Really Need Advice, Sick and Tired of Being Sick

Updated on March 24, 2011
H.A. asks from Colbert, WA
15 answers

Hello to all, I'm hoping you can help me with a decision. My husband and I moved to Colorado from the northwest (a place I was maybe sick once per year) and have lived here for 2 1/2 years, I have been sick at least once per month: stomach flu, sinus infection, bronchitis, altitude sickness and so on. We had our first baby last June, and now that spring has come, he has been really sick too. Yesterday he was diagnosed with RSV and another sinus infection for me.

I understand that babies get sick, I understand that when they get sick the parents get sick too. I get that. However I was sick every month before we had our son. This last doctors appointment with my son finally did it for me. I want to move to a lower climate where there is more moisture.

I told my husband (our sole income-and a good income at that) about my feelings and he is angry with me now, stating that he has a really good job and likes the weather here. There is a job back in the northwest that he loved and has been guaranteed a position, but he says the weather is a big factor he doesn't like so much rain.

My husband hasn't been sick once since we've lived here, I understand that he likes his job, but I'm tired of being sick. And now that my baby is so sick, I'm really done living here.

I do have bad allergies and do take medication for them, I take vitamins and eat and exercise well and nothing helps with my random illnesses. I do have a blood condition that is sensitive to altitude but I do what I can for that. I really want my husband to be happy, but I really want to feel better too. And my son being sick consistently is unacceptable, if living somewhere else might help him.

I feel so guilty for wanting to move, like I'm irrational and over sensitive. I really need some advice on this.

What can I do next?

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answers from Denver on

I'm so sorry- Colorado really is a great place to live, and I can't imagine how frustrating it is for you that you haven't been able to enjoy it.

I don't know about the tummy troubles, but I know all too well about sinus stuff and bronchitis. Humidifiers help, especially for the kids. But for me, the neti pot changed my life. I used to get 5-6 sinus infections a year, and finally agreed to try the neti pot. I maybe get one per year now. It's super easy, just gross to get started, but now it's just a part of my routine.

I hope you find some answers and relief- for all of you!

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answers from Phoenix on

My first thought it is not the climate or the weather....but possibly something in your house making you sick. Since you stay at home it may be why you are getting more sick than your husband.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Albuquerque on

Have you had a mold evaluation done in your house? I wonder if there is something in the local environment (your house) that is affecting you. Generally, the illnesses you mention aren't related to altitude or lack of moisture... except for altitude sickness, of course. Sinus infections are frequently caused by toxins in the house... which is why I'd suspect mold or something like that. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

I would definitely have your house evaluated for mold, carbon monoxide or other irriatants. After I moved a couple years ago, my constant sicknesses went away. I discovered that the area I was living in had an extremely high yeast count in the air (due to a local bread company and brewery) and that many people had problems breathing that in even if they didn't have problems eating it.

Have you been seeing the same doctor since you have been there? If you can been skipping around they may not be able to help you figure it out, but try and get the whole history on paper and do some digging. You could be allergic to something in the area that your husband is not.

As for your little one, some little ones are sick through their first couple years, all the time! Whether or not they are in a daycare, it just happens. This last winter was awful for us! I felt like my little guy was sick every other week and I was starting to get really pissed actually. Then the weather has started getting nicer and so he has been feeling better.

With that said- it could be the same thing that is effecting you that is hurting him. That is a tough one. Maybe you are getting sick because he is getting sick and then you are just passing it back and forth. My husband never gets sick from my kid and yet I am constantly getting something.

Its hard when your hubby isn't sensitive to something that you feel is important. My husband doesn't 'believe' in medication. He will only take it if I hold him down (not really- but you know what I mean). I would say just do some research and try and find a really good diagnotician and see if there is really something that is making you sick or if you have just been really unlucky.

hang in there!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried a humidifier in each room. If the air is too dry and causing problems this may help... at least when you're home.

Read the other post.... good point. Have you had your house tested for mold or termites/pests?

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Denver on

have you had your house checked for mold?
have you had your allergies re-checked since you moved?
are you keeping a dirty diaper pail in the house, or proximity?
do you use cloth diapers or disposible?
do you use a humidifier for you and your son?
have you considered setting up a freshwater fish tank to help overall moisture in your house?
have you talked to a local allergist?
multiple daily sprays of saline in the nose help most colds and sinus issues, do you use saline?
have you tried using a netti pot for your sinus issues?

you listed a lot of problems, but nothing you're doing to try to solve those problems.

Best wishes!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Appleton on

I agree it may be something in your house. But try Echinacea, it boosts the immune system.
I don't think your hubby is being insensitive but he's not seeing the big picture. He doesn't want to live in all the rain of the Northwest and you don't want to deal with being sick all the time. I would start to look for an area that has a climate you both like and a good job for him.
I know someone who lives in Galveston TX and he said the cost of living there is about the same as here in Wisconsin but the starting wage in most jobs is $15,000 + a year more. No snow or below zero weather to deal with etc-- got me thinking. And jobs are available. Not saying you should move there but find a place where both of you can be happy.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

You've been given awesome advice from the women here so far. I would recommend trying each of these. Perhaps it is something like mold in the house which is causing you to be sick. Mold can be in the walls, ceilings, under the carpeting etc. Try having an evaluation done.

I would add to the Echinacea comment to increase your vitamin C intake or even try Cod Liver Oil (tastes horrible but does work in fighting off colds).

I know you don't like it there since you have been sick for months now but please let your husband know you are going to work on getting to the bottom of why you are getting so sick and perhaps he will be willing to meet you half way. It will stress him out at work knowing you aren't happy with the life he is trying to provide for you and the baby.

I hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I agree with the others about making sure that your house doesn't have an issue.

Also, you know you have bad allergies, but have you been tested by a doctor? Each climate has new triggers. My sister who lives in VA went to work the summer at a camp in Western NY and her asthma triggered on the 3rd night. She had to leave camp after a week because she was so sick and couldn't do the job she was hired for.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Eugene on

I'm wondering if the dry air is causing you to get sick more often. When your mucus membranes are wetter, the germs "drain away" rather than stick and multiply. Plus, you are on allergy meds which can dry you up even more.

It's dry here in Bend and we have a whole house humidifier attached to the furnace. It feels good to have the moisture in the air. We've used room vaporizers and humidifiers in the past, but this is easier because it's connected to our plumbing and doesn't have to be filled and cleaned all the time, just change the filter once a year. It may be expensive to install but it's cheaper than moving!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Austin on

So sorry you've been so sick! I kind of understand where you're coming from. Where I live doesn't make me physically ill so much as it has a terrible impact on my mental health. (I probably sound like a freak for saying that!) But it's true. (Hence my screen name)

Is there any other reason besides job that you are there? I know for us it's not just the job, in fact, the job isn't really an issue at all, even though times are hard and the job is a great one that DH doesn't want to give up and couldn't necessarily easily replace. For us, the problem is the pressure of extended family that we MUST live close by....and believe's pressure!

I don't think you should feel guilty, but you have to weigh his wants and needs too. It sounds like something that needs to be discussed continually for a while, it isn't something to make a split decision on. You have to weigh everything...not just now and a year from now, but the future, the job market, the economy, the cost of living...etc.

I say, talk with him about it, let him know you aren't trying to make such a big issue, but that you need to be heard on this and need him to put it in his mind and consider it and if you are people that do...pray about it!

The best thing I can say is to keep the communication flowing and an answer will become clear for you.


answers from Denver on

I love it here but I understand how you feel! I am also much healthier where there is humidity.

My suggestions:
A humidifier in every room you spend lots of time in is a GOOD idea. And get outside as much as possible. We do have good weather for that. Snow-shoeing is a good snow sport with kids (in a backpack or, when they are ready, on "bear claws"). Keep you windows open as much as possible (when the yellow pollen isn't dropping).

Also - things have been MUCH worse for me in the house we bought 3 years ago and I know we have a mold problem (one room has been remediated so far). It took awhile to accept - where there is no humidity, we should not have to worry about mold!

Good luck.

p.s. This has been the WORST year for getting sick. I swear one of the 5 of us has been sick for 11 of the past 12 months. Previous years have not been so bad....and I have had a child in school for 3 years. Not sure why this year has been so...snotty. ; )



answers from Springfield on

I want to chime in here for several reasons... I live in Colorado and it's arguably one of the healthiest places to live, BECAUSE of the climate and the wonderful outdoors that encourages people to exercise, get sunshine and live a healthier lifestyle. I also used to live in the Pacific NW too... that rain is a deal killer. With that said... the problem isn't where you live.... it's YOU. You just had a baby.... your resistance is down.... very common to pick up every bug that comes by. Are you taking your baby to day care? That's where he/she is picking up viruses. It sounds to me like your problem is a lifestyle one. Take one day at a time to exercise 20 minutes (while baby is sleeping or take him/her with you in the stroller and fast-walk or light jog). Start eating right. The diet I recommend is the Viva Mayr diet by Harold Stossier (google it). It's more a healthier way of eating, when to eat and how to aid our digestion better. It's not pre-packaged food... it's real food, eaten at certain times. You will look better and feel better and your immune system will build itself up again. Wash your hands constantly... you are either not washing them enough after trips to public places or spending too much time where others are sick. You sound a bit depressed, having moved to a new place. Maybe you're not meeting people you click with yet. That takes time. It usually takes about 4 years before you feel connected and like you belong to a new place... give it more time. Use this time to eat healthier, exercise more... the weather is warming up soon, to get outside, get some sunshine, drink lots of water, and wash your hands often. Take advantage of this wonderful state and change your mental outlook to get yourself out of this funk you find yourself in. :) You can do it!!



answers from Great Falls on

I live in Montana and understand your frustration! If I could, I'd have you over for a cup of coffee and we could chat... :-) We have been the same way at our house and people who've never really gone through chronic illness, especially with a young baby, don't really understand. I get frustrated often because people say take vitamins, exercise, or try this product...(no offense to anyone) and I've already done all that!! It sounds like you have too. We've gone through years of trying different things, products, naturopathics, etc. So I just want to whole-heartedly state, I'm so sorry you are going through this! It really is awful. I don't think you are being irrational, we all act on what we know. What you know is that you were healthier elsewhere. That being said, if your hubby likes it there, then he is stating what he knows and it creates tension. (been there) What worked for us is making a list--write a list of everything you like about the area. Your hubby may have more, but write them all down. Then write down what you don't like. Look at the things you don't like and see what you can change...for example, I hated feeling lonely, so I started going to a women's group for connection. For the things you do like, try to focus on those more and especially consider the things your husband likes there and have him tell you why he likes it and if it is something specific, try to find a way you can join him in his likes. (Like being outdoors together) You don't have to like it the way he does, but sometimes just getting his perspective helps you see the joy in something new (I'm still working on this, not trying to sound preachy!) Also, I'm learning that the brain is very powerful. Our bodies act on whatever we think...that's why scary movies do truly scare us (can't watch them myself!) even though that event isn't actually happening to us. SO, try to think of yourself as a healthy person working out some kinks, rather than always being sick. The more I think of myself postively, the healthier I feel and you're already taking steps to be healthy. The body is uniquely created and is so amazing!

Since the reality of chronic sickness does exist, some of the suggestions on here about checking the house and stuff are good ideas never know. Ultimately, you WILL be well again and stay well. It is so hard in the meantime and if you have anyone nearby to talk to or to help you out when you are sick, that will help. Our location alienated us from family and even though our family had the ability to travel, they didn't. (and we couldn't when sick) So for a long time, I felt abandoned, overwhelmed, and worn out. When you are sick, it is hard to take care of everyday things, let alone try to excel! So if you have someone out there, don't be afraid to call them. If not, get plugged in when you are feeling well. Eventually you'll find friends that are like family (I did) and can help you through it all.

Another thing that really helped me was journaling. Processing my feelings regularly feels really good! Sometimes I can go back and read through it and see that progress has been made.

I really do wish you all the best and the greatest health! I'll pray for you!

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