Screaming During Playdates

I don't know about normal... but I would DEFinitely limit her playdates to the time that prevents her from having a meltdown. If that means 50 minutes, so be it.. or stop having them altogether for awhile if limiting the time doesn't work for you.

imho, that is the biggest reason for preschool (not academics)... helping the kids learn to adjust to being and behaving in social situations and how to handle not always being the center of the universe. How to wait their turns and how to share and how to have delayed gratification. All things they should have been learning at home all along, to be sure, but also things that they don't usually have to SUSTAIN for long periods of time at home.

Give her a break from it. Then give it a go while limiting the duration of the playdate. Slowly, as she has success, increase the time in small increments. Be sure you discuss this with the other mom beforehand.

She's letting you know that she's reached her limit and it's very typical for a preschool aged child to have a limited tolerance for others, especially when sharing is involved.

You may want to schedule her next playdate for 30-45 minutes and then have the kids have lunch before heading home. That way they have "play time" and some "down time" before the date ends.

Yep, 1 hour is all she needs for now. In time you can increase it.

I think you answered your own question and the playdates should be limited to her time frame of patience.

She's shown you her limits so go with that and limit the time. But also, are her playdates mostly "Here's X, you two go play now"? That's fine for a while as you know, but at this age they still can use a little direction once the self-directed play runs out of steam and they start to argue. Try a play date where they play for a while but then you (and maybe the other parent if they're there with you) move them on to a specific activity with some oversight, like a craft they can do in parallel rather than one where they have to share everything, or a very simple game (board game or active game like throwing beanbags at a target etc.) appropriate for their age. You will have to play the game with them at first, and keep it short, but it will build their skill at taking turns and cheering each other on, and give them some directed play rather than having them share whatever toys are in their hands.

And I agree with the person who posted that preschool is one way to help kids develop the social skills and attenion span to make play more cooperative for longer periods -- absolutely vital skills before they go to kindergarten. Remember, preschool doesn't mean five days a week all day; it can be as little as a couple of half-days a week. But a good preschool teacher and setting can really help kids mature socially between about three and five. No, I'm not a teacher, just a believer!

Yes, limit it to one hour for now, even 45 minutes, and you can invite the Mom to stay for coffee, etc. if you have some friend who are open to this. Also, try to meet on "neutral ground" such as a park, so your child isn't so possessive over territory and things. Give her control before getting together over what things will be shared, and what special things will be put away. Some kinds of toys are easier to share than others, plan to have the easier ones available when meeting for a playdate.

Is she in preschool? If she is, how does she handle that?

I would be wary of putting her in kindergarten too early due to her immaturity. If you don't have her in preschool, consider finding a small one to put her in so that she can learn to handle being with others. She cannot continue to scream around other children when she gets to kindergarten.

Good luck,
Dawn