Scared of the Dark - Ingleside,TX

Updated on November 17, 2006
C.B. asks from Ingleside, TX
15 answers

Hello everyone! My 3 1/2 year old is now scared of the dark and everything in it. I know toddlers go thru this phase but we are getting to the point of him wanting EVERYTHING taken out of his room. He is even scared of the air vent. He says he doesn't like his bed, which he really does love, he picked it out. It's all probably normal but with a 6 month old that breastfeeds and wakes me up once or twice at nite and Devin waking up 3 to 4 times a nite my hubby and I are just not getting enough sleep. Any ideas would be great!

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So What Happened?

Thank all of you so much for your advice!!!!! ;) We have given him a flashlight and changed his room around since he said that he didn't want to sleep in his bed where it was. My hubby says he doesn't want to do the "monster spray" cuz there are no monsters but we all know that mothers win ;) and I will try that as well. For those that thought it might be wanting attention cuz of the new baby, thank you. I did not even think of that. We had a talk with Devin and hopefully he understands we love him just as much. Again thanks to every1 so much!!!

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F.G.

answers from Austin on

C.,
I know a lot of children go through this phase, and a lot of children don't. It sounds to me that this one just wants attention, though because of the new baby. And he's getting it.

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K.

answers from El Paso on

My 4 1/2 year old daughter is also afraid of the dark (since she was a baby). We bought her a really cute Princess lamp that rotates and lights up her room in a nice pink glow, plus we put on music for her. I know the pink doesn't work for a boy, but you get the point. I got the lamp at Walmart, it was only about $10, and I know they have others. She sleeps with a ton of stuffed animals and we got her a dream catcher that she is convinced protects her from bad dreams, and we have to "clean" the dreams out of it every night. This all has really worked for me and my husband, and she sleeps in her own bed every night. I hope this at least gives you an idea or 2. Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Houston on

What I did was put a vcr and tv in my daughter's room when she was around that age and put in her favorite barney video. That helped her go to sleep and not be afraid of the dark. See if that helps. I think when the child has his/her favorite character in the room, s/he feels more at ease. It worked with my daughter, at least. Thanks

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M.C.

answers from Abilene on

i really do not know how to give u advice on this subject. but maybe u can try a couple of things . i don't know if i would help. but try it anyway. if he has a bed side lamp , maybe think about leavin it on or a night light. also if he has a small t.v. try leaving it on. i know that my daughter can't go to sleep or sleep during the night without some kinda of light or sound witout goin to sleep. let me know if thia might work for him.

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I saw someone on Ebay trying to auction off a vaccuum cleaner full of monsters that the lady and her child had vaccuumed up...thought that was cute idea- the vaccuuming of monsters not really the auctioning it off part LOL-

My oldest son went through this after we moved into a house and he swore there was a mean man in his room. We ended up switching bedrooms with him (2 bed 1 bath house, so not like we gave up a master suite or anything) and he was fine. Never had another problem. Not sure if he is in a new room or what.

Even if he is seeking a little more attention, there is nothing wrong with that. I saw someone suggested the spray bottle of monster spray and I have heard that works too...There is an old movie about monsters under the bed and the boy finally meets them and they are really nice (similar to MOnsters INC) Maybe watching something like that or reading a book with that concept could help to and give him that little extra attention if that is what he is seeking.

I would never downplay his fears, I think that causes trust issues later on. Hang in there...they grow up so fast, if anything he will mature out of the phase.;o)

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

My son was scared too, and lightning, and thunder too. We got him a dog flashlight at walmart. When you turn the light on, it growls and ruffs. The dark, ligtning and thunder are scared of his doggie light, and we are all happy again. We also told Chai to growl back at the thunder. He says "I'm not scared! GGGRRRRROOOOWWWWLLLLLL!!!" it's a little loud, but he loves being bigger than thunder. Best of luck honey.

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J.F.

answers from Little Rock on

Dear C.,
When my littlest one started this phase we got her a glowworm and a small can of lysol. we put a new label on the lysol (big letters = "MONSTER KEEP AWAY SPRAY") But you may want to use something a little less bold as the lysol they have a new one from febreeze I think. We did this when she was around three and even though she finally figured out the spray part and laughed about it she still opts to use a small lamp in her room at night. She is eleven now and sleeps better through the night.
Hope it turns out ok.
J. F

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B.E.

answers from Austin on

have you tried playing music in his room? my daughter is a light sleeper and if she doesn't have some kind of constant sound in her room she wakes up. We started playing music in her room (lulibies and her barbie sound track) and she goes to sleep much better now and stays asleep. Maybe the main problem you are having is that he is waking up during the night. She also has a little lamp that has a nice glow to it and not to bright.

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R.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Have you thought of getting his eyes checked? When I was small I was really scared of the dark and wanted thing out of my room also. What was really going on was my vision was bad and everything I saw wasn't clear and I was thinking someone or something was in there. For example my mom would iron my uniform for shcool and would hang it on the door and when I would look at it I would be scared...It looked as if it was a person/monster. Now my mom/dad would reassure me what it was,but until I got glasses it really didn't seem as it was. I did sleep with a night light and before I went to bed we would go over everything in my room such as this corner is all your doll, over there is your chair, and you get the idea reassure him it's all his things.
This may not be the case, but it's worth a try.

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T.G.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I saw this on Dr.Phil and tried it on my son who was 3 at the time. Get him to describe the monster like its tall, blue and has 6 eyes. Then get him to point out where the monster is hiding. You or your husband goes over to the monster and have a talk. Tell him he/she isnt welcome here and that they need to leave so Devin can go to sleep. We had to do this a few times b/c all the monsters didnt show up at once, but the monsters went away. We would hear Hunter in bed saying go away I'm not scared let me go night night. Hope it helps!

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D.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi C.. I went thru this same thing will all four of my children. Here's what I did that worked wonders....I made up "monster juice"....ha.

Get a clear plastic spray bottle and fill with colored water (I used whatever food coloring I had handy). Then I'd give it to them to "spray" when they were scared of the dark and monsters and viola -- within no time being scared of the dark and monsters went away....good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Houston on

I see you have had plenty of good advice so I'll try to keep mine short.
Have you thought about this being a manipulation tactic for him to have attention from you?
My son did that at about that age and so before bed I would have him go around with me and look in the closets, under the bed, in the vent, behind the curtain and all that so we could just get that done and over with.
I also bought a rechargable flashlight. I would check on him later and the light was on and he was asleep so I'd turn it off and recharge it the next day. That was the best few bucks that I've ever spent.
Good luck.

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R.T.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe let him go to sleep with his own flashlight? Or buy a special stuffed animal to protect him? A special super hero? I'm sure you already have a nightlight...

I think all kids go through this at some point. Can you stay with him until he falls asleep? Then, once he is asleep you can leave and he should sleep all night, hopefully.

Not great suggestions, sorry!

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K.E.

answers from Anchorage on

If he expresses to you that he is afraid of something "getting him" in the dark like monsters or what have you try making "monster spray" Just put water and some vanilla extract (or any soothing scent) in a spray bottle put a cute lable on the bottle and spritz it around the room before bed. Tell him the spray keeps the monsters away, gives him a force field or whatever it is he needs. This worked wonders for a little girl I used to babysit.

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J.A.

answers from San Antonio on

I have a scizophrenic brother who one day felt that he was being eaten by scorpions. I made him fake scorpion spray! I then realized that I could make a nightmare spray for my five year old! I mix a little tea tree oil (something safe for scent) and water and my five year old sprays it all over his room and under his bed. Not only does tea tree work in ridding dust mites, it works for little one's who are afraid too! It really works! I also tell my kids that there are angels surrounding them and they will protect them during the night. That works too! God and the spray work great together!

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