I agree with April (D), your hubby needs a reality check! And, like she also said, who cares if your mom did it without help?!! As your kids start getting older, they do need an MDO or preschool to get ready for kindergarden...kinder isn't what it used to be and the kids are expected to be ready.
In order to stay sane, you have to find time for yourself! Sometimes a quick trip to the store alone is enough, sometimes you need a lot more than that! And, you need adult interaction! Call up some old friends,or some new mommy friends and get yourself a Mom's Night Out! You need it and you deserve it!
Obviously, your hubby has no idea what you do in a day! I would make plans to be away while both kids are awake, need lunch and will have to be put down for a nap. Let him get a SMALL taste of what you do. I'll bet the house isn't clean when you get home!
I have been very fortunate in getting help from my hubby when I need it, and he has always pitched in around the house...even before kids. But, a couple years ago I threw out my back and was in bed for 5 days...I could barely get up to use the bathroom, and I didn't come out of our room except to go to the Dr. once. He was completely on his own with the kids from morning till night for 5 days. He said the first day was great, couldn't uderstand what I ever complained about. Second day, a little rough, hard to find time for everything, plus he couldn't watch TV or do anything HE wanted to do. By the third day, there was more to do around the house and the laundry was backing up, plus it wasn't all fun and games with the kids anymore, etc., etc. By the end of the 5th day, he couldn't wait to go back to work so he could get a break! He said, OMG!! I don't know how you do it! He told me that he always new my job (as a mom) was hard, but he didn't fully understand how draining it was and how little time there is for you or when you are able to get everything done. And, he didn't even pay the bills or do the grocery shopping or a deep cleaning of the house, or more than one load of laundry, after I said I wasn't up to doing it!
I go out regularly for a Mom's Night Out, plus sometimes when he's off I go for coffee and shopping (even if it is grocery shopping! LOL!). I also have a home-based business that gets me out of the house during the evenings. And, we are part of a playgroup, which gets us all out of the house and gets me some adult interaction! Plus, my 4 y/o is in preschool a couple days a week. My 2 y/o will be going next year (at 3) becuase the 2's class was full this year.
You need to find a way for your hubby to understand all that you go through on a daily basis.
And, you need to get out for some ME time or time with friends, or both. And, DON'T feel guilty for it, either!