Seeking Advice for Potty Training for 2 Year 4 Month Old Girl

Updated on July 24, 2008
C.V. asks from Whippany, NJ
16 answers

We are currently in the process of potty training our toddler - we have a little potty she uses most times when I bring her - right now she does her "pee pee" on it 2-3 times per day. However, with her pull ups on, if I don't bring her she'll just go in the pull up and not communicate she went. She will say change "poo poo" if she did (hasn't done that on potty yet). Somtimes I will forget to bring her so she'll just go in the diaper :o. She wakes from most naps dry and even stays dry for a couple nights a week. With expecting a second child in the fall, without pushing her too much, is there any other way to speed up the process, ie, just going to underwear and staying around the house for a few days.....Any advice? It appears to me with staying dry for long periods of time, most days, she is ready, and if she can use the potty at least twice a day she is ready....How could I improve my process?

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M.H.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi Definitely switch her into "big girl" undies. I found thats what worked-(she will pee in her pull up whnever I do let her wear one- at freinds house- long car trips etc...) but tries hard not to pee in her underwear- put some trash bags (poke a lot of little little holes so noone could smother) on your couch with a blaket over it. I bought Elmo and tinkerbell underwear- you dont want to pee on Elmo:) !!! She got an M&M for using the potty. When you see the poop face RUN and set her on the potty-also try kind of subtly tossing it in if you got there too late and make a big happy fuss that its in the toilet- let her flush etc.. after a couple of poos she got the idea. Good Luck!!

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K.W.

answers from New York on

My advice is to go cold turkey. When I potty trained my son the best advice I recieved was no pull ups. The pull ups create a false sense of security. By loads of underwear and be prepared to do a lot of wash. Use pull ups at naptime and overnight but it will go much quicker if you go the panties route. Tne timer game also worked really well for us, we put on the timer (for whatever anount of time) and raced to the abthroom, first one there had to use the potty (my son always won...). Prizes also work wonders if you have a kid who is easily "bought". My son (and they say boys take longer) using all of these was potty trained in one week and that included poop! Good Luck!

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T.B.

answers from New York on

You are adding much stress to yourself....
First of all, she does communicate her needs (change poo poo), not perfectly but it is there. Give her time. You are doing the right thing, just relax and she will get it all together. Maybe the dry underwear routine will help. She may say "change pee pee." Please know that all is well, you are doing great. She will get it right in her own way and time. Keep on trying but don't get discouraged. There is nothing wrong with your child. Some kids do it early others don't. And it is no big deal. Children develope in their own way.

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E.E.

answers from Albany on

I used to work in daycare with 2-3 year-olds and had lots of experience with potty training. She will train much quicker if you stop using diapers and pull-ups and switch right over to cotton training underpants, which are a bit more absorbent than regular underpants but she will be able to feel when she is wet and understand that she should not be wet. Also let her run around naked if possible for at least a few hours a day.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

Usually, telling you that she has to go is the last step in a child's toilet training, not an early step. If you used disposable diapers, she doesn't know that pullups are anything different. They are not "training pants" or "underwear," they are a diaper that pulls up and down. She doesn't feel any wetter in them than in a disposable which pulls the moisture away from her skin almost instantly.
My suggestion - switch to cloth diapers or heavy cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer or plastic pants. When she goes in them, she will understand the consequences - she will be very, very wet. She will learn what it feels like before getting very wet and figure out how to hold it til she gets to the toilet. But you must very very consistent about taking her to the bathroom every hour and a half or so. You can't count on her to tell you that she has to go, and at this point, don't ask her if she has to or wants to, just take her.
If she sees the pullup as something that it's okay to go to the bathroom in, she isnt going to suddenly decide one day that these are underwear and she isn't supposed to do that. They are a marketing ploy to make you spend more money by keeping your kid in a disposable diapering product longer, not an effective training aid.
Good luck, it's great that shes under 2 1/2 and using the toilet at all.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

i've been using the padded training pants. they feel the wetness more although they do leak. i have also been keeping a potty chair in the living room for emergencies. i do also recommend staying close to home for a few days.

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R.R.

answers from Rochester on

Going bare-bottomed worked much better for my son than wearing anything (even wearing underwear, because sometimes they would soak up the pee and he wouldn't tell me, so until I felt the wetness I wouldn't know he had gone). I learned the hard way that going back and forth between underwear and pullups set him back- I did this because we were using an RV we are trying to sell and I absolutely could not afford accidents on the RV's upholstery. So stay consistent with your method.

Having routines as far as when your child eats snacks and has drinks and goes potty has helped my son a lot too- it helps him have consistent time frames of when he has the urge to go. I have to keep a reminder schedule on the fridge or I get preoccupied (i.e., 7:30 breakfast, 8am potty; 9:45 am snack, 10:15 potty; 12:00pm lunch, 12:20 potty...etc).

We offered him a special treat (a toy he had been wanting) for after the first time he did #2 on the potty and this REALLY motivated him to go. I also found that it encouraged him to continue to use his potty rather than his pullup by telling him that he was now a big boy, and he was too big for a changing table- so when he went in his pullup he had to take a bath to get clean. This takes him away from his play for longer than he'd like, so he preferred to get it over with faster and go in the potty. I think the changing table can sometimes be a place where they get attention and touch and pampering, so it can be hard to let that go- important to give them hugs and attention when they go in the potty too so they don't feel they are being, ahem, "short-changed" (no pun intended).

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T.E.

answers from Albany on

Don't use pull ups unless you are going out or for naps/nights. Always wear training pants or underwear I potty trained all of my kids before 2. ( We just had our 5th child in March) Give her a reward when she goes I gave m&m's but they say you should not give candy. My brother gives his daughter stickers. We also put the potty chair in the livingroom when we were training so she would become very comfartable with it and also they would learn to remember themselves. Also about a half hour after drinks and meals put her on the potty. Hope some of these help.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Your daughter is learning sooooo many things and at her age isn't always aware that she has to go. She also doesnt care if she goes in her pants. Its not that big a deal, since its what she has always done. So until she enjoys the feeling of being dry and clean it wont bother her. I suggest setting a timer for 60 or 90 minutes and when it bings you tell her to go potty. Also you should have a pretty good idea of her bowel movements, so when you thinks it time watch her for signs that she has to go. She might go into a corner or under the table. At 2 they are starting to get modest and like to poop in private.
Have patience, she is doing good for her age.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

We did the whole pull up thing w/our oldest daughter, but w/our younger one who was almost 3 when she was completely potty trained I would be sure to bring her the the potty 1/2 hour or so after eating every time and didn't want to even get into the whole pull up thing w/her. I think that is a little confusing to them, okay i can poop & pee in my diaper & pull up but not undies??? the true success came when haley asked for a pair of big girl princess undies & my older daugther (then 8 or 9) told haley that she can't go potty on their pretty faces - i don't know if it was just because her big sister said it or what but it worked. I also used the plastic undies over the regular ones. Staying closer to home also worked, but soon you'll know where every potty is in every store! good luck!

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D.F.

answers from Albany on

Hi C., Easiest way is to forget about the pull ups/diapers. Bring her shopping, and let her pick out her own big girl undies. Only put diapers/pull ups on her when she sleeps. Use undies all other times. Keep the potty close by to where you spend most of your time, and just keep asking her every once in a while if she has to use it.
If/when accidents happen, don't make a big deal of it,just tell her next time go on the potty. Keep repeating, that.
Also you can say whenever YOU have to use the potty - I did this with my Son, I would say "OH ! Mommy has to go potty !" and I would waddle funny to the bathroom, and my Son would get a kick out of that and follow me saying the whole way "Mommy - hold it ! Hold it ! Don't go on the floor !" Very cute !
Good luck and it will happen when and if she is ready.

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R.W.

answers from New York on

I really think Pull-Ups are only good for the nighttime when pottry training and not for during the day...they are just too much like diapers. Anyway...Here's what I wrote previously to another mom with Potty training questions:

I'm a big believer in this potty training tip: Once you start, don't go back!!! There is nothing worse than going back and forth between panties and diapers. And, once you've started, commit to it whole-heartedly....forget about yourself and what you want to do for a good week or 2 and focus on the potty training.

Here's what I do...take her to the store and have her help you pick out specail underwear (like any characters she's into, princesses, etc.) Then put her in them! I ask her every 30 minutes or so if she needs to go to the potty OR you can just say, "Let's go to the potty!". If she goes or even if she wets her pants, note the time and how long it is until the next time she goes. You'll kind of get a feel for her "schedule"....of course this can be affected by how much liquid she takes in, but in general you'll be able to figure it out. Once I'm familiar with the time, I'll even set a timer to remind myself to ask her/tell her to go to the potty.

When she does go in the potty, I give tons of praise and then a reward...a sticker on a chart, a small candy or snack, a book she wants to read, or I even let her watch a special Potty Movie (my kids loved "It's Potty Time" even though I think it's extremely annoying, but it worked!).

When she messes up, try really really hard NOT to make a big deal of it!...this one is really hard for me, cuz it can be soooo frustrating! It is also discouraging to her and then she'll start to hide her messes or be afraid to tell you, etc. So, when she messes up, just say..."oh well, maybe next time!" or "remember to always tell me so that I can help you" or similar things....and give hugs.

Potty training can be long and tedious....just DON'T GIVE UP!!! So many of my friends would say, "just give up, it's not worth it, diapers are easier, just wait till they are 3, etc." But, I literally couldn't afford to! Besides if you give up, your child will get so confused and it will be harder and harder to try again.

So, be committed and you'll do great! Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

I always say don't push - this is one where you have to follow your childs lead...but I have to say - I hate pull ups...it's basically a diaper. If you truly feel she is ready - have her go bare bottomed...or gets lots of real underwear and give it about a week. My kids were trained super quickly...It takes work AND a committment on your part first and foremost...

Best wishes,
J.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

You said it yourself...staying home for a few days and wearing underwear should do it! Good Luck!

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K.S.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,
It seems like she can control herself by staying dry in her diaper. I would definitely transition her into "big girl underwear". When she does have an accident she will feel the wetness and how uncomfortable they feel. This way she wants to be changed and knows that she has to use the potty when she has to pee. You just have to remind her when she has the accidents that she needs to go pee- pee on the potty. Also, when she has an accident just ask her" Where does your pee-pee go"? As far as pooping in the potty that is usually the last thing they'll do once they get used to the potty. In my toddler classroom we go through the potty training process. Good luck:-)

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G.T.

answers from Rochester on

You said you forget to put her on the potty. How about setting a timer to remind yourself? Set it to go off every hour or hour and a half. Whatever you feel is needed. When it goes off say something like "it's potty time" so she knows what the timer is for. After a while she will hear the timer go off and will just go in and go by herself.

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