Seeking Advice for a 4 Year Old Who Eats NOTHING!

Eventually, he will eat what his body craves. At least that's what I was told by my doctor. And it seemed to work. Both of my boys were picky eaters. Now, they eat me out of house and home. LOL. My youngest is still picky but he will eat fruit when he craves it. Good luck!!

I read someone else mention the book by Jessica Seinfeld, Deceptively Delicious. It is great!! I have a two-year old who is a picky eater. So far everything I have made has been a hit even with my four year old who eats anything. Give it a try, once you get the hang of pureeing it doesn't take long to do.

Children's Hospital of Wisconsin has a program for kids like this. We had our daughter attend it, and it worked fairly well. I think it is called the behavioral feeding team. Good luck. I know it can be frustrating.

Just keep offering what you want him to eat along with a small amount of what he likes. Pickiness is perfectly normbal, but he is old enough to understand that if he eats 1 bite of whateveryou want him to try then he can earn more chicken nuggets etc (or whatever you are serving from his list). And, cut out snacks unless they are fruits or veggies. If he gets hungry enough, he will eventually eat them (trust me, it's the only way we've gotten one of ours to admit that "carrots aren't all that bad, if you're really hungry")That's just to get him to try things and MAYBE eventuallly like them. As far as nutrition, Make a switch to healthier alternatives. Have you tried the soy based chicken nuggets? Also you can keep feeding him cereal, but make sure it is whole grain and steer away from sweet, if he only eats sweetened cereals, try switching to frosted wheat or something like that. Also, if his bread has to be white, try the Wonderbread Whole Grain White bread, I bet he won't be able to tell the difference. If he likes them great!!, if not, as has been said, he will not starve himself eventually he will find something of YOUR list to eat. In the meantime, just throw in a multivitamin or pediasure or something for good measure.

He sounds like my son. It's called Sensory Integration Disorder. Kids with this are very sensitive to colors, textures, flavors, you name it. Many kids with SID (my son included) are on the Autism Spectrum and would benefit from occupational therapy to address some of the sensory issues.

In the meantime keep offering him what everyone else is eating and encouraging him to taste don't force, and don't sneak whole veggies into anything, but you can probably puree some stuff, and add powdered fiber to his juice and milk to help in that department.

I know how frustrating it is. My 3yr old's food list is a bit bigger than your sons (he'll eat applesauce and banannas) but mostly the same "beige" diet. I did find that after he got over his fear of Ketchup (LOL) he decided that tomato sauce on pasta was ok so I could sneak in some pureed veggies. I also use pureed veggies in place of some of the liquid for mac and cheese, and bread.

I just got the book Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld. I made mac n cheese(boxed) for lunch today and rather than squash that is in the recipe, I added some sweet potato puree and extra cheese and it turned out great! My 3 yr old gobbled it up! I was amazed! I also had regular sweet potato on her plate- she didn't touch that! I've also made pancakes with the sweet potato. I plan on trying a recipe with avocado next. I also do vitamins. :) Oh yeah, there are more recipes online that are not in the book: deceptivelydelicious.com. I haven't checked it out yet myself. Hope you get some good ideas!

My two year old also refuses to eat any vegtable (so does my husband:) But for Christmas I got "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld and have been busy making her recipes. She purees veggies and fruits and hides them in sauces and etc. so you cant even tell they are there. Yesterday we made cupcakes with yellow squash in them! Its a little bit of work because you have to make the purees first, but you could also buy premade babyfood and mix it in. She has a recipe for scrambled eggs with cauliflour, chicken nuggets dipped in squash and then the bread crumbs so you cant see them. Check out the book, its been really helpful to me!

My advice would be to slowly fade out the foods you don't want. No cookies or chips in the house, waffles go to wheat ones or cinnamon wheat, snacks are raisin and nut mix. If he has the option and the ok he'll always choose what he's used to. Start putting more veggie or fruit purees in your foods - like the Jessica Seinfeld book. It work and will help you with your nutricion concerns. Then let him skip a couple of meals if he won't eat what you are serving. He will eventually have to try it out of hunger and find it's not so bad. Try some white rice and some stir fried veggies. If he wants more rice he has to have the veggies. Stand strong through the fits. He's not going to starve so much he'll die. The whole family should eat better and he will follow suit. Start slow with a couple of things and keep building. You can do it. There is a book out there called Disease proof your child that gave me a lot of ideas on snacks. It helps understand the nutricion in food. It's a little extreme but I took a lot of ideas from it. Just do it now before it gets even harder.

It seems to me that the problem may stem from your own diet? Parents who eat fruits, vegatbles at every meal set a good example for their children and never introduce them to a "white" diet. Take control- don't offer these foods, only healthy alternatives. It will be beneficial for your entire family. He may resist at first, but will not starve himself. Have you seen the tv show 'Honey we are killing the kids'? Check it out. You are doing long-term harm to him by giving in.

My son is also extremely picky my experience with other children is that it is a phase and will get better they may always be picky but eventually you can start reasoning with them. Have you tried reverse psychology, that seems to work a little on my son. If I am eating it and he is not he usually will want to at least try it, he may spit it out most of the time but once in a while we find one more food we can add to the list. My son however is oppisite yours he only likes, fruit, veggies and crackers.And even though it is healthy he is in the 90th percentile for weight and above 95th percentile for height. Also the way they are prepared I have found makes a difference to their pallet. He loves green beans from a can, but will not touch fresh or frozen, so I try to get the no salt added in the can so that he doesn't get the sodium. Also he won't eat apple sauce or slices he will only eat it as a whole apple, at my son's age (16 months) I have to watch him, but hey he's eating an apple. And carrots have to be warm and cooked through he wont eat them cold. Just a few examples hope this helps...

My son was the same way when he was younger. We kept putting a small amount of different foods on his plate, different textures and spices and colors. Try letting him dip some of his favorite foods in low fat salad dressing and then add different foods for him to dip as he finds flavors he likes. Caramel dip for fruits is good also. Just monitor how much dip he is using. Try tortillas. Maybe very basic at first with just cheese and then try cream cheese, or meats and eventually greens. My doctor told us when we were going through this not to worry to much. Kids can go without eating very much for a few days and while they might get cranky, it won't harm them. Keep putting the good stuff in front of him. Eventually he will eat. My son is now 11 and eats veggies and fruits and even shrimp and scallops!

I do daycare and have 4 children of my own, and I have to tell ya there is no "cure". I had a child that through up tomatos even if they were hidden, and another that did the same with peas. I am required to go to yearly training on nutrition for daycare.

My best advice would be to offer balanced meals all the time, consistantly. With appropriate portions of all the groups. This may sound easier to me than to you because I do this for many children and you only have one child that you will be cooking for and throwing out half of her food. And don't give him extras of the food you know are not nutritious, just one appropriate portion.

And this is a tough one for me, but eat the samething you serve him, and at the same table.

Some other suggestion:
>Serve the same veggie everyday for the same meal for a week, so it can become familiar may want to start with corn... it is not the healthiest but with his list it is an improvement.

>If you find one he like serve it often... steamed brocolli everyday never hurt anyone (i think green giant makes a good CHOPPED broccoli in a steamer bag, most kids like the taste and how small the pieces are)

>Offer things that can be dipped (apples, celery, carrots sticks <cut your own they taste better and you can make them thinner>) then offer dips he may like(stay away from carmel) peanut butter mixed with milk, stir till it combines and looks whipped... is a great dip.

> Cut out all cookies and chips! For a good long time till he is eating better. Believe me a child can seem to live off of a cookie and a few glasses of milk for a whole day! Plus their body will crave the sugar, not food. (Same as us adults!) If this is the case, it would also explain his love for bread items, potatoes as they are HIGH glycemic and turn to sugar in the blood stream. If you think this might be the issue, talk with a good nutritionist, as I have not sucessfully broke my own sugar addiction and would not know how to break a childs.

> 4oz of juice a day... and find out appropiate serving of milk a day for a 4 year old and don't offer more. Children fill up of beverages. Offer as much water as possible (will help body with the sugar too)

> Offer frequent HEALTHY snacks, morning, afternoon and night. A fruit or veggie, and dip or Ezekiel bread (whole grain low glycimic). Stay away from crackers, or anything that come from a box.

>Stick with it, don't get discouraged, angry, frustrated, or forceful... none of these will help. And in all honesty be ready to throw out alot of food!

In MY opinion (not knowing your child, only my boys) a 4 yr old is old enough to talk to about it. Eplain that it is not healthy and have him help prepare? Maybe even grow a garden? My boys will NOT touch the same veggie from a store that they will devore if they grew it. Funny. If you don't buy it, the option isn't there. Can you maybe start substituting white for wheat? Annie's makes a good organic wheat mac n cheese that we really like (not all "health" food is good!) My buys actually like wheat bread over white. I use honey to substitute sugar and grind my own wheat. If you have the right tools, it's faster and easier than loading up the kids and going to the store for bread! I'm happy to share if anyone is interested in bread recipes and tricks. Just think, this "stick to it -ness" will really pay off if you can get him on your side as he gets older! Teenager years will be easy!!!
Another thought - have you had allergies tested? my bf had a similar problem and it turned out he had a big underlying problem. It's much better now, but there are other issues involved, so I don't know that it's the same case.

I would test him for systemic candida by doing the following: have him spit in a glass of water first thing in the morning, then let it sit for 15-30 minutes. Look at the contents of the glass. If there is cloudy particulate matter in the water, sunken clouds or wispy tails floating through the water, he has candida. Candida is a yeast that grows on sugars, which would explain why your son gravitates towards foods that break down as simple sugars.

If he has candida, try the product ThreeLac (available online) to clear his system.

Good luck,

K. Errigo
Touches the Sky Life Coaching
1-866-363-2924

Hi L.! I can relate - both my children have gone through extremely picky stages and I found there are two schools of thought on how to work around it. There's the hard core method, which my pediatrician suggested. Skipping a couple meals is not gonna kill your kid so you just offer the healthy stuff and don't offer anything else until they eat it. I used a moderate form of this with my oldest son, giving him two healthy options and telling him he could chose between them or chose not to eat at all. It was HIS choice, which made him feel more empowered. I always explained that there would be a treat at the end because that's the proper way to eat - healthy foods to give us energy and strength, and then it's ok to have a few sweets afterwards. (I think denying kids all sugar just makes them go nuts and crave it instead of just eating it at the proper times). This worked and still does with my boy. I found it was important to stand up to him on this issue so he understood that there are some rules in our house (and in life) that we follow because they're good for us. However, my daughter is still a toddler and is extremely stubborn when I try to stonewall her. She's younger, less easy to reason with. In her case, I have been using Jessica Seinfeld's new recipe book which encorporates purees of cauliflower, squash, broccoli and so on into foods like brownies, macaroni & cheese, muffins, etc. Because the veggies are completely blended up and cooked in your kid never knows they're in there and you don't have to worry about nutrition - in fact, she gives all the nutritional details with each recipe. I still offer my daughter the "real" veggies so she gets used to seeing them on her plate and (hopefully!) will someday try them. In the meantime, I am resting easy that she's getting the vitamins she needs. Good luck!

When my son wouldn't/won't eat, I give him an ensure to drink at meal time. It will provide some of the nutrients he is missing, he loves them, it's like a chocolate milk shake. Peanut butter is a staple in our home- for good or for bad- and with a side of gummy vites- I think we are good to go.
ALSO, I have found some chips( cant think of the name off hand) they are veggie chips and one serving equals a serving of veggies-they are really good and my son loves them. Good luck.
As the old addage goes- when he gets hungry- he will eat- just try to be sure the only options are healthy ones.

First, dont worry if he doesn't eat much for the day. I've heard kids really only need about 1/4 as much as you think they do. If he really gets hungry, he'll eat. However, I'm also not a big fan of force feeding kids. My suggestion is start trying to have him try the foods, to see if he likes them. You could try not giving him cookies during the day, and reward him for trying a new food with a cookie.
Also, there are a lot of ways to sneak veg and fruits into what hes already eating. You can add frozed squash to mac n cheese sauce, its yellow and melts into a cream so he'll never know. you can get veggie 'chicken' nuggets, much better for him. Add tofu to scrambled eggs, make sure to buy cereal that is fortified with vitamins. Use fresh squeezed OJ instead of bottled, if he eats mashed potatoes, you can add mashed califlower or parsnips to this... cook the rice in vegetable broth, or chicken broth for more protein. You can add shredded carrots to cupcakes, shredded zuchini to brownies or tomatoe sauce. Hope some of this helps.

There is a book out there by Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfelds wife) called Deceptively Delicious. With this you can make the desserts with added stuff like vegetables and fruit that have been puried, this way you can keep trying to offer, but he is getting something along with the treat. You might want to give it a try, there is not enough of the added item that he can tell, and so far, I think it seems to be working with my little boy who has had some of the same problems. Also this just might be how he is. Good luck!

Hi L., My prayers are with you, eating issues can be so frustrating! I am a mother of 4 and have a broad spectrum of eaters. My first thought as i read your plea was, does he/she have any allergies?? These can cause many different behavior issues as irratibility, beligerence, but can also cause strange eating habits of either feeling sick or craving certain foods. Have you ever checked into this??

Our past (and sometimes present) issues were definately power plays and i found that being tough and "mean" are what worked for me and as long as their weight held, missing a meal until their strong will broke worked best. We have always had the rule that you must eat everything on your plate of everything served and then you can get seconds of whatever they wanted that was on the table. If they didn't want to eat (my strongest willed child :)) they either had to eat as many bites as they were old, or they sat and chose not to eat at all and had to wait until the next meal. this helped with the peace and stress at the table when was our only time together as a family and we didn't want to fight. I hope this helps!

M. C

Wow. I'm very impressed with the advice of many moms here. My favorite advice is from Alicia S who said you should eat the same thing you feed your kid at the same time and at the same table. I second that advice. One thing that works for our family is our "Thank-You Bite" policy. And that is that each person must eat a Thank-You bite of each item served for dinner as a way of saying thank you to the chef. A Thank-You bite for a 2 year old is a teaspoon size. A Thank-You bite for a 4 year old is a scant tablespoon size. We emphasize how grateful we are for the food (and variety) that we have and always speak positively about it but we also lovingly stick to the rule that those who are unwilling to have a Thank-You bite are unable to eat the dessert. The Thank-You bite policy is not always easy but consistency has helped our children have a better dinner table manners as well as changed how we discuss our food. And 9 times out of 10 they find that the food they resisted trying really isn't so bad after all. Best of luck L.!

Hi L.! I have a picky eater too. Here's my may-seem-mean-but-it's-practical advice. DO NOT cater to his "list". Put the food you fix in front of him and if he wants to eat he'll eat it. Otherwise he'll go hungry. He won't starve! lol Kids will eat when they get hungry enough. Stop buying (or hide) the chips and cookies, at least for the time being, and get some healthy snacks: yogurt, fruit, granola bars, cheese and make it clear that THESE are his choices for snack. This is one issue where you must stand firm and win the battle, but in the long run you'll both benefit. Good luck!

Hello,
This scares me as your son is missing vital nutrients during his most precious years. A few things to try are to encourage him to make meals with you. If you make scrambled eggs have him throw in some spinach and cheese or perhaps make some muffins together and add flax seeds, pumpkin seeds or other very nutritions nuts. Make a pizza together and have him pick out a new "color" for an ingredient.
I have a 3 year old and we never fed him any processed foods, white foods or sugar (including juice) and we are just starting to have struggles with him eating this meals. However, when he helps mommy cook, he proudly eats his entire meal. Good Luck and keep us posted.

My now 22 year old son use to be that way. He hated fruit and vegetables. By the time he was 10, he could eat A LOT but nothing very healthy and he was "husky". :-) But, I kept offering healthy food and talking about why we need to eat healthy. When he got to be in his teens, he had a complete turn around and began to see a need to eat healthy. Now, at age 22, HE shares healthy recipes with me! He is lean and trim and very healthy.

Keep offering him the healthier foods, keep talking to him about putting good fuel in his body, but I would say don't get stressed about it.

my day care providers daughter ate nothing but plain hamburger buns for a whole month. dr said as long as shes eating something it was fine for a little while. my point? i too have a almost 4 year old who eat probably a smaller menu of food than yours. shes impossible to trick as well and when i make her try something she dont want to she too throws it up. ive decided not to force her to eat anything she dont want to because i think later it will make her pickier. you know, your son is getting at least some vitamins out of what he is eating. make sure what you buy is fortified with calcuim and vitamins, most stuff is now days. make the food pretty or get him involved in the cooking and shopping process of the food. let him make the salad, or pick the veggie. stuff youve probably already tried i know but just trying to help. if all else fails get him a multivitamin. not the answer but itll help him get what he needs. good luck and hope i helped.
J., mother of 2 beautiful little girls ages 3 months and almost 4 years.

I too had a picky eater...maybe taking him shopping with you (I am not saying you don't...I don't know your method) and allowing him to pick out some fruits or veggies that look interesting to him may help. Also have him help you with the cutting and decorating (for fun) of the fruit and veggies. Incorporate this with what the other moms say just put what you make in front of him and he will eventually eat. Hope this is helpful

Oh it is so good to hear there is another mother in my situation. However, it sounds like your list is longer than mine. Good Job!! My doctor suggested eliminating "everything sweet" (unfair to mom waaahh) and only offering the healthy. It is hard when I am not a healthy eater myself. But it is helping both of us. I was amazed when my daughters preschool teacher told me she tried apples, and celery with peanut butter. I sent a note requesting she not have the snack if it is cookies ect. But just keep trying I know how hard it is and sometimes I just want to give in just to see that she has some food in her system. But they will come to you when they are hungry. Good luck. I would be more than happy to share any good tips I get!

My four year old son also is extremely particular and always has been. I wonder if some of his hesitation comes from the fact that I did not have him tested for food allergies until he was almost two when he had a severe reaction to a small piece of cashew he found on the kitchen floor. We discovered he is allergic to tree nuts and dairy (I fed him dairy from the day he was born, starting with breast milk). Many, many foods (including bread) contain both tree nuts and milk. My
1 1/2 year old is allergic to eggs but will eat anything. I make sure they get their vitamins and limit their snacking to fruit, crackers, bread with honey etc. Some kids are (and always will be) selective. The trick is not turning yourself into a "short order cook" trying to please them all.

My philosophy has been, with my 2 1/2 yr old twins, if they don't know what it is, they don't ask for it. (They don't know what McDonald's is)-- but we have only ever fed them foods that are not processed, bleached, no MSG, no HFCS, and they eat veggies because it is real food, and all they know of food.

They won't crave "bad foods" if they don't have them to eat. Their bodies may take a few days or weeks to get the cravings for these foods out of their systems, and they can't get out and go shopping themselves, so they will have to eat what you give them to eat, and they will when they get hungry enough.

You also have to eat veggies and fruits too though- if you bring bad foods in the house for you, don't think they won't manipulate you into letting them have some! :)
When we want to eat fast food or something that I won't feed my toddlers, we eat it while they are napping.

Good luck! You will need it if you want to make a change in a child who has "never had a fruit or veggie in his life"--
(fresh peaches, pineapple, etc- great SWEET desserts/snacks!

As far as Jessica Seinfeld's book, I am a little leery of this when it isn't teaching kids to ENJOY and how to eat right for themselves. Maybe it is a good thing to some extent and some uses, but my hope is that kids will eat real foods and enjoy them- my daughter LOVES brussel sprouts and can't get enough of them. Of course, I cook them really soft and use plenty of butter. :)
Anyway, I am babbling on-- let us know what worked for you!

I also have started using Jessica Seinfeld's book, not everything in it is fantastic, but anything that will get veggies into my 2 year old I try. We go for spaghetti and she ate a whole bowl of vegetarian alphabet soup last week (not from the book). I just kept asking her what letter she wanted to eat and feeding her a bite full of veggies. I definatly agree with limiting what he gets and the they'll eat when they're hungry mentality, but I realize it's hard. (Tonight she only had some tortilla chips, but I only let her have like 5 and then nothing else.) Good luck!

Kids won't starve themselves.I did this with my first child
and ended up making two meal,one for him and one for my husband. With number 2,3,and 4,I would make a meal,if they did not eat,no snacks,the next meal was better.It may take some time,you just have to be consistant.Like I said and my doc.told me,they won"t starve. Mothe of 4 and grandmother of 3 and soon to be 6.

L. C: I have all kinds of advice---my nephew is exactly like this child! There is not a thing to do but hope and wait. I have seen this in action with my own sweet 4 year own nephew.........I had lots more advice until I realized that my sister's name is L. C., my nephew is 4, and we come from 7 kids.....silly me. Hi sister!! I know this little guy well and.....sorry...I cannot help!! Hope someone else can! Love, your sister...

L.- First check with your pediatrician. My second suggestion - put him back on baby food. Because only big boys get to eat adult food - which includes trying new things.
Another suggestion-milkshakes-when my little guy was picky I would take either Instant breakfast or other protein powder without alot of iron and make a big deal about making him a milkshake for breakfast and snacks. Over time we were able to get little to no ice cream in it - although good source of calcium - and switch him to Ensures. He still likes having his "milkshake" for breakfast and I am relieved that he is getting some proper nutrients.
Also, when I make pancakes at home I put in oatmeal and milk in addition to vanilla and chocolate chips. It makes them sweeter and he gets to help stir and add ingredients.
I also have come down h*** o* the gag or throw up reaction by telling him if he throws it up I will get him another one. And keep doing it, Be Firm and sit there - even all night - until he eats it. (I mean it could be one bite!) Go heavy on the praise! Good luck.

Do not offer foods from the "white" diet. If he lives on eggs, whole wheat toast, milk and oj alone, it would be better than filling up on junk and maybe if he feels real hunger, he'll be alittle bit more accepting of other foods. Most kids would rather eat chips and cookies if allowed! Don't allow it anymore. It's not okay to let kids get by on poor diets anymore than it's okay to let them play in the snow without coats. He can't go to the store or fix his own food, so it's your responsibility as a parent to do what's best for him. You have to follow thru and have more will power than your four year old son!

yes there not alot of stuff that your little one will eat but keep trying to get him to try new thing one thing a week what worked with my daughter was down right briving her you it four in a half green bean you will get a sucker i also went as far as making my own fruit snack - roll up all kids love fruit snack make your own .have you brought this up to the doctor are they worryed my doc told me kids won't starve them self but we as mother can't stand to see them go with out eating

I recommend getting the jessica seinfeld cook book, DECEPTIVELY DELICIOUS.. She has ALOT of recipes in her book that have veggies in them that are disquised. I am not kidding. I make brownies all the time pureed veggies. That is the key.. Puree veggies into 1 cup amounts and then add them into your food. I make my own chicken nuggets and I add pureed broccoli into the breading/egg mixture. You can not taste the veggies. She was on Orpah a few months ago, and I went to the website and got a bunch of her recipes. I have tired all of them and only not cared for 1.

Oprah did a show with Jerry Seinfeld's wife where she would puree veggies and disguise them in foods such as mac & cheese or potatoes and even homemade cookies because she was concerned her kids wouldn't eat their veggies. The purees were from fresh veggies like cauliflower or carrots and others. It might be something that would work so that he is getting his vitamins and veggies but he doesn't know it.

I definitely know where you are coming from. My daughter, at eight years of age, still is constantly fighting me on trying new foods. It was really difficult, but it came down to not having any food except healthy or raw veggies for snacking. Usually if you use ranch dressing, or some other, as dip that your child likes helps. It takes time, and is a bit scary to watch them not eat, but they will eventually eat. In the mean time keep chewy vitamins or drinks on hand. You may have already tried this, but stick to your guns and it does turn out alright.

Hey L.,

Count your blessings, my 2 yr old only eats chicken nuggets, chicken and stars soup, apples, yogurt and oatmeal. (No milk or bread!) I used to stress over it too, but he is healthy and happy. I give him a vitamin and call it good.

Sorry I'm no help, but at least you're not the only one in this boat!

M.