Really Having a Hard Time the Last Few Days

Updated on April 03, 2009
S.S. asks from Orem, UT
29 answers

You gals have helped me in the past and I have some more concerns. My little girl will be 4 months old on Thursday. My problem this time is now she acts like she doesn't want to latch on anymore to nurse. She's been latching and feeding really good up to this point. Lately, though, I'll get it in her mouth and she'll drink for a few seconds, then she pushes and fights like she's trying to get away and she won't take it! I try to adjust her better and she'll take it again for like 2 seconds and then fight again, she just pushes and kicks her legs and she won't take it. I will eventually go make her a bottle and she'll take that sometimes, but then again, sometimes she fights with that too, I just don't understand! I do pump and store some milk but sometimes I feel like I don't have enough come in, so I'll make her a formula bottle. Does anyone have any ideas what's going on? I don't know if she's teething, people have told me to feel her gums and look at them but I don't see them swelled up or red so I don't know if she's teething. I just get frustrated that she won't drink from me anymore. Once in a while, she'll do great and latch on and drink wonderfully and other times it's just a fight. Thank you so much for your help!

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J.J.

answers from Pocatello on

With all the colds going around is it possible she has a stuffy nose? That will definantly make her fight if she can't breath while eating. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Provo on

There is a chance she has reflux or "silent reflux." Is she spitting up a lot? The fact that she eats for a minute, then pushes away makes me think she might be in pain. And just like adults, we don't have the same amount of pain all the time. So sometimes she might be feeling a little better so she'll take a bottle. My son was/is allergic to dairy so whenever I had any dairy, it came through my milk and gave him so much pain. Other times he ate and seemed okay but spit up SO much. You may ask your doctor about some of these concerns.

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C.P.

answers from Denver on

There are a few things that could be happening to cause this. One could be the taste of the milk. Have you been eating anything different lately? Sometimes a change in your hormones could also cause the taste to change. She could be responding to these things.

She could also be getting a tooth in. A new tooth would really hurt, especially if she's still trying to nurse.

She could be getting a cold, or getting sick. This can stuff her up, and make it hard to breathe and nurse.

If she continues, and you notice your milk is decreasing (you might need to pump to keep it up), I'd call a lactation consultant either at the hospital you delivered in, or through Le Leche League.

Hope that helps some.

Chrissy

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A.B.

answers from Bellingham on

it's possible that she is just not hungry. A 4 month old should be able to go a bit longer between meals. It's easy, especially with your first, to think that every cry is a cry of hunger but it is possible that all she wanted was some snuggle time, or a change in scenery. Try tracking when she's last eaten (time started, and duration) on a piece of paper starting when she goes to bed at night, all they way through the following day. Let her go through her repertoire of hunger cues before you offer the breast (most babies purse their lips right before they cry..some do it several times when they are hungry, others may just begin rooting) if it has been less than 2 hours since her last feeding she is probably not hungry. Track her meals and duration of nursing to find out what she is doing. A baby's "schedule" changes a bunch from month to month. Tracking will help you feel more confident that you are doing the right thing at the right time based on what she dictated the day before. While you are at it, you may as well track when she sleeps and for how long. If you know what kind of schedule keeps her happy it will be easier for you to plan your days AND you may even be able to leave her with a babysitter who will then know exactly what to do and when so that you can reconnect with your guy. If you are sure she is hungry but she just wont nurse try making sure there are no distractions in the room, no TV on, turn down the lights, etc. If that still doesn't work and you've decided giving her formula or expressed breast milk via bottle, make sure you wait 15 to 20 minutes before offering the bottle. This will prevent an association between refusal of the breast means she gets a bottle. It's a lot harder, takes more energy to nurse so many babies prefer the bottle because milk then just spills into their mouth. While you are tracking feedings...I would recommend exclusively breast feeding until a regular schedule materializes.

Books that really helped me when my first was born are "On Becoming Babywise," " The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer," by Tracy Hogg, and "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. Not all the techniques discussed in these books worked for my first but I mixed and matched certain techniques that did work from these different books and it really helped me a TON in feeling a more confident mom. I noticed while tracking my daughters schedules that she was almost right on with the schedules listed in Tracy Hogg"s book with only minor adjustments that made her, and I, much happier.

Good luck! Mommy-hood is absolutely wonderful but no one gets the hang of it perfectly, right away and then it seems the second we do, our little one changes the rules!

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Have you thought of the fact that she is giving up nursing because you give her a bottle? I know you said she fights that too sometimes but that might be do to the fact that she is just already too worked up from trying to nurse. I used to work in a daycare when I was young and I saw this happen time and time again. If your trying to nurse you shouldn't do formula too. Just nurse. Giving you baby bottles with formula can really mess that up. babies have to work a lot harder to get milk out when they nurse so if you give her bottles she will get used to the easy milk flow and no longer want to nurse. Also why do you think you don't make much milk? Some woman feel that way even though it isn't true. By month 4 you should be regulated enough that your don't get super full of milk. Also if you think you don't make enough because she wants to eat still every 2 hours or sometimes even more often thats totally normal. You just nurse on demand. So if she doesn't have reflux I would stop giving her bottles of formula and she will probably do better. I do know some babies who can do both (nurse and bottle) and don't have a problem but you might have a baby that does get messed up by it.

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M.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I've read the other responses and would suggest the same things. One other thing it could be though is an ear infection. My little girl did the same thing your daughter's doing and I finally called the dr and took her in and she had an ear infection so you might want to talk to her dr about it.

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B.H.

answers from Pueblo on

I haven't read the other responses so I apologize if I am just repeating what someone else has suggested. You might try burping her when this happens. I never had this problem myself, but my nephew acted in a very similar way and burping him (even though sometimes he was fussing during the burping time b/c he was hungry) most always did the trick.

I would also like to suggest a really good breastfeeding book to you. It is called The Breastfeeding Book and it is written by Dr. Sears. This book was extremely informative and helpful to me and I have loaned the book to several friends who have also praised it.

Good luck and PLEASE don't give up.

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K.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Thrush or strep? Something with a sore throat? All the other responses are GREAT!!! Just adding a little more to think about :)

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S.F.

answers from Great Falls on

You are not alone, my daughter (2nd child) does the same thing, even now and she is about to be 8 months old. I find that if she is tired, overstimulated, distracted or teething she will pull away like this even if she is starving. Just last week she kept refusing to nurse for about an hour and I offered a bottle of formula, which she chugged right down. Sometimes they just get impatient when the milk doesn't let down fast enough. You just have to be patient and try again after a few minutes. It was really hard for me at first because my oldest never did this, but my little one just has different priorities. Good luck.

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P.F.

answers from Provo on

At about four months old, a baby begins to be able to go longer between feedings. She will be drinking the same amount--likely even more because she is so good at nursing by now--but she will only need 4-5 nursings a day. Offer her your breast every 3 1/2 to four hours and you will see an immediate improvement. She's pushing you away because she simply isn't hungry yet.
This is part of her development into a normal person who eats well, then goes 3-4 hours without eating.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

If you don't have enough milk, that can frustrate her, but she would probably take a bottle more willingly. The other thought I had is reflux. Around 4 months babies don't have to swallow what they take in anymore, and they start to protect their airway. If she has reflux, it can hurt to swallow making her susceptible to milk getting into her airway. I've had two kids start having eating issues around 4 months. You might talk to her doctor and see if you can try something like Zantac. It has to be prescribed very accurately for weight in order to be effective. Another option is to see a lactation consultant or a feeding therapist and see if they can see what's going on. If she has a lot of milk spilling and makes a mess, my bet would be reflux as she's taking it in, but not swallowing. That's what my son did. Basically drank and spit out. I'd try some stuff to increase milk supply before worrying too much and see if that helps. Congratulations on that little sweetie.

D.M.

answers from Denver on

Hi. Sounds to me like she is frustrated with the flow. Now that you have introduced formula she has even more ideas in her heads to prtest "for" them to come to her. It could be distraction also. I am a lactation educator and post pTum newborn specialist. Without seeing you I am truly just guessing. It could be the taste. I would hVe to ask how ok g it's been going on, environment feedingin, if sleepy when feeding etc. NO it is NOT teething. Feel free to call me or set something up depending on your needs. D. M. 303/979-5263
P.S. She could have thrush on the insde of her cheeks. You can tell if the white milky scrapes off tongue and cheeks. It's easy to treat and render also.

Keep a log tho' so it can more easily figured out. When, after nap or before. Your diet. Water drinking increases milk supply. She may even like the flow of let down and not happy with slower flow. There are several things you can do to increase milk supply. If that's not it, look at cold virus giving her a sore throat or thrush. Are you making her burp? At 4 months they try to not burp, don't let her dictate that, always get burps out. Before eating too. Again, she is at the perfect age of distraction being an issue, too.

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E.S.

answers from Denver on

I would consult a lactation specialist, just to be sure there isn't something else going on. But I seem to remember that babies this age are starting to notice more around them and are more distracted and don't want to settle down to nurse. My daughter did this at around 5 months. I just kept trying and eventually our old routine came back. Also, you might try giving your daughter an interesting toy, or wearing a bright necklace to keep her attention while she is nursing.

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J.W.

answers from Pueblo on

My first thought was teething, second was she's not hungry. Did she just have a growth spurt? My kids tend to eat like wolves during spurts, then slow WAY down for several days when they're done. Try your local La Leche League - a trained leader can try to help you troubleshoot.

www.llli.org

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

It may be that she is teeting or it may be that she is congested and can not breathe and nurse at the same time. Try using saline and a bulb syringe if you think she is congested. I would be sparing with bottles until you can resolve the problem, maybe a lactation consultant can help.

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R.S.

answers from Denver on

It could be reflux (heart burn). Does she arch her back and or act uncomfortable after or during feedings?

No matter what the cause burping more frequently is great advice and trying Mylecon drops (target brand are much cheaper) wouldn't hurt, at all! Also congestion could be a culprit....allergy season is coming and colds are everywhere. Try using saline drops a few minutes before nursing and bed times. Also use a cool mist humidifier at night.

Most importantly if you are stressed in any way the baby will be stressed...Even if you were not nursing this would be the case, so relax when she does it and turn on soft music, turn the lights down, burp her, and wait till she ask for more to try again.

Watch what you are eating as well. My son's reflux didn't really surge into it's full state until he was around 4 months. Oh, FYI baby's can have silent reflux (no vomiting), this is what I am referring to.

Hang in there!

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M.H.

answers from Denver on

I would see a lactation consultant and/or call and see your doctor to see what is going on. It sounds really tough! Hang in there.

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B.J.

answers from Provo on

I remember my baby starting to do this around 4 months, and it was because he was getting distracted. He would only eat if we were in a quiet, familiar room with no other people around. Even if my cell phone rang in the other room, he would pull off. Or bite me--ouch.

Now he is 9 months old, and we are having the same problem again, only for a different reason. He got sick and didn't feel like eating, so my milk supply decreased, which started a downward spiral because then he got frustrated by the lack of milk and didn't want to try anymore. I have had to pump extra, and I am taking fenugreek to increase my supply. I am also feeding him twice during the night, even though he had started sleeping through the night. All this to keep his weight up and keep my milk supply up. Anyway, I'm not sure if any of this helps; I'm just sort of commiserating with you, because I know how frustrating it is when your baby won't nurse. Hang in there; nursing strikes are temporary.

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C.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hello! I agree with all of the posts - rule out everything else. But my son (7-months-old) does have reflux and this is exactly what he used to do before we got him on Prevacid. He has what is called "silent reflux" which doesn't involve vomiting/spitting up. In fact, he rarely spits up...just has an acidic tummy that makes him not want to eat. We decided to do a trial run of Prevacid to see if it helped and it absolutely did. It took about a month of being on the medication, however, before we noticed a difference. Hang in there, I know how frustrating it is when, as a mama, you feel like you can't nourish your child!

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L.H.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I know from experience, that when you're in the middle of it, it seems like a huge deal and that everything is going wrong! It's just a phase, keep at it, if she's thirsty and hungry, she knows what to do. Try it many times a day and don't push it, just offer it. call LLL if you have more questions. If you have been nursing this whole time, she's getting enough. Keep at it...it's the best gift you can give your baby and your relationship with her!

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D.W.

answers from Boise on

Is she crying to tell you she's hungry? Maybe wait for her to be more hungry? Try pumping for a few minutes before you nurse. How long does it take you to pump 4 oz. The more you nurse, the more milk your body makes, so I would do whatever you can to not offer her the bottle during this time. I would definitely go to a lactation specialist and your doctor like everyone has suggested sofar.

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

Lots of good advice here, make sure there isn't something in your diet that is disgusting her.

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My baby was easily distracted at 4 months. She also had a hard time calming down enough to nurse. If she wouldn't nurse, I'd dim the lights, mute the sounds (or put on soft classical music), and just rock her...hold her close - tummy to tummy or in my arms. I'd take deep breaths and just feel lots of love towards her. Sometimes I'd hum softly and tell her everything was OK. After she calmed down, I'd try to nurse again.

It usually worked in 1-2 tries. If not, I'd put her down and wait for her to want me to pick her up. usually about 20-35 minutes.

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G.P.

answers from Boise on

Contacting a lactation consultant never hurts, but I would agree that it is most likely teething, or distraction. If you stick your finger in her mouth does she bite down? If so, that is most likely teething. My son was REALLY distracted about that time(and many others!). He would even kick and scream some times. What I did was go to a quite room without distractions, turn down the lights if necessary, maybe some music and get a nursing necklace. These are necklaces that have a safety latch, and objects that babies like to look at and grab while they are nursing. This did help quite a bit. If she still won't eat, pump, and wait until the next meal. She may be ready to spread out her meals more or drop one completely. Just don't stress. She will pick up on this and it will be harder - I know! Just take a deep breath and keep her in your arms. Just hold her for awhile, she may decide she wants a bit more after.

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A.F.

answers from Provo on

This doesn't sound like the problem but my three month old pulls away if he has a bubble or if he is waiting or trying to get my milk to come in. You might could try burbing her before you nurse. Good Luck don't give up. I agree with the thrush and reflux too.

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

It also could be thrush - which makes it painful to drink/swallow - which could explain why she fights both breast and bottle. Check her mouth, including tongue for any white spots as well as her bum for small red blisters. If it is thrush you'll need to see the pediatrician for medication, but I also highly recommend that you alter your diet and cut out sugar and most carbohydrates for a month. Keep nursing, though and good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Provo on

Mt daughter has been doing this lately too. She's two months old. Sometimes she does it and cries like she is in pain and other times it seems for other reasons. Heres' what I have noticed. Sometimes if I burp her it seems to help. When my mom watches her and feeds her with a bottle (pumped) she says she has to burp her every ounce. I've also noticed that when she is overtired she has a hard time eating or if she doesn't want to go to sleep she fights. Just try to be patient and keep offering. Sometimes she just wants to play a little and smile and then I offer it to her a few minutes later. I have been trying to figure out why she does fight me too, especially when sometimes she seems really hungry. I asked her doctor about it and she said it could be air bubbles or her ears could be bothering her, but we did check for an infection. She said to try and notice if it was on one side more than the other and that she could have some negative pressure there. We also are trying to figure out whether or not she has reflux. We did discover she has some type of milk intolerance or allergy and so I have been off of milk products and she seems to fight me less but it still happens sometimes. Good luck I know its frustrating. But also if she is not losing weight don't stress out over it. She might just really not be very hungry.

E.B.

answers from Fort Collins on

My little girl did this as well when she was about 4 months... turns out her nose was plugged and she could not breathe while she ate and that frustrated her. I made it a habit to clean her nose (which she hated) before I fed and she did alot better. I would also agree that you should stop offering a bottle until she is latching and nursing without an issues. My little girl got frustrated with nursing after she had a a bottle.

Good Luck

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

My older daughter did the exact same thing around the same age. I went to a great lactation consultant and she helped rule out a lot of possible issues. My daughter then developed other symptoms that led us to a pediatric gastroenterologist. It turned out that she had a milk protein intolerance. I cut dairy out of my diet and she did better but still had symptoms. She had other allergies as well and was a totally different/happy baby once we started her on a hypoallergenic formula.

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