School Issues - Ashaway,RI

GET and PUT everything -- EVERYTHING in writing. After an in-person meeting, follow up with a letter stating what happened in the meeting; anything that was discussed and anything that was decided or agreed upon. Copy anyone and everyone who might have any interest or responsibility.

I had some issues with my kids' guidance counselor for a few years. Long story, but when it appeared my daughter would possibly not graduate due to a schedule issue, I lost it. I wrote a letter to the principal and copied the counselor, vice-principal, ALL school counselors, all deans, etc. and threatened that my next letter would be to the superintendent and school board. My phone rang within minutes of the principal receiving my letter. The counselor called later that day. But the principal PERSONALLY worked out my daughter's schedule for that semester.

Nothing I did or said over the phone or even in person got any response. My letter got an immediate and meaningful response.

Have you tried using a Child Advocate. They are a third party representative who can help you. They can help explain the system in place now to you, make suggestions to help you communicate with the teachers and priniciple and sometimes even attend the meetings for/with you to hlep out. In the meantime, I would document everything, make notes and try the suggestions that you are getting from the teachers.

Good Luck.

I don't find this confusing at all. She's having problems with the school, that is perfectly clear. Just because she doesn't spell out exactly what her son's issue is (and she shouldn't necessarily have to in a semi-public forum just to ask for help) doesn't mean people can't help her with advice. Way to dump on someone who needs help.

G., you need an advocate, and possibly a lawyer. Definitely look for a PAC in your community and speak with the superintendent and special ed coordinator, and check out wrightslaw. There are laws that they have to follow regarding the IEP process (including how long it takes to get things done). I feel so bad for you with your pregnancy -- you feel you have only until the baby is born to get this done, because you know after things will be insane for a while, right? I've been there! It sounds like you're in a lemon of a school. I hope they are actually doing a re-evaluation and you will see some results soon. Good luck.

G., I'm so impressed with your ability to advocate for son, especial with the added stress of being pregnant.
I wanted to share with you a lesson I learned in High School. My High School guidance counselor told me & my parents that, although she could not put it in writing, the public school I was attending Could Not Teach Me. She strongly recommended they find an alternative.
I'm extremely fortunate that they did, but wondered why it was so hush-hush. Then I found out. If the school had admitted that they could not teach me, they would be responsible for paying my tuition at a private school. The laws change year to year and state to state. That was Mass in 1989. But the point was that the school system is responsible for providing a comprehensive education to every child. If they cannot provide the basics your son needs in order to learn, then they are responsible for finding someone who can.
I hope things have gotten better for you and that you are all doing well.

As a former teacher, I would recommend finding someone to work with your son 1-on-1 (if you can afford it). College students are GREAT with this and will work for a lot less. If they are going on in education, they may even be interested in adding this to their resume. If you were to do this, it could serve not only as an academic resource for your son, but also as a positive role model and mentor.

You sound frustrated and I'm sure your son feels just as frustrated and upset as you. Maybe it is time to try something independent of what the schools are offering you...

gosh, the whole glucose thing threw me off the loop. i hope your emails to school staff are better organized, in paragraphs, discussing each point. you should seek assistance from someone to help you write these letters. you need to make it formal, mail CC them to wherever you need to CC them. emails are quite informal and frankly they either end up unread or in junk mails so not very reliable.
so, a few pointers, if you feel you've gotten the run around (why did you allow it to go on for so many years without getting legal assistance). if you feel, again, you have gotten the run around, get one of the pro bono lawyers that deal with school districts to represent you and your son.
you are his best advocate. do not let emotions take the best of you. get the local congressman involved as well. you will have to attend these meetings. if not you, someone appointed by you, could be a family member, could be a close friend etc.
after you have gotten legal representation, and if still refused to get the assistance your son needs, then that lawyer will sue the school district on your behalf. but really you have wasted so many years don't waste anymore.
ps you need to learn how to navigate reading logs and what not that is involved.

If your child is in a public school... by law they are required to give him a free and appropriate education. I had these same issues with my son... the school kept giving me the run around on everything. If you request that your son be put on an IEP, do it in writing and send it certified to the school. By law, they are required to start the process (also by law, they have 30 days to gather a team together and do testing and have 45 days to have the IEP completed). They should immediately provide you with a pamphlet called the parents guide for procedural safegurads. I had to file a complaint with the Massachusetts' Dept of Education, the department of civil services, and the department for children with special needs. Four months later things began to come together, however, immediately when i filed the complaint to the Dept of Edu, the school became proactive in testing my son. I'm am still dealing with issues, but am going through the mediation process. My son has ADHD, Dyslexia, Pervasive Developmental Disorder-not otherwise specified, Aspergers syndrome, and a mood disorder. At this time his IEP is only focused on his ADHD and nothing else. He sees 7 different doctors each month, etc, etc. If you have any further questions, you can e-mail me at ____@____.com (it's all lowercase but I wanted to make sure that you see it as an L and not an i.... the last 4 characters of my e-mail are numbers zero not O) I have been going through this as well so if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Good Luck.

One of the first things that needs to be done at this point, if you're planning to keep your son in that school, is to request a PET. This is so that everything is written down and documented. No more phone calls by the principal or others that are not documented. There is to be someone at that PET who is on your side, not the school's. That can be a guidance counselor, by the way. You can also bring in your own person (friend, attorney, or other person). This helps to level the playing field.

I would be cautious about starting your son on a medication just because the school says he needs it. They are not in the medical or psychiatric professions so their judgment can be skewed.

It might be best to homeschool your son for some, if not, all of the remaining year. You can determine what you want to do next year. By homeschooling him, you allow your whole family to get back to being a family first. With the few remaining weeks left before your baby is born, this could also give you more rest.

Sincerely,
S. M.

I just wanted you to know that I feel your pain. I have four special needs children and struggle with the schools all the time. I have one with a 504, and 3 on IEPs. From my understanding a principle or special education person should be at every meeting. I know the it is furstrating but the school does have to follow protocol. I wonder if talking to his doctor will help the school move a little faster. I have noticed that if the school doesn't see the behaviors at school then they don't want to do anything. My one daughter who is not special needs has acted up in school, for two years she was repeatedly in the principle's office ( I am talking 15 times a year). When I switched her to a different school, none of what we were seeing (hitting, kicking, swearing) happened. She is a happy child, but she is now behind in homework, because the school we transfered her to is a "harder" school. I also learned that the school she was going to didn't seem as strict as the one she is going to now.
So my advice to you is stick to your guns.

Hi G.! I'm sorry to say that your situation is very, very common when you have a kid who needs help on an IEP. I have been through similar things, and the school is defensive because most likely, they are wrong and they know it, and they're scared so they are going to blame you.

I suggest you get an educational advocate - when is your meeting? There are sometimes free advocates, but they might need some time to review your file. Try here http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/ri.htm

You should also see if your town has a Parents Advisory Council - It may be associated with this one http://www.ripin.org/education.html or this one http://www.psnri.org/html%20docs/support/oneonone.html

You can check out my blog at http://onetownonevoice.wordpress.com - there are a lot of good resources there.

You can get information online at htp://www.wrightslaw.com.

The bottom line is that you need support and you need someone to help you know your rights. I live in Massachusetts, so I don't know the Rhode Island system, but I will help in any way I can. You can email me at ____@____.com if you want to talk further. God bless you - you are not alone!

G.
Boy, can I relate! Just this morning I was on the phone with my son's school. I am in a very similar situation. My son did not qualify for an IEP because he was not "BEHIND"! We too have a 504 in place. The problem is, it is not being followed through! I'm not sure if you realize this, but a 504 is Federal! You have the right to file a grievance through the 504 Grievance Procedure or a complaint with the United States Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights! Or at least threaten to on Thursday! Your school is responsible for assuring compliance with Section 504!
Google Parent/Student Rights (Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973) Good Luck!!!

Get an educational advocate and an educational lawyer. That will make the school system stand up straight and listen and do their job. You can check with your state educational board or social services about obtaining both.

G. -

My advice is to contact the RI department of education or the federation for children with special needs and ask them to pair you with an advocate to attend meetings with you and make sure your son's rights to FAPE (free and appropriate public education) are being respected. Also, ask the school department of special services to put you in contact with the PAC, the Parent's Advisory Council. These are all parents in your son's school district who have children with 504's and IEP's. They can advise and support you as you seek additional help for your son. It's a tough process when you do not know the lingo and the srevices to ask for - this is the time to get outside help before the problem gets worse. Good luck!
- C.

After reading your post, it's not clear what the issues are. If you communicate with the school via email or other written communication you need to make sure your ideas come across clearly and if at all possible, concisely. You may find a phone call would be a better way to get in touch with the team teachers.

I would try and access the online program that you mentioned. Many schools now use the online format to post homework and grades so that parents may check assignments and progress from home. Perhaps if you contact the school's technology person, they may be able to assist you with logging into the site.

You need to read the 504 closely. Does it say that the agenda book will be signed daily? weekly? Some are only signed if the student presents the agenda book to the teacher at the end of class, per the 504 language. In addition, the agenda book piece may have also been substituted for the online homework/grade check site. Make sure you understand the language of the 504 document, and with the future IEP.

At this point, I would contact the school district's special education coordinator and explain the issues you are having with the school principal. If that doesn't work, try contacting the district's superintendent. Keep working your way up the chain and document everything.

It's unclear from your posting how far your son is in the re-evaluation process however, you may want to seek outside sources for testing. Your son's doctor may have additional resources to help in the special education evaluation process. It's also worth mentioning that you are entitled to legal counsel at all your special education meetings. There are lawyers that specialize in this practice and based on the run around you've been given, you may want to look into a lawyer or other special education advocate.

G., Get everything in writing. Start with a main letter stating that you have been trying to get your son help for the past 4 years. If you have copies of all the emails and response emails blowing you off thats great. If the school has dropped the ball and your son is suffering from it they will be responsible for fixing the mess they have made. especially if you have hard copies of everything. The main thing is to remain calm. hard to do when its your kid who is loosing out becuase of a mistake they made. But the big thing here is to have written letters and copies of same. I went so far as to copy the same letter and send it to the school teacher, principal, social worker, special ed coordinator and then also the superintendent of the district. you need to have all of them knowing that your on the ball. You have to ask in specific terms for a case study of your child and the state has 3o days to take care of it. but you also have to be prepared for what they come back and say. but it sounds like your already aware he needs help. good luck
S.

Everyone has given such good advice about the school issues. I hope that you are taking care of yourself and the new baby to be. That said you are an obviously responsible, caring parent who would take your son to the Dr. if he was injured. He needs to see a counselor / psychologist whether he hates it or not. Help him understand that he has to go and that it is not to be evaluated but to help him. Your child has to be in pain for the loss of his other parent and he needs help to deal with his challenges. It can not be easy to be in his skin. It's not easy but make him go. And make sure he knows he's going because you love him and want him to be happy and have friends.

I agree that this email was very confusing. I am assuming your son has ADHD from the mention of his organization skills? A re-eval sounds like a good idea so they can determine exactly what his issues are. I would keep pushing, but also maybe check into the website wrightslaw.com - there are several links there that can help you with advocating for your child. Is your child getting in trouble at school or only having trouble academically? It does sound like an IEP would help. Call your local disability rights or dept of ed and find out what the special ed laws are as far as how much time they have to get things done. And hold them to it. Get educated and make them know that you are! If you email me off list might have time to research further and find you some places in your area which could help you.

I found this to be very confusing. I don't really know what the problem is.

However, if your not getting a response from the principal, it's time to go to the BOE, school superintendent, or whoever oversees your principal.

Gather all your writen correspondence and documentation of verbal correspondence and organize. Now write a cover letter and (since time is short) hand deliver it to the BOE office. Get a receipt.

You mentioned meds. Why is the school recommending what meds your child should take? Do you have doctor's records?

What's wrong with re-evaluating him? It seems like the most logical place to begin now that you have their attention. Just be very demanding about when the testing will take place and you need it to be done asap.

Good luck.

Can't help with advise about the school system, but want you to take care of yourself first and not let them bully you!! Please contact A Woman's Concern in Fall River ###-###-####.

G.,

I know how you feel!!! At this point everything seems confused on what is supposed to be done or how. I would for sure call the superintendent of the school and tell them your coming in, this what I had to do and believe me he/she will get to the bottom of this. They do not want to lose your money. Or I would just show up with all your paperwork and things in order. I would not put my kids on Meds because the school thinks you should. They tried that with me also. I did not put my son medication because he did not need it. If you feel the meds are helping, then so be it. But do not do it for the school. I would get a school advocate to help you. Your entitled to one. They help you get things done so your son is on the best program and getting the help he needs. Tell the head of special needs you want one immediately. Please call the superintendent since your meeting is Thursday, do not take no for answer so that you meet with him/her right away! .I wish you luck!!!

D.

You definitely need an advocate. They can present the information in a clear, organized and detailed manner and the school will often take you more seriously with an advocate on board. Google educational advocate for your area. Good luck.

I agree with Krysten: you should definitely get an advocate. IEPs and 504 plans are legal documents that need to be followed, regardless of how many students a teacher has.
It wasn't clear to me what kind of online reporting your school has available. Lots of schools have systems where teachers can post homework daily. If that is something you can use, it would negate the need for a signed assignment book.
You seem overwhelmed with the school and your preganancy. It may be helpful to jot down the issues you want to be sure to discuss so you can remain focused. Sometimes it's helpful to share this list with the case manager before the meeting so staff can respond in a thoughtful way. Sometimes it just gives them more time to prepare an argument against you, but as a special ed teacher, I always appreciated not being blindsided.
Good luck!
J.

I would see if there is a choice school that you could put your son in. OR threaten with the superintendant (sp). Go above these jerks who are not helping you loved one!