Updated on May 13, 2010
E.K. asks from Hawthorne, CA
12 answers

My family and I are planning on relocating, and I am worried about my two teenage children because it is their last year in high school. Am contemplating if I should stay and let them finish, or let them finish at another high school. The children are very excited about the move, and they are doing well academically but i am not very sure.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think you have anything to worry about. When I was 16 (going into my junior year) my parents relocated from Florida to California. I thought I was going to be miserable but alas I was just fine. I made new friends, my grades actually improved, I went off to college & started a career. I think I'm a more well-rounded person because of it. The move actually forced me out of my comfort zone & I adapted. Hope this helps.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I had to relocate 3 mths before I was to graduate highschool. My mom spoke with the school board and they went ahead and gave me my diploma early. Try something like that.



answers from Los Angeles on

It depends. Are you relocating to another state? I think you should have your children finish their last year in high school. It is a very emotional event for your children and it is best to have them graduate with all of their friends.




answers from Seattle on

It's my opinion that high schoolers are old enough to help make this decision... if they are excited about moving, that will help a lot in the transition. However, if they want to stay, and it's feasible, that may be the better choice. The important thing is that their feelings are considered, and they feel included in the process.

Good luck!



answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.,
My dad relocated us from North Carolina to California (across the country!) when I was a junior in high school. Since I had been in NC since 2nd grade, it was difficult to think about graduating with a bunch of strangers, rather than the kids I had grown up with. In hindsight, I wouldn't change things now - I've still kept in touch with kids from both schools. I think the most important things to consider are: 1) reason for relocation (job, family, etc) 2) making your kids feel like they have some input 3) making sure their academic credits are easily transferable & curriculum is similar, so it does not affect their graduation/college plans? Not sure if you are a single mom or with a spouse, but hopefully you have someone else close to you that can help you make the decision. Good luck!



answers from San Diego on

This was me. My family moved the summer before my senior year. I asked to stay at the same school. The school district allowed "senior priviledge" and make an exception since we lived out of the area. I didn't want to start over with people I didn't know well. I wanted to have lifetime memories with the friends I had. I still keep in touch with a few friends (14 years later). IMHO, if you can hold out, wait. They may be trying to make this easy on you by saying they are excited, but they may really want to stay. Talk it over with them and make sure you are all on the same page, truly.



answers from Los Angeles on

Normally, parents should bend over backwards not to take teens from their school. If your teens are excited about the move and are doing well in school, then there does not seem to be a problem. Not that kids should call the shots, but it sounds like there's room for their input into your decision.



answers from Los Angeles on

If it is possible to stay for one more year than I would encourage a heart to heart talk with the kids. If one is excited to move, but the other wants to stay and graduate from their current HS, I wold say that the family should stay. If both are happy with the idea of moving, than I would go ahead and do so. I wouldn't take too long to move though, as changing states may change graduation requirements. This could leave them to needing extra units to meet state accademics.

If you REALLY need to leave for some reason, such as amazing job opp., and they want to stay, perhaps there is a family member that would be willing to care for them this year. You could pay a "child support" so to say to them for the year. I know it would be hard, but may be your best coice. My Aunt had to move (from CA to CO) during my cousin's Sr. year. When she went to regester in the admisions office they looked over her transscript and told her she would not be able to grad until the following Fall because she didn't have some of the ST required classes. So, her Mom put her back on a plane to come live with us for 4 months until she Grad HS. My Aunt sent a check to my Mom for about $200 a month (1991) to cover her daughters "food and allowance". My Mom never asked for it, but my Aunt felt that she should sense she'd be spending that money on her anyway.

Just some ideas. I hope it helps~J.



answers from Honolulu on

As a military wife, we have had many friends in exactly the same situation (although some don't have the option of staying where they are). I think the decision needs to have input from the kids. Some feel very strongly about graduating with their friends, if they spent their entire high school years at the same school. If it is an option for you to put off the move, or to get a Geographical Exception to have the kids stay in the same school, that would be my advice.



answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter was very excited to move also. But when we did she became very introverted and had to be put on medication for depression. She started to wear black and cut herself.
It could be possible that these things were going to happen anyways.
If I had to do it over again, I would not have moved.
Good luck!! :)



answers from Chicago on

Check us out on our website
We are aware of adolescent adjustments and provide loving support
Some times it is best to finish the high school years in the same school. Being the last year in high school the move and trying to fit in a new setting may be a little stressful. They will be moving on to college anyways after finishing the high school
Best wishes and good luck in your relocation



answers from Houston on

I would let them stay for sure! Unless they don't like their highschool...
But make sure you stay with them, a lot of parents move and trust the teenagers to handle themselves on their own for part of the time, and I think that's a big mistake.

Even seniors in highschool need their parents. Good luck!


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