Seeking Advice - Irving, TX

My son was ALWAYS in trouble. He is the only kid I know that got suspended from 1st grade. He just couldn't sit still or listen. I took him to an ADHD specialist and they put him on medication when he was in 3rd grade. It made a tremendous difference. Don't get me wrong - he still got in trouble a lot, but his grades improved and he actually made some friends. Before the meds noone would play with him because he was such a troublemaker. He is now 22, and still quite a bit of a troublemaker :) You don't outgrow ADHD, you have to learn how to cope (we went to professional counseling for that)

Give the meds a try - it can be very helpful

Hi-
I'm doing nutrition response testing, and for ADHA children, it usually consists of pulling the metals out of the body, they recover with in a week. It is pretty amazing. You should bring him in so he doesn't have to be on medication. Call us. ###-###-####
Dr. J.

I have an 8 year old with ADHD. If it is true ADHD then he will not "outgrow" it. He will learn coping mechanisms for it but will not outgrow it. I was very much against meds. WE did the whole changet he diet thing. we did mediatation. we did a thing he put in his ears and listened to 3 times a day. we went to 4 shrinks. playgroups everything to avoid meds. Finally we put him on meds. It takes awhile to find the right one. If you are not happy witht his one try another one. Remeber it takes 3-4 weeks to see a difference in the meds.

First of all, no you don;t out grow ADHD, it is a life long issue that has to be addressed and dealt with. There are many ways to go about helping someone with this, if you don't it can cause serious problems down the road, bad grades, behavior issues in school which will lead to low self esteem and other things, so please don't ignore it, but there are ways to deal with it with out meds, there is behavior therapy and a doctor in Dallas that is doing work with natural amino acids that is working well. I am an adult with ADHD and I have two kids with it as well. please let me know if I can help in any way.

do you and your son's father share legal custody of your son? If so, who has final say? If he does, then there's not much you can do. If he has sole legal custody, there's not much you can do.

My brother has ADD and I worked for several years as a child case manager and I can tell you that it's not uncommon for kids to NOT outgrow their ADD/ADHD, depending on the severity. Don't you know adults who fidget, won't sit still, start things but never finish, jump from job to job due to boredom/lack of challenge, change hobbies yearly, etc, etc, etc. That's Adult ADD. It's alive and well.

While it's true that he may outgrow it, are you willing to suffer the consequences until then? Most kids who are properly treated for their ADD/ADHD (in whatever form that may take) do much better in school. Their social skills are better and they learn how to form relationships better. So, if you are waiting for him to outgrow it, you may be setting your son up to not reach his full potential in school (which could affect his ability to get into college and/or get a scholarship), and setting him up for a frustrating social life.

Medication can be a great thing or bad thing for kids with ADHD. There are different types and each have their own level of effectiveness on each individual child. There are also more unconventional treatments of ADD/ADHD. However, if your son lives with his dad, then it's really his decision on how he wants to handle the situation. Hopefully your son is being carefully monitored by a doctor. Those meds can sometimes take time to even out and get the doseage right. Your son should feel comfortable talking to his doctor about what he's feeling so the doctor can adjust if necessary.

Hopefully you guys can work together on this, but medication really is a good solution for most kids who are truly ADHD/ADD.

J., maybe instead of suggesting they take him off the medicine you can incourage them to have the dose altered or to try a different medication. There are so many choices available, there's no need to not feel normal on one of them. Also, I hope this doesn't sound rude, but if he's living with dad full time, it's dads decision to medicate or not medicate him. He's the one dealing with the trouble your son gets himself into daily. Your son would probably be happier and more willing to give the medicine a try if you could encourage him through it and let him know dad is trying everything he can to make life easier for him, not harder.

J.,
We had an ADD child you don't outgrow it. She is now 26 and still needs medication to focus and make better decisions. There are lots of good medications out there. You might need to keep switching until you find the right one. This is no different than if your son had diabetis or some other disease. You would put him on medicine. All the adults need to be on the same page. Go see his doctor and get the facts. Don't battle your husband over this.

J.,

My step daughter and all of her parents went through very similar situations. Her mom demanded having her on meds and we didn't want it at all. We did at one point let her do it. It seemed to help but not in all categories and there seemed to be issues as far as we were seeing things. Eventually, we took her to a doctor that did more than any others before. They checked to see if she was hypoglycemic as well as did brain scans while on medications to see if they were actually doing what they needed to do for her. She now is managed by DIET!!!!! It is VERY h*** o* everyone to a point - but no meds....good student...with structure....

So, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The parental right thing can play a role as well. My DH and his ex have 50-50 custody as well as equal decision making rights. So, that was good for our situation to a point. They disagreed on just about everything and still do. The bad part is that our daughter was the one most effected by the anger this all caused. NO GOOD. Just do your best - that's really all you can do. Check out hypeglycemic diets - that can make a difference. It's amazing to see what happends when you really look at the sugar intake of your child :)

I was a child with ADHD and my mother did not medicate me until I was in highschool. The medicine doesn't make you feel like yourself at all. It did help alot when I was in school and needed to concentrate on my school work. I would suggest only a low dose of the meds and only on school days! Eventually his concentration will be steady without the meds. Wish you the best! C..

My son is 8 and was diagnosed with ADHD just before school was out. We also did not want to go the medication route and the doctor agreed but wanted to see what the tests would show us. Well, the tests came back positive for ADHD and my son was off the scale for the hyperactivity so our physician recommended medication. He had some behavioral techniques lined up but told us that with this degree of hyperactivity, my son would need medications. So, we started on om Metadate CD (generic Ritalin) and it has been a blessing for him. His grades went from almost failing to A-B honor!! His behavior also settled down in class and the teacher told us she saw 100% improvement in him following directions, etc.

We only give our son his medication on school days and if we are going to an event that he will need to stay focused on. School was out in June and I just now got a refill for vacation things.

Perhaps you both need to talk to the physician and see what other medications are out there that will work with your son's degree of ADHD. There are some side effects that could cause bad behavior or being tired all the time. But again, you ALL need to sit down and discuss things especially if you are sharing custody with your son.

Pray on it as well as we will be praying with you.

J. S.

Unfortunately kids just don't "outgrow" ADHD - it's an ailment and quite often medication helps, but it can be a trial and error thing.....instead of fighting or disagreeing with those who are raising him it might be better to write down the things you notice and question and provide it for them to discuss with his doctors. If you don't know or attend the doctors visit's you're really just an outsider that sees him on occassion(no offense intended) and can only provide input and questions. Many of the drugs can have serious side effects and that is difficult but quite often they subside after awhile. The misbehaviour that comes with ADHD really can negatively affect their ability to function in school and disrupts the classroom - in addition to being difficult for him to deal with on his own. I hope you can have good conversations for his benefit and I will pray that he has the right doctors working for him.

J. I am a little late to wheigh in. I hate to hear people say parents medicate their children way to easily and it is over diagnosed . It is the hardest decision to make and I dont know of anyone who wants to put their child on medication. My son is 9 and is on meds we were on concerta and it was not a good match we are now on daytrauna patch and it seems to work great. We have tried diet management and therapy and do practice it along with the medication. It is not a magic pill it helps him focus and make better choices rather than to be so rash and impulsive. he is still responsible for the work and organization and it takes family support. I will tell you before the medication my sons self esteem was low and he would say how stupid he was. He has thanked me so many times for finding him help. I pray you will keep an open mind and maybe go to the doctor with your son and ex to explore other meds and options.

My son is 9 and also have ADHD. He makes very good grades too. I don't like the fact that he takes the medication but for right now, it helps him stay focused while in school.

I, too, believe that he will "outgrow" or learn to handle himself better as he grows up. Most disagree with that but they are entitled. I'm sure you'll get a lot of posts about that. I just don't believe my son will have to take this forever and I don't want him thinking that either.

My son used to take Concerta but it didn't do any good. He takes Vyvanse and it's WAY better. Much more improvement. I will say, that I do not give my son medication in the summer. I get the refills but he hasn't needed it AT ALL. I will start him on it again the week before school starts. The doctor agreed with me.

I think there are other alternatives like cutting out certain red dyes, etc but I'm not sure of all of them.

Hope this helps!

Our son has ADD and has been both on and off meds a couple of times. Currently he is off. The meds did seem to help him but he didn't like them and sometimes they gave him a tummy ache.

We've found a fantastic resource that has totally changed how we approach our son and has made both our lives and his life better. Here is a like: www.celebratecalm.com

I highly, highly recommend signing up for the newsletter. It's free and extremely helpful.

The Sides Family

ADHD is similar to depression - it's in the brain, it isn't visible, there's several different medications to treat it, different ones work for different people, and people who don't have it have NO IDEA what it feels like.

That being said, why sentence your son to running around with his brain bouncing off the wall if there is medication that will make it stay still?

Because he lives with his father and step mother, the way the normal decree goes, you have the right to say you don't like it, but ultimately they decide whether he's on it or not. I would suggest, since he "feels bad" on the medication, you use your right to talk to his doctor about the possibility of switching the med or the dosage.

You and his dad might also look into the Feingold diet - although again, most of it will rely on them.

S.

Medication helps them function and feel normal. Maybe it needs to be adjusted or changed. As long as he is diagnosed correctly meds really do help these kids. I know several adults that took meds as kids, but did not stay on them forever. Kids with adhd feel so abnormal and bad because they try really hard to behave but are unable to. My advice to you is to give them a chance, they don't change your child they help them to be successful.

I understand how you feel. I have joint custody of my oldest daughter and her father made the decision with the doctor to start her on Concerta when she was around the same age as your son. My daughter also complained of feeling groggy and detached, so we ALL talked to the doctor about adjusting the dose and getting her started with a teen counselor - RELIEF! Their little bodies are growing and changing constantly, so we had to adjust the dose a couple of times, but by 6 months after her 15th birthday we were able to completely wean her off the Concerta. Once the dose was right, my daughter was much happier and able to adjust to school and life better. *note about the Concerta* Once it is in their system, you cannot just stop the medicine - there is a weaning process - please talk to the doctor about it. Good luck.

Unfortunatly you can't control what his father does. But I know when the daycare wanted me to put my 4 year old on medication I refused. The Dr. told me to try taking most sugar out of his diet or balancing the sugars with protiens and carbs. And no sugar cerials or stuff like that for breakfast for sure. It has made a major improvement in his life. It's not always easy and your ex may not be willing to put the time into it.

Good luck!

H.

Check out this website http://www.addhealthandwellness.com/ it is fetured on KLTY. They may be able to help with your situation and your son might not need meds.

J.,

What a difficult situation. Do you think it may help to provide them with sceintific articles and expert research on the matter? This may help remove some of the parental conflict. You can present it as "this is what the experts say" rather than "this is what I say."

If so, try www.mercola.com. He has a lot of articles and info on these drugs. Here are some:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2007/1...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2005/0...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2005/0...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2006/0...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2002/0...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2003/1...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2001/0...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/0...

Perhaps you can also agree as part of your custody arrangement on a mutually acceptable physician. Dr. Deborah Bain, MD in Frisco treats a lot of ADD/ADHD with nutrition alone (80% of cases). It is a specialty of hers. She favors non drug treatment. www.healthykidspediatrics.com

Good luck!

I totally agree with your reluctance to put him on a lifetime of medication. Check out the book "No More Ritalin" for alternative ideas.

Also, improving his diet will definitely help with this condition. Try increasing his intake of fresh, raw fruits and veggies and decrease or eliminate processed (packaged) foods and fast foods.

I also recommend a whole food supplement which I believe in so much I decided to market it. Let me know if you'd like info on that.

Good luck!

M. Curtin
Wellness Coach

My neice has ADHD and her medicine made her a pleasant child to be around. I think maybe he is just not on a medicine that is working for him. As them to try a different one that will make him feel like himself and will help him control his impulses. I totally get that you don't want him on meds, I don't think I'd want my kids on meds either, but I've seen such a great response in my neice. ADHD was hurting her self esteem b/c she couldn't make friends easily and she stayed in trouble because she didn't make good choices. I'm hoping by giving her meds at this age (she's 6) she'll be able to turn the tide and improve her self esteem. I don't know your son, but am assuming he's having similar difficulties. If he lives with his dad, I think they need to make the decision because they see his behavior every day.

Hmm, what is your custody arrangement? I'd talk to a lawyer. It seems to me both parents must agree on medicating a child. Kids "stay" in trouble for a lot of reasons, mostly because they need attention or they are bored or don't have a teacher that will properly explain the work, or they are being bullied.... so many reasons.

Google Dr. Daniel Amen's website for some good information on ADHD and medication.
Make sure the school did not initiate this. A huge number of kids are being "diagnosed" by schools who have absolutely no business doing this and most of them do not need medication. Schools put themselves into a precarious legal position by telling parents their kids need medication.

I would demand at least two medical opinions and even then would take those with a grain of salt. The test for ADHD that is the most widely used, is woefully lacking and many neuropshychologists are unhappy with it but it is all they have. Most of these medications are new and children today are simply guinea pigs for the drug companies.

Involve a nutritionist. See if a food allergy could be causing problems.
Have him see a good family therapist. If he won't talk to you, he may talk to them about
"getting in trouble all the time".

Read and research so you have all the facts. There certainly are circumstances when medication is very helpful, but the issue today is that children who don't need it are being medicated and it is not for the childs benefit but for the benefit of busy distracted parents and teachers. This is you child, fight for what you know is the right thing for him.
Good luck.
I recommend the site I mentioned as well as The Out of Sync Child which deals with sensory integration issues that mimic ADHD ( and DO NOT require medication).
Kids these days are pushed to do too many things. A lot of the problems we are seeing are simply due to the fact that they eat poorly and do not get enough exercise. When we grew up, we climbed trees, rode bikes, played in the park all day until we were called home for dinner. We did not sit in front of computers and video games which are known to disrupt attention span. It is a struggle for kids to BE kids today. Rather than medicate them as an easy out, perhaps listen to them, find out what is bugging them, give them good nutritious food, plenty of exercise and time to just be a kid.

There are alternatives to medication. The Feingold diet is one. ADHD is on the autism spectrum. I'd look into biomedical treatment. Dr. Kenneth Bock's book Healing The New Childhood Epidemics:Autism, Asthma, ADHD, and Allergies will give you some good information. Look for it in the library. Your son isn't likely to outgrow ADHD.

My stepdaughter has ADD, and took Ritalin from about ages 8 until 11. When she was 11 I was homeschooling her and took her off the Ritalin. By that time it was making her very groggy and withdrawn. Her moods were not fun either. There was an immediate change when we stopped the Ritalin. I took her to Dr. Karen Birdy, in Fort Worth to see about alternative treatment. She did a urine test that we sent off to be checked for different levels. When that came back, they suggested a homeopathic remedy that worked really well for her, with no apparent side effects. I'd pass along Dr. Birdy's contact info, but we're about to go to Maine for vacation, so I'm scrambling a bit this morning. She should be easy to find in a google search, though.

Even if you do not agree with the medication, be sure to consult with his doctor if you decide to take him off of it.

The diet is also a factor. See the post given prior to mine (below).

I know it is hard, but please be understanding to the fact that they have to deal with it as well.

Blessings,

P. <><

Go to a clinical nutritionist! I agree with you 100%. People are so quick to medicate their kids. There is an awesome clinical nutritionist in Wichita Falls. Dr. Donna Smith - Advanced Clinical Nutrition. She's on Kemp and Ave K if you are in this area. Her number is ###-###-#### or email ____@____.com. Website is www.advancedclinicalnutrition.com. She vehemently does not believe there is such a thing as an incurable disease. She is one of a very few with her extensive background and training in nutritional therapies. I think we're lucky to have her here in this small town because I'm sure it's just a matter of time before someone like an Oprah discovers her and the she'll be totally out of reach for all us "little" people. And WAY too expensive for any of us. Call her. I KNOW she can help him! And all with whole food nutritional therapy, NO drugs! You may be right that he could outgrow this but if its very possible it's just a matter of his body being out of whack and nutrition is the key.

My son who is 7, was given the conners checklist. The school's counselor gave me the outcome and said it was my choice to go further with the information. He was still learning, but he has many problems. We decided to wait it out another year and redo the conners checklist in 2nd grade. His teacher said he is very smart, but he just cannot focus or stay in his seat. When the time comes, we will not hesitate to medicate him. My husband was diagnosed when he was younger and took ritlin. He started taking Straterra, but said he did not like it. He does not take any meds, but in my opinion, he could still use it. He does not like to sit still even now, he is very impulsive (my bills reflect it), and is extremly forgetfull. There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child, but remember what should be in there best interest. Oh and ADD/ADHD meds have come a very long way in the past years.

The best thing to do for a ADHD child is to be consistent. COnsistent with discipline, structure. Sticking to no and forcing rules. No sugary products...cookies, candy, sodas, fruit juices... plenty of water, fresh fruits/vegetables... Stay away from stimulation as in videos/violent type stuff.

Good luck.

All you can do is go to them calmly and provide them with journal articles, etc that support your opinion. But because they have custody, I assume it is their call. I am sorry. Good luck.

Go to www.advocare.com/0402179 and take a look at SPARK. My niece was on ADHD Med. My sister took her off the meds and put her on the SPARK. It helped her with everything from grades to attitude. If you need more info. I can find the results of the Texas Tech. study between Spark and ADHD meds.

I can only speak from my own experience - medication has been a godsend!! I recently put my 10yr old son on ritalin and he has flourished. My only regret is that I was so reluctact to do it earlier. I put undo pressure on him when his mind did not allow him the ability to concentrate and focus. My husband was originally opposed but has seen a marked difference in him since March. My husband relates my son's pill to his own need for coffee in the morning and after lunch to focus on his work. Please be open minded - it can be a great tool.

Hi J.,
I am a speech pathologist and work with many kids that have ADD and ADHD. There is a nonmedical program that has worked for many kids. It takes too long to explain so I'll just give you the website -- www.reiinstitute.com. It is a music therapy program that is custom made for your child. It is rather expensive ($500. range - one time fee for life) but I have seen good results. I used it with my child and really saw some changes. I think it is worth a try because it is comletely noninvasive and once you have the CD you have it forever. One last thing, the founder of the institute, Jeff Strong, is in it for the kids. He will do whatever it takes to see that you are satisfied with the results. Good luck!
J.

J.,
Several of my friends have used the Herbalife ShapeWorks programs (1x per day) that provide a child nutrition, along with N-R-G tables that contain guarana (2x per day), and Herbalifeline that has Omega-3 fatty acids. The combination of these really helped their children concentrate. If you want to try "all natural" this is the ticket!

You can read about these products on my website: derweightlossmall.com and order from the secure website. If you want to see some testimonals, check out: http://www.herbacall.com/newsletters/2005_10-2.htm.
Feel free to give me a call too--###-###-####.

D. Ricks
###-###-####

Hi, I have an 8 year old son with ADHD. The Dr. wanted to medicate him, but after reading about all of the kids on ADD meds that just died suddenly, I decided against it. I did some research and found out that Neurofeedback is just as.. if not more.. effective as medication. It is very interesting. The kids think they are playing a video game with their mind, but what they are doing is retraining their brain. We have an appointment at the Dallas Neurotherapy Center next month. They said they take medical insurance. You may want to check them out. I found out about them in Dallas Child magazine. Good luck. I understand what you are going through and I understand not wanting to risk medication for such a young child.

J., I also have a son who has ADHD and takes medicine too. He is ten years old too and he has been taking meds since he was about 4 yrs old. He started out with Ritelin and then went to Concerta. They both made him sick. They changed his meds again and started him on Adderall. It is wonderful. He has been on that for about three or four years now and he do not have any problems.
So maybe they should try getting his meds changed and make sure the dosage is not too high.

Concerned mother

My son is the same age. When he was in first grade people had convinced us that he was a problem child and needed to be but on medication. We tried it for a week. It changed his whole personality!! He makes good grades in school, he is in GT classes, but he still gets in trouble. He is always out of his seat and always talking! I am not concerned about that. He will out grow that. He is obviously able to pay enough attention to learn what is being taught or his grades wouldnt be so good. I also have a younger daughter with ADHA, she is 8. Her story is totally different. She is so far behind in her class because she can't focus. We tried concerta and it was awful. She lost a LOT of weight. Last school year we had her on a differnt medicine and it work very well for her. But we still don't like the idea of her taking it. I am looking for something natural that will help her. I hope you are able to get you son off of concerta! I have never seen that medicine do any child any good! Good Luck.

K.