Screams All Day

Updated on January 16, 2009
E.B. asks from Muncie, IN
22 answers

I have a 10 month old and she literlly screams all day long. The only time she isn't screaming is when she is eating or being held!
I have never been the type to just sit around and hold or carry around my kids, so this is driving me nuts!
If I am out of her sight or reach for even a few seconds she is screaming like she is hurt or something.
What can I do to make her the "Happy" baby she was a few months ago, before this ever started?

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C.B.

answers from Canton on

Jaxon will be 1 on Feb 1... he just started this same thing last month or so... I think its seperation anxiety.... but even if thats not what it is, remember that it IS only a phase and eventually (sometimes not as quickly as we would like it to) it does pass.
As an elderly friend of my family says "It came to PASS, not stay!"

hang in there!

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P.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Could it be her formula or food. A client of mine described the same thing and after changing formulas the child is much happier. You might try a non-dairy based formula or one that the proteins are already broken down. Good luck.

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Kids will only do behaviors that they are allowed to do. So, I believe every kid screams at some point, my sisters' did for months when they were young. Mine did two, but each of my kids only did it a couple of times. When they would first scream, I would bend over to get eye level and sternly say "No Screaming!" If they did it again, I lightly patted their mouth. Hard enough to create an element of surprise, soft enough to not be "hitting them in the face", then I would at the same time say "Mommy said NO screaming". I did this each time they screamed, which was only a few times, and they learned it wasn't acceptable and they stopped. Now, to show the other side of this one....my sister was never one to discipline the kids very much. She mainly waited until they were way out of control, and then would get mad and say "STOP IT!!!" Because of this, the screaming was absolutely difficult to be around. We would be going through the mall and her kids would be SCREAMING! Just for FUN!! It was ridiculous!! People were looking, I was having trouble concentrating well enough to carry on conversations, it was awful. So at one point, very early on, I said, "Ang, aren't you going to stop him?" She said "It's no use, he'll just keep on doing it" So, I said "not if I can help it" and I stopped the stroller, went around to the front of it and knelt down. I said "Aaron, NO SCREAMING" and the first time he did it after that, I leaned over the stroller and bopped him on the mouth and said "Aaron, NO" Soon, he stopped doing it, although he gave his mother a very pouty and offended look since he wasn't used to not getting his way. You just have to set boundaries and stick to them. Otherwise, the kids end up running the house.

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R.B.

answers from Toledo on

Without any other info to go on, I could only guess what might be causing the screaming. Dr. Sears has written many books decribing the "high needs child". (Read "Attachment Parenting".) I have one of these children myself. I always carried her in a sling or Baby Bijorn front carrier. There are other carrier options for wearing your baby on both the front and back. This way you can do your chores, go for walks, even exercise while carrying your baby. It sounds like she needs the comfort and security of being close to you right now, and this may help. Good luck!

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E.S.

answers from Toledo on

your baby is communicating a need, not trying to inconvenience you. She is too young to know that you still exist when you leave the room and at this age it's normal to have a jump in separation anxiety. You need to reassure her by holding her and talking to her a little when she does this. if you need to leave the room for a short time, keep talking to her (about anything!) so she knows you haven't gone away completely. Just leaving her alone and letting her scream will only make her anxiety worse. Give her a little time. This will subside when she is ready, usually around a year.

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M.C.

answers from Youngstown on

I just had to say that I can't believe someone told you to pop her in the mouth! She is only 10 months old and she is just trying to communicate with you. Either hitting her or laying her down and refusing to pick her up is cruel in my opinion. She just wants to be close to you. Why do we have children if we are just going to push them away from us while they are still babies?

My daughter (6 months old) will scream everytime I leave the room. And she wants to be carried all the time. I can't blame her. This world is big and scary to a tiny baby! So I carry her and I take her with me when I leave the room. It keeps her (and me) happy and feeling secure. Once she is old enough to be reasoned with is the time to explain that I am coming back and she is ok if I leave for a minute. You can't explain that to a 6 month old or a 10 month old. Hang in there. She will outgrow this as will mine. Good luck to you!

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Lots of good advice here, but I want to address one thing that I haven't seen, and that's your "screaming baby". Your baby is mirroring your stress. You are at your wit's end, and she can feel it, and it's affecting her feeling of security. You need to step back and ask yourself,"What CAN"T wait?" Take care of those things, and let everything else go for awhile. You can call it prioritizing or simplifying or whatever you want, but it takes away that anxiety about all the things swirling around you that you think you have to do. Both your letters are connected, so solving one problem will solve the other. Give yourself permission to let some things go, and you will feel the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders. Good luck.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Sounds allot like one of my nephews. He had fluid on the brain and he was about that age when it got really bad it also caused him to regress in development. He would scream if he did not have a bottle or spoon in his mouth. When he got full he would throw and and then start screaming again for mre. They had to put a shunt in to drain the fluid it was causing pressure.Also he would stiffen up if you carried him up or down the steps. Balance issue from the fluid.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

She's at the age where separation anxiety can hit. Get yourself a carrier like an Ergo or a Mai Tai and put her on your back and carry on as usual! :)
Someone said "Crying never hurt anyone" and that's true. However, the reason she's crying may be hurting her. Making a child scream for an hour only teaches her that you aren't there when she needs you. There are more constructive ways to deal with her.

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J.M.

answers from Cleveland on

i second the advice that you may just have a high needs baby that is going through seperation anxiety. i would check out the dr. sears website and invest in a good carrier that you can use to wear your baby around the house while doing chores. this is what i did and my now 16 month old is a very well adjusted happy toddler and can play for long periods entertaining herself. if you follow some of the other cruel suggestions you may only make the problem worse.

as for hitting a 10 month old in the mouth-i am so deeply appalled and disturbed that i have no words. poor babies. just plain disguting.

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M.F.

answers from Columbus on

Hi there,

I have a 15 y/o, 3y/o, and 2y/o. My daughter is the oldest and was the easiest to take care of, she barely cried and always smiled. My 3y/o on the other hand has cried since birth. It sounds like your little one just started and I have to agree with a few of the other moms she may be experiencing separation anxiety, it's really common. You can start taking her to play groups to help her get used to being around others and to feel comfortable if you have to step away. Another thing is always look her in the face while speaking to her in a soft tone, that should help her feel secure and allow her to calm down. One thing that always works for my kids is try to keep a few of her favorite snacks available, she may be a little hungry (my kids eat alot and have tons of energy). But the most important advice I can give you is to take a few minutes each day to yourself and enjoy the quiet, (trust me it's priceless). Your little angel will be back to herself in a few months!

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J.H.

answers from Columbus on

Why is she screaming? By 10 months, you should be able to decipher between different cries...you didn't mention, are you sure it isn't pain related? I have a 1 year old who at that age began eating different foods and more than one has caused gas pains/constipation that led to some very unhappy days. If it is a comfort thing, then maybe a special doll or blanket can substitute for mommy. Good luck!

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R.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Some babies are just 'high need' babies. Dr. William Sears has some wonderful advice on this subject. Check out his website or one of his many books at your local library. Your other children may have been happy not being held all the time, but this little one is not. Try wearing her in a sling while you go about your day. There are many to choose from and it boils down to which ever one feels right to you. Also, maybe your little one is teething or having tummy problems. If it is her tummy, the movement you give her in picking her up may be just enough to unlodge a gas bubble. Hang in there, it won't last forever and they grow up way to fast! = ) R.

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M.Q.

answers from Indianapolis on

As you know after having 3 other kids- babies cry and scream to comminucate. They can't talk and say "Mom, my tummy really hurts after I have a bottle- could you try soy?" Instead, they cry and scream. Ordering them to "Stop!" is like saying "Don't communicate with me!". Besides, when you are upset enough to cry, if someone were to pop you on the mouth and say "Stop crying!", would you be able to just turn it off? I wouldn't. That would make me more upset. Anyway, I think you need to consider food and formula as the culprit. Have you takeh her to the dr. to rule out ear infection, etc? And, just keep reminding yourself- "This too shall pass."

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N.S.

answers from Columbus on

It's probably separation anxiety. My son and I went through this when he was abt 9 months old. I don't remember how long it lasted but it did pass. I just made sure that I played with him on the floor a lot (with his toys) until we got to the point that he was okay if I just watched and then I started inching away until I was able to get up and leave him. Hang in there. It can be pretty unnerving to go through this.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi, E.! Do you think there is a possiblity that she is cutting some teeth? Maybe her molars are coming through. My daughter just went through that, and after her molars popped through, she was fine. I know she's only 10 months, but it happened to us! Good luck and keep your sanity!

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D.N.

answers from Columbus on

Make sure she's fed, and dry. Give her a hug and kiss, put her in her crib, if she cries it's ok. Just let her cry it out. Check on her time to time, but don't let her see you. Leave her in there for a while, one hour or so, if she's still crying take her up and sat with her for a while, when you have to put her down to do something, put her back in her crib. Crying never really hurt anyone. soon, she will get the concept, that if she goes to her crib, it's not going to do her any good to cry for no reason, because she knows that Mommy's done figured her out. It works...

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D.G.

answers from Columbus on

I say take her to a chiropractor she is probably misaligned.

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Time to look back and figure out what happened when this all started. Something shook the boat and rocked her secure world.
Did something happen to her while you were out of the room and out of sight? Sounds like it might have.
Other than that you just have to put her down and work in the same room she is in and frankly put in some ear plugs and let her scream some of it out. Don't pick her up if you know there is nothing wrong. Stop to pat her back and speak to her, just don't pick her up.
My prayers are with you all.

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T.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

She might have developed an alergy, most commonly milk. Take a recent poopy diaper to your Pediatrician, and they can do a hemocult. They test the for blood in the stool, a sign of a food alergy. An alergy to milk (actually a cow's milk protein)is more common that you might think. . .developing it at 10 months is, but the specialist I saw for my son said he had a handful of patients that were over 6 months old. Usually milk is the first suspect, then soy, then egg, wheat, pork, etc.

Best wishes

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N.M.

answers from Muncie on

Was there something that happend a few months back to your 10 month old that has her scared to be left alone?

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K.C.

answers from Columbus on

It could just be a bout of separation anxiety setting in. Does she tend to do this whenever you are out of her eyesight, or when you leave a room. Does she tend to "shy" away from strangers when out in a store and not want to be social? I think it will pass. Just use your voice to reassure her when you leave the room and talk her through what you are doing. In her little world, she thinks that you have left her and are not returning. maybe if she can hear your voice, this may give her some comfort and you don't have to carry her around on your hip all day! It could also be teething...

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