Schedule Nap Times??

Updated on January 29, 2009
S.L. asks from Rockville, MD
14 answers

I have an 8 month old daughter who will not sleep during the day. My husband and I have tried lying her down for naps and she has a fit...screaming and crying. We have actually gotten to the point at night where we put her down to sleep and she doesn't spas out. We put her in the crib and she rolls over. During the day though is a different story. You can tell she is tired and falls asleep in your arms but when you go to lay her down the tears start falling. We got to the point where if she won't sleep in her crib then she doesn't take a nap but I know she needs it.
My mohter-in-law used to watch her full-time when I went back to work and started taking naps with her. I think that is where this all started. She has now started daycare and is having a hard time sleeping there but I can understand new place new people. She does not sleep with us at night or on the weekends during the day.
My sister had told me to try scheduling the nap times...10 and 2. How do you do that when she won't sleep and now she is in daycare?
Thanks to all of you wonderful mom's out there and your great advice!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for the advice. I have talked to my daycare and she said she would work with us since both my husband and I work full time. I hope she comes around because the poor child is extremely tired.

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

The daycare should have her on a 2 nap schedule. Mine did for my son when he was 8 months. It will probably take time and persistance to get into the routine. You can do it and really daycare should make it easy to have a routine/schedule.

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

The best way I've found to get my kids to go to sleep awake was to send them to daycare! Daycares don't have time to putz with rocking and rocking and rocking a child to sleep, so often the children just accept it. I remind myself of this, that my child CAN and DOES go to sleep for someone else; he's just doing it because it's ME and I just need to set up different expectations. My first did not get out of our bed because he needed to snuggle to sleep until he was 3 1/2. With #2, we said NO WAY we want our bed back, so we have started putting him down awake here at 15 months. He still freaks out when we put him down--but only for a few minutes. My children have both been very quick to get up and stand up and shake the railings and hang on the bars and just scream and scream. But, having someone else put them to sleep does amazing things. Also...we have found that if we just wait it out (w/ #2...#1 would NOT settle down) for 5-10 minutes, he will put himself to sleep. At 8 months, she probably still needs sleep pretty badly, so will probably sack out fairly soon. I hope. Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Honolulu on

You're going through what every first time mom does. I have two kids of my own who are 18 (left the nest) and 11. After going through a period of stress with my son where I couldn't get anything done during the day and couldn't sleep at night because he wouldn't sleep, I turned to reading before nap and bedtime. It worked like a charm. When I had my daughter, I started reading to her at four months old. I learned to keep my voice slow and even while I read and it seemed to be relaxing to her; she'd be asleep by the end of the story.
When I started doing daycare in my home, my biggest fear was "How am I going to get all of those kids to nap at the same time?" Children love routines, so what I did was this: a couple of hours before the designated lunch time, we would have stimulating activity, followed by foamy-soap handwashing, then lunch, then foamy-soap again, diaper changes, and then story/nap time. With my daycare kids I decided to incorporate music. I bought a spa CD and I'd have it very low (barely audible) in the background and then I'd begin reading in that low and even voice. I'd make sure to have eye contact and a smile for each child at least once in the beginning of the story and then concentrate on the rest of the story until it was done. They would all just fall asleep. At the end of the story I'd turn the music up just a notch and they'd sleep for about an hour and sometimes longer to the soothing music. We would also do storytime towards the end of the day when we waited for parents to pick-up. I would read with animation and use different voices to make it fun. They soon learned the difference between my regular reading voice and my naptime reading voice. Children love storytime and routine; they're never too young to start. Good luck.

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M.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you are open to it, you may have to try the cry it out method. We did that with my daughter who wouldn't sleep at night and the first night was pure hell and she cried for 1 1/2 hours but went to sleep and the next night was less crying until after 3 nights she went to sleep by herself. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We use the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. It is a wonderful book and it will help you a lot. Nap training is the hardest. But the longer she goes without good naps the harder it is going to be to train her. The book has worked wonders with our two kids! And it is a gentle approach so you won't have to let her cry it out.

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A.R.

answers from Madison on

I completely understand! My son is the same way. We have really struggled with naps, probably because I used to lay down with him for naps or my husband would hold him for his naps. We started him in daycare when he was 6 months old (2 days/week) and was so worried about how he would do because he wouldn't nap. He is now almost 11 months old and his naps are still "hit and miss." One day he'll take 2 good naps (1 1/2 hr each @ 9am and 1:30pm) and then the next day only about 30 minutes all day (if I'm lucky). It can be very frustrating. I guess my only advice is try to and be as consistent as possible...lay her down at the same times everyday and hopefully eventually she'll catch on that it's naptime in her crib. I also found that I have better luck with naps when he wakes up in the morning around 7am and laying him down for the first nap 2 hours later. If he ends up sleeping in (until 8am) that just throws the whole day off. So, a couple of times I have gone against my belief of never waking a sleeping baby, just so that I could increase my chances of good naps during the day.
Many peoople told me "he might just not be a good napper", but that is frustrating because he is so clearly tired! So, that is where I have a hard time because I know that if I just laid down with him, he'd nap for 2 hours:) But, after finally being consistent with bedtime routine when he was 7 months old, he sleeps great at night (11-12 hours straight), so I do believe that consistency is key.
I am sorry this probably doesn't help much, but please know that you are not alone!!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We had the same problem with our now 18 month old. She wouldn't nap at daycare - too busy looking around - and she wouldn't nap for us at home unless we held her. WE STILL HAVE THE PROBLEM! When she was still in an infant seat my husband and I would take turns driving her around until she fell asleep for her afternoon nap, then carry the car seat into the house and let her sleep. I know bad habbit, but weekends she needed to nap!! Now we let her fall asleep on her little couch or in the recliner and leave her there....sometimes she sleeps for 30 minutes - 2 hours. At least we are able to get something done while she naps! My Dr told me, some kids just don't need much sleep. Good Luck.

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H.A.

answers from Waterloo on

You could try to put her down to nap in either a swing or one of those vibrating bouncy seats. When our older son was a baby that was sometimes the only way we could get him to fall asleep at naptime (bedtime he did fine). If one of those didn't work then we would leave him in whichever one we'd put him in but then we'd turn on Baby Einstein. That, combined with the motion of the swing or the bouncy seat, usually did the trick.

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A.H.

answers from Wausau on

Have you heard of swadddling (sp?)??? I do daycare and had a baby boy that was similar where he would not sleep, but he was also colic on top of that. I would swaddle him (tight), cuddle until he was relaxed and then lay him down like that. He would usually make it for an hour and a half or so. Good luck!

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

well, its not a bad thing exactly... just frustrating. i think we as parents sometimes expect our kids to be 'perfect' or something - or always sleep right when we think they should. for the most part, parent ALWAYS trumps any other advice, as they are the only ones who know their child.

have you used a sling or carrier? and ask if your child care would do the same. an unfulfilled need turns up as an undesired habit later (example; a child i know who wasnt allowed a sucker will now grit and grind his teeth instead)
so try holding her while she sleeps. theres nothing wrong with it, she wont need you to do it forever. if it comforts her, then do it theres nothing wrong with it.
it might take some getting used to, but slings or carriers allow baby to sleep connected to you, and you are still able to do others things...
i used to wear my son in a sling and i would do dishes, sweep, even vacuum (the vacuum was my son's trigger white noise. worked every time. glad we found "for crying out loud" a white noise cd with 8 tracks of different white noises)
the most comfortable sling i found and purchased after my son was older and didnt need it anymore, but i used it with my child care. its called the moby wrap. though it takes some practice it is VERY comfortable, i could put it on and after some adjustments and stuff, i hardly noticed i was carrying a child on me! :D very comfortable.

anyway, good luck. remember to just have patience, before you know it she will be doing something else... you can try putting some toys or books in crib with her and see if she will play/read herself to sleep. if she doesnt after a while, (i give my 2 year old an hour - but an 8 month old? i dunno, you are the parent, you know whens enough) you can get her up again, and at least you've had some time to yourself.
good luck.
try white noise, light blocking shades (yet use a night light), and pacifier? snuggle bear, doll, blanket??

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B.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

That's crazy that she doesn't nap during the day! 8-mo-old babies still need a lot of sleep in the daytime. My 8-mo-old daughter takes one 3-hr nap every day, from about 11am-2pm or so. Most babies this age take 2 naps: one am and one pm. I say... when you know she is tired, probably around 10-11am, just lay her down in her crib. Let her cry and see if she falls asleep eventually. If she likes to sleep on her tummy, and you are comfortable with it, maybe you should try laying her on her tummy. She needs to learn to go to sleep in her crib. Keep doing it the same time every day. She'll get used to it. Good luck! I know it's hard listening to a crying baby - but she also needs her sleep!!

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J.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

sounds like you won't have much control over what happens at daycare. but at home, the 10 and 2 idea is a good one. I live by "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth... and he wrote that you should leave your baby in their crib for at least 45 minutes, crying or not, to help them learn to nap. Think of the nap times as "wind down" times even if she is not asleep.

One other thought is that she may do better if you consistently lay her down before she falls asleep, rather than after... my baby gets so mad if she has already fallen asleep, then i put her in her crib, she wakes up and is furious.

also, start the new routine and schedule on a day when you have the most consecutive days at home with her, so that by the time she gets to daycare, she's partway into the routine . you can also request that the daycare teachers try to follow a similar routine and sleep schedule.

oh, i found that it was ok that my baby had a different nap routine at daycare than at home. there, they'd rock her completely to sleep before laying her down, whereas at home i'd nurse her and try to lay her down before she fell asleep. she seemed to be fine with the 2 different routines.

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M.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

From my experience working in a daycare center we always had an afternoon nap time for the babies. When they were at 2 a day we just put them down in the AM and hoped they slept through the other kids. I would strongly suggest talking with the lead teacher in your daughters daycare room and see what she reccomends b/c obviously crying it out probably wont work at daycare. My best suggestion from being at home is that at 8mo she shouldn't be up for more then 4hrs at a time, so after 4 hours (or sooner if she seems tired, watching her cues it major) lay her down, get a routine going and do it every time, (nurse/bottle, rock, read, whatever you choose) and lay her down drowsy. (we did cry it out, but went back in every 5/10 minutes to soothe, the first few days it took over an hour, by a week it took less then 15min, but I know its not for everyone, it was our last possible option) give her an hour at least of "quiet time" even if she doesn't sleep, then try it again at the next "scheduled" nap, if you at least attempt to put her down around the same time every day and follow your routine it shouldn't take her long to catch on start napping. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi,
You probably don't want to hear this, but you need to let her have her fit. She really does need sleep and you need to teach her how to put herself to sleep by herself. You are setting up habits that will effect her her whole life. It is very difficult hearing your child cry, but you really are not going to hurt her by letting her cry some. You don't have to let it go on for hours, but when you do go in to soothe her, don't pick her up. Just pat or rub her back for a few minutes and then leave again for a bit.
We used a great book for sleep training called Sleep Sense. It can be found and downloaded on-line at sleepsense.net - great book!

Good luck,
K.

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