Ready to Wean, but How?

I never breast feed, but i have been through the fire thing!!! We lost our house almost four years ago. My son was eight months old. We lived with my mother for two weeks all in the same bedroom, except mom. My boy is 4 now and i still have problems with him sleeping in his own room. Instead he sleeps on the couch which is right next to our room. Before we rebuild we were living in a one bedroom house and he had to sleep in the living room. I do think you should start conditioning her now to the move. Like taking her to the new home(if it is safe). Tell her that she going to have a new room filled with nothing but her stuff. I'm still trying to get my son out of our bed too. He sneaks in in the middle of the night. I know your worries about the safety of her. Every time I leave the house I am worried in the back of my mind that i am going to come home to see 12 fire trucks on my road putting out the fire of my house. We weren't home when it sarted. Any time you need to talk about your fire i'm here. THis is one thing that you'll never get over and no one will understand unless they have been through it too.

J.,

Jean is right on the money. I self weaned by babies; my oldest weaned at 14 months (led by a horribly unfortunate chain of events), My second actually still nurses on occasion at 3 1/2 yrs old, but essentially weaned herself between 15 months and 2 years and my youngest is now 15 months, and doesn't ask as frequently as he used to at 12 months.

Letting her lead the charge might help with eliminating the night time feedings without trauma. If she doesn't ask to nurse, don't offer it during the day. But, when she does ask, it would be best at first to offer it, but then slowly, work on cuddle time with a sippy of water, or whole milk instead. I prefer Raw milk, but water is good too (the only other option in or house).

For naps, driving might get tedious, so perhaps start stretching out the nursings ... feed her 15 minutes before, then 30 then move closer to an hour, and as you get further out, you can again, offer her the sippy and cuddle time. You might find she will start to be able to put herself down better once you begin to disassociate the nursing from the napping.

Jean's idea of having her help to pick out things for her room/your room might help to keep her emotions with the move more in control. Remember, that most children feed off of the emotions radiated around them. If you're not anxious about the move, she most likely will not be as well. As for possibly regressing with the nursing, yes that is entirely possible. In turn, if you've managed to eliminate most if not all daytime feedings, you can rely on the cuddle time with a sippy.

Best of luck to both of you. Weaning is a unique process for each parent and child. You will find what works best for the two of you, no doubt.

Blessings,
Rolinda
Wife, Mother, Friend

Hi J.,

I am a nursing mom too. I have nursed all six of my kids. And found not every weaning experience to be the same. I think the first thing you need to know is the nighttime feedings are the toughest and last to go. For me, once my kids hit 1 year mark, it became more of a comfort/security issue rather than nursing for nutrients. It was as if I was their pacificer. How I weaned my kids was I gradually cut down. I would cut down on the number of feedings...but eliminating one for a while then do another one. What I found helpful is, I would limit the time at the breast. I would set a time the first time I wanted to start weaning...for example 15 mins. Once I hit that time, I would take my child off the breast. If they wanted more, I would simply put my hand over my chest so they couldn't nurse any longer. Once that was mastered I then would decrease the time at the breast until the feeding was gone. What also helped was if they were pretty insistent...which they can be, I would offer a cup. It may be a little rough in the beginning as they are learning...but hang in there. It will click for her! :o) As far as her regressing, I think that if she's completely weaned by the time you move, you would have a better chance of her not regressing. Remember to start slow weaning. I found that by going slow and gradually decreasing worked really well for me and my kids. I hope that helps! Feel free to email me for any more questions or support.

I weaned my son at 19 months old. Night time was the hardest time. I spent four nights rocking him back to sleep trying to comfort him without nursing him (though the first night night I caved). I offered a sippy cup of water (by then we were done with bottles)instead of nursing and eventually he got used to the idea.
Just stay strong when the tears come-who knows maybe she's ready and it won't even faze her

As far as moving-what I would do is right before you move back to the house explain to her what is going to happen. Let her help you pick out her new bedding or where her toys go. I find that if I let me kids help me or give them a choice then I have no problems

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I too would not drive her for naps. You will find you will always have to do that, and they say that moving sleep is not as good as stationary sleep. I have a 14 month old who is still nursing at times but I try to give him a sippy cup of whole milk before I nurse him. He will drink some then push it away and point to me eventually but it is the beginning of making the switch. My mom has suggested establishing a nap/bedtime story time where you read very monotone and claims it works, my son gets too excited about books so it won't work for us but maybe you could try that. Good luck!

I cosleep so it's nothing to worry about. I'm in the process of weaning my daughter as well. My child is older though. If you can, let your husband get your daughter to sleep and deal with her bedtime needs. I know that's not always possible. Be prepare she will cry most likely. Some kids have a easier time weaning than others. It just depends on your child's personality. If she asks to nurse or show signs of wanting to nurse, try to give her something else. Some parents use stuff animals as a substitute comfort. I ask my daughter if she would like me to hold her like a baby and that usually works. Then I rock her until she falls asleep. It doesn't always works so we try different things. My husband will sometimes dance her to sleep (something we haven't done since she was a tiny baby). The beginning was the most difficult but now it seems like she has a easier time with falling asleep without nursing. Sometimes they do regress with change, just try to be patient. It seems like you have a pretty good handle on it. I can't believe someone actually told you you did anything wrong. Even in a crib, parents have to go through the same thing with weaning. There are so many different ways to raise children, no one holds the market on being the "right" way. So keep at it, it seems to me like you are a wonderful mom.

I've always read weaning slowly is less traumatic for some kids. Again it probably just depends on your child's personality.

Good luck,
Y.

Both of my children self-weaned.My kids are 18 months apart so i was breastfeeding both of them for a period there. And they both weaned about the same time. My daughter was breastfed until she was 2 and 1/2 or around there and my son stopped breastfeeding at 9 months. I was more than ready to wean my daughter but wasn't ready for my son to wean himself. He just stopped taking it and if i tried he would bite. After trying on and off again for a couple fo weeks. I got the picture.

On thing I would not do is drive her around until she falls alseep. You will be setting yourself up for a no win situation. Unless you plan on doing this for a very long time. I would suggest when lying her down snuggle close with her and if she wants to breastfeed just tell her that that we arent going to do that right now. Please be prepared for her to scream and fight it. I would suggest trying to cut out naptime first and once that routine is set try bedtime. She will protest very much.

my son just turned one and i just weaned him. i started weaning him by just nursing at night. then we started a nighttime routine by giving him a bath giving him a drinkable yogurt(with a straw) and reading him a story and then putting him to bed. i am still leaking and he still wants it but since he only nursed once a day it wasn't too bad. the first three days are the worst. my husband had to comfort him because he wanted to nurse. the worst part was he was getting his molars when we stopped. he was so whiny. good luck. i hope this helped. p.s. buy the yo baby yogurts and add whole milk. it's cheaper and i don't think you can use normal yogurts because they are low fat but i am not positive on that..... T.

It sounds like she is doing a great job feeding herself! Good for you. As for nights and nap, I made the transition to a sippy cup with water when my daughter was 11 1/2 months old at nap and at bedtime. It was difficult, but at that point she was only comfort nursing anyway. Our bedtime routine stretched out to about 45 minutes for a week or so until she was able to comfort herself without nursing. Since you co-sleep, you may want to tell her that "boob" is sleeping, and offer a cup of water instead. It won't be easy at first, but hang in there. I hope this idea works well for you. I also hope it works well for me when I need to wean my son!

I was wondering the same thing! My daughter turns 1 on Thursday and I'm in the same predicament. Ahh! Looking forward to reading the responses to your question. =)

I breastfed all three of my children and they all basically weaned themselves. My two older children (one of them being 18 now) were pretty much weaned by eighteen months. My youngest (she's seven now) by the time she was two. Your daughter will let you know when it's time. Bedtimes were hardest for my daughter also. Try expressing some breastmilk in a sippy cup or bottle and giving it to her that way during nap and bedtimes. I hope this helps.

We struggled with this problem everytime. I am not looking forward to it the third time! SO I can sympathize. But what worked best for us was still allowing the boys to sleep in bed with us ... just talking to them and cuddling ... no nursing. It was really hard at first .. but it helped they could still be in bed with us. And if it's any comfort it seems to get a little easier each time ... Our oldest was 5 before he got out of our bed ... but our middle son was out by the time he was 2! I have hopes of my own bed again by this time next year ... Good luck. And don't worry about the stigma of nursing too long or co sleeping ... it's not right for everyone, but if it works for you so be it. We are the only ones of our friends and family who did it and our kids turned out fine.

Hi J.,

i'll be honest with you. i have no business giving you advice on this topic, because i'm in a simular situation. i thought i'd just pass on some knowledge that was passed on to me. a man knows from the beginning if he wants a relationship with a woman or not. if he does, he's going to make the moves to do so. he's going to make the time. he's going to be a man on a mission. it shouldn't take that much convincing or reassurance for someone to be intested in you. either they are or they aren't. unfortunately, i think he's interested in only one thing and thinks that he has to do and say those other things to keep you around or keep you only sleeping with him and no one else. it's up to you whether you can put your feelings aside and keep things the way they are. you are the one in charge. don't keep telling yourself that if you do this or that, he'll come around and have a relationship with you, because there's a good chance that's not going to happen. it's been over three years in my situation and still nothing. i tried everything to try and make him "realize" how he feels about me and not be "scared". he has given me every mixed signal you could imagine. i have finally given up and told him so. unfortunately, he has my heart too and i'm not willing to give him up yet. we are still more than friends and go out together, but it's on my terms now, which makes me feel better. hopefully, i'll eventually be able to let him go. but that's my choice not yours. you make your choice and tell him that that's how it's going to go.

if you ever need a ear that understands, let me know! i'm here for you.