Seeking Advice and Support

Updated on August 22, 2007
K.S. asks from Indianapolis, IN
6 answers

I am the mother of a 13 year old and a one year old. I am very distressed, my 13 year old duaghter has tried our for team Cheerleading at her Middle School for the past two years. She tried out yesterday and was once again rejected. She practiced the routines and the cheers all through the summer months and really felt prepared. Yesterday, I gave her the usual speech that states,"There is always next year, and it is not personal, maybe they were looking for something different that you had to offer this year. Cheerleading is truly her passion and it is painful to stand by and watch her cry. We discussed other sports options but she is now afraid to try-out for fear of rejection. Does anyone know a good cheerleading coach that could help her? We live on the S.E. Side of Indianapolis. Also, can anyone offer any advice on how I can assist her in overcoming her fear of rejection.

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H.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would agree with several other moms in the suggestion of maybe trying club cheerleading. Clubs, dance studios and family athletic centers usually offer cheerleading and gymnastics and hip hop dance. Clubs usually do more competing than cheering for a particular sport. Also, go to some of the school games throughout the year and watch what the cheerleaders are doing (tumbling, dancing, cheering, jumps, partner stunts) then make sure these are some of the things she has exposure to at clubs or gymnastic classes. I would avoid the confrontation route of trying to figure out if the judging was "rigged". Unfortunately word will get around and you don't want the girls who did make the squad labeling your daughter as jealous or a spoil sport. You could talk to the coach and see if he/she has pointers, but make it casual and of an inquiring nature. You don't want to put them on a defense. Tell her she can still be friends with the cheerleaders. Don't be afraid to wish them "good luck at tonight's game". If she's sincere and friendly they'll start to know who she is. Cheerleading is a great deal about being outgoing.

Who knows maybe after being part of a club or dance she may want to stay there or tryout for the pom squad in high school. I cheered through Jr High and loved the dance part of it so instead was on the dance/pom squad in High School and at Purdue.

Just thoughts. Hope they help.

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B.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

There is a great place on Brookville Road - Family Fun & Fitness! They teach all ages of gymnastics & cheer! Look them up, they were really nice!

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L.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

K.,

How frustrating for your daughter and of course you but have you ever considered it may not be her fault at all and no matter how good she is it may not matter. Does it appear the same girls make the cheerleading team every year? Same coaches choose? I live in a smaller town but believe me politics are everywhere. I really don't know how to solve that problem either because confrontation might make it worse but it might help to explain to your daughter that she may not be getting a fair chance and to never give up. There will be many more opportunities and everything might change when she gets to high school. I would get her involved in gymnastics and any kind of dance classes that might interest her, she will be able to use all this experience for future try outs and who knows she may find she likes something else even better than cheerleading. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

talk to the coach & see if they have any pointers or ideas why she's not getting chosen?

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C.J.

answers from Indianapolis on

K.,
there are several other ways she can practice her passion. try looking around for dance classes or gymnastics. usually these places also offer some cheer/dance squads. she might love to do that even if it is not school-related.
good luck!
-C.

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L.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

My sister had the same issues in middle & high school too. Instead, she joined a competitive cheer squad, placed 4th in nationals, & received scholarships for cheering in college. My sister LOVED the competitive cheering. A lot is politics like many suggested, but there really isn't much you can do about that. But, perhaps you can find something where she can enjoy this activity.

I am also a middle school teacher. We had so many girls interested in cheering that they developed different squads for different sports. Then more girls could make the team. Perhaps you could mention a change like that to the principal for future years.

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