Seeking Adivice for Bipolar Daughter

Ok, firstly, some of that could be teenage stuff. My teenager is trying to see how far he can push somedays with the defiance. Do you and your family have a good faith system? A good church group where your daughter felt like she fit in might help. Sometimes kids don't listen to parents but will listen to another adult that tells them the same thing. Make the rules plain and the consequences have to be soemthing that you can and will follow through with and make sure they are also spelled out. Thankfully my son isn't sexually active yet, but try at least to implement an open door policy so at least you two can talk openly about what is going on so you won't be hit in the face with it and not know. Talk to her about safety and how much you love her. You CAN stop her. If she continues to break the house rules, you may want to arrange a tour of a local detention home to let her know it isn't all a bed of roses. You may also want to stop by DHR and get a list of what is required of a parent (provision wise) by law and let her know if her behavior doesn't improve that her basics is all she will get. Food (which doesn't have to be food that she likes or agrees to eat), water, electricity. No cable, no computer, no cell phone, no TV, no radio, no mp3, no movies or CD's. When she tests you, you can rip out everything except the mattress she sleeps on and she will have to earn everything back. Sometimes with strong willed children it takes extreme measures. They can earn back game systems, etc. with behavior. I make my son go get his cell phone and hand it to me when his mouthing starts. I ask him when he starts to stop and think about what he is saying and ask himself if it is important enough to lose priviledges for. Hope this helps. I know it sounds extreme, but it works with a strong willed 14 yo son.

WOW... Hey A.,
You have already recieved a variety of advice. I am sorry for the struggles you have with your children but I am amazed that you remain grounded and thankful for them. I do believe that all children are blessings no matter how complicated they can be. As for assistance with medcations, which are very VERY needed for someone with a true bipolar diagnosis. This is a serious chemical imbalance or misfire of the brain synapses. And I speak as a retired mental health social worker who is personally for as little medication as is needed. But I do know to respect the opinions of the psychiatrist and neurologist who study this info and not the lay people. Oh and medications for Bipolar have come along way since the days of lithium and side effects of tardive dyskinesia. Besides we all take medications that have side effects if the side effects are not as severe as the initial problem. For those who are anti-medication.. I understand their point for alternative measures. But just know they are sometimes the only way and shuld be used when it comes to that.

But point blank... all issues including mental health require behavior modification/counseling appoitments and if severe enough medication management.

So to help with finances and the cost of meds.... please do not change your daughter's medications if they are working well.
You can contact the manufacture of the mediations be it Glaxo Smith Kline, Jansen or Pfizer. So find out the name of the pharmaceautical company and then contact them about their PAP .... Patient Assistance Program. They are more than willing to verify your income and help you stay on the same meds at a fraction of the cost or at no cost... also ask your doctor to do the paperwork as he should be aware of PAP... and see if the doctor can also give you free samples during the interim. May God Bless you and your family.
-MB

If it was my daughter, I would try everything possibly to cure her. And this may be something weird to you at first, but I go to a natural doctor. I started over the summer. I was diagnosed bipolar when I was a teenager and acted just like your daughter. Even after I got saved, I acted sometimes out of character. She has had me off my medication for the first time in my life for almost 4 months. She's got my ADHD son down to taking his medication only every 3 days in 2 visits. And trust me, we had to peel him off the ceiling without it daily. Just give her a call and hear what she has to say. She does a lot of energy work and balances your body nutritionally. She is a christian lady that has been a true blessing to our household. I know she can be to yours. God Bless.

Theocentric Foundation
Jana Rae Green, ND, DCh
4328 S. Beech Ave.
Broken Arrow, OK 74011
P.O. Box 924
Broken Arrow, OK 74013
###-###-####

I don't know how much help I can really be but I'm here for you if you'd like. I am bi-polar. Although I have been since my teens I wasn't diagnosed until I was 49. My son, who is 15, is also bipolar as well as other disorders. I, too, have problems with his behavior.

What medication is she on? I have a form for an assistance program with Abilify. I can fax, email or mail you a copy of this form if she uses Abilify. I am sure other companies besides Bristol-Meyers have similar programs where you can get her meds at a reduced cost or for free. You can ask your doctor for any type of programs available. Oh...I do have a website you can visit... www.needymeds.com

I hope this has been helpful. Good luck with your daughter. And, feel free to contact me if you need support.

W. Q

Hi A.,

My mother was bipolar and the meds ended up ruining her life and they are very dangerous! Using them for many years caused diabetes that then led to heart disease. She died at the age of 53!

I have since read about many natural treatments and vitamin mineral deficiencies. If I were in your shoes, I would research natural cures for bipolar before using meds. You can begin reseach on the internet.

God Bless!

There is a controversial debate going on regarding the role of medications for bipolar children. Please watch this very shocking and disturbing documentary on this issue - Frontline: The Medicated Child (2008). It is currently available on Netflix instant watch.

Or view almost the whole documentary on YouTube -
Part 1/6 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vcS72ql9Kw
Part 2/6 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acr8W__ca3Q
Part 3/6 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFjvnHtNWqQ
Part 4/6 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgGy9POD_I
Part 5/6 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB_d5qZa9Rc
Part 6/6 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC8nShY5Ets

More details on PBS
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/medicatedchild/

A., I'm not sure where you live, but you need to call Family Voices (888) 835-5669 or go on line to www.familyvoices.org and find out who has the Family to Family Health Information Center in your state. This is a federally funded health info center that helps families connect to resources for paying for medical bills, getting insurance, getting on medicaid, even if there are grants out there for your needs and agencies in your area that can help. Pharmaceutical companies also have programs to help pay for meds. If you can't get help at a local level, see if they can help you at the nat'l level. There is also NAMI, National Association on Mental Illness and there usually is a state chapter for NAMI. Call today and see who can help with the expenses. I'm not up on bipolar meds so I would be careful changing to generic. Also, ask them at your statelevel for information on Family Opportunity Act medicaid Buy-in Program. It's a cheap way to get her on Medicaid if you don't make the Medicaid eligibility requirements. If that's not possible, ask about your state's Children's Health Insurance Program through your state. There may be a premium, but it's not like keeping COBRA through work.

Please know that you are not alone. There are many many families out there going through the same thing. You may ask your F2FHIC about support groups for families in similar situations as well. Talking to someone who's walked your path is sometimes the best medicine for you Mom. Take care, you'll be in my prayers.

Not sure if you are in the Tulsa area or not, but Tulsa and Broken Arrow has a Family Resource Center where they do free counseling if the child is under 18. They have excellent counselors, who can not only help the child, but may be able to give you some tools to help you as a parent also. Good communication with her Dr. regarding medication is essential. Bipolar is a brain chemistry thing, which she cannot control, but she can help things a lot with her behavior and choices. I promise this is not fun for her either. She probably feels out of control all of the time and doesn't really understand why she does the things she does. I would check with her Dr. to see if there is any special funding available to help with her medication. Also do an internet search for some of the websites that are legitimate organizations for bipolar help. Maybe she can get some state help. When bipolar people cycle, their meds need to be adjusted. Through medication, counseling, and working with her Dr., and family support, she
can get stabilized and have a normal life. She will need a lot of support, but once she is stabilized, she may only cycle a few time a year, and with a few medication adjustments she can reduce her symptoms. Sometimes they need to add a medication for a few weeks. Each person is so individual in what they need. I would read eveything I can get my hands on and educate myself as much as possible. Also, she needs to understand, that their is hope for getting her life under control, but she needs to work with you and not against you. Even if she is bipolar, she needs boundaries. But you need tools. Ask her what you can do to help her and let her know you want to help her approach this in a positive way so that she has a productive life and that she can be happy. Unfortunately, she is making choices that will have long term consequences. Do what you can to minimize the negative influences in her life. She may make those choices anyway. Also, try spending some really positive time with her. Maybe do some kind of regular exercise with her. Walking is free and it's a great opportunity to talk things thru and build relationships and it releases natural endorphins in her body that will help to feel better. She needs to have some positive experiences with the family, not just negative. It is easy to get sucked in to the negative focus. Give her something positive to draw on. Have her pick out a fun activity for the family to do that does not cost anything. It is possible you may be able to get state funding for her meds. Not sure about that, but worth checking into. Best of luck. Don't give up. If you hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Get a copy of power of a praying parent. Apply it and It will help you to be strong as a parent. As far as the bipolar goes, get the family educated and on board with a plan of understanding and support, but do not allow yourselves to be manipulated. If you get the bipolar issue under control, things will improve greatly.

Please know that I have been where you are. My daughter was diagnosed when she was 15. She spent a couple of times in Laurette Hospital before she got on medicine that would help her. She is now on Abilify only and is doing very well. She recently had her first baby(she is 21)and is
becoming a very good mother.

The good news is that she will grow up (eventually) and most likely will be a fine young woman.

Ask you're doctor about samples of the medicine; that will help with the expense of the medicine. Also there are several websites that will help with the medicine at little or no expense.

Many of the pharmucetical companies have patient assistance programs. These programs will send free medications on your behalf to your primary care physician for your specific use. Approval is based on income and need. Please se website below:

http://www.mental-health-today.com/medsassist.htm

Other websites can be found by searching with key words such as: medication assistance, patient assistace or the actual drug name.

Hope this helps!

The first thing you can do is get on the internet and look up the drugs, find out who makes them and see if they offer a patient assistance program, most do, and you can also ask you doc for samples. Bi-polar is a difficult disease to deal with by itself, couple that with teenage angst and you have a hormonal mess. The best advice that I can give you is to keep trying a different combo of meds until you find one that works and don't give up on her, continue to be firm and make her comply as much as you can, if she is sexually active and you know this for sure put her on depot and have her vaccinated against HPV, this will help with her safety and prevent you from raising a grandchild. You are not to condone her sexual activity but at least she will be safe. The other thing is to seek support for yourself, alot of doctors know of support groups for parents dealing with bi-polar, you may be able to even find one yourself by searching the internet. I grew up with a bi-polar mom, she was lovely as long as she stayed on her meds, but once she was off it was awful. I can sympathize with you, when she was manic is it was unbearable to be around her. Some of the symptoms she is exhibiting now can be related to puberty as well, she won't always be this little hormonal monster, but she will always be your daughter, hang in there

where do you live? cause Medicaid has the chips in Texas where I am and I am sure you will meet the income level. cause she will be hard to live with and I and I heard some of them do bad things to other people life like mom and dad. so let me know where you live good luck

A.
I feel for you. My litte sister is bi polar and it has been very very hard. She is adopted and a middle child to boot. She is 43 now and has been married 5 times. We did not get her on meds at an early age because back then they didn't know what it was. We had her in therapy on and off for years but she was so convincing that she would have the therapists beleiving that it was my parents that had the problem. Be glad that she was diagnosed this early. I think as far as the meds go you might contact the maker and sometimes they are willing to let you have them either at a discount or in some cases free. You do not want her to be off of them. It gets worse as they get older so hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers. You will need them. If you have any questions or need to vent please feel free to contact me any time. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone that has been there.
K.

A.,

I will add:
You can take this advice from someone who was long ago diagnosed as bipolar...
After years of struggling, being suicidal one day, and jubilant the next, I found out I had a thyroid problem.
80% of mental health patients (at last poll taken) are now believed to have thyroid imbalances. Also in the family of problems is diabetes, adrenal imbalances, pituitary, etc. They are all interrelated....

And all these things cause BLOOD SUGAR issues...that's why the ups and downs and irrational behavior. Blood sugar being off makes people--I'm sorry, there's no better word...but CRAZY. I was just nuts.
I couldn't think, and I was SOOOOOO angry. And I never knew why. I felt like I was going to explode all the time. It was miserable for me and everyone else.

The meds will probably help the symptoms she is experiencing. But bipolar is not a disease, but a symptom..... The meds can never get rid of the underlying issues which are causing the bipolar. I am not against pharma completely because if it weren't for them (before I found out about the thyroid thing) I would probablay have done away with myself.
My advice? Use it if you have to for now, and get it any way you can...but find a doc who will help you search for what is truly wrong, underneath.
Because something is definitely amiss with your daughter.

Another thought is--it could be more than just physical, and usually is. We are body, mind, and spirit. We must treat all three to be well. (I had to.)

Of course your children are wonderful. I know you love them very much. I would really like to try and counsel you about this situation. Can you private message me??
I might need more details in order to properly advise you.
Blessings,
H.

My brother was diagnosed bipolar when he was pretty young. The best way to get meds for free or on a sliding scale is to go down to Mobile Mental Health. She'll have to she a doctor there as often as they want, but you'll be able to afford the meds. My brother has actually been hospitalized three times. I hope it never comes to that with your family, but when a child gets too out of control, sometimes it needs to be done. If you need directions to get to Mobile Mental Health, just let me know.

Kim B

I have worked in the mental health profession for over 20 years. You might also want to get with a professional and discuss the trauma issues she is dealing with related to her dad being murdered. We are finding many people misdiagnosed because their behavior mimics some disorders but is actually related to unresolved trauma. Family & Children's Services has some good therapists and work on a sliding scale fee. Please don't just think medication (although important) will fix it. I wish you well.

Ask your doctor about the programs where you can get free meds from the company that makes the meds. Glaxo-Smith-Kline and several other companies have programs set up where if you're doctor refers you, you can get meds for free or for $5 a month. I had to use this system when I was without insurance.

There is also a website bpkids.org that can offer advice on kids with bipolar disorder.

Look into neurofeedback therapy. Not just the CDs, but actual therapy, which uses the "active" form of neurofeedback. Far cheaper than $500/mo., works beautifully, is often covered by insurance (at least if it is categorized as mood therapy or psychological therapy), creates no or few side effects (and even those are often harmless and temporary) and she probably won't have to be on it for life.

Good luck!

L.

Hi A.,
I would love to talk to you. I have an 11yr.old son who has not yet given the Bi-Polar diagnosis , but I know it's a matter of time. We are getting ready to try Depakote. Cameron has many many mood swings throughout the day, and you never know what is going to set him off. What kind of meds is your daughter on ?

K. D.

A.,
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your battle to understand Bi-Polar dissorder.I know that when I say that you are lucky to have your daughter diagonosed at such a young age may not come as a comfort to you.I speak for myself when I say this because as an adult that suffers from Bi-Polar dissorder(not diganosed until my 20's) I can relate to you and your daughter as well. The Most immportant thing that you can do for your child is keep her on her meds.Do understand that at times her doctor my have to adjust her meds and it my take alot of trials before they find the combo that works for her.Don't give up!I do understand about the cost of the medication,here are a few ideas about how you might can get some help on that end. At our local mental health office(hopefully at yours to) there are forms that you can fill out to apply for payment assistance programs,also you can get a form that you send in directly to the pharmacudical companies that help you get her meds directly from them. It costs about 5bucks to apply to each company and depending on your income you could get approved to recive her meds for free.It never hurts to ask for free samples until something comes through for you.At this time there is no cure for Bi-Polar dissorder,however it is treatable.Try to take it all one day at a time. Wishing you all the Best.
C. M

i am also bi-polar. and instead of bucking your daughter, try some time when she is in a calm mood and chatting with her. and also talk to a counceling and a specialist doctor. cause differant meds work for differant people. cause everyone is differant. they may have only put her on a anti=depressant and that dont work alone. she is also going through the teen years of all kinds of changes in her life. but she also may need a med that is just for bi-polar. i also had addhd. i think that is how you say it. the man that was murdered, was that her real dad? i ask cause also she maybe suffering anger issues inside of her self. and she may not realize that. this may sound crude but if worse come to worse, you can get a court order to get her the needed help. she may be suffering from alot of things inside and teens dont talk to thier adult authorities. good luck and if can let me know how it turns out and if i think of something else or you have other questions, please respond back to me. cc in okla.