Reading Profiles and past Questions

Updated on August 25, 2014
A.M. asks from Sterling Heights, MI
25 answers

Do you take the time to read the profile and past questions of moms before you respond to their questions? I'm not referring to simple questions like getting a stain out, but questions about family relationships, emotional problems, mental issues, serious discipline issues, etc. I will let your responses do the "preaching" to each other, because i suspect it would be against the "rules" if I state my opinion here (though I obviously have a strong one). I ask this because there have been a couple of moms who recently have been posting series of questions and most of the responding moms clearly have not read the previous questions.

And yes, FangedBunny, I know you read the profiles and previous questions! And yes, I know you are all going to now read my profile and previous questions :0)

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So What Happened?

Oh gosh, NO. I don't have a beef with FangedBunny! How awful. I had no idea what I said was coming across that way. No. I too, like FangedBunny, see red flags and check previous questions written by some moms. i mentioned FangedBunny because lately she and I have both been noticing the same moms who have been pretty much asking the same question over and over again but with slight variations.

** I don't read their previous questions or profiles to blast them or be a smarty pants. I just think it helps give more background information when the mom's question is sending up red flags. Especially if it is a mom who seems a little off her rocker, I don't want to encourage her illusions ESPECIALLY when there is a child involved. THAT is why I go back and read past questions if I see red flags. I usually respond with, " i don't think the moms on Mamapedia can give you the kind of help you really need because there has to be so much more to your situation we don't know about" or something like that. Sometimes I try, as kindly as I can, to suggest the mom might seek counseling, but not in an "in your face" kind of way.

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answers from Chattanooga on

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

It depends on how much time or how bored I am at the moment, how jacked up the situation is, or if there is something that rings a bell about the person/situation.

I usually don't bother though.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Yes, sometimes I do depending on the question just to get some background info. By the way, I did not think you sounded rude or sounded like you did not like Fanged Bunny. I thought it sounded playful.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

not that often. I think I "know" a lot of the mom's on here since I've been here for like 5 or 6 years now. So maybe just once in a while I do

5 moms found this helpful

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answers from Miami on

ETA: Oh thank goodness! Fanged Bunny is wonderful! And definitely not one of those posters who has hissy fits when you remind her of something pertinent that she's already announced to the entire world, LOL! Glad that you showed your hand here, btw. It helps everyone reading your post!

Okay, I'll bite. (Fanged Bunny, that joke's for you, sweetie!) I don't know from what you've said here if you have a beef with Fanged Bunny, or if you are happy for her to read your profile and previous questions, but I have a feeling you have a beef with it. Sooooo....

... if you do, I really wonder why? If people put their lives on here for people to see, and they come here to ask questions for which the answers ONLY make sense when taking into consideration what has been said before, why wouldn't people want answers based on the totality of what's going on in their lives? It is unhelpful (at the very least), and ridiculous (the other end of the spectrum) for a poster to not want answers to reflect what's TRUE in their lives.

In my view and from what I've seen on here for years, the only people who don't like posters to remember what they've said about themselves in past posts and use that knowledge to answer questions are those who ONLY want people to agree with their rants OR decisions that they've already made, in spite of what is going on in their lives. A few posters on this site (not you, and I haven't looked back at your posts, LOL!) act like this ALL THE TIME. And they are both really ugly on here to people who bring up anything that they've said before, even when it's as clear as the nose on anyone's face that it makes NO sense to ignore their personal story they've written all over the site for everyone to see when answering subsequent questions. They are just ridiculous, honestly. The more they fight about it, the more they just seem to be unhinged. I wonder how they have any friends too, as ugly as they act. They should just stay off the site and not ask questions if they're going to get bent out of shape because people remember all the drama they've already talked about...

This site is full of people who have been here a long while and have shared a lot. I'll just bet that we know more about some people here than their family members do. It makes no sense to ignore what they have written. And most people actually want to give advice that makes sense.

Most of the time, I don't have to look back at peoples' posts because I remember who they are and what they've said about themselves. (Unless they've changed their name...) The ones who ask how dare we bring up what they have said before and act like beotches? Boy, I sure do remember them...

So, I don't know if you wanted this point of view or the opposite point view, but here you are!! Cheers!

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

Not automatically.

If the question seems fairly forthright, I will just answer the question with something I hope is helpful. Sometimes, it seems like a forthright question, but the poster doesn't like what you said, and then starts hemming and hawing and making excuses or correcting something that they weren't clear about... and that often will cause me to go back and see what the back story is, if there is one.
And sometimes, you can just tell that there is a lot more to the story that has been left out/ignored. With those, I might go back and see what has gone before, but I also might just skip responding altogether. There are times that the drama is more than I have the patience to sort through to figure out any sense of what is going on.
Often, I notice other people have picked up on the question relating to something they've said before, and that will prompt me to go back and see what the "rest of the story" is...

But as a rule of thumb, do I always go look up what the questions/comments of the poster have been in the past? No.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

I don't always check past questions but if something hits me as repetitive or off, I go ahead and check.
People with weird questions and have never asked before are commonly trolls.
People with many questions who's stories change a lot (different number of kids, etc) are commonly trolls.

I've been on here for years and I've never asked a question.
Honestly I don't see why I should when I can Google it as easily as the next person.
I've provided a whole lot of answers that I think are mostly well received.
Although I do occasionally blow up at trolls (sometimes I feel like tugging the tigers tail) - but that (and verbally abusing telemarketers) is cheaper than actually paying for therapy.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Any time a question seems odd or complicated I check the profile. The knee jerk of it is mostly this site is riddled with trolls so I want to know if it is a first question.

You can't help but see, ohhhh that chick, lord, guess she still hasn't got therapy. :(

Other times it is just the question is incomplete. Since no one seems to come back and answer questions, well they come back and yell at you for your questions or other responder does, still.... Much easier to just find the information in their profile.

I didn't real your profile because this is a rather straight forward question. Reading your profile might bias my response. This is also why I never read the other answers before I answer. I don't want to base an answer off of other observations.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

It depends on the question. I don't usually look at past questions unless I feel I am needing more info in order to be more helpful. I also will check out profile if I am suspecting a troll.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

Sometimes I wonder if people read the question, never mind what is in the past or the writers profile.

Most of the time, I don't read either one. IF I get curious enough, I might take a look at a profile to see if they are an older mom or a younger mom, if they have little children, or grandchildren.

I have looked at previous posts, but it is seldom. I usually sit here at night and unwind. If it doesn't sound like a realistic situation, I take a look to see if they are first time posters and if

**Okay, so I thought you were calling out Fanged Bunny too. I am glad to hear you like her.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

When something sounds way out of left field, yes, I read previous questions.

I also read ahead. I want to make sure I've understood the question or the post. I know there are people that don't read ahead, so their answers are not influenced by others answers.

I've noticed there are some paranoid people here.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I usually check if a question seems to be off target (like someone who doesn't know if they should be on the site) - if it's their first question ever, then I try to decide if it's a pure troll (which I report) or if it's someone just unclear (in which case I try to be kind and offer info). I don't always read all the questions but I quickly scan the titles to see what looks familiar and what I already responded to. I think it makes my responses more useful (I hope) and better articulated.

I have no patience for people who keep posting long rants and then go back on to rail at people who responded, saying the responder doesn't get them or is horrible (unless of course the responder WAS horrible). If the questioner clarifies something, that's fine.

I don't know why you are saying it's against the rules to post your strong opinion here. What's the point if you're not going to say what you think but just draw out everyone else with an implied criticism at the outset? Maybe I'm not reading you the way you intended but that's what it sounds like.

I think, if people put up questions here as well as a profile, it has to be assumed that people will read them, and that is the point.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

Unfortunately, now that school has started, I don't have as much time on the computer. I tend to take the questions at face value unless there is something in the replies that makes me want to look.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

If the question is emotional, highly charged, controversial, etc. yes I do a quick glance at who is asking it, and whether or not this is a new or ongoing problem. I want to help people (that's why I'm here!) but I really don't want to waste my time repeating my advice or being redundant.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

Well, since I just saw this: I really liked your last paragraph of your SWH. I don't always read past questions, esp of the post seems pretty ordinary (nothing provocative or leading me to believe there is more information missing, I suppose), but very often I will, esp if we've had a spate of trolls going. Sometimes, too, my memory for names isn't great, but I might get a sense that I need to familiarize myself with the poster just to do as you say-- to give good information.

And anytime someone asks questions of a more personal nature, I do check. You really never know who is using this for their research. I have a blog and will always openly state "I am considering writing on this" when asking a question for that purpose, whether I end up using it or not. I feel I owe it to this community, but don't expect that everyone will feel the same way.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. After all these years I'm not too bad at spotting the posts from repeat posters. While I don't remember every detail of strangers on the internet, I do remember enough that questions will make me go hummm..isn't that. If I see a couple comments that say hummmm...isn't that I will sometimes go look too.
There are some people on here that truly keep posting about the same thing, as if they did absolutely nothing the first time. They really aren't hard to spot. It's also not hard to spot the people that only want you to agree with them, and if you don't you're a meanie pants. It's also not hard to spot the obvious troll. I have the least amount of patience for those.
I don't have a lot of internet time every day. I don't spend my days going back and re-reading every post everyone does and looking at everyone's profile. I do try to find time to look at the ones that throw up flags for me for whatever reason, especially before possibly wasting time posting something that will fall on deaf ears. It only takes a minute at most.
I really like Doris Day's answer. That sums it up a lot.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

No, I don't look at people's profiles or past questions. I enjoy this forum, but quite often I'll see people responding to questions nastily by referring back to the OP's previous questions. It smacks of being a smarty-pants and 'I'm so clever'. Who has time to go back and compare previous posts?

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

I don't read them, I try to base my answers off the information presented, I don't want past questions that may or may not be related to color my responses.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I'm rather new here. Maybe 2years? Check my profile.
I do not check previous questions. But, there have been many, MANY times I have typed answer and thought better of it.
I HAVE been offended by answers to my own questions-but once I really read them they werent that offensive. If you check through my questions you will see one about a rude community worker. Guess what? My son is still struggling and recently his counselor told me my only other option is to declare him indigent and hand him over to the state. ANOTHER rude community worker!!! Obviously I'm not going to listen to her advise. But-due to previous responses. I won't be posting about this current face palm.
Aaahhh. I assume that the point of this site is about getting as many different (experienced) opinions as possible. So, I don't get offended about others checking previous questions (I'll send them flowers, though). But I don't do it myself.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I don't often read previous questions UNLESS I see something that is just "odd"
Sometimes I look at a profile if someone comes accross as really young or immature. If it's some pervy post I will look to see if they have ever asked a question.
So really? I rarely look at previous posts or profiles!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

rarely, but sometimes. i don't think one should have to and think it's fine that 'most of the responding moms clearly have not read the previous questions.' all that's required is to read what's right there.
but we're human, and often remember names or situations, and sometimes go back and refresh our memories.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I read previous questions posted. Especially if the person has posted the same question in the past or VERY close to it.

You are allowed to state your opinion. Some people won't like your opinion. That's their problem, not yours. Things have changed since the new company took over. Swearing was never allowed I see it frequently. Oh well.

I like Fanged Bunny!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Fe on

No, I don't have time to look at people's past posts. I'm kind of amazed when other people call people on things they said in the past, bc I have the worst memory! :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Williamsport on

Oh heck no I don't go back and research. I spend too much time on here as it is. I read the question thoroughly and try not to read things into it that aren't there. I'm always surprised to read other responses and see "In your other posts you said"...I'm like huh??! I would NOT expect someone to read up on my past questions and answers in order to "equip themselves" to answer my question properly, so I try to include all the information I can possibly include for that issue. Some people still read it wrong or make wild assumptions though :) But they do that to everyone...

1 mom found this helpful


answers from McAllen on

No. I answer all questions at face value. If I sense more that would require my research, I tend to skip to the next question. I have a pretty good handle on asking the exact question I want answered, and I assume that--for the sake of interacting with adults on this forum--others here are doing the same. I might add to my answer that there's more to the question at hand, but I won't dismiss it and try to convince someone that a different question was intended.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I barely have time to read the new questions and certainly don't have time to read profiles or previous questions posted.

I stick to what's new and presently posted.

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