Sahms Returning to the Workforce

Haven't done it myself. A close girlfriend just did though.

She put childcare in place two weeks before her start date and orchestrated her days as though she were going to work. Getting up early, dressing as if for the office, dropping kids off at daycare, keeping busy from 9-5 (brushing up skills, updating her wardrobe etc). She took a 45 minute lunch, by the clock, limited herself to 2 5 minute personal calls. Left as if she were leaving at closing time collected the kids, did homework, dinner, the evening routine etc.
She was getting her kids and herself acclimated to the new routine, and working out the bumps.

She practiced her commute during rush hours, and looked for viable back street ways of doing things. She readied extra portions of stuff, and made sure that she was well stocked with snacks that the kids could handle themselves (apple sauce, those fruit veggie pouches, long lasting fruit (apples and oranges), crackers, pretzels. She made freezer meals.

My SAHM friend was similarly sized to me, I loaned her 5 suits and a handful of shells. She made these last 3 weeks by mixing and matching. By that point, she had a better idea of what the office required, and was able to shop to update her work attire.

In addition to child care, figure out who your back up provider will be in case your kid is sick, needs a lift to the doctor, etc.

took her about 21 days to get initially acclimated, 3 months to feel like she was nearly on top of things.

Best,
F. B.

PS-

By way of addition. You might want to ready your kids. Tell them that you are going back to work because you want to. Because working is important to you and to your health and wellbeing. Explain that there will be some changes afoot, you think they are smart and clever and will embrace the excitement, grow, and change into more independent self sufficeint people.
Let them know, in a way that they might understand that if you are happy and fulfilled, you will be a better parent to them.

Also, declutter, your house, your mind, your schedule. Never hurts to come to change from a place of simplicity and strength.

The first thing you need to do is adjust expectations - about everything. Your house will not be as clean and tidy - nor will your kids. You'll eat more take-out than you think you will, and you'll be tired - most of hte time. You'll feel like you can't give your kids, your husband or your work the level of dedication each needs - and your'e right. Dependindg on yours and your husband's earnings level and tax bracket you may not bring any additional realy income into your home by going back to work. Your earnings may bring your family income just into the next higher tax bracket and when you add in the cost of daycare, work clothes, transportation cost - you may end up reducing real family income.

Still feel like going back to work? Assuming you make a decent salary and it makes sense monetarily to do so there are ways to make things easier -
1- Get everything ready the night before. Lay out both yours and children's outfits for the day. Make lunches - including your own. Before babies we have the extra money to buy lunches. Not any more. But it's nice to have what you want to eat available instead of what's in the cafeteria or deli near the office. Getting things ready the night before is key. It makes for a far more smooth morning. EVen if you have to delayt bed-time by 15 minutes to get it all set up for the morning - you'll never be all that wide-awake in the morning.

2 - See if you can find P/T work. After my 2nd child was born I never went back F/T - and he's almost 15. When I worked full time we had a cleaning lady & landscapers come each week. But I'd rather do the cleaning and be the one to pick up the kids from school and hear about their day - even do homework with them. But if you have to work F/T consdier a cleaning lady - at least once every other week - to do the heavy cleaning like the bathroom and kitchen.

3 - prepare dinners in batches when you cook. If you're making chili on a saturday make 3 times as much and freeze the extra in a couple/few different containers. Grill a few packages of chilcken cutlets on a saturday morning and freeze them too. They make dinner so much easier (cut up & tossed with pasta, quesadillas in the microwave, on salad, or a hamburger roll, etc. )

4 - Realize that even though you're going to be picking up your pace that your husband won't do much additional work aroudn the house without your asking, encouragement and prodding. Most men don't have the same standards of cleanliness / neatness that their wives do - so they don't feel the need to run the vacuum or fold laundry while they zone out on TV at night. This will aggravate you to no end. He won't look around and see what needs to be done and do it. Guys don't work that way. My husband would never assume someone needs help & step in and help them - he considers it an insult to the other person to assume they need help. So I;ve learned to ask specifically. "Honey can you please give Bobby a bath while I clean up dinner? Please wash his hair, face & private parts..."
Decide ahead of time that you'll need to encourage him like a little kid - ask nicely, give lavish praise & thanks afterwards, etc. Seems stupid that you have to do so (no one thanks you for folding the laundry) but it works and it keeps the peace. Saying a few words never killed anyone.

5 - Cut yourself some slack. When the kids go to bed take a shower and go to bed yourself. The sink doesn't have to be empty in order to crawl into bed. It would be nice - but it's not required. When my kids were little I used to say "something's got to give and it's not going to be my sanity & well-being". Let it be the toys on the floor.

6 - Realize that this is a season in your life - it's not forever. Your kids are only toddlers or preschoolers or 1st graders or middle-schoolers at that one time in their (& your) life. You'll only have this time once. So decide what's most important - sitting down with them at bed-time to read or getting dishes in the dishwasher? I really miss cuddling with them at bedtime reading a book and saying prayers...

7 - Ultimately whatever you do will work out just fine and no one will be scarred for life. Good luck mama!

I teach at a university and worked as an adjunct instructor (usually just 1 class each semester) before coming on board full-time. So I had the advantage of already knowing the job.

"How did you adjust?" - I really enjoyed my job, so I tried to focus on the job. I trusted that my oldest was having a good time at school and my youngest was in good hands at daycare. I did worry about them, but I tried not to let myself dwell on things I could not control. I tried to focus on my job.

"What did you do to prepare?" - I secured daycare for my youngest and after care (same location) for my oldest. My husband and I had a plan - I took care of the morning routine, he took care of picking them up and feeding them and I did baths, books and bed. It was an adjustment for my husband (taking care of the kids for a few hours before I got home from work), but it was good for him. It really helped him bond with the kids, and it was good for him to better understand all that I had done while I was a SAHM.

"Was it hard for you?" - It was an adjustment, and there were times I had my doubts about whether or not I did the right thing for my kids. But my income really does help the family. Also, I have my summers off, so I can't complain about that!

"What did you do for daycare if you went back full time?" - I talked to friends, neighbors, people at church, etc. I chose a daycare center that had after care for school age kids, as my oldest was already in school full-time. He rides the school bus there after school. This turned out to be a very good choice for us, not only because it's a really good daycare center, but because our youngest is in daycare with his future classmates. Also, he was able to ride the bus to the elementary school for PreK.

"I mean everything from getting a job to planning your wardrobe for work?" - Since I was going from part-time to full-time, there wasn't as much planning for me to do. I'm probably in the minority, but I don't think about wardrobe that much. I've always owned a few outfits that would be appropriate for most professional jobs. These are the same outfits I would wear to church, so that's part of it.

You will need to have an outfit that you can wear for a job interview. I have a suit. Depending on whether or not this is a job that might require a second interview, you might need a second outfit. Other than that, you need a couple of things you can wear the first few days. Dress nicer than you think you should, as first impressions do matter. You can always dress down as time goes on and you've had a chance to establish yourself.

I know I've written a book ... try to relax. It will be an adjustment and you can't completely plan for everything. Do the best you can and just know that there may be some hiccups along the way. But you will be fine, your kids will be fine and your husband will adjust :-)

Good luck with your job search and decisions!

Use after school care and only work as late as they are open. Do child care year round.

I worked part time and slowly increased the number of hours I worked per week. I waited until my kids were old enough that they could let themselves in the house and stay alone for a bit after school before I went to work full time. I work for the school division so I don't have to work during school holidays. I buy all my clothes at the thrift store. I'm still trying to figure out when I am supposed to clean the house and shop for groceries!