Rules About Leaving Playboys Around?

LOL... I wouldn't want them lying around, daughter or not! My husband doesn't have this habit (or hides it well if he does! JK), so I don't have advice for you about changing his view, but I don't think you are overreacting AT ALL!! Trust me, I'm so not a prude, but no way!!

My rule is NOTHING is in my house like that. When I did find it a long time ago I made a huge stink about having it in my house with kids here. Who cares if he gets huffy. Throw it all out. Keep throwing it and he will not bring it in. Mine used to try to hide it. NOPE I found it and threw it all away. He has learned his lesson.

Yeah--I agree they should be kept "up high". My son is 7 and I wouldn't want him seeing a Playboy. My hubby doesn't get any mags, but my son has a buddy (also 7) that found O. of HIS dad's magazines and cut out pix and hid them in his room!

O.K. I just wanted to give you kudos for being such a great wife! Most women would NOT be o.k. with their husbands having ANY such magazines around. How awesome is it that you at least are o.k. with him looking at the magazines but would just prefer they be out of sight. That’s perfectly fine in my book. You are only looking to compromise with your husband. You’re o.k. with the magazines being in the house, but just not within reach of your child. Fair enough.

I’m in agreement with those that said he should find a place to stash them.

You and your husband will not always agree on how to raise (for lack of a better word) your child, but finding common ground will only make you both, as parents, stronger.

By the way, I love how you have your husband’s back in your “what happened”. Way to go standing up for him and defending him. How anyone could have gone way off base with “porn addiction, pervert, needs help” is beyond me! She is talking about magazines people = focus please!!!! LOL!

If he doesn't want to move them himself, what's stopping you? If it were my house and my husband got snotty about something that I felt strongly about, I'd just box the sh*t up and stuff it under the bed. If he pulls it out and leaves it out again. It'll go into the garage... behind something heavy. It's not that hard to put his books back in his nightstand or on a tall bookshelf when he's done.

Tell him, if all of Europe jumped off a cliff, would he go too? So immature.

I'd pitch them all. Every single one of them. What if company comes over? I'd be absolutely mortified if my Mom came over and there were dirty mags laying all over the place. If he can't respect you and your daughter enough to keep them in the bedroom, then he doesn't need them.

I don't see the difference between leaving playboys on the counter, or a dildo on the counter.

Would he be okay with YOUR sex toys left laying around the house?

((Or if he only reads the articles))

Would he be okay with you leaving magazines of naked men laying around the house. <Laughing> ACTUALLY... that would make an interesting experiment (and far cheaper than buying sex toys). Buy a bunch of nude men magzines and PAIR them with his. Or even REPLACE his with the nekkid med.

:D :D :D

Your question gave me pause to think. I'm not sure how I feel about leaving Playboy mags around but I do know how I feel about his response of not being willing to listen to your thoughts and feelings in an open way. Perhaps you could start the conversation in a more open way and start a discussion.

I suspect that he was responding to your statement that you "don't approve." Perhaps that sounds a bit like a mother instead of a partner and his response was the little boy huffiness. We all have some child left in us.

I suggest you apologize for the way in which you stated your request and ask for a discussion. Listen to his way of thinking and be ready to discuss his feelings along with yours. Use I statements. For example: "I feel that we are exposing our daughter to sex in an inappropriate way for her age." Even, "I would like to understand why you think it's OK to leave the magazines in the open. Could you try to explain it to me."

I hope that you can work out a way of dealing with the magazines that satisfies both of you.

I grew up with my dad's playboys, penthouse etc... on the coffee table. I looked at them, mostly I liked the comics and celebirty stuff. I remember my mom didn't like me seeing the penthouse because of the way they posed the shots. This was about 35 years ago, so I don't know if playboy has gotten worse. I did not grow up hating my body, and no bad reactions sexually to them. But that being said, your husband needs to respect you enough to put them away if they make you uncomfortable having them around your daughter. I like the going away if not taken away. I wouldn't go so far as shredding them, but give him a time period to find a new out of reach place, and then start taking them and putting them someplace out of his reach.

The almight Lord your God says this: So you thinketh in your heart, so then you have commited. Those who lust for a woman sexually have commited adultery.

He does not need your permission to look at the magazines, but he needs to understand you are not comfortable with them being in arms reach of your daughter. Just ask him to store them up high in the linen cabinet in the bathroom.

My father always a subscription to playboy and it did not bother us or give us any complex, but he did keep them up on a top shelf and did not read them while we were around.. He did not want the neighbor children to get a hold of them.. We were not allowed to go into our parents room without their permission if they were not in there either.

There is a difference between nudity as art and nudity intented to sexually arouse. Even though Playboy (if I remember correctly) is pretty tame, it's still portraying women in a sexual and arousing way. This is not ok for your daughter to see, and I can't believe your husband won't accept that.

My dad used to leave adult mags around. I still remember looking through a Hustler (waaaay worse than Playboy) when I was about 4. It made a huge impression on me, and I wish now that I'd never seen it.

I agree with a previous poster. Tell your husband that if you find his mags around the house where your daughter could reach them they will end up in the garbage. Hopefully this will inspire him to keep them tucked away.

I saw this magazine as a child, it had no ill effects. If you had boys I think I would be more concerned, but for a girl to see a grown woman body is fine if you ask me, we all have the same stuff after all. I spent the last 4 years living in the UK, and he is right, if you lived in Europe she would see as much going to the local beach.

I lived in Europe for 30 years - and nowhere did I ever go to the bathroom in anyones house and see a stack of titty mags!! lol, wherever did he get that idea!
we had some midly dirty movies in the house, which I made mt husband get rid of last year - there is no way I would have any porno in the house any more, once you have seen it, it stays in your mind forever.

He better start putting them out of your daughter's site, or I'd be throwing them out!

My daughter is 4 1/2 and I'd be furious if my husband left those things where she could find them. At that age they don't need to be exposed to sexual things. Save the talks for when she is old enough to understand.

You also don't want her talking about these magazines at school, or trying to "pose" for boys at school!! If she sees it laying around the house, she will think that it is ok for her too.

In response to some other womens responses, yes she will be a woman one day but how about she grows up respecting her body and knowing that a real woman does not have to take her clothes off to be in a magazine. I highly disapprove. You can show her what a woman looks like some other way if thats the deal. If this is just your lifestyle though and you don't care about her looking at nudity magazines then thats your parenting choice and youll deal with consequences when the time comes. Good luck is all I have to say. I am not a prude in any way but I think playboys hanging around the house is a bit much. Theres a time and a place for everything.

Uh, no, no no no noooo!!! It's between you guys if you want him to look at that kind of stuff, but here is no way on God's green Earth that I would EVER, EVER, allow these to be left around for my precious, innocent children to see! We don't do playboys in this house, but we do delve into bondage. We don't leave around ANY evidence that could be found by our two girls! Children are innocent and should be kept so! Nothing in a playboy is appropriate for a girl! Ask you hubs if he wants to see his child in this magazine. If his answer is no, then yeah, it doesn't need to be seen.

My husband got all huffy when I told him he couldn't curse around the kids. Then he heard our adorable 3 year old tell someone to f**k off. He stopped. I don't think that your daughter will be scarred or anything, but how would he feel if he walked into the room and saw her "posing" naked? Or showing her little girl friends dad's magazine?
Claiming that it's different in Europe is really dumb and immature. Also, why is he keeping "stacks" of magazines? They aren't books. They are meant to be thrown out or recycled. Would you keep Us Weekly in stacks around the house?

I guess if your husband thinks it's okay for your young daughter to see women's bodies objectified - then, sure, let him leave them around. Nude art or nude beaches is completely different. Playboy models are all skinny, gorgeous and some have enormous, un-natural, fake boobs. What if your daughter grows up to be on the chubby side and she remembers that her daddy likes skinny playboy women. She may become bulimic or anorexic. You're just asking for a world of trouble. I think it is totally fine to have kids view nudes in the art world, or topless beaches - because those offer a variety of the female body shapes - not "perfect bodies"

Just get naked more so he doesn't need to look at the magazines! :)

I would worry more about how this could impact her self-esteem, rather than worry about the sexual nature of the content. I wasn't exposed to any of that as a child, but once I did see it I can remember wondering if I was "good enough". Not a great message for a young child. Don't get me wrong. The human body is beautiful and should not be hidden, but the skewed approach in these magazines is what I would be concerned with. He can/should keep them tucked away in my opinion.

Whoa! I can't imagine any way this is OK. I assume his comment about Europe refers to their more casual attitude toward nudity, but Playboys aren't just nude pictures, they're sexualized photos. That should be the objection here. Not to mention, do you really want your DAUGHTER seeing such objectified, unrealistic pictures of women? I think I'm more concerned about the fact that your husband is so casual and dismissive about your concerns. Quite frankly, as a mandatory reporter, this is something I would strongly consider calling childcare division about if I learned of this happening in one of my students' homes. I truly hope, for your sake and your daughter's, that your husband will come to his senses and be reasonable and respectful of this.

That is totally unacceptable, what is he thinking?

I have also read your what happened next. tell him to stash them but if she does find them don't make a big issue of it with her it is curiosity. there is no intercourse in the magazine. just explain to her if she does find them that this is not what we do to make money. we have more class than these girls and don't act that way. its not a big issue to a kid until the parents make an issue of it. she doesn't know if it is right or wrong and at 4 won't think i have to be perfect like these girls.

the girls that judged your husband are more than likely insecure obviously your not or you wouldnt allow them at all. I do like how you stood up for your husband.

I find it pretty amazing that he doesn't agree with you or that he hasn't thought of the consequences himself. Let him know that he needs to remove them and, if you haven't already, explain to him the types of messages your daughter will receive and why it's even important. You don't live in Europe, and it makes you and most mothers uncomfortable, boy or girl child. His arguing with will show that he doesn't like being told what to do, that is him, and you have a child to protect. If he ignores your request again, remove them yourself to a place you daughter cannot reach or find. If he comes looking for it, tell him again the playboys can't be within her reach. Hopefully he will get the message and assist in protecting your daughter. If that doesn't work, you know what to do next. Don't throw is stuff away, that will get him going, just put it somewhere safe.

I think it depends what message you want you daughter getting. If you want her getting the idea that women are objects for men, then leave them about. If you want her getting the message that women are strong and confident, then something more like "fit" magazine would be better. I'm with you on this one and your daughter is old enough that he needs to put his things away. Would you want her to see you two having sex? If not, then put them all away. If so, then a family counselor might be in order.

he won't be careful enough. i would cancel the subscriptions myself. tell him this is part of the things we sacrifice to raise children.

I'm Europian and yes, in Europe we are much more relaxed about nudity but the "Playboy" is a big "No, no" there too. It is one thing seeing mom and dad naked, it is another thing seeing prived parts exposed in the way they do in "Playboy".