Seeking Advice from Work at Home Moms

I work from home full time and my daughter goes to daycare full time. I have a regular work schedule (M-F 8-4:30) so my day is the same as if I worked in the office just without the commute.

Yeah - working from home and prince charming are the biggest 2 myths that women buy into.......

I have done all 3 (SAHM, WAHM, and work at an office mom) at various times. When I worked at home my daughter was older (5), in kindergarten 3 hrs each day AND able to entertain herself and it was STILL hard to work at home without a babysitter when she was there.

Also, I will tell you this.... without an actual "office" in your home where you can go and shut the door it's even tougher. For my job I just had to have access to a laptop, so I used the desk in my living room. My daughter felt like I was ignoring her! Once I went back to work in an office outside the home (which was working MORE hours than when I was a WAHM) she actually said to me that she liked it now that I worked LESS because I spent more time with her!!!!! Perceptions, huh?

Now, what I did like is that I could structure my day so that I could go pick her up and/or be at any play/concert/fieldtrip etc that she had for school and then I just worked my hours that evening. BUT I wasn't successful until I was able to hire someone who would spend time with just her.

I also found that working from home INCREASED my stress. You think you can just throw a load of clothes in the washer or get stuff done in between working. I found, however, just the opposite. I had SUCH a hard time separating my "work" from my "home" that I sort of felt like I was always doing everything all the time. Work never ended. Home never ended. Mommy never ended.

When I had my first child, I decided while on maternity leave to quit a 6-figure job to stay home with him. It was the hardest thing I ever did but I simply could not go back to an 80+ hour a week job and raise a baby no matter how much I loved the job. I was blessed with the opportunity to work at home which I have never regretted. I will not lie to you, it is chaos and difficult and I do a lot of work when my kids are asleep therefore I am sleep deprived, overwhelmed, and my house isn't always in the perfect shape but I wouldn't change it for the world.

In the summers I use a college student, she comes to my house and plays with the kids two days a week. I pay her $10 an hour and my kids both love it. The rest of the year I just tough it out. I haven't noticed that I get fussy or irritated with my kids because of it but I do feel it. In short, I have never been able to put my kids in day care, I have never once thought it was better than me being there for them even if I am stressed. My time with them is so short and once they start school full time I can work more or work out of the house. For now, bring on the stress I want to hang with my babies.

Hope this helps, I know how hard it is, whatever you chose, be it right or wrong for you, you can always make adjustments. Maybe try it and if it doesn't work do something else.

Good luck!

You need to evaluate if your kids can play by themselves or together without your constant interference. I'm not saying to let them go completely unsupervised, but can they play in the next room for long periods of time without your having to check on them too often?

You also need to know if the new job is something that needs undivided attention to do it properly. If you have to keep getting up every 20 minutes to referee the kid's fights or give them a snack or whatever, then that's really going to affect the quality of work you can provide. It'll take twice as long to do whatever you're doing that way.

How quiet is your house? Can the children stay quiet reasonably reliably when asked? This is important if you'll be doing work requiring you to make phone calls. A toddler screaming in the background does not make a professional impression.

Can you do your work odd hours? Perhaps you can schedule it so you're doing you work early in the morning, late at night, and during naptime. Would this schedule be something you could handle?

Will your husband understand that, even though you're at home, you won't have time to do housework? You'll be working. You don't need him adding extra stress to your day.

Do you have relatives in the area that would be willing to watch the kids regularly for free or a lower fee than a day care? Even if you can't use their help for your whole workday, it could help.

The decision is yours and what works for you may or may not work for others. So, I can't really say what you should do. These are just some things to consider as you weigh your choices.

I (like with so many things) split the difference.

About 1/2 my work I do while kiddo is sleeping. Then 1/4 while he's working on something, and then 1/4 while he's elsewhere. ((I also get *me* time while he's elsewhere)).

Currently I have one afternoon a week where he's with Nana & Papa... and one evening a week while he's with daddy. I USED to have one full weekend day as well... and I really miss it. But it just doesn't work right now. On those 1/2 days I have child-free I use one for myself (being utterly lazy), and one for work.

Being a SAH/WAH mum I really realized how much I NEED several hours a week not being "responsible". Working away from home provides that (because you're only responsible for yourself). In home help didn't help me, because I was still (in the back of my mind) constantly paying attention to what was going on. For my H, though, it doesn't matter. He can work from home with kiddo having a meltdown or the stomach flu, and still be able to concentrate. Me, though... it just didn't work.

My suggestion is to KEEP your childcare for at least the first month, while you settle in... and then to back off until you feel comfy/balanced with your arrangement.

I am a WAHM and have been for almost 6yrs. I do data entry for a local company.. When I tell anyone that they say "wow that must be great, you get to work from home and stay home with the kids"....My response "Ah no it is not that great, except I can work when I want and don't need permission to have vacation days".

I have 3 kids, 2 of which are in school, well at least for another week until summer starts. My husband works afternoons (3-11pm). He is home in the morning to help out with the youngest, but I usually don't have work during this time or we have to run errands. So generally I end up working in the afternoons into the evening and taking care of the 3 kids.

At times it is even hard to make myself work because I would rather be spending the time with the kids than working.

My stress levels have gone throught the roof since working from home. The best thing for me about being able to work from home is that I get to see my husband. If I had a 9-5 job outside the home I would never see him because of his 3-11pm work schedule......

So for now I take the bad with the good.....

Just do what is best for your family...

If you have a local college in your area, try looking for a responsible college girl or maybe an older woman from your church. Schedule priority things during rest time, when you know you'll have an hour to devote entirely to those items.

Depending on what you would pay for day care-, you might want to consider having an au pair. The cost is less then $8/Hr and you can create a schedule for the au pair to suit your needs. It's a great experience for the whole family. Of course, you would have to have room in your home for an au pair to live with you. Let me know if you are interested and I can let you know more about it.

You'll need to get help in your own house, for your work hours.
If it is so flexible, then perhaps you can work something like 9am-2pm, 4 days a week.... so then a sitter comes and works from 9-12... puts them down for a nap at noon... and then you can continue working until they wake up .. say 2pm. That would give you the afternoons with your kids.
BUT I can say that you cannot show your face if the kids are in the house... My kids are angels with my nanny ... then once they see me, it's all over.. they just want mommy mommy mommy.... I honestly cannot come out of my homeoffice until nap time.
I'd suggest www.sittercity.com, for such part time help...
also www.care.com was a good site that I used.
i think it gets you more time with your kids, but I am not sure it is less stressful or simpler.

I work from home, but not that many hours. My kids are grown and I do think 20 hours would have been difficult with them here. It depends on what you do. I can make my own hours. I could have worked partly in the evening when my husband takes over. My kids could have gone with me or been in the room when I am on the phone. My business is laid back. I can do all I want in one day or just an hour each day. I can change it every week. So flexibility and time of day matter. Evaluate what you will be doing and what time of day you will be doing it.

I was actually more involved in my home based businss when my boys were small. Fortunately, I could set them up with an activity and explain to them that I would be on the phone for a certain amount of time and then we would do something together. I also took them to some appointments with me. Again, I would explain to them that I had something very important to do and if they would behave they would get to do something fun afterward. They preferred that way over having a baby sitter. Once the nurse at the doctor's came to me where we were meeting. I was so scared she was going to yell at me for bringing them. But actually she came to complement me saying she had no idea anyone was in the waiting room!
I really miss those days. It is much less fun now without them.
Victoria

Yes, one of the great big myths about working from home in a professional job is that you spend more time with your kids. If that were true, you wouldn't be doing your best work and the work from home arrangement would end. Work from home is just that ... work. So, don't feel discouraged because this is simply the reality of working from home -- you're not the first to go through this and you're not alone. The only situations where I've heard it works having kids home while you're working are when they are pocket money type jobs like party sales that can be done whenever.

I have worked from home as a freelance writer for over nine years now. I love that I can customize my work hours, so my youngest is in daycare only in the morning while her brother is in school. I love being my own boss. However, there is no way I could work and pay attention to my kids at the same time. I'd be a lousy writer and a lousy mom.

Schedule, schedule, schedule, yes it is possible to do this, you just have to time things out just right. Do both of your babies still take a nap if so then take that time as some of your work time. If not try putting them to bed a little earlier so you can get some work done and still manage to have some down time that we all need. If putting to bed earlier doesn't work for you switch it and put them to bed a little later if they will sleep a little longer in the morning so you can do work then. Which ever schedule works best for you.

You can do in home help look on things like craigslist. There are alot of people looking for child care jobs. Check that out in your area. See what you can find.

The worry about not being a good now if your trying to get work done. Well you know yourself best, do you feel like you could schedule your time around your children...make some adjustments in it if neccessary to make it work for you. If this is something that is important to you then i think you could do it without a problem, if you are to worried about it stay where you are because the whole reason you want to do this is to be with your kids. If your home but still not spending anymore time with them then it is not worth it. I really think you could work it out though, if its only gonna take you 20 hrs a week there is a way to schedule your kids and still have time for you at the end of the day. Good luck I hope you are happy with whatever choice you make.

I did this with my first and it was hard. With two it has been pretty much impossible for me. I sneak in work wherever I can, which means I get no down time and when I'm with the kids I'm stressed about the work I'm not doing. We started using some day care and will add a few more hours soon. However, the times when I was able to make it work, were when I planned to work when the kids napped, were at activities or playing quietly, or had my husband watch them so I could work evenings and weekends or early mornings. Good luck!

Hi JH,

Is this something you are totally committed to or is this something you want to try and see if it works? It really depends on what kind of work you are doing from home. I have a friend that sells cosmetics that says she works at home but shes always running errands and out of the home. My husband and I have always worked from home and we have not had any difficulty. I have assigned chore time when I need to be on the phone. Your kids are not quite there yet but nap time and DVD time could be scheduled while you work. Is the work you are doing possibly something you could do after the little ones are in bed? Spending a couple of hours in the afternoon and a couple in the evening?

I personally think in-home help defeats the purpose of staying home and it also eats up the income you are making. My girls are now old enough to babysit and I find myself holding babies while I talk to vendors and clients. Most don't seem to mind if they hear a little one in the background...

Hope my two cents helps...

M.

Yes, it helps. Yes, you still need in-home child care. I found ours on Care.com. You can go cheaper with less experienced people, and that may be perfectly fine since you are home.

You get to see them periodically all day and there is no stressful drive home to follow with dinner... it's so great to work from home. Take advantage!!!