Santa Tradition Debate…HELP!

Updated on December 23, 2008
E.L. asks from Fort Worth, TX
20 answers

OK Ladies, I need your help, my husband and I have very different ideas about Santa and how the gift giving tradition works.

When I was little, all of the gifts accumulated under the tree and they were from my parents. We were allowed to open 1 gift on Christmas Eve and when we woke Christmas morning, there was 1 really big gift (usually unwrapped) from Santa.

When my Husband was little, there were no gifts from Mom and Dad and nothing under the tree until Christmas morning. EVERYTHING was from Santa.

Please help… Mom or Dad, how did you grow up? In addition to our Christian beliefs, I want the Santa thing to be fun for 2 and 4 year old boys!

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

Growing up, presents didn't go under the tree until Christmas Eve, while everyone was sleeping. We got presents from Mom and Dad and from Santa. My husband is Bolivian and their tradition is to do everything on Christmas Eve, including opening all their presents, so he didn't have Santa come with presents. We compromised and we will do family presents on Christmas Eve, but Santa will still come in the night and we will do Santa presents on Christmas morning. You could do the same and have Mom and Dad gifts on Christmas Eve and Santa gifts on Christmas.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Do what is right for You.....

When I grew up there was family Christmas on Christmas Eve and always a present or 2 that we had to wait until Christmas morning to unwrap.

On Christmas morning, there were unwrapped presents and filled stockings from Santa.

My daughter is soon to be 14. We have family (just us 3) Christmas on Christmas Eve night. On Christmas monrning, she can see that Santa has been here because he always left the gifts at the bottom of the steps in a display area so she could see them. I'll admit...sometimes I wrapped the Santa stuff (in a new rool of paper she had not seen) and sometimes we just put big bows on them.

Happy Holidays!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

Well...When I was growing up we did Christmas almost exactly like your family. Lots of presents under the tree, one or two big things with our stocking from Santa and unwrapping one present on Christmas Eve. For some reason we do it the other way for our boys. Most everything comes from Santa, a small present under the tree from mom and dad. I do try to find a good present to open Christmas Eve (usually from my brother). Also, Santa left unwrapped presents when I was growing up. A couple of Christmas's ago my older son was disappointed that he didn't unwrap Santa's presents (I understand), so Santa now wraps his presents (with his own paper, of course!)

Anyway, here's my take on the whole thing. You love your way b/c that's what you know, the same goes with your husband. You both have great memories that go along with your tradition, that's why you want that for your sons. But your son's have clean slates. About anything you do will be fun for them, they don't know any other way. Also, follow their lead, if something doesn't seem to work as well, just change it up a little the next year. What's important is that they have good family memories to associate with whatever Christmas tradition you choose.

Hope y'all have a Merry Christmas!!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I knew Santa was a hoax from the beginning. There was never any Santa in my house. All of my gifts came from my family - my dad's logic was that he did not want to lie to me about things I couldn't see (Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy) because when I found out I would be less trusting - and might somehow doubt him about Jesus Christ, who is also not visible.

So he was Santa, the EB, and the TF - I still got presents / eggs/ money - I didn't especially care who brought them.

My husband grew up in a family like yours - Santa brought about half the presents, though. Until - and even after - he and I married, Santa brought a huge chunk of his children's presents. Thankfully, they knew there was no Santa Claus by the time mine were old enough to know one way or the other. We compromised - and coming from two drastic ends of the spectrum, it's a pretty awesome compromise.

We do Santa, but do not pretend that he is anyone other than someone in this house... typically Daddy. We get an Angel off the tree at Wal-Mart or the courthouse and we each become Santa for another child. Some years we do the Christmas Jar and become Santa for a whole other family (we either pick from our friends having hard times, or get a name from the Church or the School). As they've gotten older, we look at Christmas traditions in other countries and "where santa claus came from".

My point is that we have a HUGELY good time with Santa, without ever 'lying' to our kids. Santa is a tradition in our family, not any one single person... and this year, when money was so tight that a lot of what they unwrap is necessary school supplies and underwear, and our donating consisted of more time at the food bank and a couple of thoughtfully chosen items to the USMC toy drive, I don't have to feel bad about not preserving "Santa" for my children.

Merry Christmas
S.

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S.

answers from Dallas on

We play a game called "Christmas Eve Gift."
The first person to say "Christmas Eve Gift" on Christmas Eve gets to open a present....the rest are saved for Christmas morning.
Each child gets 3 gifts from Mom and Dad...just like Jesus. Santa brings one "big one" unwraped and stuffs the stockings with small treats and gift cards.
My son is 9 and still believes in Santa becase "there is no way Mom and Dad could afford what Santa brings every year." kinda cute :)
We make a birthday cake for Jesus too. My son has always decorated it...but this year my daughter is 2.5. She will probably help too.

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E.S.

answers from Dallas on

When I was growing up my parents would have some presents under the tree, but when we woke up on Christmas morning the entire living room floor would be covered with presents. There would always be one BIG gift for each of us unwrapped with a big bow from Santa and then all the rest of the gifts were wrapped. The Santa gifts were wrapped in different paper than gifts that were from Mommy and Daddy. It seems like half the gifts were from Santa and half from my parents. My husband grew up with a more modest Christmas and he said he would receive a few gifts from his parents wrapped and one or two things from Santa left under the tree unwrapped.

With our son's first Christmas my husband and I definitely had some disagreements about how Christmas would be in our home, but he quickly realized how much it means to me to continue my family's tradition so he gave in. Now each of my children get one BIG gift(ie:bike, scooter, motorized car) unwrapped with a big red bow and then they get about 20 or so gifts from Santa. He wraps everything in brown shipping paper with green and red curling ribbon. Then they get about the same amount of gifts from Mommy and Daddy. After presents we do stockings and Santa always fills the stocking with their favorite treats and then he leaves a bottle of their favorite drink on the mantle next to their stocking holder.

Christmas time is my most cherished childhood memory, but it's not just about the gifts. I remember my parents always had Christmas music playing in the car and at home the entire month of December and my mom would decorate the entire house with garland and lights. My dad was always in the kitchen making homemade candies and cookies while my mom cooked tons of food and every weekend my parents would pile us up in the car with hot chocolate in hand so my dad could drive us around to look at all the Christmas lights.

Anyway, my point is I'm sure that even without all the gifts I would feel the same about Christmas. I think the more important thing is to just make a decision and stick with it. It's about creating family traditions and memories that will stay with your litte ones for life. Good luck and Merry Christmas!

1 mom found this helpful

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

What we did is in between what you and your husband did. We had gifts under the tree from family. Then on Christmas morning, there were a couple of unwrapped presents (usually bigger ones, since they're hard to wrap) and the stockings from Santa. I love seeing all the presents under the tree leading up to Christmas, but we reserve some of the presents to be from Santa.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

We always got a combo of gifts - some from Santa and some from my parents. In the end, this worked out well because the kids gave presents to their parents (usually homemade ones) and it wouldn't have made any sense if we gave presents to our parents but they didn't give presents to us in return. Christmas gift giving is a good time to teach children about giving to others and not just getting, getting, getting. Also, when I was 7 or 8, I noticed that Santa's handwriting on the tags of my gifts looked suspiciously like my parents' handwriting. That's how I figured out that my parents were really Santa, that he wasn't real and that saved my parents the agony of explaining it to me.

Presents NEVER accumulated under the tree at my house growing up, regardless of who they were from or when they were received. My parents didn't put presents under the tree until Christmas Eve because (1) when we were young, it was too much of a temptation and we'd pester our parents endlessly about opening them early and (2) for security reasons, my parents didn't put presents under the tree because if someone broke into our home, all the presents would be right there, ready to be taken. If they were hidden in closets or in the garage, a robber would have to look for them or just take other non-presents. Plus, they look to easy and tempting if a robber looked in the window and saw presents under the tree already.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read all of your responses, but just thought I would throw my two cents in.
I think for little kids it's more fun for them to wake up Christmas morning and see a whole bunch of presents under the tree that weren't there the night before. I think that brings out the excitement of Santa and Christmas if they wake to a bunch of gifts.
My husband and I always had the debate of wether to wrap Santa's gifts or not. I didn't think it made sense to wrap Santa's present. Santa's busy he doesn't have time to wrap every little gift for every kid in the world. But we do wrap them, just because my husband likes to have wrapped presents. (Whatever - As long as I don't have to wrap all of them, doesn't really matter to me.)
Merry Christmas!

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

When I was a kid- we did it exactly like you. All wrapped under the tree and santa brought the big gift. We also opened one on christmas eve. Today, that is how we do it with our children also. Happy Holidays

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

We got one or two things from mom and dad and the rest was from Santa. Maybe you should compromise and do it this way. Your kids would fell kind of bad knowing you bought for everyone except them.

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E.S.

answers from Dallas on

We had Christmas like your husband's family. We had no gifts under the tree, or just the few that were for grandparents and stuff, but on Christmas morning we woke to a bunch of gifts under the tree. We were speechless with excitement!!!! To go from no gifts to what seemed like tons was SO FUN!!! They were all from Santa. Seems really boring to look forward to Santa coming for weeks and then he only leaves one gift. There was no need for our parents to give us gifts, Santa was coming!!!! We always do fun things with our son like hiding a new bike in the garage so after all the gifts are opened we will send him in the garage for something and he will yell, "MOMMY!!!!! LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT ME!!!!!!!" It is really fun!

All gifts are wrapped. Santa stuff is in different paper than what we bought for others.

BTW, our son goes to a Catholic School (so did I) and is huge believer in God so there is no issue about that. I know some people are worried that their children will think God isn't real like Santa wasn't.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Thanks for your post. My husband and I had the same debate last night. Our daughters are 2 years and 3 months. Last night he tells me he would like to have all gifts from us opened on Christmas Eve and then only those gifts from Santa an Christmas morning. I LOVE Christmas and this just isn't "acceptable". Remembering Christmas when I was little I feel we should wait and open all gifts/stockings on Christmas morning. My attempt at compromise was that we open one gift on Christmas Eve. I feel like opening on Christmas Eve will take away the anticipation and excitement leading to the Christmnas Day. I also think we might have a problem letting our two year old open her gifts that evening and then expect her to go to bed. She will want to stay up, and "Santa" needs time to assemble and leave her gifts under the tree. These posts have helped, hopefully we can meet somewhere in the middle, but I am really hoping he will just let me have this one... ;)

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

Compromise.

Put some under the tree, but more unwrapped from Santa out.

We discussed all this before our children were born and again when the first was a baby.

Come up with your own tradition, not his or hers. And be flexible.

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S.

answers from Dallas on

We did it your way and still do today for mine. We have gifts from mommy and daddy under the tree. Christmas eve they get to open a small gift then santa fills the stockings and leaves a unwrapped toy.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Compromise. We have a few gifts from us and they are wrapped if possible. My son is getting a bike this year from us and that won't be wrapped. We have a big red Santa bag that my MIL got at Bed, Bath, and Beyond that we put Sants's gifts in unwrapped for Christmas morning. Then we have wrapped gifts from other family memebers, too. As a child we opened a gift on Christmas Eve, but in my family now we don't do that. Both my boys get new pj's for Christmas Eve, so those replace the opening a gift.

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R.E.

answers from Dallas on

We have presents under the tree from us (and the pets) to the kids. Santa will bring 1-2 items unwrapped that he puts in front of the tree. I don't wrap them for a couple reasons. 1. Santa usually brings the presents that are more fun to find put together like a bike or a scooter. and 2. I am afraid my son will find the wrapping paper and start asking questions. THat's the way we've always done it at my house even when I was a kid (husband too). As for Christmas Eve, I used to have the boys open new pajamas on Christmas Eve, but I've found that they like having their Christmas-y jammies for the whole month so they can wear them more often. On Christmas Eve, the boys get to open a couple presents for our dogs (usually a bag of treats and a bag of bones, but this year they are both getting new collars and tags).

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T.A.

answers from Dallas on

I am with you. That is how we grew up. Pj's Christmas Eve, and Santa big gift Christmas day and stocking, the presents from our parents and family went out whenever they were wrapped..and opened them Christmas day. With little kids, for us, it is just a few days before Christmas, little difficult to keep them away from the tree. Honestly, I would not want to risk my kids finding the wrapping paper that "Santa" used to wrap the gifts..to much to worry about. Or the pressure of hiding lots of gifts one gift is hard enough as it is...then spending your Christmas Eve wrapping Santa's gifts...to much pressure. I like simple, less stress. So I am with you E.. I enjoyed reading other peoples traditions. But really either way you decide enjoy making your new family traditions with your husband. Merry Christmas!

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like the debate at my house every year! I grew up in a house where we opened one present on Christmas eve that our parents picked out, and it was always Christmas PJs. There were wrapped presents under the tree and we knew those were from mom, dad, etc.... Santa would come and would NOT wrap anything and that way we got the initial WOW factor of seeing everything out all at once and knowing "THAT is what Santa brought us". My hubby's family did the same, except their Santa wrapped all of his presents with 'Santa' wrapping paper. My logic, Santa is WAY too busy to wrap every present!! I've won every year!!

We thought about adopting a tradition we heard about from a friend. Santa will only bring three gifts from now on, because the wise men brought only 3 gifts to Jesus. Teaches a lesson and cuts down on the cost a bit!! Good luck with whatever you decide!!

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I actually grew up with your husband's tradition but preferred my husband's which is the same as yours. We pick 2-3 things that are from Santa and leave unopened and wrap the rest from us. We also tell them that their Santa list has to be approved by us and that we fund Santa. I just don't want them thinking that everyone gets everything they want free. I would never want them to make a less fortunate child feel bad. We of course always donate to toy drives every year. Good luck figuring out your joint tradition.

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