Sad at Work

I do work from home, it is great , I spend alot of time with my kids.

You should contact me through my website and I will share with you what we can offer you. Yes you can replace your income by the time school starts again in September. I was a teacher too. Good luck and I look forward to talking with you.

--C. W
www.WorkAtHomeUnited.com/Arizona
www.SaferForYourHome.com/Arizona

I agree that cutting back and clipping coupons can save you a few hundred dollars a month but it can't make up for a loss of full time income. You would have to totally change your lifestyle to make do on one income. That means driving old cars and spending half the amount on your housing along with a host of other things to go without...like cell phones, high speed internet, going out, getting a sitter every time you want to go out, smoking, drinking, fancy foods, so basically everything you like to indulge in. But it is possible. You would go from an upper middle class family to a lower middle class style of living that many other families deal with every day.
So your choice is not you HAVE to work it's you work to support a style of living that you want.

Hi K. - I am a teacher too! It's a great schedule for having kids with the days and summers we get off, but I find it hard to be "on" all day and nurturing other kids' minds and not my own kids' minds sometimes. Personally, i know I could NEVER stay at hoke full-time without going totally insane, but like you, part-time is my dream, my utopia. Also like you, it can't happen due to financial reasons. I know some will tell you to just "cut back" and make changes and you can survive without your salary, but it seems to me (and it's my reality) that going without an extra $4,000 a month is pretty darn hard to make up just by making a few changes and not buying anything for yourself. I can totally relate to what you are saying, and I get sad too looking at my kids growing so quickly and feeling like I am missing some of it. My girls have both been in daycare since they were 3 months old. It is pretty hard and it got tougher after my second was born, just like you said, mostly because she was a much needier baby and I knew she was the last baby. :( I wish I had answers for you to make you feel better, but one thing I can say is that as long as you are making the most of the time you DO have with your kids, you will still feel connected to them when you are apart during the day. As they get older, you can even have special outings with them separate or together on the weekends, and build up the bonding time. Since my oldest turned three last summer, she is so much easier now to take shopping or on errands, to take a walk together, or just to go for a ride in the car and talk. I feel like we have more one-on-one special time and it carries me through when we are apart.

I know it's frustrating when you feel like your choices are stripped from you and made for you, out of your control. Keep your chin up and keep the grateful attitude you have about having work and a good income in the first place. Your identity is made up of so much more than being a mother (while I obviously get that it's foremost in your mind) so celebrate YOU from time to time. I hope this helps a little... I have been at the working mom thing for 3.5 years now and I can totally relate.

It is not all rosy on the other side. I stayed home for 10 years and while I wondered how working moms got everything done I was often lonely, bored and frustrated while tending to my daughters. Young kids can be fabulous, but your mind and soul need more. Getting together with moms in playgroups was arranged more due to similar aged kids than similar interests or personalities of moms. I work 6 hours a day now (while they are in school) and LOVE the social interaction with true peers and getting appreciated for my accomplishments. I am already setting goals for when I can work full time again, including some additional education for myself. I know it is not a solution to your dilemma, but just beware what you ask for because you may get it and then find it is not what you thought it would be.

Hi K.!

I understand how you feel. My son is now 16 but when he was little I wanted to be able to stay home with him so bad. I tried to figure every way to do that but financially I needed to work full time. Although for a short time I did work the night shift while my husband worked the day shift. That was the closest I could get to staying home with him but it was not until he was in school. Although it was tiring I worked full time while he was sleeping and when he was awake I was there. It seemed like to him that I didn't work. While he was in school is when I slept. It was nice while it lasted. I wish you could figure something out but if not just be sure to spend quality time with them while you are with them. There is a philosophy called RIE and is the philosophy we use at my center. I think it may be beneficial for you to read the book. It has some suggestions about spending quality time and what quality time is. It also talks about if you do that your children will be much more balanced when your not around. how not to feel guilty because you have to work and how to take care of yourself etc. Anyway just know there are others that completely understand how you feel.

Hi K., I completely understand how you feel! I may have a solution for you though. I work with Cultural Care Au Pair as the Local Childcare Coordinator for Glastonbury. Hosting an au pair keeps your children at home and away from the lengthy daycare hours. It can take some of the pressure off of you, being away from home during the day, knowing that the kids are able to have that 'stay at home' experience and gives you flexibility with the childcare schedule as well.

Let me know if you are interested in learning more and I would be ahppy to talk with you about it & send materials. We are offering a discount currently as well - see our ad in Mamasource!

Best,
C. Fear
LCC Cultural Care Au Pair
www.culturalcare.com

Hi K.,

I can completely relate. Lately I feel really sad that my kids are growing up so quickly and I feel like I'm missing so much. My oldest will be 4 next month and the youngest is 9 months old. Ever since I had a second kid, I have found working to be that much more difficult. I also like my job (or at least don't mind it) and have a great boss and co-workers, but I would really rather be with my kids. If the economy wasn't so bad right now, I would consider asking my boss to work part time and figure out how to deal with the money issues; however, I'm afraid if I cut my hours that would be a message to the company that I'm not needed full time and could put me on the lay off list or that I would get the reduced hours and my husband would be laid off. Neither option would be good for the family. My only advice is to try to enjoy the time you do have with your kids.

I work for a legitimate company that has been around for 25 years and has been in the Inc. 500 magazine. We are backed by the BBB. They are wonderful, and I cannot begin to tell you how much this business has truly blessed my family! I really want to help other moms in this financially difficult time! There is NO selling, no inventory to stock/ship, no parties, and NO RISK! Only $1.00 until March 17th!!! Request more info. at www.WorkAtHomeUnited.com/H. or call me ###-###-####

If you want to stay home that badly look at your spending and cut what can be cut. I have two boys and stay home because we cut our costs and live off a budget. You could look into working from home to supplement your income as another possibility shop the clearance racks, use the cheap diapers, buy in bulk, purchase your meats from a butcher that offers meat plans you will be surprised how much that saves you in grocery money, clip coupons, go online and print coupons. My hubby has a small paycheck and through living on a budget this past year we are purchasing our first home and will be moving into it at the end April and it will be cheaper than what we pay for rent right now another plus I will be back to work when my youngest starts school and that money will be used towards their college and towards all those extras we are living without right now. It can be done.

Hi K.,

I'm so glad you wrote. Please know that others have felt your concerns in their lives too. I also juggled with every part time idea out there, and it never happened for me.

First I would like to acknowledge the tremendous strain you must be feeling. In our local school district, teachers are working more intensely, with longer hours for meetings galore, and endless take-home work. So I understand that your work load may be very stressful.

I would like to have you think about your whole life. It seems you are quite sad and need to address that, as only you can. Perhaps you could take a personal inventory of what is changeable and not changeable (working?). Examine everything changable: your routines, sleep time, nutrition and fluid intake (dehydration is the curse of teachers). If you have decided to keep working, list what you think you need to make family and teaching work for you. After you make a personal inventory, discuss it with your husband and perhaps your doctor. It may be that a new method of stress reduction would be helpful.

I think your decision to "make peace" with your situation is a great first step. I wish you well.

R

I totally understand. For now, i AM a sahm mom, but not for much longer. My boyfriend, 19 m.o. and I are still living with my parents...which is the only reason I've been able to stay home THIS long. We need to move out, and it won't happen until i work f/t. It's even harder now that i am so used to staying home with him. My boyfriend and I will have to work opposite shifts in order to avoid paying through the nose for daycare. I know the feeling of being trapped/overwhelmed, and i wish it was back in the 20's, where women stayed home (that is they still could have a choice to work of course!). I love being home, cooking, cleaning, laundry.. all of it. Sad it will have to end. I guess all i can say is you're not alone, and i feel for ya..