Relaxers for Bi-Racial Daughter

Updated on November 16, 2007
H.B. asks from Pittsburgh, PA
9 answers

I am looking to find out some names of some good relaxers that i could do myself . my daughters hair is very thick and long.I use to have a Salon do it all the time,but the girl i use to have do her hair quit and the new girls that took over want 150 to do her hair the other girl charged 80.I hate going into stores and asking cause i get twenty different stories and end up buying stuff i never really needed.she just turned 13 and i have used the kid ones ,but they never turned out, and i am not sure what the girl at the salon used.

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answers from Philadelphia on

Hello H.. I am an African American woman, and I was going to suggest a comb attachment on a hair dryer. Taking sections of hair, and using the blow dryer on the hottest setting to get through the hair. It helps a great deal to straighten the hair.
As far as relaxers are concerned, I have found that the premixed relaxers work best because it is mixed very well. You can find this type in "Motions". All you really need is the perm, neutralizer shampoo, and a good moisterizing conditioner. You can call me if you want, my sister is a hair dresser. My number is ###-###-####. Hope this helps.

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answers from Philadelphia on

Hi H.,
I'm an African American woman and what i would suggest is if there is a Sally's hair supply store near you they should give you good advice but if there isn't then I would suggest PCJ for kid in course or Just for me in course and if you have to try an adult perm then use Organic's Olive Oil perm in mild formula. These are the ones I you on my daughters hair one has hair close to indian hair when permed and the older one has hair that is thick and curly like the actress Cree Summer that use to play an the tv show A Different world.
Good luck and take care,



answers from Philadelphia on

I was going to say you should use the one for kids, but you have already tried that. I know a lot of people that use adult relaxers on their children's hair. But the ones for children are made for children. If you are considering trying an adult one on your daughter's hair make sure you get a mild one. They usually have labels that say, "mild, regular or super." If they don't have mild then use regular. I have not used a relaxer on my daughter's hair yet, I keep it in braids. But my mom started relaxing my hair when I was 11. She used an adult perm on my hair and she used Dark & Lovely. It's been around for years and it worked good for me. I used it up until I was 16. I am black & puerto rican so my hair may be more corse than your daughters but I still use Dark & Lovely sometimes.

...and that salon is crazy to charge you $150 just for a relaxer. Salon's here usually charge $40 or $50 for a relaxer. $25 to wash it and straighten the hell out it with a flat iron.

I hope you find something that works for you. The best thing to do may be to find a salon that does not charge as much. I'm saying that because they are supposed to be the experts in hair care.




answers from Atlanta on

Hi H.,

I am a bi-racial woman. My hair is also pretty thick when it is natural. It is VERY curly!! I have used just about every relaxer known to man (children's and adult)and have not been happy with any of the results. They were either too weak or way too strong, both ruining my hair until it grew out. I have learned the hard way, to just leave it alone! I keep my hair curly in the summertime because no relaxer can get rid of my friz when the humidity hits or the waves at the roots. In the winter I keep it straight so I don't go outside with wet hair. I recently received a hair dryer that staightens my hair wonderfully! It is the Infiniti Hair Designer by Conair. I love it!!! Before I would blow it out, then use the hot comb to flatten it and then a curling iron to curl and soften the ends - all this took 1.5 to 2 hours (I had to do this with or without a perm). With this dryer, all I do is blow dry it in 2 inch sections, and I'm done in about 30 to 45 minutes. It comes out really nice, full and soft {bouncin' and behavin'!}No hotcomb, no curling iron - less damage, less money (no salon!). If I don't have time to dry it, I can just wash it and go since it will still curl because I don't have a relaxer.

Hope this helps. I remember those teen years, I absolutely hated my hair and was always trying to change it, but I always made it worse. I'm sure your daughter is beautiful, curly or straight :)




answers from Pittsburgh on

Hello H., I am a mother of 3 girls so I know what you're going thru. I have a 15, 6, and a 3 year old. I have been doing my own perms since my early 20's and my oldest daughter's since she was about 6. There are some really good products out there, but you have to know what you're doing in order to get the best results.
I have a cousin who is bi-racial and she highly recommends using the Olive Oil relaxer. She has a sensitive scalp and she says it leaves her hair really silky.
The real key to a good relaxer is the time you can leave it in before it starts to burn (atleast 5 min full coverage). Always start in the area that needs it most. Make sure she doesn't scratch her scalp at all before applying the perm. If you work it into the roots well and are able to work fast enough you will have time to concentrate on working it more in the problem areas. If she has sensitive scalp make sure to use the gel that comes with the kit (or Vaseline) to cover her scalp BEFORE applying the perm. Make sure you pick up a perm application comb and a pair of reusable rubber gloves they fit better than the cheap ones that come in the kit. The comb will help to apply it better to the roots and around the edges.
Another key to a good result is to make sure you mix the relaxer and the activator WELL. It should be real creamy almost like dripping whipped cream.
When it's time to wash it out you should use the kitchen sink w/ a high pressure sprayer otherwise the bathroom tub will have to do. I always rinse atleast 2 times before using the shampoo. Then be sure to shampoo atleast 2 times. Scrub the scalp as much as possible.
If you have anymore questions, I'd be glad to answer them. My email is it comes out well you'll be happy you saved all that money.
Good Luck!



answers from Erie on

Hi H.,

I would look and see if you have a Sally Beauty Supply store close by.. Everyone that works there is very educated on hair, so I'm sure you can find the right product your looking for, All the stuff they sell is salon quality but little on price!
Hope this helps,
A. C.



answers from Washington DC on

I'm an kitchen hair stylist and bi-racial also and kids relaxers never worked for my hair. I've used Dartk & Lovely or Gentle Touch, it's Gentle something. If you use one of those, you can get them in any store, use the gentle strength, not regular or super on her and be sure to use a base (petroleum jelly)so she doesn't burn. If this is the first time that you are going to do it yourself, practice first with conditioner or something else on her head. Speed is important.



answers from Philadelphia on

Hi. I'm AA and I have several bi-racial, female cousins. Their mothers relaxed their hair and all got different results. Bi-racial hair can be difficult to figure out as far as what type of chemicals work best. Also, you have to be careful because if you use the wrong stuff or something that is too strong, you can ruin her hair or change the grade of her texture forever. Not trying to scare you, but I would try to take her to a salon. Ask around to other people with bi-racial children that have permed their hair. My uncle takes his little daughter (she's bi-racial) to a shop where Dominican girls relax her hair. They do a great job, and I have heard this from other people too. I think it's partially because some Dominican people have a different type of hair also. Good luck. I think the blow-dryer with the attachment is a good thing to try. I do that with my daughter's hair and it has relaxed her hair enough to make it lay down without using chemicals. Take care. :)



answers from Charlotte on

Hello H.,
I’m AA. I can understand about the cost of hair care. I’m not sure on how thick your child’s hair is but I can try to offer some subjections. I usually wash my hair everyday and wear it Naturally Curly. After I wash it I add Paul Mitchell foaming pomades, and mouse and let it dry naturally. Every few months (when it gets cold) I decide I want it straight so I do a child's version relaxer with a color code. (This way I don’t over process it). The lather starts of pink but turns white when all of the relaxer is out. I can use a child’s version and it usually last about 4-5 months. When I use an adult relaxior (mild) it can last me about a year. If the children’s version is not working maybe she needs to be moved up to a mild adult version. If that does not work then I would wait at least a month before doing anything else. I would take her to the salon just to have them straighten it without using any chemicals. Example: (blow drying, hot curling, ect) This usually cost about $25-$40. Also ask them how to wrap your daughter’s hair at night. This will help make it easier to maintain in the morning. It also helps train the hair. If all else does not work then maybe you could try a stronger adult version. As far as brands go I’ve never noticed a different with the relaxers sold in the stores. But make sure that it has a color code so that you can ensure you are not over processing her hair. Good luck, K..

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