Requesting NOT to Have a Certain Teacher...

Updated on July 02, 2012
T.M. asks from Tampa, FL
22 answers

My school's principal has a policy that parents are NOT allowed to request a certain teacher for their children. Fine. However, my DD will be going to the same school and I would very much like to request that she does NOT have the same kindergarten teacher that my son had. I don't think that she was a bad teacher, but I also don't think that she brought out the best in my son. I found that communication was a problem throughout the year. There was a problem behavior student in the class that was a bully...my son had problems with this student. I literally had to make a big stink to get her attention about the bullying problem. It was then brushed under the rug. This student was eventually removed from the class when he assaulted two other students. About once a week, my son would come home with a behavior issue noted in his homework folder. The form she used for this was very vague at best,so it was pretty hard to address the problem when my son got home. I did explain that if she wrote a few lines to explain the specific situation, then it would be easier to address it at home. This rarely happened and the situation did not improve. This teacher was gone on maternity leave the last few months of the school year. The substitute was absolutely amazing. My son came home excited about what he was learning in school. The behavior problems disappeared. I thought that the sub was just more lenient than the regular teacher...however, I visited the classroom and that was not the case at all.

I had offered donation of supplies to the regular techer and rarely heard back from her. I had sent her a science experiment to review....I offered to buy all of the supplies and come in to assist with the class to do it...she blew me off. The class seemed to do more in science the last few months of the year with the sub than they did the previous 7 months.

I feel very strongly that I do not want this woman to be my DD's kindergarten teacher. How do I tactfully address this with the principal and make it happen? I don't think she is a bad teacher...just not right for us. I really don't want to take the chance of a repeat experience with my DD....

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So What Happened?

Please let me clarify a few things....I am asking this question way early...my DD will not actually start kindergarten at this school until next year. I do know that the class assignments are not done before school ends...this is the job of the guidance counseler over the summer break. Yes, I did feel disrespected this year. I have heard so many things about how teachers are so low on supplies for the classroom and they desparately need help in the classroom. I offered both of these things and was blown off...WTH? I did have a copy of the science curriculum and the experiment that I proposed did follow the mandated curriculum.

About the behavior notes...the teacher rightfully expected the parents to follow up with any school behavior issue at home. If my son was marked "yellow" as working well with others, it would have been very helpful to know specifics so that I could address the behavior with my son. It's really hard to address such a vague comment. My thought is that if the teacher didn't have time to write a few lines about the behavior, then it obviously wasn't that bad.

No, I absolutely did not let my frustration with the teacher show to my son. The problems that I brought up with the bully to the teacher were not considered by them to be bullying. However, this same student physically harmed two other students when the substitute was there. Only at that point was the child moved. Gosh only knows what havoc the child created in the new class.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I've gone through some similar things, didn't always get my request, and did actually physically changed my son's school, but the best is to just straight out ask and find out. You don't have to divulge if you don't want to just ask.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Just be blunt about it. "I prefer that my child NOT have Mrs. XYZ because I don't feel it will be the right fit." Believe it or not, this is more common that you'd think. Each year I have a parent request that a child not be put in certain rooms. And, to those that say wait and see, it is a huge pain in the behind to move a child after lists are made, so, yes, please request it prior to summer beginning.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Our school allows us to write about what characteristics in a teacher would bring out the best in our child. If they allow you to do something like that you could word it carefully to make sure it is obvious that your son's K teacher would not be a good choice.

I agree that different kids do differently with the same teacher. My son did not get along well with his after school teacher, but all the girls got along great. That teacher didn't treat boys and girls equally. In addition, she used a LOT of sarcasm which drives my son crazy.

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

As a regular substitute for over 10 yrs in elementary at the same school.... The classes for the following school year are set before the teachers leave for summer break. The teachers get together and place children based on many aspects. Parents are not told ahead of time about the teachers because in some cases, there may be some switching around in the classes if new transfers come in during the summer, etc. Plus, if parents were told ahead of time the staff would never get to leave due to everyone wanting special requests granted.

Also, your daughter could have a completely different experience with this teacher. Just like teachers, each child is different as well. Of course, we have had our share of bad teachers along the way with our 17 yr old but we never showed our dislike for a teacher in front of our daughter. Your son was aware that you did not like this teacher and he is smart enough to play on that.

Our elementary has the no requests as well. I think you personally have a problem with this teacher because you feel in some way she disrespected you. It is clear, you don't like her. There is not a tactful way to present that to higher levels. Sometimes we have to learn to get along and work with someone who may not be our favorite person in the world. It's important for children to learn to do this as well so they will become better adults.

The term "bully" is thrown around way too loosely. The schools have anti bullying policies and some children have already learned as early as K that they can say the word bully and get immediate response from staff. It is an attention getter and teachers have to carefully weed out true bullying vs someone just wanting attention because they don't like another kid, etc.

Good luck with your request. Just be cautious how you word things to the staff. Things are talked about among staff. I know some 5th grade teachers who dread a couple of the K students already due to how the parents interact with the school... nothing about the student at all.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I say wait and cross that bridge when/if it happens. She may not want you as a parent either...lol.

If your child does get that teacher just go and remind the principle how many hours you were bothering her and how you really would like to avoid that so could she possibly arrange for your child to not be in that classroom.

Plus, this teacher may not even be there in a year. She may be retired to be a SAHM with the little new one by then. Who knows what the future will bring. You may not even be living in the same city much less in the same school system. Things happen, people lose their sources of income, life happens, death, change. There is not guarantee she isn't a better teacher by then too. She was pregnant. Who knows, that's why I say cross that bridge if it comes up.

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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

Tell the school in writting that you are requesting that your child NOT be placed into Teacher X's class this coming year.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

Write a letter to the principle. Make it not about the teacher but more about your child. Just say that you would like to see different experiences for your entering kindergartner and would prefer to have one of the other teachers. End it with a compliment about either The school or educational team. Ex thank you for your consideration as I know you have only the best intentions for every child to have a great educational experience.

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

You don't even know yet if she is going to be your daughters teacher, right? Your daughter might thrive with her.

The teacher was pregant while teaching your son, that could be why some things werent up to your expectations, she may have really been struggling to finish out before her maternity leave. I'd definitely give her the benefit of the doubt.

Teachers are people just like the rest of us. Try not to let your personal issues with her affect your children.
School is one of the first examples for teaching our children to respect authority and to comply in society.
Parents that show no respect to the teacher are teaching their kids the same thing.

Our kids are not always the little angels with think they are, some are quite challenging in a classroom environment.
Teachers have a very difficult job.

I doubt they will let you "choose" a teacher unless something bad happens in the classroom after the fact, then your request might be granted depending on the circumstance.

3 moms found this helpful

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

my son's school has the same policy.....and guess what....i don't care. i do request teachers for my son. i figure my taxes pay the teachers wages so i word counts. if i decide to pull my son and homeschool him than the school looses federal money. so they need the money to stay open....so your word counts!!! so go in a request for your teacher!!!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

You can make whatever request you want, whether the principal honors it or not is up to him or her. You don't need to give a big explanation, just be to the point - "I am looking forward to Sarah's kindergarten year. Please note that I would appreciate it if Sarah was not placed in Mrs. S-----'s class. Any other teacher would be fine. Thank you for your consideration." Please keep in mind that typically placement is done before the end of the school year, even if the parents are not notified of the placements until later in the summer. Placements are based on a lot of things - balance of boy/girl, balance of early/late birthdays, low/average/high readers, while obeying maximum number of students per class so making a request after placements are done can create a lot of work, it's not just a matter of switching out one student.
As for bullies and behavioral problems, these can exist in any class, with any teacher. How they are handled when it's a recurring problem is typically up to administration and not just the teacher, and there is certain information about students which is confidential and you are not privy to. While I'm certain that your proposed science experiment was excellent, the teachers must teach the curriculum. In the elementary school where I work, all subjects are based on a particular curriculum which the teachers must follow and there really isn't free time for parents to come in and teach extra stuff.

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

If you made it clear when your son was in K that you were unhappy with the teacher the principal may already know (is it the same principal?) Write a letter to the principal, stick to a few FACTS, not opinions (for instance your son was better for the sub could be seen as an opinion, unless you received written reports on his behavior from the sub. You received vague reports on your son's behavior from the teacher is a fact and must be included. The teacher did not respond well to your complaints about bullying in the classroom:fact. Leave out the I offered to donate and she didnt respond. Use the phrase "not right for us" that's a good way to put it. In schools where I work and where my children attend we are asked to write not about specific teachers but about our child's learning style, personality etc. For instance My child responds best to... and then write something that does not sound like the unwanted teacher. If you know there is a younger, or more experienced or male teacher in the same grade level you could say my child would do well with ....a younger, or older, or male, teacher. In other words describing another teacher without naming them.
Hope this works!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Re the science lessons, these are generally mandated by the district. The school has a cirriculum in place that the teachers MUST follow. They are so strapped for time they rarely can accommodate parents wanting to come in and teach extra lessons. It just doesn't usually work that way. Also, the first half of kindergarten is very heavy on the basics, reading, writing and math, so it is not surprising that there is more of a switch to science and other studies towards the end of the year. I've seen that with all three of my kids.
Also your daughter may have a VERY different experience than your son. Teachers are people, and they have different personalities and styles. Some are more warm and communicative than others. Some are less fuzzy and run a tighter ship. My older daughter absolutely LOVED her fourth grade teacher, so naturally I was thrilled when my younger one got her as well. But she didn't like her at all, and I felt she was overly h*** o* my daughter. I voiced my concerns, of course, but I didn't request a change (not that they would have done that anyway.) With thirteen years of school our kids, and we as parents, need to learn that they will not like every teacher, nor will every student teacher relationship be a perfect fit, that's just not possible.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

First she was not right for your son, that doesn't mean that she will not be right for your daughter. Just want to point that out cause I have seen that in my own family. Didn't like a teacher, then one of my other kids would get them and it would be night and day.

Now our school allows parents to but in a teacher request, but there are no guarantees....usually you get who you asked for. You could just send a letter, really though if that is their policy all you can do is hope for the best.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I wouldn't address it unless she is assigned to your daughter. Then I would march in to the principal's office with everything you've told us, sit down, and tell him/her the situation. Absolutely don't let your DD suffer through what your son went through. My brother struggled with bad teachers in elementary school and it shaped his entire attitude toward school in general.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

Write a letter to include everything that you just told us. You have very valid reasons for not wanting that teacher. You are also being very polite by saying that you don't think she's a bad teacher. I would also give the letter to the principal in person to make sure it gets to the appropriate person who classes the students. It shouldn't be a problem at all since you are having such a positive attitude. Good luck.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Might just be the perfect teacher for your daughter. Might want to give her a chance. Besides, you do not even know if your daughter will get her.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't know how things work in your state, but in my state if you specifically request that your child Not have a certain teacher, that has to be honored. You can not request that they do have a specific teacher but they are required to honor you request for Not. I have done this for the first time ever for this coming year and I just feel relieved not to have to worry about my child have that teacher. I am sure they all are wonderful teachers in their own way, but I have experience with them and I know my child, I don't think it would be a good match.

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I don't know about where you are, but here the teachers have been assigned for weeks already. The kids received their report cards Friday, with their classroom assignments for fall, so it would be way too late to make a change. I can understand that the teacher might not appreciate the science experiment, as the teachers generally already have a curriculum they need to teach. We have the same policy of not honouring requests, but I guess it doesn't hurt to make your feeling known either.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

honey our school has the same policy that you can't request a certain teacher. fine with me. so i always contact the previous teacher (for example from this year) and ask her to put my child with this teacher (for next year). don't make a big deal out of it. just email your child's current teacher (when the time comes) and ask to help with the younger child's teacher assignment. the email should be short, sweet and to the point, finish with thanks so much for your help!!!! i really appreciate it
:)
in fact. last week i sent my kids' current teachers the request for next year. i have already received confirmation.

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

It's more than likely your child has already been assigned but you first need to know even if she has that teacher or not.

If she is the teacher, then considering your previous experience, a letter to the principal and asst principal would not be out of order. I would keep to the facts and dont discount your position by saying, "she's not a bad teacher". You dont have to say she is a good one either. Just keep it out. I would keep it simple discussing the teacher's lack of effective communication with you, your concern over the teacher's slow response to valid bully concerns. Describe how another teacher would better fit your daughter's educational needs and how you would feel more able to donate your time and energy to being a parent volunteer if she had a different teacher. I hope it works out for you!!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Write the school and copy the AP, the superintendent along with the assist superintendent. Follow up with e-mails or phone calls to all four.

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A.G.

answers from Mayaguez on

The time to sit and discuss this with the principal is when you visit the school to register your daughter, Politely explain that while you consider her a good teacher, you would prefer having your daughter with the other teacher; due to the approach she had towards some problem solving in class.
Though schools discourage parents from asking for certain teachers (if they did, some classrooms would be empty, while others overflowed), you have grounds for your petition. Good luck

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