Ring Bearers Age

The bride and groom get to make the rules of their day. If they want 82 year grandpa to be the ring bearer and 90 year old Auntie Lou to be the flower girl it's there choice and theirs alone. Who cares what everyone else thinks. A wedding is a special day. People should not judge, they should just accept what the bride and groom want even if it's unconventional.

We had 11 flower children and a 10 year old "flower-children wrangler" with an 8 year old female ring bearer.

The bride and groom can have whomever they want perform whatever duty they want under whatever title they want. No one should think it odd and if they do, who cares? People have their pets as ring bearers, for goodness sakes!

Weddings should be personalized to the couple getting married and not conform to cookie-cutter, magazine, traditional, archaic standards.

I wouldn't think it's odd. People shouldn't be afraid of the Wedding Police and should have whomever they want.

I am an events planner. I am hired to guide, organize and take care of the event, the couple and the guests. I always tell the couple
"Your wedding you do what you want."

I always state the traditional rules/traditions, but in the end, the couple being married can have elephants walk Down the aisle if they want.

Circumstance and personal meaning take precedence over the "norm" IMO.

If she wants them to do it, who cares what anyone else thinks? It's up to your sister and her fiancé IMO. I had a cousin who always wanted to be a flower girl but never got to until my wedding. She was 18. We had talked about it at another cousin's wedding & I told her she could be in mine. I also had my 3 yo niece. No one said anything about it and, frankly, I wouldn't have cared if they did. It was fun for us. :)

I would rather a 9 yr old than a 3 yr old. The younger kids will just cry, etc. My cousin ran screaming down the aisle. Maybe someone else would find it cute, but thankfully the best man really had the rings, and the kid just the pillow.

If it works for the bride and groom, who else needs to care how old he is?

When I got married, my nephew was almost 10 and my niece was 8 1/2. They were ring bearer and flower girl. Another niece, almost 8, was also a flower girl--she passed out roses with rise to throw. I did have a younger niece and nephew but decided for the older. I think the really young ones are used for the cuteness factor.

I think guests need to respect and enjoy the choices of their hosts, the bride & groom! It is not up to guests to pass judgment on anything!

An older child can be called anything he wants to be called, whether it's ring bearer or junior groomsman. Usually they don't care but it's nice if the bride & groom can be sensitive and ask.

But there is no rule, and honestly, I think they can depend a lot more on a child of 7, 9 or 11 than one who is 4. There's nothing 'cute' about a ring bearer or flower girl who is crying, fussy, or going off on their own!

I can't imagine why anyone would worry about the people a family chooses for special significance. A friend of mine is 50 and was just a bridesmaid for her much younger sister. Why not?

I don't think there are any written-in-cement rules.
They can do what ever they want.
People have had women as best men, dogs (or other pets) have been ring bearers.
If your sis wants your son as a ring bearer and he wants to do it there's no reason why he shouldn't.

Nine years old is perfectly acceptable. I have seen children of all ages. It is a wedding and the guests are just that, guests. No worries about their thoughts.

The couple should do whatever they want. The difference between a "ring bearer" and "junior groomsman" is only in people's heads, as is the idea that a ring bearer must be an adorable and utterly unpredictable preschooler. Or the idea that there must be a ring bearer at all. Like you, we didn't have one either, and no one thought it odd that there wasn't one.

It amuses me that folks insist "the ring bearer must be a boy no older than X, the flower girl must be a girl and no older than Y" and so forth -- after all, I've read about weddings where a dog was the ring bearer and so on. It's all made up, so couples shouldn't get in a tizzy over what's "expected." There is nothing but people's own ideas to say that a flower "girl" can't be a boy, or a ring bearer a grown woman, or the bride's best friend of either sex can't walk her down the aisle....

Let your sister ask your son and daughter to participate in whatever way, with whatever "title," your sister likes. If she doesn't care what the guests think, neither should you. It's lovely if she asks them to take part in any capacity. An 11-year-old, by the way, can do a lot of things besides be IN the wedding -- he can be in charge of the guest register and greeting people at the register; he can be in charge of decorating the "getaway car" if the couple is going to do that; he can even do a reading in a ceremony if the couple wants and he's good at getting up in front of people. Weddings are not carved in stone, and a creative couple can find many ways to include kids -- or not, as they choose.

of course! it will be lovely!
and i think 11 is a great age. it's adorable to watch a 3 year old toddle down the aisle with a ring, but it's often stressful and overwhelming for them. everyone will love watching your tween in his grown-up suit. i hope he gets to do it.
:) khairete
S.

Personally, (for my wedding) I would prefer a young kid... Like 5 down.

They are just too freaking adorable in their tiny little dress clothes. >.<

The cuteness. Lol.

Though, I don't think it odd to see older kids. I feel like it is up to the preference of the couple getting married.

My oldest grandson is 11 and he will be one of the ring bearers at his auntie's wedding. She's including all her nieces and nephews regardless of age. Weddings are about doing what is right for your situation and not about picking people for their look, age, or weight.

My nephew was 9 as a ring bearer in our wedding. If sis asks, I would tell your son what an honor it is to be asked to be In the wedding. It would be great.

There's something to having them older. My son was in two weddings. Just 4 , he did ok because he walked with the flower girl and did fine. A year later, he walked alone and froze with fear tho he had practiced. I had to walk him Down, he fell to his knees and wouldn't budge. I delivered the ring myself to the waiting groom. omg.

There is no right or wrong age for ring bearers or flower girls. The couple should ask the parents of whatever kids they want in the role.

Honestly, it's HER wedding. I don't get the whole "it must be toddlers". Because, seriously other than the "cuteness" factor, why in the world would you want to take a chance that a 3-4 year old is going to cooperate? She should choose who SHE want to be the ringbearer. It's nobody elses business.

I think if the flower girl is the same age it's okay. I think that having kids similar is size and age is the right thing to do. But I do have to say that a young girl putting the flowers down is so darn cute. Then the little boy carrying the pillow with nothing else to do....it's just cute.

Having older kids is okay it's just not cute. The whole procession looses that adorable kiddo moment.

Not to say that it's bad to have older kids, again, it's just not cute.

I'm not sure anyone would think it was "odd".. if they are close friends with the bride or groom, surely they know that there are not younger boys in the family anyway.

It isn't "typical" and I would generally expect an 11 yr old to be a junior groomsman, yes. But if that is how they want it, it's their wedding after all.
;)

I agree with B that it's their choice, but I think a ring bearer is usually age 6 or under. That's not a rule or anything, but just what I have seen at weddings in the past.

My son was a very handsome ring bearer last year. He was 8. My daughter and niece were flower girls and they were 3 and 4.
Each wedding is what the bride and groom want. What the guests think shouldn't matter one wit.
L.

It's her wedding so she can do what she wants. I have a friend who married a lady with 2 boys and a girl. Her youngest son was 11 and was the ring bearer so don't worry about it. As long as your sister is happy that's all that matters. Good luck!!!

There is no right or wrong age for ring bearers or flower girls. The couple should ask the parents of whatever kids they want in the role.