My three year old refuses to potty train. We tried several weeks ago, he understands what the potty is for, he used it to pee at least once a day (we had to prompt him and offer treats). As each day went on he became more resistant, and I noticed his diapers at nap and bedtime were getting totally soaked when they had been pretty much dry. He even started having BMs at nap...that's when we realized he was holding it all day and waiting for nap and bedtime to pee and have bms. He then told us he was afraid of the potty and wanted his diapers back NOW. We had HUGE issues with our now 6 year old, who we still argue with to stop what he is doing and pee AND he is chronically constipated (takes Miralax every day) so we are afrraid to push the 3 year old. Has anyone been through this? Should we push him or let him tell us when he is ready?
My first, my son, trained by not wearing anything his bottom. Half way into the week he got it. My 2nd, my daughter I told her there were no more diapers. I bought her 14 pairs of underwear, she went along with it. My last, my daughter, was eager to keep up with her siblings and trained at 25 months. I never rewarded with things, only the potty song which was a marching band song.
Good luck
i agree with the last 2 posts and not forcing it. it will only make you both crazy. i have a 5 year old who i thought would never use the pot and one day he decided he was ready and he never wore diapers again. and now i am going thru the same thing with my 3 year old. i just ask him all the time and let him pick out rewards at the store. only recently has he really started to pee on the pot but he doesn't care to go #2. myself and his older brother always encourage, but i don't force and i don't punish. he'll get it soon enough. good luck to you.
Don't pressure him. Offer him the potty several times a day. If he accepts the offer great, if not, just tell him "okay, just let me know if you decide you want to try it." If he is holding his pee and poop just to not use the potty, it's not good for his body. He will come around. I didn't think my little guy would ever choose to use the potty, but he did. Literally, one day he finally came out and said, "mommy, i want to use my potty." I was one elated mommy!!
Okay, well -- we stumbled on this system for potty training because we were living in a little apartment. Instead of using a separate potty for kids, it is a potty seat for kids plus a stool that fits on the regular toilet. It came with stickers. It was very easy for us to train both our kids using this system. I think first because it doesn't seem weird to them -- they know they are using the same potty that their parents use. Second, they use the potty, they get a sticker to put on the lid to their seat. I did something with my kids that most parents are afraid to do because of the possibility of a mess -- but we had had a dog for 10 years before we had kids -- so it didn't seem too intimidating. When I seriously decided to potty train them, I took a week in the summer time when we didn't have school or anything else big going on and let them run around in the house either naked or without pants for at least half a day. A big hurdle for potty training is that it is hard for them to get pants off and on. And plus they don't want to pee on the floor, without anything to soak it up, so they are more motivated to make it to the toilet. When they went in the toilet, they were rewarded with a sticker. If they had an accident on the floor, I just cleaned it up -- said no big deal -- you'll make it next time. Both of them were basically potty trained in a week. But, I would cut them breaks -- put them in pullups if we were going out and kept diapers around for the car, etc. Tried to push them a little if we were at home and it was easy and allowed them to have diapers if we were going to have to sprint to a public bathroom. It's stressful for them, so take the pressure off, but nudge them toward doing it. Not saying you do -- but the big thing in my case was to never make a fuss if they messed up and had an accident because they get upset anyway. I always just said, okay, everything cleans up -- it's not a big deal, don't worry.
i would back off this child altogether. you already know what can happen when you push a child before he's ready, so don't make the same mistake again. 3 year olds don't *refuse* to potty train, they resist what is baffling and incomprehensible and frightening. please please please let this little fellow go at his own pace.
khairete
S.
This is very common. Look at this from a 3 year olds perspective. The toilet is scary. It is huge and not comfortable when you are a small child. It feels like you are going to fall in.
Put the seat up and try to go to the potty this way moms .. This is what it feels like.. Even with a childs potty seat, notice the childs feet dangle. To make a BM most children really need to push using their feet. Try to find a step stool he can place his feet on while on the potty.. He probably really needs this since he has a constipation problem. Also make sure he realizes that if you have a seat insert, it will not pop off while he is on it.
Some children do not like potty chairs because they are afraid of their BMs and the smell. They are used to comments being made about, "wow, this was a full diaper." "Yikes, this is a mess." "Ugh this is really stinky." "Don't touch the dirty diaper it is nasty and full of germs."
Next thing he knows we are asking him to go potty where the BM is close to their body AND expect them to clean themselves. This was a "grown up job" yesterday now we want them to handle it. What are we going to ask them to do next? Drive the car?
I suggest you let him practice flushing the potty so he can get used to the tremendous sound. Remind him to never flush anything but his waste and toilet tissue. Let him know that it does make a lot of sound but he will not ever be able to be flushed away since the pipes are way too small.
Ask what makes him afraid of the potty and really listen. See if the 2 of you can find some solutions.
I am sending you strength and patience. He will get there, it may be on his own time, so be ready.
we went through this with both my kids. As bad as it may sound, my philosophy was as long as you don't have accidents, I was fine with holding it for a while. What finally clued both my kids into going was when I knew they were ready to pop, I would force them on the potty (I only had to do this once with each) and when they went, it was like a light bulb went off. they got lots of treats and praise. We struggled with #2 with my son for quite a while. He would hold it until nap time and go in his pants. I think he liked standing up to go and he couldn't stand up on the potty. Then he would constipate himself. My peditrician told me to load them with fiber foods so they couldn't hold it in. By accident I stumbled on plum juice. After a glass a day, he was pretty regular and using the potty with success. He still gets rewards and praise each time. And we tell him what a big boy he is. Hang in there and in a few months you will be amazed at his progress.
My grandson is similarly acting like your six year old. Boys need to see their dads/or male figure who they trust/ do the bathroom routine. Using a potty chair, at 3, is still appropriate, I think. And it might be time to consider a child counselor. Without trying to be offensive, some kids have issues that we just don't know about and they are unwilling to talk with mom about or don't realize it. Use the pull-ups, not diapers; don't reward with treats, positive reinforcement like hugs or a favorite activity but not food. I made that mistake and have an overweight adult child because of it. Good luck and don't push.
Does he go to preschool? Peer pressure is what convinced my kids to start using the potty. Maybe seeing other kids doing it would get rid of his fear. At any rate, I'd say don't spend a lot of time and energy on it. He will do it when he's ready. Good luck!
First I would start feeding him prunes and raisins that will help with the constipation. If he doesn't eat them do chocolate covered prunes.
Don't tell him if he is picky what it is.
Remember this is a new experience for him..so is possibly quite scared. I would purchase some cool prizes put it up high so he has to see the stuff every day but is not allowed to touch it.
Now when he finally sits on the toiltet again I would give him a small prize.
Keep praising him telling him he is a big boy. Does he sleep in a bed or a crib. If he is still in crib..say wow I think now that your wearing big boy underwear we have to put the crib away. Or if he is already in a bed I would put the crib back out and tell him boys that still wears diapers have to sleep in the crib. Give him some prunes with breakfast then quickly put him on the toilet ...good luck.
I see that you are in Ashburn. You should check out www.parentingplaygroups.com. They are located in Alexandria and Falls Church. Dr. Rene Hackney is AWESOME! I went to her potty training workshop (and picky eating workshop which went hand in hand) and it was great. She does evening and weekend workshops for parents. It was really easy once my daughter was ready (she gives you real readiness signs) and helps with individual issues. Good luck!
