Ready to End Cosleeping Arrangement

Updated on August 18, 2011
L.C. asks from Alhambra, CA
7 answers

I have been cosleeping with my child for too long. Anyone out there have any good tips on how to move out of the room and start a new arrangement?

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E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Bah! Co-sleeping isn't a bad habit. It can be wonderful!

Here is what we did w/ our first: right around her 2nd bday I decided it was time to move her out of our bed. She was driving me nuts w/ her habit of rubbing her feet on my legs.
So I got the crib mattress out of the unused crib and plopped it on the floor next to our bed.
I put some soft king sized pillows (2) on it and then a twin sized fitted sheet. This made it feel less like a slab of cement and more like our bed.
A friend of mine unknowingly sent us a godsend birthday present-a glowing bear. She loved it.
I gave her my own childhood blanket and told her it was "mommy's love".

I know you are thinking-this child was on the floor next to you...but it was a big transition for her.

Anyhow...she did fuss and she did try and get back in our bed for a while, but she did learn to stay there.

She stayed in our room until the birth of her brother. Mostly because we don't live in a great neighborhood and we were not comfortable w/ her in her room (still don't love it-but she is older now).

I recommend baby steps. And of course you can go through those baby steps at your own pace.

Don't feel bad for co-sleeping! :)

HTH! Pm me if you need to discuss further. :)

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I happily (and safely) co-slept with both of my babies. And I'm glad you did too! When it's time, it's time, though!

With the first one, we made the choice because she had a bad habit of kicking us in the ribs. I put her daddy's shirt on her pillow (actually, we used the Boppy) in her crib. The crib was right next to our bed. She did a great job from night one. A couple months later, we moved her into her own room (w/o the Boppy) and she did great again.

The younger one was ready on her own, at just a few weeks old no less, and so we just started putting her into the bassinet instead of our room.

Basically I'm saying read your baby's signals. Is the co-sleeping about the comfort, that something smelling like you could do it, or the companionship, which might be a little trickier, or just habit? Whatever you decide, trust that you're doing what's best for all of you. It may take a couple of weeks but don't do half-steps. That just confuses the issue.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

The best advice I got when I was preg was to never rock your baby to sleep and to always put them in their own crib/bed so they learn how to put themselves to sleep. I followed that advice and have always had great sleepers. I've never had to deal with this and I've heard its very difficult. I hope you get some good advice. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

E.F.

answers from Provo on

Just because it is a habit doesn't make it bad:)
But now that you are ready for something different here is what I suggest. Nap times are the best way to introduce different sleeping arrangements. If your baby is still young enough for a crib, you could start with having her/ him sleep in a portable crib right next to your bed. Do the same routine that you would normally do, but lay her/ him in the porta crib. If you think he/ she could handle it, you could try to just go strait to the room for naps. then once in the childs room and sleep well for naps, then start doing it for night time too.
If your child is a toddler and can sleep in a toddler bed, I would bring just the mattress in your room and have them sleep on that for nap time. And really boast about sleeping in a big bed and all the things that big kids get to do. once they are use to that then try it for night time, and then move the mattress to the childs room. It will probably take you a few weeks to a month or so, to get it all switched around.
Also if your child is old enough to explain and negotiate with (3 or 4) you can do a reward system. That seams to work well around that age.
The most important part is that you decide your plan of attack and think out different situations and what you will do. That way you will be less likely to just give in and bring your child back to bed with you. And I like MrsLolas advice, something that smells like you would probably help too:)
Good luck!
E.

3 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Tampa on

I have had a wonderful almost 6 year long bed sharing arrangement with my 1st born. It's been great. I don't have to worry about if I hear her crying in another room, getting up to see how she's doing, walking her back and forth to her bed... she's been safe, comfortable and happy sleeping with us in our room. Only reason she's been transitioning to her own bed (still in our room) is because baby #2 is here and our bed can only hold 3.

Bed-sharing is such a bonding and loving situation... you don't have to worry about child being afraid all alone in their room, scared of dreams/weird noises/darkness/being isolated. Also, Goddess forbid, there is a fire, break in intruder, disaster, etc - you won't have to rush out or worry about your child is a far bedroom from you to protect.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi L., Bad habits are hard to break, you didn't mention how old your child is. Sometimes you just have to do it. Sleeping with you your child has not learned any night time independance, that is something they gain/learn from birth on. I always had my newborns in the bassinet right next to my bed, but in the 80's we were told to NEVER put our babys in bed with us. The percetange a infant deaths due to co sleeping has rised in the last year or so. MzKitty said never rock your baby to sleep how sad, I rocked all 3 of mine to sleep everynight some of my most treasured memories, I never could see putting a awake baby down, and all 3 of my bab ys were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, with no sleep issues at all. What creates good sleepers is babys fallibng asleep feeling loved and safe rocking them and singing them to sleep was a strong warm nurtering way ro fall asleep. J.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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