Saying Bye, Bye to the paci...what Is the Best Way to Do It?

Updated on August 16, 2010
J.S. asks from Chicago, IL
20 answers

Hi ladies,

My little lady is 21 months old and I want her to be done with the paci by her 2nd birthday...just a few months away. She only gets it for naptime and bedtime, and then if she is ever really upset, as it helps calm her down.

Lately she has been asking for it more and more, and I know it is kind of our fault, because we went out of town and gave it to her when she was not happy, just to make the trip a little less hectic and stressful. Ahhh..now we are paying the price.

Anyhow, I would like her to give it up in the next couple of months, and I was wondering if you all had any suggestions on what worked for your kiddos.

Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

wow...so many awesome ideas! thank you ladies so much for responding to my next big step with our little girl. she is getting so big, and i am ready for her to give it up. we have done great at cutting back on letting her have it when she asks for it, and are back to just naps and bedtime. soon enough, the paci fairy or something will have them all...yay!

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

We cut x's into the end. Once it lost the 'suck' it lost its appeal and he would tell us it was broken. Every time he found a hidden one, we x'ed it. By the end, we told him they were "All broken, I'm sorry, there's no more". He held on to it for a couple of days (but no sucking on it) and finally threw it away on his own.

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Both my boys got rid of the pacifier on their own around 4 months of age, but my sister-in-law swears by the method already mentioned of cutting the tip. Her son (just over a year old) was done with it in a matter of days. Best of luck!

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J.C.

answers from Lake Charles on

We took our daughter to Build-a-Bear. She picked out an animal and when we put the heart inside the animal and stuffed it, we also put the pacifier in there. She was able to dress the animal and she knew that when she wanted her pacifier, all she had to do was hug her animal. It worked for us, good luck to you!!

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L.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

You really want to get rid of the paci once and for all (Cold Turkey)just gather them all up and throw them away if not you'll give in another day then days then weeks then oh my too old of a toddler still with a paci.

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

We did the 'paci fairy' - we talked about it for several weeks and told him that the fairy would be visiting soon. The night we chose - we took the paci during the night and replaced it w/ some gifts from the 'fairy'. At first he was very excited about the presents - which wore off and he missed his paci. But that didn't last too long and all was well.

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

We went through the same thing and our daughter had that binky in mouth 24/7. When I saw her front teeth starting to jutt out a little, that was it. Around 2 years of age, I started prepping her, talking about the binky fairy who asks that big girls give their binkies to little infants. We spoke about it often for probably two months. Then one day, a beautiful letter arrived from the binky fairy (made it myself). The fairy requested that we wrap up all the binkies and put them in the mailbox. We ceremoniously did this on the day the letter said to. Two days later, another letter arrived from the fairy, with a photo of a newborn baby (my co-worker had just had a child, what luck!), her name, etc. that the binkies had gone to. The letter thanked our daughter for being so kind, etc. Totally worked like a charm!! I thought we might have a couple weeks of difficulty, but it was more like two days and she was over it. I also bought her a really cute treasure chest full of dress-up clothes to take her mind off the binkies and to reward her for being such a big girl!

Oh, and our daughter totally cherished that photo letter of the baby that the binkies went to and she carried it around for quite a while and would show people who her binkies went to. It was really cute and I'm glad that I did a follow-up like that.

Good luck!!

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R.G.

answers from Fayetteville on

With my first daughter she was around 18 months old when we got rid of her binky. We took her into the kitchen where the garbage was and we told her that she is getting to be a big girl now and that it was time to throw her binky into the garbage so the garbage man can take it away. We gave her the binky to throw it away by herself. Which she did. That night she did ask for it and we reminded her that she threw it away. She was surpisingly ok with it which I did not think that she would be since she loved her binkies. I think that since we gave her the power to throw it away by herself and did not do it for her she was alright with it. Good luck on whatever you do.

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N.M.

answers from San Francisco on

We cut the very tip off the paci so it would not suck properly anymore. It worked like a charm for both my kids. My son in particular--he tried to use it, looked at it all funny, declared it broken, and decided he didn't want it. It made it feel like his own decision. I let him keep the "broken" paci just in case he needed to remember that it was broken, but it didn't take long for it to end up in the trash. He was 18 months. No crying at all.

My daughter was just over 2 years when we cut her tip, and while it worked for her too, she didn't mind using the "broken" paci at first. We just kept cutting a little more off each day so it got shorter and shorter until she decided it just wasn't worth it. But for a long time she would look at pictures of her with her binky and speak lovingly of it. She was sorry it broke, but we didn't have to deal with any tears. I'm not sure if the difference was that she was a bit older, or if it was because she was even more addicted than my son.

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

It's not easy to get rid of the pacifier or even the thumb but what I did with my last one, who was allowed to have the pacifier longer that my others, was to let her throw it away herself. She saw it go in the trash compacter and knew it was gone so when she asked for it that night I said, " Remember you threw it away" That was the end of it and the other times when I threw it away ( actually just put it away, she cried and cried for it and I gave in. I don't know if you little girl is old enough to reason with this approach but it's worth a try. She is a bit young compared to my last one who was nearer to 3 years old. My advice is to not panic and make it traumatic as it will be gone someday for sure.

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E.C.

answers from Kansas City on

i let my son have his binky for far too long, you dont want to know (4!!!) (he had GERD, and it soothed him when nothing else would, and then when i was getting ready to take it away, his dad left us and there was a long time of change so i let him keep it for security) any how what i did was have a "bye bye binky" party where we gathered up ALL of his binkies, wrapped them up like a present. (make sure to let ur child have a significant park of this), and invited some of our friends who had kids over and had a party. We had balloons and streamers in our house, and i had made a cake, and had a friend that was going to have a baby come over and my son presented her with his binkies as a gift for the new baby. (im quite sure she threw them away when she got home lol). later we had the cake and sang "no more binkies for you, no more binkies for you, no more binkies for (child's name), no more binkies for you" to the birthday melody. then he got to blow out the 1 candle.
When you do get rid of them, make sure to get ALL of the binkies, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. My son asked for a binky for about 1 week after that (not the first day though) and i said we didnt have anymore, that he gave them to so and so for the new baby. He cried for a while, or talked/sang himself to sleep (so late sometimes that if i had a binky, i would have given in because i wanted to sleep so bad!), but it wasnt very long before he stopped asking completely. oh, and while he was asking for them, i avoided going into the part of the store where they were on the shelves. since your daughter is turning 2, this would probably work really well right after her birthday, because she would associate the fun of her birthday with this party too. (also you can reuse the decorations from her paryt! and you dont have to have a store bought cake, you can have ur daughter help you make one and let her help decorate it!)

what ever you chose to do, good luck :)

I really like the idea of the build a bear thing, but at the time, it would have cost too much for me.

oh, and dont listen to people who tell you that your child is too old for a binky. that is YOUR decision, not theirs and unless you ask them for their opinion of an appropriate age to get rid of it, they can stick their opinion, and their advice where the sun doesn't shine.

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K.F.

answers from St. Louis on

Our daughter was really hooked, too, but as she got older, she'd take out her paci while playing and forget where she put it. I'd grab it up and put it away. When she asked for it, I would remind her that she lost it while she was playing, and that we would "keep an eye out for it". I would also tell her that I could tell what a big girl she was if she took it out while she played and forgot about it, and that it meant she probably didn't need pacis any more. Once they were all missing, anytime she asked we would remind her that she lost them while playing and that we would keep looking for them. She never even did bother to look by herself, and soon stopped asking. Good luck to you!

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M.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Our son loved his paci and the bottle too, and we had a really hard time to get him to give them up. I think he was a few months over 2 when he chewed off the tip of his paci, and at that point he didn't want it anymore, so he gave it up pretty easily then. We had to be tougher with the bottle but he gave it up much easier when he was finally ready (also a late developer, about 2 1/2 y/o then!). His teeth are just fine, so don't worry about that. Make sure you have an alternate security item for her to take the place of the paci, and then just gently urge her along, but don't stress too much about it. They detect fear in us and jump on it! Good luck, she'll be fine!

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L.C.

answers from Kansas City on

MY niece and then my daughter-in-law invented then paci-fairy. (Like a tooth fairy). You suggest to the chikld that the he/she leaves the paci on the table and in the morning the paci-fairy will have left a surprise. He/she is a big boy/girl and the fairy collects paci's from big children. The child willingly leaves the paci and is thrilled in the morning to get something. My niece left an inexpensive truck. My d-i-l got more carried away.

No tears! Everyone is happy.

S.B.

answers from Topeka on

Cold Turkey. Ha ha. Good Luck. You can get her off it but she won't be happy for a while. She will learn adjust. Try taking it away at nap time first. She will cry but you have to remind her she is a big girl. You have to be strong and just let her cry it out. Don't sit in the room with her or she will learn to take your presence in the place of the pacifier. When you got that down, take it away at night and do the same thing.
I would not be in any rush. We never did the pacey thing, but we did the bottle thing and it was very hard to finally get them off of it. But my two oldest are in school... without their bottles... ha ha... so it is not like they are going to be attached to it forever.
Good Luck =)

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S.B.

answers from Lincoln on

I hear what you're saying. 2 yrs is the "no-paci deadline". My little one had two paci's which were used for naps and night time and I cut a slit into one - and he throws that one out -- so I threw it away. One left to go and I think I will start poking holes in it little by little till it's not appealing anymore. I really do like the "Build-a-Bear" idea from one of the posts.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Well my son dropped his last one in the toilet. I told him it was his last one when he dropped it in there and that he couldn't have it back since toilet water is yucky. So I guess my method was just not replacing them. He just had to give them up cold turkey. It was a pretty crappy few weeks of him getting used to not having one. Thankfully he's finally forgotten all about them!

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T.A.

answers from Wichita on

We started by telling our daughter that she was a big girl now and that her 'sucker' had to stay in her bed. That worked fine. She could have it for naps & bedtime, but not walking around with it. This helped too with naptime, since usually when she wanted her sucker it was because she was tired. After that routine, we started well in advance of her birthday telling her she would be a big girl then and wouldn't need her sucker anymore. (You can choose whatever event you would like, we just used the birthday because it's a pretty noticable milestone for a toddler.) We didn't take it away on the day of the birthday, because she was tired from the events of the day (never try something new with a tired toddler, wait until they are well rested). The next day, we reminded her all day that she was a big girl and no more suckers so that she would remember at bedtime. We put her down and she cried for a bit and begged "Please, Mommy, please!" but it only lasted about 10 minutes or less. I'm sure it was harder on me than on her. The next night it was only about 5 minutes and the third night, she asked and I reminded her she was a big girl now and didn't need a sucker anymore and that was it. We never heard about the sucker again. All in all, it was much easier than we thought it would be. Good Luck!!

B.F.

answers from Kansas City on

I tried everything with my son and nothing worked until one day we couldn't find it for nap. I knew it had fallen beyween his bed frame and mattress but he didn't. Then it dawned on me and I said to him the binky fairy must have come in the night and taken it cuz she thought he was too big for it. Then I got some money and put it under his pillow and had him check. He got a new toy and only asked for it for his nap and bedtime that day. I reminded him that the fairy took it cuz he was a big boy now. It worked for us. Good luck!

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E.C.

answers from Fayetteville on

my little sis gave her paci to santa, my parent told her other babies needed one and santa would take it to them...she left it for santa christmas eve and was fine no problems after.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I didn't use pacifiers but if I did, I'd have that thing out of the house by 6 months of age. My opinion is that they really don't need it after 6 months old. My daughter sucked her thumb as an infant and I tried to break her of it at 6 months by not letting her suck it anymore, but it didn't work! But that's another story...LOL My aunt cut the tips off the pacifiers and the kids didn't want it anymore after that. I'm not sure if you like that idea but you could always just say.... "Now that you're grown up, we don't need that paci anymore...." Be cheerful and fun. Good luck! =)

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