Scared Two-year-old!

Does he have a nite light in his room? We have a small "Thomas" night light lamp, it uses a night light bulb. It sits on his dresser where he can see the light and it is a little brighter than a regular night light. This might help.

My son started getting scared around the same age. Alot of it is their imagination coming about. We got our son a monster to scare his monsters away with. It slept on the head of his bed. And we told him that the we did a monster sweep and scared them off before he went to bed. As for the laying down with him everynight... You need to try and redirect that. Maybe tell him it is a story and then sleep. Or decrease the time he lays with your son. Say ok. I will lay with you for 5 minutes then you have to go to sleep.
Good Luck.

Still to this day I remember very vividly being scared at night of things I saw in my room. I mean terrified!! Scared for my life!! Please do not force your baby to stay in his room if he is really scared. Try putting a sleeping bag on the floor at the end of your bed and tell him if he gets scared not to wake you up just come into your room. Your sleep won't be interuppted and it will cause less damage to him.... It will pass I promise!

Get a mist bottle.

Add water to the mist bottle.

Type on a colorful sheet of paper Trees Be Gone

Tape this paper around the mist bottle.

Before he goes to sleep or when he wakes up during the night upset, take the spray bottle and spray toward the windows or whatever and say the spray will enventually get rid of the frightening objects.

OR

You could get heavy drapes for his room that will not allow light in and maybe this would eliminate the night time shadows.

Good luck.

unless you want a five year old in your bed, i would go ahead and try to shut this down now. it will NOT be fun, but i would absolutely not allow him to sleep with you - if he comes in your room, take him back to his. he also needs to learn to get to sleep by himself, so your husband needs to stop laying with him. use positive reinforcement and talk about what a "big boy" he is. is it possible that little sister's arrival has sparked some of this? good luck!

Give him a small mist water bottle full of "force field" spray (water) and tell him two squirts - one to the side of his bed, one towards the end creates a protective force field that only family members can penetrate, nothing else, and this will help you keep him safe. When he comes to your room, get up with him - don't let hime crawl in - and do the room "investigation", lay him down, use the spray and reassure him you're just down the hall. You may have to do the graduated reassurance program - don't lay down with him but sit near his bed the first couple nights, then by the bedroom door and work your way out of his room. You may want to have more play time in his room with him as well, give him the fun and loving memories of being together in there. I would also tell my son that I would meet him in his dreams and asked him where he'd be - we had a lot of exotic adventures that way.

You may want to consider he is transferring fear of replacement due to all the changes because his sister is here now. My daughter is 7 months old and my 9 yr old son has been able to tell me all the woes and feelings he's had of a sibling coming into the picture. Less attention is paid to the oldest (but babies grow and soon she'll be big like you and won't need our help as much) and she gets more "cuddles" (it's h*** o* Sissy not being able to feed or walk by herself, she needs us to show her how and cart her around until she learns - it may take until she's around 1 yr old)

Night time fears come and go in cycles, just keep reassuring him about his place in your family and in your heart. Good luck!!

Hi D.,

This is a very normal stage for a child your son's age. Both my children went through it around the same age. My daughter, the oldest, was afraid of the man in the ceiling that reaches down and tickles her. Who knows where that came from. My son was afraid of tigers, bears and the third thing changed every other night. I had read that their fears are very real to them, no matter how rediculous they are to us. Just telling them that they don't need to be afraid doesn't work. They need reassurance.

I used the approach of letting them know that God is there with them all the time watching over them. He would keep them safe. We would walk through all the rooms upstairs looking under the beds and in closets for thier scary things. We would say "No whatevers here, but there's Jesus" I would also have them pray before they went to bed and told them to sing "Jesus Loves Me" whenever they were scared. After about two weeks, we didn't have to explore the closets. The prayers were enough.

I have heard you can give them a "monster spray" (a spray water bottle) to protect them. I actually let my son sleep with a wooden spoon that he could use if the tigers came.

I also would lay on the floor between their rooms so they could see me as they went to sleep. I don't necessarily recommend that part since it went on way too long. I finally switched over to getting them in bed, giving hugs and kisses and promising to check on them regularly until they went to sleep. I made sure they knew when I checked on them so they had confidence that I would be back. Once they could relax, they would fall asleep.

Good luck,
B.

You could find "Bad dream sprinkles" at www.zoneofnaturalremedies.com . It is natural product for kids plus FDA approved. They also have more products.
Best wishes-W.

Hi D.,
I've posted on this same subject a couple of times before. I would suggest that you teach him the difference between what is pretend and what is real on a level that he can understand. I don't feel that playing into the whole monster thing is a good idea. To me that is telling him that they are real. How scary is that to a 2 year old! I would take time the time to show him that somethings are not real at a time when he is not struggling with the issue. Believe me it will not hamper is imagination at all knowing the difference. ") As for his room I would get him a really good night light that kind of dimly lights up his room and play a nice c/d that he choses to hear. Mine listen to a Christmas c/d.
If things don't work out, maybe if possible you can set his bed close to yours without him getting into the bed with you. I have an old toddler bed that is next to a twin bed in our spare room and if he wakes from a bad dream and won't go back down in his room, we will go in there for the night. That away he gets the reassurance he needs and I get the sleep that I need.
Best Regards,
C.

Hi D.,

Looks like you have gotten a lot of great advice. But, I thought I'd add my two cents anyway!! My son is 2 1/2 and he started this at 2 also. The way I/we handled it was to tell him that shadows stay on the wall.. they can't touch you (and then we'd show him.. for example the fan shadow on the wall and move the fan so he see's that's what it is), for monsters we tell him Jesus takes the monsters away.. because we did the whole there's no monsters, but they are real to him. This approach worked much better for us. He does have a night light too. Last thing is he still has a monitor in his bedroom.. which some people think is absurd. But, in our house he is upstairs and we are downstairs across the house.. so we can't hear him without it. Anyways, we tell him that we can hear him always.. and he tests us. He'll yell before going to sleep.. you can hear me? And we yell yes back...lol..

These have worked for us.. and if he is having a particularly bad night we know.. because he will say it.. shadows stay on the wall & Jesus took monsters away, right? We say yes, and he'll test the monitor a couple of times.. but then he'll go right to sleep with no problems. Hope this helps!!

I know it's a little late...but we kept our girls in complete darkness from the moment they moved to their toddler beds. And whenever the scared phase came in, we just explained that there was nothing to be scared about & that their dog, mommy, daddy & grandma were all there for them. In addition, I made super thick curtains that keeps all shadows, mutes out some outside sounds and keeps the room really dark. You may also want to trim anything that is rubbing against the house.

Every night, as part of bedtime rituals, we say a goodnight prayer. I don't know how familiar you are with prayer so here's the pattern of prayer we use.

We begin by saying "Dear Heavenly Father," or "Our Father in Heaven..." Then we talk about things are a thankful for, things that bring feelings of comfort and peace, like our family, the beautiful things of the earth, favorite toys, Special talents or abilities, fun things they were able to do that day, etc. Then we ask for special blessings that will also bring feelings of comfort and safety. We ask for our home to be blessed to be a sanctuary of love and peace and safety, for each of the family members, for everyone to be able to sleep well. We end the prayer "...in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." This helps my children to feel safe and calm and helps them sleep better.

Any night we forget to say a prayer, because sometimes it happens, they wake up at night and just don't sleep as well.

We also sing a bedtime song. I tell my children if they are ever feeling afraid, they can say a prayers and they will feel better. Or if they sing a song to themselves, it will make them feel better.

Examine what influences your child is being exposed to. Sometimes, just listening to the news is too much for a child to hear. Even some PG rated movies haves scenes that are too intense. I had a 2 year old child who was terrified of tigers in the dark after seeing the "cave of wonders" in Aladdin.

Also, some after my 2nd child was born, my first little boy started saying he was afraid of the "shadows that move without bodies" at night. It turns out that he was seeing and hearing me up at night with the baby. I told him he can always just call out to me and I will hear him and answer him. Suddenly, he wasn't afraid any more.

Overall, remember that this time when they are so little and need your comfort so much doesn't last long. They will be asking for your car keys and staying out past curfew before you know it! Be patient. A well balanced child is worth a couple restless nights.

Here's something that I did with my daughter when she was very little: I brought a can of air freshener into her room and told her it was "Scary Spray". I acted like I was reading the can and said something like, "Repels monsters, aliens, ugly creatures, and all other scary beings.....spray three times, once per day, to prevent scary things from entering a room....."

She believed it, and slept soundly whenever we sprayed it before bedtime. Sometimes we needed an extra dose for the closet. :) She decided that it smelled like flowers because scary things don't like nice things like flowers.

She's 16 now, and remembers this. She laughs at the funny memory, and was never upset about this trick, because by the time she could read, she'd overcome her fears and know that it had helped her feel secure.

If you don't already have a nightlight, this might help too. I've heard the "monster under the bed sweep" works well - you could modify yours to be a tree sweep! You could try and find out why he's scared and work through that. Did he get hurt on a tree, did he see a movie with a scary tree (Snow White was pretty scary in the forest scene!!) - things like that. Maybe if you can figure out what caused this, you can help him work through it. Good luck - it's got to be frustrating for you!!

There's a GREAT children's book called "There's a Nightmare
in My Closet." I forget who the author is, but your local public library should have it even though it's been around for years. I taught PREK in public school for almost 16 yrs
and so many of my kidos just loved that book!! Bibliotherapy is
always a good way of facing a problem in a healthy way & getting help for it.
God bless you!
C.

Night fears are totally normal at this age, the goal is for him to feel secure you are there for him but also learn to calm himself. Bedtime routine including "monster sweep" (loved that term)and assuring him he will be ok, patience and putting him back to his bed after a good hug will work with time. Good luck!

You could try using a night light. Maybe a cd of calming music. Another thing to consider is night terrors or panic attacks. I know it is not something that is always thought about, but it may be worth monitoring. When my youngest son was a baby, he'd wake up screaming like he was hurt or something. I would run into his room, pick him up and start talking to him, but it wouldn't work. He would look right at me or off to the side with his eyes open like he was awake, but it seemed like he couldn't hear me. I asked my doctor about it and he said it could be night terrors. Of course I had never heard of this before, but he explained that it was still unknown why some kids did this and others did not. Also, he assured me that it didn't mean that he had to have experienced something frightening to go through this. My son only experience this for a short time and then he was fine. One thing I found that did work for him was to put him in the car and drive around with him until he went back to sleep or calmed down. Just a thought.

My son was helped a lot when we put our ipod dock in his room and downloaded a playlist of "pretty music" for him to listen to while he winds down and goes to sleep. It's about 1 1/2 hours long, which is plenty of time for him, and he likes the repetition of listening to the same songs every night. Plus, the ipod dock gives off a good amount of blue light, so it doubles as a night light. For music, we use PraiseBaby. It's soft, quiet, and pretty. But you could always get some pretty classical or something.

As far as getting him to sleep without actually staying till he's asleep, here's what I do. I lay down with him for a few minutes and then say, "Mommy will be right back." Then I leave for 30 seconds and come back and lay down. After a few more seconds I leave again, but this time for 1 minute, then I come back. I do this about 4 or 5 times, and each time I'm gone a little longer. After a while, he falls asleep.
I've only recently started trying this, but I've been told that it creates permanence...he becomes convinced that even if he goes to sleep, I'll be coming back, so he doesn't wait up for me. I'll let you know if it works, but it's worth a shot.

Good luck and congrats on the new baby! Hope you and your hubby can get some sleep soon!

When my now 10 year old daughter was little, I made her a spray bottle of "monster spray". I made a paper label and decorated the bottle to convice my 5 year old that it was authentic monster spray. Before she went to bed we would spray her room and then the bottle would sit on the night stand so that when she woke up she could spray the "monsters" away. That worked well for that. I sat in a chair next to my daughter's bed and slowly worked my way away from her every night by moving the chair farther and farther away from the bed. Now even though she is 10 years old, she has an easier time going to sleep if she knows that I will be awake until she is asleep. It gives her some relief to know that I will check on her before I go to bed. Good Luck!

When my daughter was about 2 1/2 she started being afraid of monsters. I reassurred her that there were no monsters but I understood that her mind made her think that there were. I told her that her daddy and I could hear her and that she could call us if she needed us to comfort her. The turning point was when we went to Babies R Us and bought her a Tykelight. It is a nightlight that is loosely shaped like a person and they can sleep with it. I taught her how to turn it off and on and let her know that it was hers to use whenever she wanted to during the night. I never said anything about keeping the monsters away or anything. She has never said anything else about monsters. She loves the light and calls it "tykey". You can get them at Babies R Us or online. It was $19.99 and well worth it! Good luck.