SAHM Or Make Money for Yourself?

Why can't you do both? I'm a SAHM and make money, most days still in my PJ's! I have the comfort of seeing every little mile stone my little ones make! I don't have to leave to do parties, stock inventory and it's with a A+ rated BBB business! http://www.contentmommy.com is how to find out more. We don't always have to choose one or the other! We truly have both!

I would say no way to the store idea. I agree, you cannot take a toddler to work with you and actually be able to work. I would wait until he in in preschool at least. Personally, I sell Avon so I can make money on my time around the kids schedules and I can take the kids with me to do that! Contact me if you'd like more details!

The money isn't worth it. Now that the kids are both in school I work part time and am there to pick them up. Daddy has morning duty. I unfotunately used to work full time and although the kids when they were younger came with me (I work in a preschool), the time spent there wasn't with me. I made myself feel better thinking they are just down the hall and I could see them when I wanted. but I wasn't there for when they needed me most. Even when my son was in my class he had to share me with 23 other kids. Devote this time to them while you can and work when both are in school.

I was going to say something exactly along the lines of what Chrystine said; let hubby try to work for a few hours with your son in tow. I don't mean to make light of your situation; I think you're dead-on that it makes no sense to work if you would end up paying more than you earn in daycare. And I think you're dead-on that trying to work a store and watch your son at the same time would be super-stressful and perhaps even dangerous. What happens if you're busy with a customer and he's getting into something he shouldn't be? Best of luck with your decision.

Um, taking your toddler to work? Is your husband out of his mind? That is the most insane thing I have ever heard. Your toddler will be running around all over the store, and if he is made to stay in one place, he will get bored and have tantrums. You may get busy with a customer and forget about him "just for a moment" and he may wander off, go outside, or someone may snatch him. That's just crazy. For $10 an hour, that is not worth it. Stay at home until he's old enough for school. Sorry to be so blunt, but no kid should be made to stay at a store, or anywhere else, while his mother works. Good luck!

If you don't feel good about it and it's not a need for your family, it's OK to say no to anything.

Or, if your husband has the type of job where he can take your son for 2 to 4 hours, have your husband take him in to work one day. Men really don't know what's involved in child care, and it might be a big eye opener that will cause him to appreciate you more. ;D

I totally understand how you feel. I am a stay at home with a 2 year old and we can not afford for my daughter to go to daycare/preeschool, but it would be nice if I had some extra cash to help out with the funk we're in. My sister in law has a store that she and my mom both say I could work at and it would be so easy to just bring my daughter with me to work. Well there are times I go to the store to visit and it's all I can do to keep her from pulling everyting off of the shelves to play and sometimes even opening things. There's no way I could leave her to do her own thing and actually work. It's not like she's 10 and I can leave her in a corner to color or read. She's 2 for goodness sake. I totally KNOW you're not crazy and that it would be nearly impossible to take a 2 year old to work with you. I think that people who think otherwise have no idea what it's like having a 2 year old at home all day. In your husbands and my boyfriends case they're at work all day and have no idea what your day is like, my mom had me obviously but was not home with me (she worked) and my "sister in law" does not have kids and I think is only saying I could bring her along to work because she has no kids and would like the visit, but is not thinking of how it would be on a regular basis having a 2 year old tearing up her store and paying me to work while I basically am just cleaning up after my 2 year old. Even if you could lock him (in my case her) in a room away from everything then they're in a room alone and that's not good either. I wish we could both figure something out because extra money would be nice, but I think we're out of luck.

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Your thoughts are valid.

First, they're too active and if you didn't raise your 2YO ignoring him all of the time so that he knew to not bug you for his every need, then he's not going to know how to do that when you're working.

Second, it's not fair to your child. He deserves you to be Mommy when you are with him.

I work from home a lot, but I still put my little ones in extended daycare at school. It allows them to play and have fun in a safe supervised environment while I can focus on work and be productive.

Believe me, I tried it. Doesn't work. I've seen people do it but they've done it from infancy and I think their children were just used to having Mom ignore them all the time so they'd play on their own. Mine weren't like that.

S.

Here is an idea: Have your husband take your son to work with him for a few hours and see how it goes :)

or, have him try to accomplish something at home while also watching the toddler........wow, does he not realize that you already have a job, and one that deserves your full attention.

You are not off base in your thinking. I think alot of times men do not understand what goes into taking care of a young child.

Dear SH,
I am unique in that I work for a very understanding boss in a very flexible environment. When daycare calls and my son is sick, I do have the option to bring him in with me. That worked out well...until he became mobile. Now I figure I can bring him in for all of 20 minutes. It's not fair to me, my coworkers, my clients, or the work I'm trying to do.
So my two cents, send your son to work with your husband for a 4 hour shift and see how he handles it. When he responds that he won't be able to get any work done, or that his clients won't understand...You can respond in kind that it would be the same for this shop and its owners. Take it from someone who has tried it.
You also don't want to ruin this friendship of your husband's. Stressful work situations can cause problems with friendships...
Good luck!
S.

Men don't think the same way as us at all.

You know your kid best since you already take him to the stores with you. Your right about more stress, because a 2 yr old is busy, and if they haven't been trained since birth then it is very hard for them to understand why they have to be good and not touch anything. 4 hours to a 2 yr old is a lifetime, and he will start throwing tantrums everytime he knows thats where your going.

My hubby has done the same thing to me, but we need the money. He has said that I need to find a full time job, I work from 6:30am to 11:00 but now till 12:30pm I did the 11:00am thing because my son was in Kindergarden, & then 1st grade came, I loved having 2 hours to come home and clean the house before I picked up the kids and did homework. Now I don't have time to do deep cleaning like I like it. But he doesn't think ahead, like : who will pick up the kids from school, I have one in each school (elementary, Jr. High & High school). They get out at 2, 2:40 & 3:30. So there goes my afternoon, approx 20 minutes before picking up the next one. And my youngest is the 2:00. If they had to walk which they are all walking distance but right before the 2 mile distance, so I would have to get a sitter for my son until my older ones got home. But my hubby doesn't want them to walk that far, which is fine with me. So how then can I work full time ? He already complaines that I go to bed to early 10:00 or 11:00pm I get up at 4:30 to get my oldest to bible study before I head to work. I'm not one of those people who can live off 5 hours of sleep so by the weekend I'm dead, I sleep till 9 or 10am then Sundays I nap and rest all day so I can do it all again.

Back to you though, if this is something that you are truely interested in then find a way. Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves first. This makes us a better mom. And beleive it or not you will be more focused on your kids when you are their, because you don't want to miss a thing. The daily grind thing happens to us all. Is there a friend you can change some hours with? Like you watch her kids 4 hours on Tuesday and Thursday, and then she watches yours 4 hours Monday & Wednesday, then your hubby watches them on Saturday morning while you do another 4 hours. Or maybe if your kids go to bed early you could do a few nights a week, or dad could watch them and get them into bed. If you need extra money watch some kids after school or only when they are off track. I liked the off track thing. This way my kids had play dates everyday for the month, when I was sick of them and they were sick of us they went back to school. Though you only get paid for the months they are off of school. There are moms who need very little daycare so look into that. If mom needs someone to pick up the kids from school and they come home 2 hours later it's not bad. ( It's snack and homework time). Good luck to you, if you want it bad enough you will figure it out. J.

I think your husband should have the "opportunity" to take his two year old to work with him, or school, he could take his pick! Good luck,
V.

As a Human Resources Director, I would advise you NOT to bring your son to the store. It is not fair to the employer, the customers, or your son, because none of them will get the full attention they need/are paying for.

Yes, it is usually cheaper to stay home and avoid daycare charges than to take a part-time job. The alternative would be if you have someone to trade babysitting services with.

Good luck to you! db

It sounds like you've made up your mind! Don't think you need us to weigh in!

-M

Don't go to work - it will drive you crazy and make your baby so unhappy - find the money elsewhere. Your husband may mean well, but men just don't get it.
gOOD LUCK

I would tell him that there would be no extra money if I got a babysitter and I would just be stressed out if I had to take him w/ me. This situation sounds like a really bad mix. I don't think it's fair for a toddler to self entertain for 4 hours while you work, and I don't think it's fair for you to worry about him and work at the same time. I would tell my husband to try to take the kid to work w/ him and see how well he can do his job first before asking you to do it.

Good luck!

Oh, he's nuts. I suggest you ask him to take your son to work for a couple hours and see how well that goes, lol. No, he isn't being a jerk, he's just oversimplicating a NOT simple situation. We considered the same thing, but really, a two year old is SOOO much harder than an infant, who can't run around and break things. And he is assuming that they would even allow you to bring him, they might not be too fond of that idea, especially after a few weeks and the "newness" wears off. Anyway, good idea to think about, but right now isn't the time. Maybe once he is in pre-school? Well, that is my opinion. Have a great day.

I think you may have answered your own question...at the end you said "I am blessed to be a sahm...". I think that the amount of money you'd make is not really going to be worth the head ache of dealing with a toddler in the store,or of course spending it all on a babysitter. If you love taking care of him at home, being avail. to p/u your daughter from school, shopping during the morning, and of course, bringing in money with your business, I say let it wait! If you were in dire straits, that w/b different, but it sounds like you guys are doing ok. Let me tell you, I've had 3 kids and once the last one was in school, boom - you can have a life again and make some money, no problems! There will be opportunities if you keep your eyes open...and maybe your own business can be focused on in the meantime, and hopefully grow! best of luck,
M.

I have a 2-1/2 year old son. I could not imagine trying to manage him in a store for 4 hours a day, even for 1 hour a day! And he is a relatively "mild" little guy. If you tried it, it seems like it would be a guarantee that you would do nothing but trying to keep him from getting into things and keeping him happy - how would you get any "work" done? I also have a 3-3/4 year old son. He is a lot more rambunctious than his little brother and I could not imagine doing that with him at 2 years old, or now. I understand that some people may need to have such arrangements out of necessity, but if it is not an absolute necessity, why force both you and your son into a terribly frustrating situation?

I think that your thoughts are absolute common sense. I am sure your hubby means well. I have a wonderful hubby, too, but his concept of "manageable" is completely different than mine. He is happy to take the kids to a store with him to run an errand, but I will avoid shopping with my kids at all costs. It can be done, and I often have to do it, but I will always shop alone if there is any way I can. Granted, I am with the kids all day, every day, and he sees them very little, but we have very different ideas on what each of us can handle when it comes to the kids. I prefer to have the kids at home playing, he prefers to take the kids out.

You have thought of all of the potential pitfalls, and I think you know what you can and cannot handle!

Ask your husband to go and spend an 2 hours at the store to see how he does. Make sure you pack a baby bag with plenty of sncks, toys and ofcourse diapers and wipees! I am sure he will come running bak to you. It actually sounds like maybe your husband and son don't spend to much alone time where you husbnd gets to experiene what you go through every day with your son. Have you a weekend way since your son was born?

You have a very valid point. I think his response is very typical. My husband once wanted me to take my 2 year old with me while I went to the dentist! How retarded is that! Good luck and be prepared for more reactions like that until he sees first hand how hard it is.

This is what I would do, if it is okay to work your hours around the 6 yrs old schedule, I say do it. Also make sure it is okay to bring the little one. I did this back when I had twin boys about that age. I took a playpen in and set it lines eye out of the way. Or if you will be working in a back office type situation even better. That way they were out of my way and they could play or nap. Fill the playpen with alot of his favorite toys bring alot healthy snacks as well. Good Luck..

Have your husband take the child to work with him for 4 hours and then let him figure out the the correct answer is. The other option is to work only when your spouse can care for him.

you only get one chance with each child-- jobs are a dime a dozen. stay with your boy, he needs you. it may be hard, but things worth doing in life are rarely easy. I have never met a mom who regretted staying home with their kids, but i do know moms who really wish they would have. you can do it!

I can think of only one suggestion on this. I know your husband is working and going to school. But is their some way that he could take the little one to work with him for 4 hours a day, 3 days a week ?? Just for a couple of weeks. It would be way better than explaining to him the care and problems that come up with a little one. Sandy

When your husband gets home, meet him at the door with a hug and kiss (or a nice dinner or...), smile, and tell him how wonderful he is to think of a way for you to have some extra spending money and you love him for the thought, but it would be stressful and take away from your family time and time with him and you can't stand the thought - the little bit of money is so not worth what you'd give up for your family - so you're not going to do it now, maybe in a few years when both kids are in school.

I don't think your husband has a clue. Ask him to take him to his work for a few hours-see how that goes, and then you'll try it. My eyes are rolling. Good luck.

Well I'll keep this short and sweet - yes, it would be a handful - no it is not realistic to think you could work a job and keep your eye on a two year old at the same time. Make your kids come first, "extra" money is just not that important.

Hahaha, I love the idea of having your husband take your son to work for an object lesson in how silly of an idea that is!
You are absolutely right, now you just need to find a good way to explain it to your husband. :)

Susan,

I think you're husband has a case of the 'but it make so much sense' disease, that men get when they forget about ALL the other details that come along with having toddlers. It's easier for them because WE take care of most of the HARD stuff.

While, it sounds like a great opportunity to get out and make some side money, it also sounds like it would disrupt an otherwise very well functioning routine for you and your little guy. I know my 2.5 year old, and there is a reason I call him my 'monkey'...he just can't SIT still if he HAS to, and taking him to work when I have (in an office) was no picnic even for an half hour. So, I couldn't imagine a retail setting. Yikes!

Being a Mom, who HAS to work full-time and pays others to take care of her 2 year old (Grandma and Preschool), I would give anything to have the chance to be the one taking care of my son and staying at home. Your family is blessed to be able to make it work together the way that it does.

My Mom was a full-time SAHM until my sister was in first grade and then, she took at part-time job to make extra money.

Like I've started saying, 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'.

Good Luck!
D.

August 2008, I had a baby girl born 3 months pre-mature. Nov 2008, my company moved and I was laid off. Feb 2009, My husband and I were struggling financially and we were forced to claim bankruptcy. My daughter was on oxygen 24/7 and I couldn't find any day care that would take her without me paying for an onsite nurse. So, needless to say, I was desperately searching for a home business.

I found one and I was working the phone every other 1/2 hour from 8am to 12 midnight, sometimes even later. I was also spending thousands of dollars on inventory and the company's forms of advertising. It was ridiculous! It caused tension in my family and I was spending money we didn't have just to stay in the business.

A very good friend had me watch a video and my life literally changed! NO inventory, NO selling and NO cold phone calls. This video showed me that I could save money on everything that I was buying (toilet paper to health/car insurance) and if I chose, I could work the business at little to no cost!

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Your husband IS CLUELESS. There aren't any mom who do that. But if he thinks it is so easy, let him try it out first.

If you pay some on to watch your son while you do a job like that, you would just hand over your check to the babysitter.

Stick with your online boutique. Post you URL for the rest of us moms! Good luck

I am sure the job was offered to you, not you and your son. I would speak to them about if they intend for your son to come because most likely that is not part of the offer. Unfortuntately, this is a working moms dilemma. The choice is universal, either work and pay daycare or stay home. Good luck with your decision.

Dear SH

If you can be a SAHM please take advantage of this. My kids are grown now but I did try several ways to work from home when they were little. The problem is that all that was available out there made me to book parties or shows in the evening and on weekends plus I had to do deliveries and deal with bounced checks and no shows. My home business didn't keep me at home very often. Each different business negated what I was trying to achieve, which was giving my children a SAHM. Then My hubby lost a good paying job and I had to take an outside position.

I was sitting and talking with my two little ones babysitter when I came to pick them up and my 20 month old son fell and yelled mommie and ran to her instead of me. I bursted into tears. Bottom line, if you can stay home do so, you kids will only be little once. You'll have plenty of time to make money when they are grown and in college. I advise you stay home even once they are in school full-time unless you can find a way to work their school hours. Your teenagers will need you at home too. Not only for rides but for guidance and direction. Open your home to their friends so you'll know who their friends are and what they are doing on a daily basis. The bad friends either improve or weed themselves out of the group.

BTW, my kids are all grown and had things been different, things would have turned out better. Don't have reqrets like I have.

I am now working a home based business that I can do entirely from home. With a quite area, unlimited long distance, 3-way calling, computer, and DSL, I do no order taking or deliveries. I collect no money yet I am paid weekly and monthly like clockwork. I set my own hours and can scheudle things around our activities. I have met some super people and know I am helping people improve their health and financial future.

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Is there a reason your hubby can't take your 2 year old to work or school with him? Or maybe he can watch him while he is studying and you can work at that time?
LOL
Besides if you are working, when would you have time to shop? ;)

I would let your husband try working with your 2 year old and then re evaluate. There is a "season" in everyones life when it is best to choose one option over another. Maybe right now is not your time but in another year and a half you son will be preschool age and you can maybe work while he is at school. Then later he will be in kinder and you will have more time to dedicate to that. Think about how fast a year flies, you will be ready as a whole family, in no time. Goodluck

I have not seen any of your responses but how about this: if hubby thinks it's such a great idea to have you take the boy to work with you, have him do it first. Have him take your son to work. This will do two things. 1) it will give him an idea of what you would be up against 2) it will give him a new found appreciation for what you do. Me personally, I work on Saturdays for extra money. I leave all the kids (my two + his one + our one) with my husband and I get out of the house, I get to make money and most importantly I get the break!

I love my kids but they do not belong in the workplace. For them it's boring and there are too many things for them to get into. Besides, it's hard to be professional when you have to chase the kiddos out of your desk. I have had to take the kids to work before and it's stressful. I used to joke that I would have to answer the phone "Thank you for calling (company name) Fire Protection and Daycare" HaHa

Good luck with your decision but don't put the extra pressure on yourself. It's not worth the stress and you'll burn out faster than you think.

~V.

Sounds like your husband is totally clueless. Maybe he should take a few days off and see how a day goes - he might change his toon. I do have a suggestion - check with your city and see if they offer any toddler programs. I know my city offers programs that meet for a 3-4 hours - 2, 3 or 5 days a week and it's really reasonable. If it's cheap enough - it might allow you to go work during that time. Good luck and God Bless.

You are right. No way can you watch a cild in the store and work - you would be cleaning up and chasing after him constatly. And what about all of those strangers that walk into the place? You little one could be an easy target. You other 2 businesses sound great. You could build them up, advertise them in your local newletters, hand out business cards, get referrals from current clients. I do Mary Kay from home while I take care of my 3 little ones (9,7,4). I love it and it adds quite a bit to our family income. You can check out my website at www.marykay.com/sbaldwin2. Sounds like you are on the right track.

Ummm it kinda sounds like you don't really want to do this. I don't blame you. I WOULD NOT BRING A TODDLER INTO A SITUATION WHERE HE NEEDS TO BEHAVE for 4 hours at a time. It just won't happen. You will have lots of time after your baby goes to school to "do something for yourself" in the way of a job. Just enjoy the time that you have with your kids. It is a huge blessing that you can stay home. Why try to ruin that!

It's never OK or professional to have baby at work with you, unless you work at home. Do you know of another mom you can split time with? She would watch your son on your work days and you watch her child for the same amount of time on the other days? Or can you create a situation like that?

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I have always been a working mother and admire those mothers that are able to stay at home with their children. If you cannot afford it right now, then don't stress yourself out. You are contributing with your home job, and besides, raising 2 active children is more than a full-time job.

I think working outside the home is healthy for your mental well-being because I believe in maintaining your social abilities. But, if it is not affordable, then it could definitely be a stresser and at the end of the day if parents are stresed - the home and children are unhealthy.

You sound like you have a wonderful family and love your husband - perhaps you should tell him you're interested, but right now it is not feasible.

Hi SH,

It's been my experience that it is very difficult to work and have children around. Kids get bored and need a lot of attention. And, unless you have him gated off from all the store shelves, can cause mass pandemonium because it is all fun and games for him to pull every item off it's rack and see your shocked or annoyed expression.

Also, the pay, especially if it's part time, will be eaten up by your pre-k or daycare costs. And then there's the frustration of having to get this child here and that child there and getting yourself to and from work on time. If you are thinking about working after both of your children are in school full-time, maybe what would be best is figuring what kind of job you would like to have and then taking a class or two each semester at your local college to help you prepare for that goal. Some of the universities have some really interesting extension certification programs that you may want to check out. But, again, that's if you're interested in working after your children get older.

Wow, with a 28 month old (and a boy at that), I couldn't imagine working at a store (that wasn't mine) for any period of time. I work from home and visit some clients on-site. Everyone knows my children come first and I JUST recently started bringing my youngest (3-1/2 years old) with me. She sits quiet (relatively) and works on coloring or 'reading' or computer games while I'm working; and even her max is 4-hours. If money is the issue, I would concentrate more on what you have going on-line and see if it is really viable and what can you do to increase sales (more consistency & volume). As for DH, it sounds like he is just being logical and helpful, but might not quite understand everything that goes on during the day. If he keeps pressing the issue, you may want to keep a 'time journal' to show him exactly what you do and how long it takes - or have him take a 'day in the life' of you. Also, working 3 4-hour shifts at $10/hour, will bring you about $109 per week and this does not take into account your end of year taxes for a 'second income'. Take into consideration any additional costs for childcare, work clothes, additional gas and mileage, meals out (you KNOW it will be easier and more tempting to grab and go when you're tired and stressed) and you may actually end up PAYING to work for someone.

Work at the store when your husband can take care of the kids for 4 hours (weekends?).

Kids need: only Daddy atttention, only Mommy attention, and family attention.

Children and work are ussually not a good mix unless there is an on-site baby sitter.

I don't think it will work, but why not try babysitting someone else's child during the day a couple days a week? Charge $5.00 per hour and there's your extra money.

Having managed and owned my own mom & pop type stores, I would advise you NOT to take him to work with you. You will not be able to get anything done and it is unprofessional. The people shopping in there derserve your attention and you will not have a moment with your two-year-old there. I know it seems possible, but it is not. You basically end up "dealing" with the customers as your child is being handled constantly. I had a similar situation happen to me and we all thought it would work but it absolutely did not. It's a nice idea, but it is pretty much impossible.

Hi,

It is very reasonable to want a little extra spending money, however, I don't think there is anything about the "store" option that will be providing that for you. Instead, it seems, it would give you and your little guy many reasons for frustration for very little pay.

Is it that your husband feels it would be good for you to get out of the house? Or the graphic designing is not bringing in enough income? or...?

I'm a SAHM also, but I own a business from home that provides the extra spending money, some good friends, and the ability to still be a full-time mom. This has been our way of making all the pieces tie together.

Are there ways that you could take on another place for designing? Have you thought about work from home opportunites?

If you are out of ideas or might be interested in another work from home option, I'd be happy to share about this with you. Either way, however, you are very much "on the right track" in being concerned about how much value there would be in working at the store.

Have a great day!
T.
www.HealthyHome4All.com

well I hate to say that it looks like you will not be working at this store. I personally would never take my son (who is 3) to work with me. I worked at a small gyms daycare and I was allowed to bring my son and it was the worst idea ever. money was good but my son hated being confined to the space and only playing with what they had toy wise. Your son sounds like he is a ball of energy and wouldn't do so well being confined to the inside of a store for 4 hours at a time.
What about the store owners do they want a toddler running around their store?

Do you have any friends with small children as well? I am in a playgroup and have found a couple of moms and if I need someone to watch my son for a couple of hours we either trade childcare needs or offer a small amount of money.

I work at night. my husband gets home around 5:30pm and then I head off to work about 20 hours per week. mostly on the weekends. My sone hardly knows I am gone.I am a cashier at wal-mart. It is great and flexable.

I am giving you my situation and I hope that is okay. I hope maybe you find a job that works for you.

I think he should try it out for a few days in the store and see if he reconsiders. Your thoughts are logical and you're right, a store while you're working is no place for your son unless there's an area where he can play and not wander the store. It's not fair to you, your son or the business owner.

I remember when I was on maternity leave and my husband would come home and some days were so busy I just couldn't finish folding the laundry, or dishes, or whatever and he would say something like, "you've been home all day..." At that time, I just smiled and thought to myself, "you just wait till it's your turn." When he took paternity leave and I went back to work, I would come home and he looked like he had gone through the wash. I just smiled to myself knowing that he understood. One day he was talking to a friend of his and admitted (in front of me) that his expectations were ridiculous at the time and now he knows better.

Perhaps, your husband doesn't get it because he's never had to do all the things that you do to take care of your sons. If he really pushes the subject, I would strongly suggest he tries out his own suggestion before pushing it on you.

Good luck,
-S