Ready for #2??? - Reedsburg,WI

Updated on November 24, 2009
C.B. asks from Reedsburg, WI
14 answers

My little girl is going on 18 months old,and my husband and I have been starting to talk about trying for #2. I have been really anxious to have another baby and really want to start trying, but at the same time am pretty scared about it. How do we know we're ready??? I know that we're the only ones that can make that decision, but for those of you who have been down this road, what are some things we should be thinking about before we take the plunge? Is the second easier or harder than the first? If we were to get pregnant right away, my first will be just over 2 years old - is this a bad time for a second baby to come along?

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't know if there is ever a "Right time". And even if you try to plan it out - it doesn't always work out as planned. I always knew that I wanted 2 children and that was it. So for me - I knew that once I was pregnant with my second - this was it for me. I really tried to cherish it (even the morning sickness - yuck). I thought it was easier - I felt I had more experience and wasn't so worried about every little ache and pain. When he was born - it was difficult. The first 6 weeks were very exhausting and it was hard to juggle and transition into being a mommy of two. But my daughter was almost 4. She was a big help and I love the age difference. I had much more confidence in myself as a parent also - so that made it easier and more enjoyable. Now that she is 7 and he is 3 - they do play together some - but not as much as two younger siblings might.

It is scary, but you are a great mom and you will do fine no matter what you decide. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

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3 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

We just had baby #2 3 months ago. He was born about a month after our daughter turned 2. When I first got pregnant with our son I didn't feel ready (it happened much sooner than I thought it would) and even through out the pregnancy at times I wondered if we had made the right move. Now, I wouldn't change anything for the world! I was a little nervous about how our daughter would accept the new baby because she is a spoiled little princess! ;) But she has done great. Like someone else said, #2 is maybe a little harder at first. I am a lot more tired now because I can't always nap when the baby does because the two kids don't always coordinate their nap times. And it does take a little while to learn a routine. But, once we got that figured out, I actually think our 2nd was easier than our 1st. I like the age difference between our two kids. Our daughter is old enough that she can entertain herself for a little while if I need to do something with the baby and she is starting to be more independent in things. There have been some challenges with her. She did take a few steps backward as far as sleeping in her "big girl" bed all night, and potty training hasn't gone the smoothest at home because I can't always drop everything to take her to the potty. She has had some times when she gets really sad because she wants to be the center of attention. I have learned that sometimes it is Ok for the baby to sit in the swing and maybe cry for a little while so big sister can get the cuddles and loves that she needs too. Ultimately you have to make the decision if it's the right time for you to have #2, but I'm really glad that our kids are 2 years apart.

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

We have boys, and that makes a big difference sometimes, but I have said, with both my boys, life got harder until about 22-28 months. And, at that point, they could understand enough to listen when disciplined, be disciplined without a huge fight, and do a few things for themselves. Right now, our youngest is 26 months, and he's a horrible handful right now. I'm hoping it will pass soon, because we'd like to have #3 soon! But, that's my experience; obviously, people have children spaced much closer together. Also, I like the idea of really savoring my children's babyhood--it goes so fast, I don't want to have 2 or 3 "babies" in my house at once, so about three years has been good spacing for us.

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

We started trying for #2 when our first DD was 15 months and it took us almost a year to conceive...and we thought it was a blessing in the end that it took so long. Our first DD was potty trained and much more independent when her sister came along when she was just shy of age 3. Going from 1 to 2 was an extremely hard transition cause you need to get used to sharing your time and juggling different tasks. When our second DD was 15 months we got pg w/ #3 so there are exactly 2 yrs in between her and our son. There is a big difference and it's harder! DD2 wasn't potty trained yet so I had 2 in diapers, DD was still a "baby" and required lots of attention, more jealousy issues, etc. So, IMO a 2.5-3 yr age gap is ideal. GL in making your decision!

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L.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My kids are 9 days shy of being exactly 2 years apart - DD was actually due the day before DS's 2nd b-day! Anyways, we thought that age gap was perfect. It's always tough with a little baby, whether or not there is an older sibling! It's just a different set of challenges. DS wasn't potty trained until DD was 6 months old, and I didn't mind having 2 in diapers and it wasn't difficult to train him with a baby around. They are now almost 2 & 4 and they love each other dearly and play together a lot (they don't go to daycare, so they are truely best friends!) and, yes, they fight! but it's normal! My DD has not been any easier or harder than my DS - but she has grown up faster! DS didn't walk til 15 months, but DD was walking at 9 months because she wanted to keep up with her brother!

Good Luck with your decision!

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J.T.

answers from Milwaukee on

For me, going from 1 to 2 was difficult although now I am super happy b/c they are starting to play together. One is 3 and the other is 1. I had mixed feelings when I became pregnant with my second b/c I felt the first child was still too little. However, as mentioned, now it's great but be prepared since it's hard at first. Good luck!

K.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

hi unless you want 2 kids in diapers i would wait till your first is potty trained i would start trying when your daughter is 2 and a half

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J.L.

answers from Davenport on

My 1st 2 are 28 months apart, followed by #3 21 months later. #2 is more difficult because you have to figure out how to organize your time. Once you get onto a routine, things start to fall into place. Just make time to play individually with each one, and the oldest doesn't feel so slighted. Lots of positive reinforcement. "The Baby whisperer is a great book to help teach new baby haow to sleep through the night early. "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" is an awesome book to help you figure out how to view things to take a lot of the stress away from parenting (whether you have one child or 10). It has significantly helped my household. #3 will be easier than two, because you will have already made the transition to taking care of more than 1. Just remember, nothing worth doing is easy! And if you go for another, "Hypnobirthing, The Marie Mongan Method" is awesome! I was able to take a nap in the middle of labor. Woke up as I was hitting transition, and because I'd practiced the breathing, the contractions were so much easier to handle than with my first 2!

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C.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

You know you are the only ones that will truly know when you are ready. Just be sure that you get a good prenatal vitamin when you start trying(as you also probably knew already). I thought #2 was easier in many ways, my husband thought it was tougher. We had a hard time getting pregnant the second time, and I only share that to say- we can never really plan the spread between our kids. We thought our spread would be around 2 years and it ended up being more like 3. Good luck!

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T.R.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

My son is exactly 2 years and 2 months older than my daughter. My husband really wanted a second child. I was more on the fence. I loved my son sooo much that I couldn't imagine having to tell him no, I couldn't cuddle with him at that second because I needed to take care of the other child. I felt that I would be depriving him and that it wasn't fair to him. My husband told me that it wouldn't be that bad and it would be great for them to grow up closer in age and play with each other and look out for each other. I agreed and we got pregnant as soon as we started trying. I went back and forth the whole pregnancy. I tried to charish every moment with my son before my time would be divided. The first month was hard. I had to have a C-Section, so I couldn't even lift my son for 4 weeks after my daughter was born. There were some jealousy issues, but it didn't really last that long. She's almost 3 months now, and we have found a good routine and I stay home all day with my 2 kids and take care of them by myself. Some moments are harder than others. Sometimes she'll start crying and all of a sudden my son will want me to pick him up. So, I guess there is still a little jealousy. I pick her up and bring him to the couch and we all cuddle together. He is still in diapers and I think it's a little easier (although more expensive) that way. I don't have to worry about dropping everything to get him to the bathroom in time. We plan on starting him soon though. Now he loves his sister and is always kissing her and wanting to hug her. I'm so glad we had them closer in age! It's never the right time, you just have to go for it and it will all fall into place as time goes by.

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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I new after having my first that I wanted my kids to be closer together in age. Our first two 4 year old girl and 2 year old boy are 22.5 months apart in age and I love LOVE it, It was hard in the beginning but I think a lot of that was to do with some health issues with my son but now they get along so well. Besides for the bickering from time to time but no matter the age difference you will get that. Now our second and third children are going to be 3 years apart in age and I think it is going to work out well because our son will be old enough to enjoy helping a little but they will still be a good closeness in age.

We also have the practical thought of; the closer the kids are in age the faster I can get back into the workforce after being a Stay at home mom. LOL but for us being young that was a big factor in the matter.

So I personally love the age difference that you would have if you got pregnant right away. But it is by no means an easy first year, but it goes by fast.

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C.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My kids are 9 and 6 1/2. Having 2 - 2 1/2 years between kids is a nice spread of time because they are close enough in age that they can play together. It can be hard to decide to have another child. As much as I love my younger child, there are times when I wish we had stopped at one.

Trust me, you will learn to adjust and juggle your life with 2 as you did when your daughter was born. How will you know you're ready? Well, how did you know you were ready for your first? Or were you not ready? Either way, you've just answered your question.

Easier? Harder? Some things will be easier (the kids will play together, you already know how to be a mom); some things will be harder (expenses for 2 children, siblings will fight, more people who need your attention). What I've learned is that every child and every family is different, and that there are no apples to apples. You just have to deal with what you get.

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M.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Hi Cristin,

My first daughter was 19 months old when we got pregnant with our second. I think the first few weeks with a new baby are really hard whether it's your first or your fifth. It was definitely a tough transition for the first month and a half but around 6 weeks, I started to feel normal again. My second is three months now and we still have our challenging days but I feel completely comfortable and able to handle the two on my own (which I have to do frequently because of my husbands work schedule). My older daughter has had absolutely no jealousy issues and has been a GREAT helper. Also, she was not potty trained before the second one came along so I wouldn't let that scare you too much either. I didn't think it was that hard to have two in diapers...just my opinion. I think the close age difference will be fun for the girls as they grow up together. Like you said, only you can answer whether you are ready but rest easy knowing that two is completely doable. It's hard at first...just like having one was hard at first...but it gets better and then you can't remember what life was like with just one! Good luck!

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