Seeking Advice on Childhood Phobia.

Updated on January 29, 2010
M.J. asks from Allen, TX
14 answers

I have a very friendly, outgoing and very happy 5 year old daughter. However, she started having panic attacks 6 months ago and we discovered they are from a fear of vomiting. She witnessed a boy in her Kindergarten class throw up and she showed great anxiety over the episode. She is apprehensive about a variety of foods and when she is feeling fearful she will refuse to eat at all. The episode at school create in her mind an obsessive preoccupation with vomit. The following day she did not want to go to school and said her freshly laundered shirt smelled of vomit. She has a wonderful teacher who helped her get through the following week and rewarded her when she didn't cry for the day. This past weekend she was back to her bubbly self and eating normally until last night when she started coughing so much she was gagging. I held her and her heart was racing and she showed great fear on her face. Has anyone experienced something similar and any advice on how to desensitize and get her over this?

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

I am a retired therapist and I would also recommend Dr. Steve Reed, who uses rapid eye movement therapy to work with traumas and phobias. This is a well researched therapy that is non-invasive as another responder said. Good luck.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M. - I wish I could give you clear cut advice on how to handle this situation w/your daughter, but I'm mainly writing just to tell you that you're not alone! In fact, when I was 9 years old, I had a serious phobia of other people vomiting as well. It developed after several experiences of sitting next to kids who threw up in class - I don't know why, but it just really freaked me out. My fear was so overwhelming that I eventually faked an illness so I wouldn't have to go to school & risk being around kids throwing up (my parents still make fun of me for this :). Crazy, huh? But that's how phobias are with little kids. That's great that your daughter is communicating to you exactly what she's fearful of, so you can help her overcome it. I think with me, I just eventually got over it - very gradually. I still don't particularly like to be around people vomitting (who does?!), but with time & maturity, it becomes less of a big deal to a kid. I think that you trying to console her & help her see that it's just a natural function of being a human will help a lot. Vomitting is just such a violent body function that it can be very disturbing, so maybe if she understands that it's just how our bodies get rid of icky stuff, she'll be less fearful. Those are my two cents! :) And don't worry - she's normal & she'll get over it eventually!

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Oh my. I wonder if it was my child that she saw. He vomited during lunch one day and was so embarrassed over it. He had to use his emergency clothes to change into because it was so messy.
He felt so terrible for two days and missed school. The good thing was, we went to the doctor and found he was just starting an ear infection and strep so it saved him from weekend sickness w/o antibiotics. If he hadn't been sick, I would not have known.
~~~
Not sure if was my 5 yr old guy or not, lots of little ones were sick, but please tell her he was so embarrassed that everyone saw it. Vomitting is terrible and gross and smelly and it does happen. But most importantly, when he threw up he did feel a little better.
~~~
Vomit is caused by the body trying to get rid of really bad sick germs. It's okay to vomit. It's really yucky but it is a way for the body to heal itself.
~~~
He did have to brush his teeth and gargle after wards to make the bad taste go away.
~~~
The bad smell is called bile - it helps digest the food and it smells really bad and does make other people throw up when they smell it but it does good things for our body by digesting our food and helping the stomach bring the nutrition to all parts of our bodies.
~~~
I am an empathy vomiter myself so I understand her feelings. Would she be worried that she would vomit and be embarrassed?
I remember once I ate frozen kernal corn (cooked) and after eating most of it I found body hair all in it. It was four years ago and I still can't eat corn without thinking of it and being grossed out. I would rather eat green beans!

It might take time for her to get over the smell and sight of the incident but I think most probable she will always remember that as part of kindergarten. I remember my first vomiting incident and it was terrible too and I still don't like it so please let her know it's okay to have anti feelings towards it.
~~~
If it was my little guy, I am so sorry. He would feel so terrible if he knew he made her feel so bad and even more embarrassed that she remembers it.

School is so much when you are five then to go and traumatize the peers, my oh my- or to be traumatized already.
I hope she gets to feeling better about these things.
God bless, C.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

M., as an emetophobe, I want to ask you to take it easy on your daugher and understand that you can't just desensitize her to make this go away, that's not how this works. At the same time, if she's getting obsessive about vomit, she needs help to find ways to turn her mind to something else when she starts to worry about it because that is pretty unhealthy.

Here's a link that I have shared with my friends and family to try to help them understand what this fear is all about-I would recommend trying to find your daughter a counsellor or therapist to help her cope with this. I have had people tell me I am crazy or they have tried to force me to "snap out of it", which seemed to make it worse for me.

http://emetophobia.bravepages.com/emetophobia.html

I have developed my own tricks for coping with this such as imagining a place that I love to go and focusing on that when I start to freak out. You might ask your daughter if she could go anywhere in the world, where would it be, find her pictures, etc. about it, and next time she starts having a panic attack, tell her to think about this fabulous place, what does she see in her mind, what would she do while she's there, etc.

But honestly, I think it might be better to find a therapist to help you help your daughter cope with this.

I wish you all the best. Please let us know how it turns out.

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

I know a great therapist for anxiety issues (my daughter has them too). Her name is Mary Kathleen Norris and she is in Bedford (Tibbets Dr., Suite C, Bedford, TX 76022, ###-###-####). Her specialty is treating OCD in kids. We have been seeing her for about 3 months and think she is fabulous!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry this happened to her. I am guessing that it will just take a little time. 5 is a great but tough age. I think if you keep reassuring her and validating her feelings, that she will get over it soon enough. Good luck!

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K.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wow- this is a child version of me! I have a horrible phobia about vomiting. I have panic attacks when I see, hear, smell or even think of someone throwing up. It's called emetaphobia. Sp? I've had this since I was 7 but only found out what it was a few years ago. I take Xanax on an as needed basis, my 8 yr old daughter is now having panic attacks - and I'm lost as far as what to do to help her. Especially since when she panics she thows up. My worst nightmare. Good luck to you, I wish I had some solution to offer....

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

oh my gosh, this was me....when I was about 5 a boy in my kindergarten class was crying so much he threw up all over our work table, I was so upset I freaked out, screaming and crying, I was sent to the principal’s office for most of that day due to that, I was deathly afraid of throw up, I can remember being sick with the flu when I was like 6 and feeling like I was going to die if I threw up, I remember my sister used to collect stickers and she had one silly little sticker with a frog on it coughing bubbles and that scared me so bad, I had to leave the room and hide……at 5 everything was so much more scarier.

My parents never did anything about it I would have nightmares and everything scared for years, anxiety all that. It was a phobia for sure, the only thing that cured me was when I got older and pregnant with my first child and I had morning sickness and I had no choice but to just throw up and be an adult about it.....But, what my parents should have done was to take me to a therapist when I was younger...now that I have finished my child development classes and my degree in psychology that is what I think my parents should have done. I know now 25 years and 4 kids later all babies throw up and all my pregnancies I was sick, but if I would have gotten some help early on it would have not taken this long to over come it.

Find a life coach, or a child development course that might help you get some tools to help her over come the fear. I think doing nothing and waiting it out won’t work, she will most likely be afraid of this for years if it is not dealt with. I have a 4-year-old son who is afraid of everything; I am doing some exercises with him and plan to get him into some programs to help him.

I know people cringes at the thought of having kids see a therapist or something like that. I have a son that is 16 and we had to have him in therapy over an issue when he was like 8 years old. He is fine now, but all we did was get some basic knowledge and some tools so help with what was going on with him, but I don’t think it would hurt to find help for the matter, in my opinion if she has anxiety over it, she needs some outside help to deal; basically just some simple tools for her do use so she can get through it.

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L.V.

answers from Amarillo on

It's a scary situation for a child to go through that. I should know, I did that same thing when I was 5 years old. I would actually go into these bad anxiety attacks where my mother would have to sit in front of me and tell me to relax and make me take slow, deep breaths with her until I calmed down. I don't know why I started that but I know it lasted a few years. Even after it all finally stopped I could not stand the sight of vomit or anything like that without being sick myself. It wasn't until I had my own kids that I finally had to suck it up and make myself get over it all and that was 7 years ago. She'll grow out of it eventually. Everyone develops a fear at sometime in their life and this just happens to be hers. It wasn't fun for me but I (and my parents) survived it all. :) Just be patient and work with her on it. She's off to a great start with her teacher's support. I had one teacher who didn't understand it all so my anxiety's became frequent to where I'd actually think about it so much I became sick. It helps to have someone make you comfortable with it all. Hope some of this helps.

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B.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hello, M.,
Dr. Steve Reed in Richardson specializes in treating phobias with REM (rapid eye movement) therapy, which is very effective and non-invasive.
He helped my youngest daughter with phobias after we had been to several others that just did tests on her and wanted to put her on medication. It only took 3 or 4 treatments before she was substantially better. I don't have his number anymore, but I'm sure he's in the Yellow Pages.
Good luck and rest assured, she can be helped.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,

My son went through the exact same thing at that age after he got carsick. He had nightmares about it! I personally don't think I would send my child to a therapist like others are suggesting. I'm sure you've experienced one of those short-lived phobias with her already that last a few weeks and then they're over it and on to something else. I just talked to my son about it whenever he brought it up and let him know that he would be OK, and he forgot all about it after a couple of weeks. I try to downplay these things as much as I can so it doesn't escalate into what they think is a crisis situation. My kids get a serious kick out of hearing about all of their silly kid phases!!

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C.W.

answers from Lubbock on

I have a friend named Melissa who had a kindergarten daughter (or has I should say) who went through this exact same situation. In fact, if I didn't see the "J" after your name, I'd question if that was you! I don't know what all she did to help her daughter but I thought I'd let you know your daughter isn't the only one to go through this. My son doesn't have the phobia like your daughter but he gets grossed out very easily. We just try to downplay the things that gross him out but it's hard b/c he has validity in what grosses him out (i.e. dirty diapers in parking lots (yeah that we saw this weekend ewwwww), vomitt, etc). Hang in there. Sounds like you have gotten some good advice here.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know if this will help, but I sadly know what your child is going through. But I am an adult. My story is a little different but with the same outcome. It may be TMI, but might help you get more insight. I got REALLY sick about 6 years ago and was in ICU for a week. I vomited for about 2 days straight with absolutely no intake. I was in what was called diabetic ketoacidosis. But ever since then, I have an amazing phobia of vomiting. To the point I cannot even care for my husband if he is sick for fear of me getting sick from him. My heart races, my stomach churns, I skip meals, I stopped eating certain foods. I guess I fear that I will go through what I went through before. I know it is different with her, but I would try to understand exactly what she is afraid of. I can deal with it myself because I am an adult, but I think maybe you should help her figure out what the cause of he fear is and try to help he work through that and maybe that fear will eventually go away. BUT it is not something necessarily to desensitize per se. At least you know she is not the only one....

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

My(then 5 year old) daughter was the same way about vomiting after she caught a stomach virus last year and had vomited several times in one night. After that she was phobic about vomiting and obsessive about her stomach and what she would and wouldn't put into it. She tends to have anxiety anyway, possibly due to her processing issues. I did not do anything special with her to solve this problem except to listen and encourage her to express her feelings. We talked and read about how the body works and we discussed the stomach and it's function. She has worked through this now. We had a rough couple of months in the beginning but she's fine now. If therapy is an option for your daughter to help her deal with her anxiety then I would recommend it. If not then just know that she will probably outgrow this. I hope that helps. It sounds like you and her teacher are on the right track to helping her deal with this.
Best wishes,
E.

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