Seeking Advice. I Am Always Terrified When My Grown Children Have a Health Issue

Updated on June 14, 2017
D.R. asks from Pine Bush, NY
8 answers

I think I suffer from some form of anxiety. Anytime, one of my adult kids get sick, don't feel well, I am terrified they will die. Currently, my daughter has a mole that changed a little. She is going to the doctor. I have been crying for days, making myself sick with worry. I don't know where to turn. I know it is not normal behavior. Everything is not a terminal disease, but I turn it into one. I can't stand myself anymore. I wouldn't want to be around me. I scare the hell out of everyone.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

When my daughter's anxiety got REALLY bad (like yours seems to be) we saw her regular doctor who gave us a few referrals for therapists who specialize in anxiety disorders. I also asked around (other parents, friends, the school counselor, etc.) for referrals. We ended up seeing a few before deciding on the one that was the best fit.
Please seek this help for yourself, when you find the right treatment it will change your life!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Have you seen a doctor about this? You need help. Please go to the doctor. They can help you.

3 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

you need therapy. start by talking to your dr to see who they recommend, call your insurance company to see if they have anyone on the list that you can go see. and make the appt. a trained professional can help better than random mommas online.

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Well, realizing you have a problem is a big first step to addressing it.
Please make an appointment with your doctor and really talk about the level of anxiety you are feeling.
It really isn't normal to be crying a river at the drop of a hat.
It must be so exhausting for you and everyone around you.
Your primary care physician might refer you to a therapist - and that's ok.
You are going to get help and will get it under control and you'll be in a better position to enjoy life again.

2 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Anxiety is not logical, so you can't talk yourself out of it. You also may not be able to address it without help. Ask your primary care physician for a referral to a counselor who accepts your medical insurance. This is no different from a referral to a medical specialist - very routine and very simple to accomplish.

It might help to write some notes though, to share with the professional. Were you always nervous when they were little? Did something happen after they were adults that made you experience loss or the fear of loss? Do you feel a loss of control now that the kids are adults and you aren't in charge or watching over them every second? Are there other things that make you anxious? You don't have to figure all this out - but writing some things down can help you organize your thoughts about what you might want to discuss or share.

And don't worry right now about who doesn't want to be around you or what effect this has on others. Get help, and focus on yourself. This is treatable, and you will be able to turn this around. You will. But you need objective help to make that happen.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

You do not need to live like this. Therapy will help give you the coping mechanisms you need.

For what it is worth....I am also betting your daughter will be fine.

1 mom found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia, 3Grownkids.

I'm sorry you need help. Please go to your Primary Care Physician and show them this post. Tell them that you need help.

My son had a mole that changed. I get your fears. My dad has had skin cancer - melanoma, basil cell and all the other skin cancers. No kidding. No exaggerations. I was scared. They just called me today - it's benign. They had already removed it.

Please breathe. Please write down your fears. Then let them go. Learn to compartmentalize your feelings and know what is to be terrified about and what is to be scared/nervous over. breathe first.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Portland on

I agree with Tadpole.

Anxiety is very hard - I went to a few sessions with a therapist for some social anxiety I was having. Helped tremendously. Mine was something I could deal with - but they can really help people who are struggling. Be good to yourself and make an appointment - or talk to your doctor who can put you in touch with the right person for you. Medication may be an option too. Some people only need to take it while learning coping techniques - some people find great benefit from it.

You can't rationalize it away - so don't beat yourself up over it :)

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions