SAHM Or Job?

Updated on June 19, 2010
A.E. asks from Mankato, MN
11 answers

I was a SAHM for the first year of my son's life. It was wonderful. This summer I agreed to a part time seasonal job for the city. This job is what I went to college to do. I really like it, but the other day they made it sound like they were trying to make it year round part time rather than seasonal. This sounds great right? I can't decide what I want to do. I do daycare for one family. Right now it's one child. For the summer he comes three days a week 4.5 hours. During the college school year he comes about 27 hours a week. So it's quite doable to keep him on. I really enjoy working with him. In Nov he will be a big brother to twins. His Mom is really excited to see them come here. I'm excited too. Working with them lets me stay home with my little guy and I feel like I'm contributing. This is doable with a part time job I know but I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on valuable time with my son. I'm sure once I do it I'll get used to it. I'm getting used to what I do now it's just that I thought it was only until the middle of Oct and then we'd have "our" time again. I don't know. I just want to know what others would do in this situation. I know you can't make my decision for me. I'm just curious, suck it up and see how it works or just try to SAHM longer. We do plan on more children in the near future.

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answers from Washington DC on

I am a SAHM. I have found that the older they get the more they need you at home. My children are in high school. They need me more than ever - can you even imagine? But it's true. I was at the high school yesterday at 2:45 when they got out to help them with band stuff. If I were working, I wouldn't have been able to be there. This is just one small thing... But the list is endless. They want me to be at school on Friday to see them present their history projects... If I were working, it wouldn't happen. Their awards night is later this week. If I were working, I'd be late to that.
I do work part time. And sometimes even that gets in the way.

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answers from Indianapolis on

I think you need to do what your heart and your pocketbook tells you to do. If you can make it being at home and you don't need the money, then that's great.......on the other hand, if you are going to add more kids, do you need to put some money back for anything? Is your husbands job secure? I know that is a tough one to answer, I thought mine had a secure job and after 18 years, they laid him off!!!!!!

Your son is going to grow up and there are things you are going to miss always, but only your family can decide what to do...

Take care.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Coming from the perspective of a working mom of an almost-3 yo girl and a baby on the way, I wish I had spent more time with my baby girl... but I can't get that time back. I'm looking into ways to spend more time at home (working part time)

Jobs will come and go, but babies grow up. If I were you, I'd take the time with your son now, do the daycare work at home, and look at working outside the home when your kids are spending their days at school.

It's interesting to read the wide range of responses here... ultimately, you need to do what you will look back on and feel proud of, and weigh that with what you can afford, and what makes you happy on a daily basis.



answers from Minneapolis on

I work as a career consultant with people who have been laid off from their jobs. If you have a job, keep the job. They are hard to come by and that situation is not getting better any time soon. Your college education will be less and less valuable the longer you stay away from work. And part-time is the best of both worlds, in my opinion.



answers from Oklahoma City on

I used to watch kids in my home for several years. I did this so I could be home with my little one and make some extra bucks as well. I missed having just one on one time with my son, other than weekends, that I had before I started watching kids. Tke kids I watched usually napped for 2 - 2 1/2 hours a day. So I would use the time they were napping as "our" time together each day. My son wasn't ever much of a napper, if he did have one I would just put him down at a different time that the others so we still had "our" time together.



answers from Detroit on

I stayed home till my younger son was 23 months.. then I went back 2 days per week.. 7 hour days..

I love love love working part time.. it is good for me and the kids.. it is hard to be home full time. I got tired of the constant demands and never ending drudgery of being home.. I feel refreshed after a day at work.. and I have more patients for the kids.

I dont knwo if your job offers part time but if it does.. I would sign up for a part time job out of the home. I dont know that watching newborn twins + 2 other kids would offer the mental break and stimulation that a job out of the home would.



answers from Omaha on

My opinion is, if you have the opportunity to do what you love part time for now- then do it, because when the "more kids" come in the future, you can take more time off. I would LOVE to be able to just work part time, unfortunately for me, that isn't an option at this time


answers from Norfolk on

Personally, I would go with SAHM. We will never get this time back with our little ones, soak up every possible minute!



answers from Minneapolis on

Hi A..
Rather than choosing between being a SAHM or having a Job, have you considered being a WFHM (Work From Home Mom)?

I am working on building a service to help single women, and moms (and dads and men too) take charge of their lives, learn skills, develop better self esteem, and more. As I build this non-profit, I am working with a wonderful, stable, and respected company that gives people the opportunity to take charge of their health, wellness, and finances -- ultimately my work with this company will fund my outreach endeavor.

If you would like to learn more about this company and how to improve the environment inside your home for your family and also how to build your own business and provide for your family, please feel free to contact me. I am in Minneapolis and would be happy to give you a zero-pressure, zero-risk presentation.

Either way, I wish you much luck, you sound like a great mom!!




answers from Lincoln on

My oldest is 9 and my youngest is 3 with one inbetween. I have never regretted staying home with my kids. Never. It has been the best decision I have ever made. The time that they are home with us is so,so short. I almost have all three in school and the time feels so short. Also, I love knowing that I have prepared them as much as possible for the "outside" world of school where they learn all the things you have been trying to protect them against. I have the rest of my life to work if I should decide. It has been worth every penny I might have made in a job/career. My children have never gone without. Good luck making your decision.


answers from Omaha on

If you can't stick with your orignal plan of what you wanted to do then don't do it. Follow your intuition. Family is more important. I would love to be able to have your schedule but can't.

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