefully there won't be too many more.

I can understand your concern and fears. It is very different when it's someone we love and are close to.

Lots of things have changed in medicine in the last 25 years. Things we once feared aren't so big any more, prognosis is far better than back then. So take heart in the advancement of medicine and know that doctors are far more aggressive than before.

Also, in times like this I totally give it over to God. When things are this big I know I can't be strong on my own, but with His help I have made it through a lot of hardships and scares. Sometimes I pray and it helps me for the day, other times I have to pray hourly or more because the fear is so great. And Satan attacks at your most vulnerable points too.

I'm glad you can post here, but find someone you're close to that you can reach out to & be open with. Being strong is great, but no one is a super hero, ok?

Keep us updated.

Taking every day at a time is all you can do right now- I would not focus on the negative-- that will only compound your problems. I would make sure you have his insurance in place, will, etc.... (my hubby and I did this when we got married)-- but otherwise, I would only focus on the positives and what you can control. I send you well wishes and hope that things go smoothly for you and your family.

Mel

Make sure your paperwork is in order, and you feel comfortable about the legalities. The emotional support will be there, you have been together 22 yrs. That is what marriage is, a give and take. I am sure your kids will be there for you 2. I pray everything turns out well. God Bless- K., married 46 yrs

think positive and pray for God's healing and strength. That's about all you can do right now.

Don't try to put on a false front of bravery, but don't dispair, either. Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own without us borrowing trouble from it (worrying). Take one day, one hour, one minute at a time as needed. We all know this 'could be' something really serious -- life threatening, but if the doctors have a good outlook for the surgery just meet it head-on with lots of prayer and faith that God will guide the surgeons' hands, that the full tumor can and will be removed, and that he'll have a speedy and thorough recovery. Prayer DOES change things! Have family members there at the hospital with you for support, if possible (and a pastor, some friends/neighbors -- invite whoever you'd like to have with you and just let them decide if they can make it or not). If it doesn't work out smoothly for him, whatever happens will just have to be faced as it comes. There's no other choice, and there are no easy answers. Just keep the faith. The Lord will make you strong. (The JOY of the Lord is our strength. Praise and thank Him for all He's already provided and done for you and your family, and this makes it easier to believe that He cares and wants the best for us always).

Dear D.
I too write. Live for Today. Believe in your love to him. Yes fear is there. Don't let it take control of your moments with him.Enjoy and share all there is right now. Today was given to you both.

Vicki

D. what you are facing is not easy. Put your faith and trust in God. You will have your days and moments. Just want to share what kept me when the doctors had given up on my youngest son at the age of 20, 2 years ago this month. I'll try to keep it short. He was admitted to the hospital for a sinus infection, everything seemed to go wrong. He was airlifted from one hospital to another and placed in neuro-critical care. He had a stroke on his right side,bacterial brain meningitis, arteries in his brain closed up and ended up with a defibrillator. He flatlined 3 times. The words that he would speak to us kept the family strong. He told me how much he loved me and if God should take him not to cry just smile. I told him whatever he ask that's what I would do. I realized it was nothing I could do but place it in God's hand. I would tell people however God worked it, it was going to be okay, because my son had prepared us. During the hospital visits, I focused on making sure I strong and always smiling when he would see me. I could go on, there's much more. I'm blessed that I had an ooportunity to share with you. I pray that God gives you the strength to be strong and remember however he works it is going to be okay and your husband is going to be fine. Believe it and focus on that. God Bless

ms. D. i am a mother of 2 they are grown and on their own. i am grandma of three. 3, 6, 10. first i would ask that you rely on God he will allow you to go thu only so much. your concern is never to large for (HIM) for in his scriptures he say cast all your cares on me for i careth for you.1 peter 5:7. and knopw what i care and love you with God's love. I can believe you and yopur spouse are wonderful folks! My prayer is that God gives you the strength you need to hang in there, you are not alone!!

Ms. EMMa

I just talked with a friend of mine and she said a class mate of ours had died. We talked about missing her but my friend said, I believe everyone has an appointed time to die and it doesn't make it easy on loved ones when it happens. None of us know when it's our turn. I read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's books (a Swedish doctor that started Hospice in the U.S.) Actually, they helped me deal with my mother and father's passing. The book I loved was "To Live Until We Say Goodbye." I wrote Dr. Ross an email to thank her for her strength and that her books gave me strength. I wrote again a year or so ago and she had died but I received a wonderful email from her son who had the same sweet compassion as she. She had an inner strength to work with only dying patients - most of them had cancer. I learned how to "be with" people who were dying and be with the other loved ones. She taught me more about compassion, strength, and knowledge about the process than anything I found. I still go back to her books to see the pictures and read the stories of her patients. There are fabulous poems and it all brought me so much peace. I recently saw a copy of the book was at a used book store in town. Along with the Bible, I became the daughter who had the strength to help our family through it all. By the way, God will never give you more than you can bare. Get the book and read the Bible. God bless you - you can do it. Just remember that love never dies.....