School Open House/ Curriculum Night

My sons school didnt allow children in the classroom last night for his. They did however offer 2 sessions, which is how both my DH and I went. Hope you can work something out! Maybe ask another parent?

I guess I am the odd ball out! In the past there have always been a few parents that needed to bring their kids. I was COMPLETELY OK with that! I find it strange they have such a "strict" rule about that to be honest. I haven't brought my daughter every time but yes there has been once or twice I had to bring her. Oh well! and no I would not look on facebook or ask a neighbor to keep my daughter. I am very picky about who watches my daughter. Pretty much family only.

I find a lot of functions don't allow kids. With 5 tiny ones it's a problem. I don't have much advice. I had to bring them all to the first grade reading screening for my one kid. It was awful. They shouldn't allow kids there, lol. But then what would we all do?

It's tough.

My son is only 4, but I've helped raised my niece and am a guardian. I have gone to all her open houses. I HATE when parents bring their kids. Even the good ones are disruptive and cause interruptions. We are there a good 1-3 hours, and kids are not adults. They don't care about the curriculum, procedure, and plans. They get bored. Kids get annoying when they get bored. Open house is simply not a place for kids, and rules like this are usually born out of necessity. They probably created the rule, because so many kids were causing so many interruptions.

I agree with the rule. I've never met a parent (even a single parent) that didn't know ONE person who could help them out a few hours...once in a blue moon.

I'm with the school on this one - kids at at busy night like this are distracting. Rather than complain to the district, talk to whoever is in charge of organizing the evening about perhaps getting a teenager to baby-sit at the school for next year. At our schools, the principal chooses the dates and then works with the PTA on refreshments, etc.so the PTA might be the right channel for suggesting a baby-sitting service that evening. The baby-sitter(s) could either do it as community service, or they could get paid either by the parents (say $5 per child for the evening) or the PTA. The school would need to have a space to accommodate the kids of course - perhaps a classroom that's not being used that night or a part of the cafeteria or gymnasium.

For this year...I would find the $10-20 you would need to hire a sitter for an hour or two. This is an important night.

I think it is reasonable, it is not a playgroup, it is school. I was a single mom for four years and I always paid sitters if I needed to be at a meeting.

Those meetings are no more than a couple hours, how much do you pay sitters that you can't afford a couple hours? I could do it as a single mom so....
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Oh and nothing pissed me off more than when I was paying for a sitter and someone brought their herd of kids with them. I did without to follow the rules and now I have to put up with someone else's kids? Rude.

Sounds like you need to start reaching out. Get to know your neighbors, and get to know some fellow moms. See if you can find a babysitting co-op (no cost, you trade babysitting with other parents.)
It's important to have people you can trust leaving your kids with. What if you had to take your husband to the ER one night, or had some other kind of emergency?
Please don't complain to the district. You can't expect the teachers to have a professional meeting with a group of parents with young children running around the room. What you COULD do is join the parent's club and arrange for babysitting at the next adult school function. High school students are often looking for community service hours. This is what they did at our elementary school, but of course it takes a parent to step up and organize it. Since you are dissatisfied with the current system YOU could be that parent. Call the local high school and go from there.

There has to be some way to get a sitter, because this is an important night. I agree with the others that it's inappropriate to complain to the district.

Instead, it's time to find babysitting resources. Find a competent teen, they don't cost all that much. You really can't even afford $10-15? You haven't made friends as a teacher?

It's time to connect more, or it's going to be a long, tough, lonely road. Join a mother's group or something.

No kids at curriculum night. You of all people should understand this. You are heading into many situations where kids cannot come, so it might be worthwhile the find a high school kid to sit. Meet the teacher day is for kids.
There are times kids need to stay home. I raised four kids with a husband who worked nights so I understand. However, I did manage to get to school when I had to. You must have a friend to help out. If you do not, you might want to start making some friends or else it will be a very quiet, lonely life.

Oh and I would not complain. School is being very reasonable.

Sorry, but you need to find a solution.

Do you have a "Teacher Friend" that could watch your children for a few hours that night? Maybe one of their teenage children that could babysit?

As you said, this is a gifted program. They do things differently for a reason. They have a lot of information that parents need to be aware of. With higher exp[expectations from the entire family.

Problem solve.. That is what your child is going to also be expected to do through this program. Be prepared for lots of things to be different and for you and your husband to get on board.

The schools in our neighborhood are all rated Excellent and Superior schools. Not one of these schools allowed young children at back to school nights.

Mainly because there was just not enough room.. Usually we had over 80% attendance from parents at our Back to school nights.. May explain the success of these schools.

IF you are willing, You could organize with a group of other parents some babysitting to be available for future meetings. Look at the schedule for future meetings for the year and buddy up with other parents in the same predicament. See if you can plan for these things in the future. Ask established parents to explain the future scheduled meetings and what kind of care you will need, or have your husband plan to take off those nights, or go in later, or only work part of a shift.

At the elementary level here, one of the teachers, along with the PTA and the help of former students that are high school age, do provide some care during these nights. There is no fee and the student volunteers, receive community hours..

They meet in one of the empty classes. They play games, they watch a video..

I know this is all new and feels stressful, but you can figure this out.

I used to remind parents that would balk at these higher expectations. We do this, because our children deserve the best practices. These meeting are not scheduled to make your life harder, they are made to give you the tools to help your child exceed expectations You are a partner in your child's education. It will take extra time and effort for when they are gifted and talented, but believe me it is worth it.

Ask the PTA President if they know of any students that babysit. I used to be the one that kept a list of babysitters every year. They were usually former students from these same schools. When our daughter moved up to the next school, I found another parent to take over..

Congratulation to your son. He is going to soar at this school.

I have never heard of parents bringing their kids to open house. Even growing up, I was never allowed to go with my parents. I have never been allowed to bring my kids with me to a back to school night. You might need to look around for a sitter. Are there any high school kids in your neighborhood?

It's common - because the parents and teachers need to talk and the kids get bored and start to act out - and it's even worse when older and younger siblings tag along.

Maybe your husband could take off work that night or go to work late soon as you get home from the open house?
There are going to be times when you need a sitter - it's just part of having kids.
Check out this site:
http://www.sittercity.com/babysitters/fl/boca-raton.html
You should be able to find a short notice sitter for under $10 per hr.
For an hour or two, that would be less than $20.

If none of that works, try calling the school to ask for ideas about what you could do so you don't miss this.
Maybe you and your son's teacher could have a parent/teacher conference over the phone.

Aren't there any friends or neighbors that can watch your kids for a few hours? Maybe an exchange of babysitting services. They watch your two tonight and you can watch theirs some time in the near future.

Personally, I do not like it when parents bring their kids to Curriculum Night. The kids are frequently distracting.

If you can't go, email the teacher and ask that she send the materials home with your son.

I would go through your facebook page and or your email list and find someone who has kids and call and ask if the 2 of you could do a trade off of sitting. its hard to believe that in the 6+ years of your sons life that you have never had to have a sitter before.

There is a lot of information handed out and discussed at curriculum night being a teacher you would know that. And also how hard it is for a teacher to discuss this with a bunch of kids messing around. and yes your son is probably perfect and the 2 year old wouldn't make a sound. but heres the thing. they are not perfect and this would be the one night the 2 year old couldn't be still and the 6 year old will have to go show you this that and the other. there will be a parent night for your son to show you every thing.

Going to open house / curriculum night is not how you be involved in your child's education. It is making sure he does homework, it is reading with and too him and making sure he has supper and sleep. It sounds like your child has a great opportunity at this school. Your not going to want to get off on the wrong foot and be the mom everyone goes home talking about because her kids wouldn't sit down and shut up at the meeting.

There are a lot of ways to find help with sitters. Trade, join a moms group, call your local ywca. Check with your neighbors and see if they would trade a day.

If you are a teacher out of curiosity what are you doing with your kids on the curriculum night at the school you teach at?

You need a stronger support system. Make friends with a neighbor, talk to other parents who will be attending the same open house, can you all share a sitter or is there a teenage sibling that could watch a few kids?

I would never have survived my kids little years without friends and family. The single biggest help at times like your describing were are dear neighbors. Just a young family we bonded with when they moved next door. We traded kids constantly, a win-win for sure.

How focused could you possibly be listening to a teacher give a talk about curriculum while keeping an eye on a six and two year old? Sorry, but small children are too much of a distraction. Our curriculum nights include a meeting in the classrooms with the teacher followed by an overall presentation by the principal in the gymnasium. Both would be extremely boring for kids. As a parent, I don't want the distraction of someone's child running around while I'm trying to listen.

Usually, our open house nights are a few hours, but all you really need is O. hour.
Is there another parent that you can trade child care with for an hour?

It is a difficult situation you are in. I understand. But it is sooooo distracting to the staff and parents when children are present.

Please,please don't complain to the district or the school. The school/district is not there to support all the various family situations. They are there to educate children in a safe environment. They are not babysitters.

Instead of complaining...use that time and energy to start reaching out within your community. I personally have NO family in the area. But, I have neighbors, friends not at the same school and church friends. It is my responsibility to provide a support network for my family...for situations like this.

It is hard for me to believe that you have no one that would help you out in this pinch. Or is it that you don't want to ask anyone? I know it is uncomfortable to ask for help...but that is what friends are for. "Hey..can you watch my two little ones for an hour while I attend Curriculum Night? Then I can watch yours whenever your Open House is...and throw in a plate of brownies." After an hour then you bail on the Open House...sometimes they drone on. Grab the paperwork and read it once you get home and kids are in bed.

After trying to find a friend to watch your kiddos for the hour then I have another suggestion. Another option is to email the teacher. Let him/her know your dilemma and ask for a short email to give an overview of the Open House. Or maybe the teacher could meet with you for a short period of time when your husband is home or call you at a convenient time for her.

I believe you will have a better experience all around if you don't start off your new year at this new school with complaints. Think outside the box and be resourceful finding a way for YOU to solve your family dilemma.

Good luck and best wishes at having a great first grade year with your son!!!

Does your son or daughter have any friends whose parents could watch them while you go? Can your hubby miss a few hours (comp time, personal time something)? Do you know any of the other parents (or coaches from anything your son is involved in)? What about one of your co-workers friends? What are other parents doing for care? If not, talk to the principal and see what your option are.

I know at our school they encourage parents only for kids in 1-4 grades but have care available if necessary. K Open House is on a different night and they want the kids there for a quick bus ride and bus safety thing.

Worse case, you have to miss (I don't like that option either). If you do have to miss, let your son's teacher know you have to miss and why. She may have an idea that will work. If not, ask for anything (handouts, verbal info, etc) that you will miss.

Maybe check with the PTA president to see if something different can be arranged in the future (maybe the PTA can line up some high school volunteers to babysit in the gym for the evening if parents make reservations ahead of time).

Absolutely let them know this is a hardship. That if your child can't come then you can't come. They sound like they have parents who have money and expect others to leave their kids at home to do adult only things at the school. Are you sure you want him to go there?

Our PTA provides child care for school events like open houses, parent-teacher conferences, and PTA meetings. Definitely talk to you PTA, I bet there are a lot of parents who could benefit from that option! It is nice to be able to have both parents attend things, for example. But I don't think it is the school district's responsibility, as inconvenient as it may well be for many people not to bring kids along.

our school offers child care - the PTA sets it up and holds it in the cafeteria to allow single parents or those that shift work the ability to come.

Why not contact the school and PTA and ask about it?

Not sure what your husband does - however - he might be able to go in late and take care of the kids.

Most Open House's take about 45 to 1.5 hours. The point of ours? Introduce kids to teachers.

Our middle school does NOT want you to bring children - as their open house is for parents only and is usually about 1.5 hours long and the parents get to meet the teachers.

I would start talking to neighbors, other parents and see what they have going on...I would also talk to the school and the PTA President about child care for the open house. Tell them that you can't go because they are not allowing children....it might make a difference!

I wouldn't complain... Like the few answers I scanned said, kids are just a distraction at things like this.

Maybe you can get together with some of the other parents, and try to form a plan for future situations like this. Maybe some of them have older kids, or a reliable babysitter, who would be willing to come to the school on these days. With permission from the school, they can set up an area in an empty classroom, or cafeteria or something where parents who need it can drop off their kids. You would need to find out how many kids would be there, and figure the amount of sitters/ division of pay from that.

ETA hahah... After reading a few previous answers, I guess my idea isn't that original. But hey! Great minds think alike.... Must be a good idea. Lol.

This is so strange to me. A big part of what our open house night is all about is giving the kids a chance to meet their teachers and see their new classrooms so there is less fear and uncertainty on that first day of school. What is even the point of an open house night if kids don't come?

I would complain to the district! The only time kids aren't welcome at anything in our school division is our parent council meetings, and for those we hire some kids from the high school to babysit the kids in the gym. We pre-register so they know how many kids to hire, and it is paid for from the parent council funds.

That is unacceptable in my opinion. PTO offers a child play center for our nights like this where the kids have an activity that is run by us in the cafeteria. It's often an art project of sorts that is simple and fun all grades can enjoy it. We also get the information from the teachers before hand and are often involved in helping our children's teachers set up so we do not miss out on anything. We have also shown a movie in there when it's more last min thrown together. During our PTO meetings we pay a few high schoolers that are in a child care program to watch the young ones in another room with small activities for them. The only thing that I understand is "child free" is parent teacher conferences, but one time accommodations were made for my son because we simply had no other option (Pre-K) and another class room took him for the hour no big deal. I think there is a way for accommodations to be made here.

Call the school, and ask them.
Explain to them the situation.
It would not hurt, to ask.

Even when these things have a "rule" that no children are to be there, many parents still do bring their child/children.
But of course, it can cause a disruption or distraction.
So keep that in mind.

But, I would first, CALL the school, and ask them.

As to complaining to the District office.... I think you should first call your child's school, and in a calm manner, ask them what they think.
I mean, MANY of these Open House nights, are no-children allowed.
Even at my kids' school.
But to me the thing to do is, to ask your child's school, in a friendly calm manner... so the school does not think you are trying to cause trouble.

To me, this is not something to call the District office about.
Meetings like this, are on a school to school basis. Not a system wide, thing.

And in the future, per the many school functions that will be ongoing now and each year (because school Open Houses are an annual thing), find/get/put into place, options, for childcare. For when you have adult-only school meetings/functions to attend. This will not be the first and only, time this will occur.
So think and plan, ahead.

And perhaps, the school's PTA, can organize themselves, to have on campus, a room to watch the children while the meeting is going on.
But this is all, Voluntary. So keep that in mind too. School PTA's are made up, of parents too. Who also... have to or want to, be at those meetings. And they have kids, too.

For the parents I know, who are single parents or married, and have other kids, they do come to the Open Houses. They take off of, work. Can your Husband do that???? That is what most parents do.
Or, you NETWORK with other parents... and see, if someone you know, will babysit your kids, so you can attend these functions.

And coming up, and what you also need to plan for is: the "Parent/Teacher" conferences. Too. This is typically something that kids are not allowed at, either.

Also, if you absolutely cannot, attend the Open House, then, contact or e-mail your son's Teacher. Let her know the situation... that you cannot attend/have no childcare for your kids. AND THEN... the Teacher, CAN put aside, the packets of information for you (the things that you would get at the Open House), and give it to you later.

And since you are married, your Husband ALSO has to be willing... to take off of work, and attend these things TOO. If you cannot.
My Husband does that.

This is a major pain. Our curriculum night does not allow kids, nor provide child care. Fortunately our after school program has (in the past and hopefully this year) provided extended hours on curriculum night. Our previous Montessori school always provided child care for the hours of parent teach conferences and whenever they expected parents to attend.

I don't see why the school can't provide a few hours of childcare. Even if they had to charge a nominal fee.

The discussion may be different than "Look, here's your classroom" with the new program. I would ask friends if they'd do a babysitting exchange (they watch your kids, you give them a date night some other time). That is what I often do to save on sitters. If you are simply unable to find childcare, I would call the school and ask if there's another way you can get the information.

IMO, it is not necessarily that the school is Title 1 or not. It is likely the nature of the program. I've been to plenty an open house or school meeting and sometimes kids can come and sometimes they cannot. When I went to DD's preschool teacher meeting at the end of the year, another parent and I signed up for back to back meetings and tag-teamed watching the kids on the playground. Sometimes you just shouldn't have the kid with you.

It would seem a lot of parents would be upset over this. I know they would be at my children's school. It would not be a problem for me to find a babysitter, but an inconvenience, yes.

I'd simply write an email to the principal how you are disappointed you have to miss the open house due to not having someone available to watch your children. And ask that perhaps next year they may consider changing that rule.

Then I'd write an email to the teacher to ask if you could meet with her on another day after school or before school to find out what you'll be missing and if it would be ok if you brought your little ones with you.

Get ready for tough years ahead, if you have no local support system and no babysitters!!

Start getting to know your neighbors NOW. Not everyone will request money to watch your kids. Make it a "trade" for something else - your husband can mow their lawn this weekend, etc.

I was going to suggest you voice your opinion, before I read on and saw you said you going to complain.

I am a single parent also and I can tell you I would've shown up with my kids in tow. They were EXTREMELY well behaved because that was the expectation in my house (both are gifted, also). I would've ensured they had a book to read or something to keep them occupied. I don't understand the posts below that kids cannot be quiet for an hour. They can sit through church for an hour on Sunday morning, why not open house?? It's a learned behavior.

If questioned, or should I say WHEN you're questioned, I would tell them that you have no support system here and you believed it was more important that you attend and participate in his education than to stay home and miss the event. I probably would've thrown a sarcastic comment in there about it being the goal of the school to have high parent participation and not messing up their stats or having to come ask a million questions later because you missed it at open house. :)

On a serious note, I've noticed that kids do better when they know what their expectations are. Gifted kids are no exception to this. I am not sure why they banned kids at THEIR school's open house, but my kids transitioned better when they had access to their school and met their instructors before class began. Even in high school, my daughter would be volunteering for a club or honor society activity before school and she would meet all her teachers and check out the class ... :)

As a 3rd grade teacher, I welcome kids at our open house which occurs the week before school starts. That way, the children have a preview of my class expectations, routines, and environment before school starts. The students that miss open house actually miss something important and it cuts down on the time I have to spend the first few days of school implementing my systems. :)

Is it absolutely necessary? My daughter's school LIKES parents to come but considering it's on a weekday and at 4 pm and not everyone can get out of work early, it is not mandatory. Also, a lot of people are still on summer vacation, as the school's orientation happens the week before school starts so for them, it is simply impossible to show up, and impractical for the school to expect everyone to be able to attend.

During orientation, they just give parents the rules, the emergency contact list, and it gives kids a chance to meet their new school year teacher. They give you the same stuff on the first day of class if you cannot make it, and the school itself said it wasn't critical and that you could get those same materials on the first day of school, so...

I went for Kindergarten and first grade and it's the same schpiel over and over, so I did not feel I missed out on too much this time around for 2nd grade. Our school allows kids to come because again, the point of this orientation is for them to meet their teacher and not feel worried about finding their classroom on the first day. My daughter's school only has about 12 classrooms so it wasn't rocket science or too time consuming to find her classroom on the first day. We were fine.

My daughter's grandparents are about 30 miles away, and I wouldn't say I can rely on them too much because of the distance and the awful traffic, but if there's an emergency like this, they would make the effort to come pick her up, especially if it's not optional, like a parent-teacher meeting. As others have mentioned, could your husband attend the open house if it's in the daytime? At least you have that option, better than nothing. There are some single moms who have no in-laws, friends, or relatives because they just moved, and I feel awful that they are truly in a bad spot when it comes to a support system. You and your husband could probably tweak your schedule around, no?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the bottom line is the school doesn't care.

Would I voice my opinion, absolutely. Have I been doing that for the last 13 years, absolutely. Most of the time the administration just listens and they yes me to death, and of course nothing happens. Ever once in awhile you get lucky and they actually do something about the problem. In this case the solution is simple. They can offer babysitting by providing activities in the gym or cafeteria.