"Scared!!! Seeking Adults Advice"

Updated on November 25, 2008
M.W. asks from Vista, CA
17 answers

Me and my ex were going out for awhile and had sex and we jus broke up and i dont know if im pregnant or not....we used protection but i'm still scared..

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

M.,

Yes, scary.. definitely take a home preg test... that will help resolve this and give you confirmation or relief.

C.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear M.,

I clicked on your name to see if I could get more information on you. When you said ex, I thought you meant ex husband and maybe you had children already.

You are 16, is that correct? You are talking about an ex boyfriend? Your last post talks about getting on birth control. What happened? I have a daughter, although much younger than you right now, it would pain me if she didn't think she could talk to me about this stuff. First off, you don't know if you are pregnant yet or not. So, wait and see. If you are not then lesson learned, right??? You used protection but seem unsure that it worked? Were you ovulating when you had sex? Do you know? If you are pregnant, then there are many alternatives. Hang in there, I imagine you are feeling very stressed, so I know that is easier said than done but do your best.

You may email me directly if you need to talk,
M.
____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful
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D.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Definitely buy the pregnancy test. If your period isn't due yet, make sure you use it the first time you go to the bathroom in the morning. The pregnancy hormone levels are highest first thing in the morning, so that will help the test detect it earlier. Or you can always go to the doctor and ask for a blood test. The blood test is more accurate than a urine test.

If you used protection properly, you are probably not pregnant. Try not to stress out too much. What's done is done, and worrying won't change anything. Can you talk to your mom?

If you are pregnant, make sure you take care of yourself and the baby right away. Get prenatal vitamins and make an appointment with your doctor. Whether you keep the baby or give it up for adoption, the most important thing is to get the baby proper prenatal care.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

M.,

Please go to the pharmacy buy a pregnancy test and pee on the stick. You are so young, and this is too important to not find out asap. If you are not able to talk to your mother, which is my advice, then you can contact Planned Parenthood for test information and advice on Birth Control and pregnancy.

As an adult, I have experienced the heartache of a relationship ending and the joy of bringing a child into the world, from that relationship and the subsequent fall out from paternity tests and custody battles. If it is tough as an adult, I can only imagine what it might be like as a teenager.

Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Learn from this experience. Remember your fear and do not have sex again until you have a family of your own to bring a baby into.

You can buy a pregnancy test at the dollar store. Read the instructions carefully and take the test at the right time.

If you get a positive test first make an appointment to see an OB GYN. Take multi- vitamins formulated for women- these will have the nutrients you and a baby need. Then figure out the human side of it all.

If you and the ex are not good for each other don't try to work it out for a baby. If you are too young or can't care for a baby yourself or just want your baby to have a two parent home, Adoption is a beautiful option. I know many families who have been blessed with a baby through adoption. It is a miracle and an act of love.

Hope all is well. I hope you have some adults in your life that you can turn to who will help you make the decisions that you need to make. I hope it's just a false alarm and you will learn from this experience. My prayers are with you.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

M.,
The advice you have been receiving has been very good advice. Please take it, and if possible, talk to your mother. I had to deal with a similar situation with one of my children. It was hard for her to talk to me at first, but I am so glad she came to me. NO matter what, your mother loves you and would want to be there for you. Don't misunderstand a Shocked look as meaning she won't help you. Moms can be caught off guard and not always respond perfectly. Remember, she loved you enough to bring you into this world. Hope this helped some.

E.:)

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

easy go buy a test and take it, then next time to use protection, or better yet hold off until the guy marry's you , then you have nothing to be afraid of, besides that did you have this guy tested first for aids ? making sure he has a clean bill of health... just because he is clean looking, and no he would never have Aids he isn't the type.. well I have a friend who said the same thing, and guess what she has aids.

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

get a blood test or pee stick !

use condoms / pills for the next episode !

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

Hi M.!
I would reccomend going to a pregnancy resource center. They have free pregnancy tests and couselors who would love to talk to you! All of thier services are free and confidential. I am not sure where you are located but there is BirthChoice in San Marcos and PRC in Oceanside.
If you need the number to either of them, let me know. I have a DVD i would like to send, or give to you called romance without regret. Let me know if you are opent to receiving it.

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M.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is your period late? You need to take a pregnancy test. You should not be having sex until you are ready to have a baby. I know most people will say to wait until you are married, but most people don't. I didn't, but at least I was ready to have a baby. If you are under 18, and find out you are pregnant, talk to your parents.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi M., all's you can do at this point, is take a test, and go from there, don't worry until you know if you have something to worry about, if you are and he's a good guy, this could be a blessing, if he's not a good guy, then I'm sure your family friends will give you all the support you need. J. l.

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V.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello M.. first things first, go to Planned Parenthood and take a pregnancy done, free of charge. You will get the results almost immediately, and then you will know. There is no point stressing out about this if you are not. Or even if you are :) The good thing is you and your boyfriend used protection, so you might not be, but it also indicates a level of maturity - one that expresses the fact that you are aware of what can happen if you don't use one (moreso than pregnancy - which is always a blessing - is H.I.V. which turns into A.I.D.S., and of course, there are other STD's out there). Take a deep breath, and go to your closest Planned Parenthood clinic and ease your mind. It is preferred that you go after you miss a period, but I went and took one and found out that I was two weeks pregnant, so it is possible to find out sooner. The downside is, if you get it done too soon, or don't have high HCG levels (as was my case with my first two children), your test might not show up as positive, even though you are pregnant. I didn't find out for three months with each of my other children. Best of luck to you, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask :)

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

M. - you are only 17 - you shouldn't be having sex! But you have, so let's move on. When was your last period? You can go to almost any drug or grocery store and pick up a pregnancy test. Read the label and see how soon after a missed period you can take the test. If you are pregnant, PLEASE seek your parents help. If you are afraid, ask a teacher or family friend that you trust to accompany you. If you are NOT pregnant, then consider this a warning and STOP having sex! No matter how careful you are, you can still get pregnant. Trust me - I know - it happened to me. Don't have sex unless you are willing to accept that the end result may be a baby. Good luck and God Bless. Be sure and post and let us know the results.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

just take a test at the appropriate time and then decide what to do after you get the results. now if you dont want a pregnancy then you should have went to the dr for a morning after pill. good luck this is a tough issue to deal with.

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you used protection do not panic~~~~
and in the first place you should be worrying about school not boys...
You are to young and obviously at that age we do not always make the right things.
I think you should talk to your mother.
Or seek advice with your doctor.
Good luck to you :)

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A.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

This may go without saying, but here it is none-the-less. I would suggest picking up a pregnancy test from your local pharmacy. I don't know how long ago you two were intimate or when your last cycle was, but I would take a test at your first available opportunity once the test would be viable. That way you can begin to put your fears at ease. Also, if you believe something happened that would have made the protection fail, you may want to have a real honest discussion with your ex regarding your concerns. If it did turn out to be positive, it would be important for him to be supportive of you. You don't mention if you already have children, or if this would be your first, but know that it will work out regardless if you turned out to have a positive pregnancy test. If you don't feel you could keep the child, there are so many loving families out there that can't have a child of their own, they would be beyond blessed to have the opportunity to adopt the baby if you opted not to keep it yourself. I know I'm getting WAY ahead of things here, but I just want to reasure you that things will be just fine no matter what the outcome may be!!! I know that for me, when I feel scared or anxious about anything, I pray for guidance and peace. If you are a woman of faith, turn to that as there's no better solace than turning there!

All the Best to you!

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K.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

If you used protection you are "probably" safe. Accidents do happen though. All you can do is wait for your period. If it doesn't come take a test. If you are stressed out it could delay your period...so don't freak out until you take a test. If its negative you probably aren't pregnant. I found the first response tests to be the best. But they are all pretty much the same I guess.

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