Scared of Baby Sitters...

Hi E.,

I know the feeling. I have worked as a nanny for many years simply so I myself wouldn't have to worry about hiring someone to watch my own children! I have met a lot of wonderful sitters and some not so great. The good ones are usually very expensive. I know because I am in the position of not being able to get out because I don't have family to watch my son for free and can't afford to hire someone. What about meeting up with some of the mothers on here and trading babysitting? I would be open for it with the right people. Might even be good for the kids especially if they are close in age.

my mom watched our son till he turned one. and i was always scared of putting him into daycare. and now since he has been in daycare which by the way he will be 3 in march just loves it there and we love it too. if we have another child we would take the newborn there too. he also is learning so much since he has been going. A.

I too was and am still scared of babysitters. I have heard too many horror stories. I dont think it is to bad to leave kids with a person who is 16+ I do not feel comfortable with anyone younger than 16. I dont know why? I was babysitting when I was 11. Also, just a bit of advice...never go to a daycare just because of the ad in the paper. I did this once, the ad said...Liscensed daycare/preeschool teacher. Lots of activities...blah blah blah. Long story short..Katie(3 at the time) would sit on the living room floor and watch cartoons all day. She was not allowed to sit on the furniture because "it would break", they ate lunch on the kitchen floor because there was not enough room at the table for all the kids, also they had peanut butter&chips or hotdogs&chips everyday, they were not allowed to do anything except sit and quietly watch cartoons. Emily(6months at the time) was kept in her carseat all day. I stopped leaving the seat, and she was then put in a highchair to sit all day. Not once did she do 'preeschool' things with the kids. there was a couple times that Katie told me that the babysitter left and her 17 year old daughter watched them all. (I think there was like 9 kids including Emily 6mo and another baby 3months) not that big of a deal..if she (the babysitter) would have let me know that this may happen. Needless to say, they did not go there very long. It was like 10 days.
I dont mean to scare you more than what you already are, just want to be sure no-one has to go through the same thing. Good luck in your search!

Myself and my brother were and to this day I have a 8 and 2 year old and have only used one teenage girl to watch my kids, but it was a close friends daughter. Plus her mom was around most times I droped them off there. I hate the fact that I have to leave my kids with some one else.

When I had my second daughter I has a c-section my mom stayed with me for 2 weeks and then I did the rest on my own. My mom would come over a few nights a week to help me out, but it worked out for me! Do you have any close girlfriends that you can trust? I just have a hard time leaving my baby with a teenager. Good Luck... Wish I could be of some help but know your not the only one!

I totally understand where you are coming from, and I was scared too. However, we have a neighbor who is 13 and we have had her over several times to watch my 7 1/2 mo. old. Best thing to do is find someone nearby and have him/her come over to observe you and the kids. Have the babysitter interact with your little girl. Best way to do this is to tell the babysitter you just need someone to keep eye on her while you get some stuff done around the house (laundry, cleaning, etc.). This way you can also observe how the babysitter interacts with your daughter without making it too obvious. You will then be able to decide if you are comfortable with this or not. Personally I would be less worried about a babysitter for a 3 yr. old than I would for a newborn. It was very hard for me to leave my baby with a teenager. Oh, and check to see if the teen has been through any safe sitting courses. And another thing--if you have him/her come over to watch your daughter while you are at home doing things don't pay as much. I usually pay 4-5 dollars an hour if I'm home and 6 dollars an hour when I'm away. Just work into it until you are comfortable. Just know you are not alone... there are plenty others out there who were scared... like me! :)

I was also scared! My 3 and 1 year old are my life! I had one horror of a babysitter, she was smoking cigarretts in her kitchen with the kids in her home, and I am against that.

I did put an ad in the Marsh Grocery store and I found a great teenager, We went to her home and met eveyone, got a tour of their home. I was satisfied. She watched them for 3 hours the first time and did a great job. She came to our home to watch them at night and she did a great job. We pay her more if she comes to our house, it is a lot easier for her to come to our home.

You just have to trust your instinct when it comes to a sitter, good ones are out there you just have to find them. Also get references and pay for a background check, you can also check the police station or get online and type in their name, also check out your county website for sex offerders, its scary but they are out there. GOOD LUCK and if you want to use mine just ask. She is great.

I personally am so terrified of babysitters. I went to Mexico for two weeks a couple years back, my son was 3 at the time, hired a sitter for when my husband was working. The girl was 16 years old, and she took him to a skateboard park, and let him ride on a skateboard. I came back and he had a huge gash over his right eye. This girl had strict instructions about where she could or couldn't take him who she could or couldn't have him around and so on. She was only allowed to take him outside around the courtyard of our apartments and no further, she violated all of my rules.

Anyhow, there are agencies around Indiana that can help put you in contact with certified babysitters that don't charge a whole lot. First call for help sent me a list of sitters and I went nad interviewed some sitters, and finally found one that was just fabulous. She was wonderful, took great care of my kids. I paid 72 dollars a week. Her husband started having some medical problems, and she had to stop sitting for a while. And i ended up having my husband's ex wife babysit my 5 year old during the summer. I only paid her 50 a week. She has four kids of her, two of them my step children. She also takes great care of my son.

The best options are to either call a local agency that can provide a list of child care providers, you can call the local trustee and ask them if they know of such agencies, or you can call the local wic office or welfare office, they should all be able to direct you. Or you can find a stay at home mother and maybe talk to her about watching your children. Some teenagers are responsible, most however can easily get distracted or bored or talked into making some not so good decisions.

E.
I was scared as well....but if you are just going to dinner and a movie (3 hours max) you should be okay but I always had a neighbor kind of keep an eye on my house and let me know if there was any funny business, or you can buy a "nanny cam" and keep watch on the teen u hire to watch your little ones. This is something we have all been through and once you find a person you can trust it puts your mind at ease. I always call home to check like every 30 minutes or so. I know I know I was a insecure mother but wanted to be safe than sorry. Good luck with this.

It's not just you...My daughters are 10 & 8 and I refuse to get a teen babysitter. If my family doesn't keep them then I don't go or I wait until the weekend they go with their dad. I had issues with letting them go with him at first.
Ask your moms if they would be willing to come to your house for the night. Make it worth her while (rent movies she likes, have her kind of drinks & food etc.) You will find they are more then willing to sit with the kids at your home most of the time...and because they get to be with the babies! ;o)

I know that feeling. I just recently started getting out of the house and had to submit to hiring a babysitter other than a family member. It's a little scary at first, but honestly, so long as the person has experience with children that age, and they know how to contact you, it should be fine. Eventually we all have to cave and have someone other than family watching the kids as I recently found out. I am currently using a 13 year old neighbor to watch my kids. despite her age, she handles my two little ones really well. I think age is kind of a safety thought for most parents, but frankly speaking I know of 23 year olds who act 12 and 12 year olds who act 23. All I can really tell you is it's natural... if you really want to be sure, sit in with the potential sitter with the kids for a couple hours. See how she handles everything. Once you're comfortable with it, go out. I called every hour the first night I went out. I was so worried about leaving my little ones. It's natural.

Babysitters can be rough. I've been there done that many times. To be quite honest...I've had better luck with teenages than I have with adults...frightening isn't it? Regardless of the age of the sitter, get to know everything that you possably can about them. Have them start coming before you go back to work so you can observe them with your children and give your children time to warm up to them. Also, if you can afford it, I have 2 words for you...Nanny....cam. It's a little bitty camera that you can hide just about anywhere...then you will know exactly what happened when you were gone. If not you have a 3 year old little girl I see...does she talk well? Is she comfortable telling you anything and everything? Because toddlers are like little tape recorders...they repeat everything. Do not ever skip over doing a reference check and a back ground check. In the county that I live in, in Indiana, there's a website where you can actually go check court records...all you need is the person's name and you can see if they've been arrested in your county for anything and it's free. Or call your local police department and tell them that you're considering hiring this person to sit for your kids but first you want see if they've been arrested for anything...they won't be able to tell you what they've been arrested for if anything pops up, but they should be able to tell you "yes this person has a record" or "no this person doesn't have a record." I know that looking for a sitter can be intimidating...especially in this day with all the people involved with cps and what not...and yes there alot of bad ones out there, but there are good ones as well. I have my kids in daycare at a Baptist church and they are absolutely wonderful...they take excellent care of my kids. Hiring a teen to babysit is just like hiring anybody else..you just have to watch who you get. When I use a teen I use between the ages of 12 and 15 because they will usually work harder with my kids because babysitting is the only kind of job they can really get at that age...and when I hear of others looking for a sitter so they can go out I tend to hook them up really well, increasing their income. Good luck. I was 12 when I started babysitting..one of the parents that I sat for was a single alcholic mom. More often than not I would spend the night at her house so I could get the school aged kids ready for school, and the baby fed and clothed, wake her up to sit with the baby, walk the little ones off to school, go to school myself, pick her kids up from school, walk them home, she would go out drinking and I would sit there with them. I fed them, bathed them, did laundry, cleaned the house, got them to bed at a reasonable time and this went on for about 3 months until her ex-husband finally got into court to get custody. Another couple I sat for, he was a doctor in the E.R. and she was in the lab. I was the only sitter she could keep because she had 4 wild kids and everybody else quit on her. I saw and quickly understood the needs of her children and was able to calm them down and keep them busy while she was gone. I understand your fear, just look closely and carefully.