Regression After Constipation

Hi K.,

I have had experience with constipation with my first child. It is a serious matter and I would be inclined to go to a gatroenterologist to get it looked into. Another thing that can help is giving a Baby Fleet enema. It is just liquid glyerine and works fast and lubricates to make it easy to push the poop out.
Good luck.
W.
W.

All my daughters had this problem, the pediatrician attributed it to spastic colons and a combination of low motivation and just not wanting to stop playing to go poop. He suggested using Miralax for a couple of days (it may be messy because they can't hold it, so they may just go) but eventually they will learn that they have to go when they feel the sensation coming. For my middle child it was more of a control issue and she didn't start pooping in the toilet until she was 4. Try the Miralax only for a couple of days and see if this works in conjunction with praising and celebrating. And don't make such a big deal, it's part of parenting, be patient...as far as I've been able to tell no child is still in diapers by the time she's in PreK. Let them do it when they're ready.

I glanced at all the rsponses in hopes of not repeating anything...lots of good ideas and thoughts.

I agree that she probably associates pooping and hurting with going on the potty. Have you tried giving her a stool softener? Ask your pediatrician what he would recommend, but I think Milk of Magnesia is a good safe one. Also, to help the poop not hurt, try putting a step stool in front of the potty. If she is able to rest her feet on there, with her kness bent up, she'll have a little better "leverage" with which to push the poop out and it won't hurt as much.

Something else to think about: Her diet. Dairy is constipating. Try reducing her intake of dairy for a while and see if you notice an improvement. If she's not getting enough fiber, try adding prunes, pears, cherries, grapes, raisins or other poop-inducing fruits. (try the Sunsweet Ones prunes -- my daughter loves them!) Just be careful to not give her too much of these...you don't want the opposite problem. Also, be sure to give her plenty of water during the day...that will help her stay regular too.

In order to get her to go poop on the potty again, you might have to bribe her -- just to get her to do it and show her it doesn't always hurt. What does she like? Is there a toy she wants? A book? It could be as small as a cookie...Whatever would motivate her to get on the potty and POOP. Tell her she'll get it if she goes on the potty. Start with something small maybe that she can get each time she goes -- and make a HUGE deal about it...shower her with praises and tell her how proud you are of her. Then if she goes to the potty 5 times or 3 times or whatever...take her to get that toy she wants or that book. Or take her on a special outing - just the two of you. Go to lunch or go shopping. (My daughter loves having a girls' day! We can go to WalMart and she calls it "shopping with Mommy")

I also agree that since she's doing this out of fear that it will hurt, keeping your focus on POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT is the way to go.

Best of luck!

Talk to your doctor. My neice did this and would get in trouble for going in her pants. It turned out she had a small twist in her bowel and she would hold it because it hurt and finally her body wouldn't be able to hold it any more and she would have an accident.

We just went through the same thing with our 2 1/2 yo. Whatever you do, don't get upset with her. She has had severe pain and has been conditioned to think that every time she has to go poopy, it will hurt. Have you tried prunes? My mom gave our DD some the first day that she experienced severe pain (we thought it was a UTI, because she refused to pee either). After about 24 hours, the prunes worked....she screamed while she was on the potty because she didn't want to go, but once she did she perked up and said "All better". I would strive to get her to go on the potty a few times and once she realizes that the potty isn't making her hurt, she should be okay. Good luck!!

Hi K.,I feel for you!!!!! We went through this with our son. The Doc. finally put him on Miralax. It works however we got tired of giving him medication. Now we give him Plum Smart juice,works like a charm. It taste like a light grape juice. Hope this helps. Cindy

I don't think it would hurt to try the ultimatum "diapers or the potty" tactic. This will work if she despises diapers.The problem is very understandable, hard poop hurts, even as an adult. Do you have her wash out her own panties? Put them in a separate place in the laundry so she can put them all in the washer? She is old enough to understand about being a stinky little girl or a clean little girl. Maybe that talk will work. Give 4-6 m&m's as a prize each visit to the potty 5 times a day! If she can go all day with clean pants, get her a lollipop. She can understand to go to the potty and make little poops instead of in her panties. Patience is the key here Mom. She can't help it. I run to the potty 5 times a day myself sometimes!!!! Good Luck v.h.

She has only been here three years. Try to understand from her point of view. She knows nothing about her body and how it works. She has a very bad experience to compare to life. And now her mother is upset with her. It will take time and patience. I amased at the things three year olds think and do. They are so lttle and sweet. Try to draw her out and understand her. Something in her little mind is trying to understand what is going on. She has you. You are her world. Stay close to her and love her. It will pay off in the end.

There is a lot of good advice on here and I didn't read it all so I am sorry if someone allready mentioned this but my daughter went through this at around 3 or 4 and we figured out that her problem was as simple as apple juice. Once we cut that out the apple juice th constipation went away. I told this to someone I knew that was having this problem with their child and they cut the apple juice out and it went away for their child as well. This may not be your child's problem but I know how difficult it is to see your child suffering and thought I would post it just in case she drinks apple juice.

Hi K. - I would buy some pull ups and allow her to work this out. I would also see her Pediatrician.
Elimination issues are a pivital point in a childs emotional development (have you heard anal retentive personality??? where do you think that comes from).
Think long term - I have yet to see a normal 30 year old who didnt go in the potty - good luck!
T. S.

You need to come up with something original.. Punishing your daughter in anyway for these accidents, ESPECIALLY since she is doing this out of a fear base and not out of stubborness, is only going to cause things to get worse. Children this age often believe they are getting in trouble for going potty at all and try to hold it in, only to have another accident.

I would go back to some potty training basics and help her through her fear. Explain that holding it in will only cause the poop to get hard to push out. Then tell her going a few times a day to help prevent this is good, but that she needs to tell you so she can go potty in the toilet. Keep in mind that since she had the painful poop on the toilet, she may be associating the toilet with pooping hurting so she thinks if she goes in her underwear it won't hurt. Take a couple of days off and do not make any plans. Make sure she sits on the toilet once a hour even if you have to be there with her to read to her and otherwise distract/comfort her. This way she will hopefully remember that the hurtful poop was one time but going potty is such a big girl thing that she wants to do. Don't forget to make a huge deal out of it if she goes in the potty.

I wish you well!!!! Good Luck!!! ;-)

Our peditrician had us use Miralax(to help soften the stool) and a potty system. The problem is now your daughter has trained her body not to go. The potty system is 2-3 times a day sit on the potty for 15 minutes, if she goes give an instant reward. Keep chart of clean underwear, after 5 days big reward. I used extra computer game time or cartoons as reward. Big reward was a small toy, picking going out for dinner(reward for us both), playing golf with Dad, and we even did water balloons. While she sits on the potty let her read or play a game. It is not a quick fix but it works. Do not get angry or punish, I did at first and it was a huge mistake. After talking to the doctor I found out it is a medical condition not a behavior issue.

Stay positive, try something natural,it worked
for my granddaughters.

thanks,
Oly

My daughter is 6 and has the same problem. I would get mad at her for going in her pants and after this went on for a couple of months I took her to the doctor. Come to find out she has no control of her bowels due to constipation. Her constipation is so bad that it streches out the nerves and she feels no sensation. There is really no easy solution. She has been taking Miralax every night and suppositories every once in a while. The doctor says we have to try to get her regular. We have been dealing with this for almost a year. We have seen a specialist and we take x-rays of her stomach to make sure there is not blockage. Hang in there. My advice is to take her to her pediatrician.

Hi K.-

I'd start by ensuring she never gets constipated- no pudding or custards at all, and only minimal eggs and dairy...

Then also I'd add frozen collard greens (or mustard greens or kale)to any food I can (soups, tacos, brownies, almost anything)- they're good nutrition and great fiber! I'm not a big fan of prunes or apricots, they make my stomach hurt... but grapefruit is good. Any of these will work within 24 hours, given you do not feed her custard. Also make sure she's drinking enough water and that she does have some good fats in her diet, olive oil, nut-butters, salmon (usually not a problem).

Anyway then as others have mentioned have her try on the potty 4 times a day all the while assuring her that the food she's been eating is the 'medicine' she needed to solve the problem. Give her reassurance that she's ok now and it shouldn't hurt anymore. She'll get past this, and so will you...

After that keep trying to identify any foods that make you or your spouse constipated, and restrict those things from her diet, and watch for other signs she's getting constipated- if she is then write down everything she's eaten and get those problem foods identified so you'll all know for the future.

I've done all that with my girls and they BELIEVE me when I tell them to eat their greens, in fact they typically order soups and salads when were at a restaurant.

Best of luck. This could be a blessing in disguise...
J. C

Just start using pull ups again until she is re-trained. She will out grow it.

just try to be understanding. shes trying to prevent herself from hurting. smart kid. talk to her, love her, and award her when she doesn't do it. try bribing her to start with. thats such a funny age. you'd be surprised what just might work.

Hi K.!

My son is 3 and went through the same thing. Only we found out that he wasn't in control of his bowel following the constipation. He had a blockage in his colon and the BMs that he was having were just leaking out.

It looked like it could ALMOST be diarrhea so I thought maybe it was a stomach virus because he was also complaining about tummy aches and that he was just deciding on his own not to be poppy trained for a while.

I took him to the doctor and they did an x-ray and sure enough his entire bowel was full of a large blockage. Previous to this he had had only ONE day of constipation.

They recommended we give him 1/2 a teaspoon of milk of magnesia every 4 hours until he passed something large enough to have come out of an adult (that's how the nurse at the pediatrician's office described what I was to look for). We did that for about a week before I was sure his BMs were back to normal (not so loose).

Previous to this incident my son was just finally getting poopy trained, but following this we're having to retrain him. We find that we just have to sit him on the potty at the same times every day (i.e., before breakfast, after breakfast, middle of the morning, before lunch, before nap, after nap, after supper, before bathtime, before bed, etc.) to give him plenty of regular opportunities to have a BM on the potty.

I find, in my son's case, if I don't give him a chance to soil himself, he gets used to having clean underwear.

But my advice is to take you baby to the doctor. This situation may be out of her control.

I hope this helps.

C.

OMG. I'm STILL going thru this with my daughter. She has Encropesis and if not treated it can cause Sepsis. She needs Miralx for a laxative and a stool softner. Take her to your Pedi and let them tell you. She's going in her pants b/c she probably is empacted with stool and when that happens the waste from her food (stool) is in her large intestine and it "leaks" out around the hard stool. Get it fixed ASAP b/c what will happen is her anal muscles will stretch and she won't be able to "feel" herself going in her pants. This will affect all your lives if not treated. It's not her fault, though. She's scared and it hurts. Please let me know what happens and good luck!

She might have Encopresis you can google this. It is usually followed by a bad bought of constipation. This is very easily treated with Miralax, and over time goes away. Good luck!!

Sounds very similar to what we dealt with. There can be a build up of stool in the bowel and some squeezes out around it. Sometimes the muscles/nerves in the area can get damaged and need to be retrained. Our pediatrician ordered an x-ray and determined she had some blockage. We did a bunch of Miralax to clean out the bowel and start fresh. Then we did a little Miralax a day to keep things soft and sat on the toilet after every meal for 5-10 minutes. This is usually the time BMs happen. I remember getting so frustrated and getting upset with my daughter, only to find out she really couldn't help it. So, stay positive and think about getting into the doctor to see if this is what's going on. Good luck! Things got better for us very quickly.

My daughter has had constipation problems since birth which made her extremely difficult to potty train. I talked with her doctor on numerous occasions and we decided to put her on MiraLax to soften her stools so they would not hurt her any more. The doctor seemed to think that onece she quit associting pain with poopying then maybe she would go in the potty. She also assured me that MiraLax was not something that she would become dependent on nor give her an upset stomach. After being on MiraLax for about 1 1/2 months she was finally successfully pooping in the toilet. She was turning 5 years old by this time. Anyway, thought that I would share our experience. Hope it helps.

Give her 2-4 tsps of prune juice a day like medicine to make sure she doesn't get constipated again. Then work up to every other day. But don't let too many days go by without it - or the fear will start all over again. If she is now - she needs more to begin with.

Don't throw away the underwear. Soak and/or wash them with Vinegar. It disinfects safely (no bleach) as well as bleach. GoodHousekeeping studied it. You might have to wash twice (vinegar and detergent). Depending on how badly they smell.

Once you know she is not constipated, then you have to reassure her that it is safe to go on the toilet, especially since she's going anyway in her panties. Stay in with her and use soft wipes to clean her for awhile. This may take awhile. My son still has a fear - but does great in spite of it. But, when he gets a little scared, he pleads for that prune juice sometimes when he's on the toilet! I know it doesn't work that fast - but he thinks so...It calms him down and then he goes. Maybe I'll explain it to him better later. But right now, it calms him down.

Stressed at home too! Ha! I always imagined my perfect little life once I became a housewife. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! But still wouldn't trade with anyone...yet.

My 3-year-old daughter just went through this situation a couple of weeks ago. She never pooped in her pants but she was having a terrible time with constipation and painful poops and refused to poop. I started a few things that helped a lot. I cut down a little on her milk intake, made her drink a lot of water and started giving her a fiber supplement, FiberMate. We live in a small town so I got it online. I started by crushing two of them into her juice. After just a few hours I could tell she needed to go. Since I figured it would probably be softer and I knew she really had to I just put her on the potty and told her we'd stay there until she pooped. After about 10 minutes or so she had gone. After a couple of days she got used to her poops not hurting and started going on her own again. Now I only give her one FiberMate each day and I give her KidGreenz, a chewable green vegetable supplement. She's so regular she now goes at least twice a day (which is supposedly healthy b/c her body's ridding itself of all that junk). Her stool is soft but not too soft. She makes sure to ask me for her "medicine" juice b/c she never wants to have those hard poops again! Hope this helps!

MY oldest daughter had the same problem. I had to take her to the doctor and they prescribed a laxative that was a powder that I would have to put in her drinks. It eventually helped but being constipated so long actually messed up her blatter. She is seven now and still has problem holding her pee. The doctor said that being constipated so long caused her blatter not know how to contract, so she doesn't know she has to go potty until her blatter is completly full. My daughter used to cry really hard everytime she went, or she would sit on the toilet and just cry becuase she knew it was going to hurt. It broke my heart. But the faster you get it fixed the less problem she will have as she gets older. Good luck and take care.
A.