RE: Is My Child/children Gifted

Updated on October 21, 2009
C.A. asks from Dallas, GA
12 answers

My question is could my twins be gifted? My mother mentioned to me last night that when she asked my girls how they liked school they responded back that they were bored. My mom being in the "medical" field said that is a common characteristic in gifted children. Okay so I know nana is a proud nana and so is mom of course-but then I thought well maybe so?
However, I question it so much so because I myself struggled so hard through school. I was held back in the first grade and school was always so difficult to me. Was it my teachers? Or was it just genetic? I know my mother struggled in school herself and she mentions all the time how her teachers would compare her to her brother whom seemed to never struggle and is/was very intelligent. Her own father my grandfather was a very intelligent man-he was able to invest his money and passed away with close to a million dollars to his name and he worked for the railroad for many many years-but he was a penny pincher too-but also gave away in donations and my mom would always go to him for investment advise because he made a lot from it-wish he were still here so I could ask for advise still :-(.
My sister is smart too and always did better than myself in school. My father is very smart but never went to college why I don't know because I think he would be awesome at it but he has very good common sense knowledge more than anything else. If something breaks - daddy can fix it-he will find a way. My husband's side of the family are very intelligent as well so it totally possible or because I feel like the dummy in the family it's impossible for my own two daughters to be gifted? I have a parent-teacher conference this Thursday but I am sort of embarrased to mention the fact that I "think" my kids could be gifted but I was going to tell their teachers that they claim to be bored-but was that just conversation? OR maybe they are bored because this isn't kindergarten anymore and their new teachers have a different approach to teaching that doesn't engage their attention as well. They are doing VERY well according to progress reports. I am at a loss here and I would be ever so proud if they were gifted and I don't want to make it seem like I am saying my children are doomed to fail or however this may come across because I do want my children to suceed and I do hope that they never ever have to struggle with academics as I did and ever made to feel as though they are the only ones that are "stupid". There are other characteristics that I read about that they seem to have such as memory-they don't forget NOTHING! They can tell me something that happened when they were 3. Imagination-boy do they ever which I think most kids do which makes this even harder to determine because are they just "normal" average kids or are they really truly gifted???? I know you can have them tested but it's quite expensive just wondered if any other mom's have experienced this and what they did about it....

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I went to both of my twins conferences yesterday and it went great-both are on honor roll and I am so proud that I could literally burst! I mentioned the "gifted" thing to both teachers and I wanted to clarify to some of the mom's out there that had commented-I do appreciate my children "each" for their indivduality-I have always meant to express that to them from the very beginning. I would take time out to play with each one with one on one mommy time and switch it up-the older they got the harder it was to do so but I still try very hard. My mom and I will actually split them up on the weekends every once in awhile to have just mommy and Haybelle time or baby Shay Shay and mommy time but it works out even better because the other is also getting nana and granddaughter time too~
I don't believe in "pushing" my children's education -I do think it's very important but I think it's just as important to focus on allowing kids to be kids too. They are only 6 1/2 they aren't going to college tomorrow but if I can watch and agree that they are more accelerated and could "handle" the gifted programs then I want to encourage that as much as I can.
Okay so that being clarified I was told that it is VERY difficult to get a 1st grade child into the gifted program and I also missed the mark for referral. Come January I can refer my own kids but the teachers warned that it's difficult for whatever reasons to get them in at 1st grade. They told me they will automatically test them in 2nd grade and if they feel it's within their best interest then of course they will refer them. My children are progessing in several areas and not "mastered" as of yet but sometimes I myself wonder if they are really "catching" on which tends to deter me away from the fact that they could be "gifted" ???? Oh well I'm not going to stress upon it and I will wait until next year to see where they are at-the last thing I want to do to them is put them somewhere where they would "struggle" I've been there and done that and it is not fun at all. More importantly I want them to enjoy their education experience and just be kids for now-they have plenty of time to worry about that later on.....even then they shouldn't stress out so much about it. They could go work for McDonalds and I would still be just as proud as I am today!

Featured Answers



answers from Augusta on

I have a gifted 7 yr old. Being bored is one thing they do get bored easily. But there are other factors, for example pick up on things quickly, it takes one example of how to do something and it sticks. My 7 yr old has been doing math and writing her name since she was 3. She's got almost a 4th grade reading level. My daughter gets it from her father. He is super smart and was in all those AP, gifted classes.

She could be gifted, yes.

More Answers



answers from Atlanta on

Hi! It is possible that your children could qualify for gifted programming in the school system. Depending on which county you are in, there are going to be different programs available. In Gwinnett, where I live, there is not specific programming until at least 3rd or 4th grade, when they can be recommended by their teacher, and are then evaluated within the school system - no charge to you.

When you have your teacher conference, do bring up how they are doing in relation to the class as a whole. Ask if the teacher thinks they are on the path toward being recommended for gifted programming. Ask/tell what things you can be/are doing at home to encourage their learning beyond the classroom - taking trips, exploring nature, reading to them books that are above their grade level (they can understand at a higher level than they currently read at). Then see what the response is.

Obviously you are gifted in your own ways, even it wasnt' "book learning". Find your areas of passion and joy and do what you can to excel at those - We were all blessed with different gifts, and the best thing you can do for your children is be confident of your abilities in the areas YOU excel in, at the same time that you are encouraging them to grow and learn.




answers from Columbia on

When I was a kid I had the same problem, right around first grade. After I told my parents on several occaions that I already knew what we were learning and I was often bored, they asked my teacher. In my school the school paid for having me tested, I believe it was an IQ test and determined that I would bennefit from joining the "humanities" program at the school. Basically the program focused on creativity, thinking out-of-the-box, and higher level thinking. Check with your school and see what they have and then ask the twins questions about what experiences they might welcome. If the school does not have such classes maybe find some after school or weekend groups/classes to satisfy their growing minds.



answers from Spartanburg on

C A RELAX, for now be the momma.
There are many gifts the twins may have. You get to be their mom. And relax about not feeling smart yourself. You are smart and wise and wonderful. My husband is really smart too. But so am I and we do different things well---mmm that worked out nicely!!! School was just school and that was only part of your life. I had an easy time in school--and then my mom died. Then it got not so easy and other things in life pressed on my mind. So my perspective is different than most.

If they are gifted,and go to school in South Carolina--they will be tested, identified and served. I have been most impressed with the way that two of my children--who by the way, are kids first, sports addicts next and then blessed to have a really easy time in school-- have been nicely served by the public school system in Pickens County.

I will say that my eldest; the child asked after in third grade how he got into the "Quest" program: We called, found out, and the next year he had tested into it. This same child is now completely thrown when his 9th grade honors English Class (he is in 8th grade) gives him homework at night that he actually does not get done until he gets out of school. It is good for him. He is not bored in school---and I do not believe he has ever been--but that is because he is so social.

My eleven year old daughter just LOVES school. Always has. She was identified as "gifted" in the second grade, and while "Quest" was not offered yet, a dear sweet teacher took her under her wing and made sure she was not wasting away in her regular class. She went on to "Quest" and is now conquering middle school.

Now, my second grader does well in school--but it is not his burning desire. He just likes other stuff better. Basketball. Outside...that is his LOVE. Cannot be bothered with sitting down and writing. Or care to spell anything at all--he can do it--does well in fact, but he is not as into all of that as his elder siblings. He does well in school--no desire to be labeled gifted or anything else.

I am afraid of my two year old. I think he is too smart now for his own good. Kind of reminds me of the eldest...and the daughter....but scary smart right now.

Kids are all different and wonderful and it is just our job as parents to help them to do their best and find their own way in the world. If you relax they will too.



answers from Atlanta on

If they go to public school, they test them in school. My son is now in 6th grade, but he has been in REACH (the gifted program) since he was in 2nd grade. He failed the test in first grade by just a couple points so they retested him in 2nd and he passed. Something about the maturity level of boys versus girls is just unbelievable! :)

If you feel like your girls are "smarter than the average kid" then they probably are gifted. Just ask their teacher if she would recommend testing for the gifted program. The worst she could say is no. Let us know what happens! :)



answers from Atlanta on

I wouldn't overthink it....if your twins are gifted, their teachers know the signs to look for and will mention it to you-- and have them tested for the gifted program if there's one available at their school.
There's 14 years between me and my youngest brother. When he was in elementary school, he would call me every afternoon at work when arriving home from school and say "I'm bored, will you give me a project to do?" He wasn't "gifted" but turned out to be a great student without really having to study in high school.
Don't let your feelings or past history with school interfere with your twins' path in education. If they're doing well in school, that's evidence enough.



answers from Atlanta on

Being bored in school is also a characteristic of students that have to deal with boring teachers. :) Oh, and DON'T SAY THAT AT THE TEACHER CONFERENCE! heh heh! (I'm not picking on teachers - it's not easy for ANYONE to keep a bunch of young children mentally engaged for hours every day.)

For an idea of "characteristics of the gifted child" see:
Hoagies has lots and LOTS of information giftedness, various gifted programs (most of which are $$$, but not all), advice for parents and kids, and lists of recommended gifts (like challenging games or toys) and links to cool (FREE) websites.

The term "gifted" is generally used loosely - many schools have *some* kind of program for gifted (I think "TAG program" for "talented and gifted" is a term used in Georgia public schools) but it means different things in different places. Maybe it's the top 10%, 5%, or 1% based on some objective test. Or maybe there's a more subjective criteria, such as when a child is referred to the program by a teacher who believes the child shows particular creativity or aptitude in some area.

Then there's "gifted," "highly gifted," "exceptionally gifted," and "profoundly gifted" (think Mozart).

Unfortunately for gifted children, many states have had to cut the budget for gifted programs as an unintended result of "No Child Left Behind," because in some schools there is so much focus on bringing the struggling students up to speed that the kids at the other end of the spectrum don't get enough stimulation. (I don't want to imply that that is wrong, just that is has had side effects, at least in some schools, since educational resources are limited.)
Similarly, much of the high-stakes testing intended to increase "accountability" has had a high opportunity cost in other areas, but I digress.

Keep in mind that many very bright children act out in school and can be misdiagnosed as having ADHD and my be inappropriately medicated. And there are also many gifted children who having learning disabilities, known as "twice exceptional". Giftedness frequently accompanies dyslexia, Asbergers, ADHD, etc. If your child is having enough problems at school that you're one day considering medication, THAT would definitely be a good time to have a psychological evaluation. They are usually pretty expensive, though. I know a woman who has had her 3 children tested by (I think) Stephen Garber and Nancy Hatcher, (2 different practices) both in Atlanta or Marietta area. And I think it set her back around $2,500 - $4,000 per kid - it varied for each of her children. And it's kind of an ongoing thing, since they each have their gifts and their issues.

In general, the best things to do for gifted children holds true for *all* children, so read up on what gifted programs offer or do differently and try to do the same kinds of things with your kids. Keep reading aloud to them, even after they can read on their own. Give them lots of opportunities to experience different things and help them find their passions. Give them lots of outlets for creativity and don't over-schedule. And when they find something they're really interested in, help them learn more, obsess and really get INTO whatever it is, chemistry or painting or fencing. You know - help them nurture their passions, even if it seems odd to you.



answers from Spartanburg on

You sound like a mom who really loves her children, and I think that is a gift in and of itself. Children can sometimes show signs of being "gifted and talented" at an early age, but keep in mind that ALL children have special gifts and talents that make them each unique and special. What you can do is talk with your kids individually (a good chance to have some one-on-one time with each of them) about what they really like to do. Ask them if they could play any instrument what would it be, or ask them if they like to write down their thoughts or draw about what they are feeling or thinking. You will find that your children may have several hidden talents that will emerge over time, and the best way you can help them achieve success in developing those talents is to be their number one cheerleader. You can do this by showing an interest in what they are doing -- be genuine, offering constructive criticism rather than just saying "that's good or that's pretty". Say things like, "I like the way you used the color red in this picture. Is red your favorite color?" If they seem to be interested in writing or reading, suggest that you start a journal time with them every night before bed where you join them in writing down some things that made your day more fun or more hectic. You can also take advantage of the local library where you can encourage your kids to pick out reading materials that interest them. Don't discourage them from reading books that may seem below their grade level if it is about a subject they really like. As long as they are reading, that is what counts. Do make sure they are not reading something way over their heads, though, because that might cause them to become discouraged with the experience of reading. When you meet with their teacher(s) don't say that they are "bored" because some teachers may not take that well. What you can say is that you were wondering if your children seem to be "engaged" throughout the day and see what the teacher says. If she/he says the kids seem to enjoy what they are doing, then it could be that the kids just tell you they are bored when they really aren't -- my kids do the same thing when I clearly see they are enjoying something. If the teacher says the kids seem like they are not engaged with what they are doing in class, suggest to the teacher that maybe they could be given some more advanced projects to work on after completing their regular classwork while the other students are still working. Also, the teacher may allow your kids to help the other kids who are struggling by serving as "teaching assistants" or mentors to the other kids. All in all, you will know whether your children are child geniuses or just regular kids with some amazing skills and talents that need to be developed through a loving, caring process. I wish you the best with your children. They sound truly amazing, and I know you are a great mother as well. Remember that the teachers will pick up on the fact that your kids have abilities that other kids may not yet have, so they may even approach you about the subject as well. If so, make sure you evaluate any programs they are recommending your children be involved in to be sure they are a good fit for both you and your child. Kids need to have down time as well and can benefit from recreation as well as academic time, so don't push too hard. Take care!



answers from Atlanta on

You haven't given enough information for us to surmise that your twins are gifted. How are they with homework? Do they complete it easily? Are they excited about learning? At home, do they try to challenge themselves. It has been my experience that truly gifted kids crave intellectual stimulation and are always looking for the next challenge. I would think that you would have noticed their gifted tendencies by now. Most parents that I know say they knew that something was different, but wasn't quite sure because of course, everyone thinks their kid is gifted (including myself lol)

Honestly, I don't think a kid who randomly says they are bored on occasion is gifted. Now a kid who constantly and consistently complains that they are bored at school (and usually getting in trouble as a result of boredom) is a different story.

Having said that, all children are gifted (aka talented) at something! I was a terrible athlete and terrible at math, but I have always been a "gifted" writer and have been able to turn that into a career for myself. But I'm not gifted in the sense of a genius or anything close to that!



answers from Atlanta on

I teach courses related to gifted education (and of course I'm a mom too). Your children can certainly be gifted no matter whether their mom and dad are (although I'm sure you're smarter than you give yourself credit for). Intelligence is hereditary but also greatly influenced by environment (what you do at home). Your girls' teacher will probably mention it if she feels they are different from their classmates. You might share with her that the girls said they were bored (as long as it doesn't insult her!). If your teacher suspects they might benefit from the gifted program the school psychologist will test them at no charge. It may be a little later, though; many gifted programs start at second grade.



answers from Atlanta on

I am an elementary school teacher. Yes, your children could be gifted, or bright, or learning disabled, or average.

Every year after Kindergarten, schools administer tests. The results of those tests, along with teacher observation, determine giftedness in children. Gifted is rare and not all bored children are gifted just as all gifted children aren't bored.

I would suggest enjoying your children at their current age. There's nothing you can do to help them be gifted. They either are or they're not.

My oldest is bright and a very high achiever. She remembers things from before I was divorced. She amazes me because she too forgets nothing. Having that, she is not gifted. She'll probably make As and Bs all through school because she works hard and she's smart. She's NOT gifted! I had gifted students fail some subjects...again, testing will show the results.

Also, remember that "gifted" doesn't just mean "smart." Everyone had God-given gifts. It seems that perhaps you have not recognized YOUR gifts. My youngest is smart enough I suppose but her imagination is outstanding! She tends to get lost in fantasy a lot. I let her. She doesn't have the kind of smarts her sister does but I celebrate their differences! Who knows? Maybe my youngest will write a wonderful series of children's books or maybe she'll just have a decent job and live a decent life! I don't know and it's not for me to try to guess the future for my kids. I just support them and encourage them to do their best.

I didn't do well in school. I thought I was stupid. Now I'm a school teacher! They don't let stupid people teach! I have gifts that didn't show up in school. I suspect, if you think about it, or even ask your friends about it, you'll discover what gifts you have.

Good luck, and keep on being a great mom!



answers from Atlanta on

My son just got into focus which is the name for the gifted program in elementary school. You can certainly ask their teacher how they act in class and what she thinks of their achievements. You can also recommend your daughters be considered for the gifted program if you feel they need more of a challenge. They will first look at the work your daughters are doing in class and then decide if they truly do need to be tested for focus.

You should also check out the GA dept of Education :

I my self joined the parent community at Great

Hope this helps.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions