Raising Teens'

T.,

17 is in general a very difficult age, even if you're brought up in a perfect home enviroment. The reality is that life is tough and your son sounds very sensitive, thus this world around us can be hard to deal with. Your son is struggling because he's beginning to deal with some of these issues on an adult level with girls and friends. Do you all attend church as a family and read the bible? If not, maybe you should seek one out - no one on this earth is alone when they invite God into their lives.

Peace,
M. B.

T.,
I totally agree with the others.... even as an adult I felt alone until I accepted Christ as my savior. It was the best feeling ever!

It's hard enough to be 17. I hated being 17 (and 18, 19 and 20...) and I wished my family had been involved in church so I could've not felt to hurt and alone at that time.

Hi T., he sounds like a wonderful son. There are many churches out there that have wonderful youth groups your son can get involved with. Also sometimes we get so involved in our own selves and our desires that we feel depressed and alone and question how we fit in at any age. What I did for my brother( who went through that stage at 17) was get him involved in programs such as the soup kitchen and under the bridge. He volunteered one saturday a month to give his services to the less fortunate. It helped him take his focus off of himself and realize his life is pretty wonderful. After speaking to them and hearing there stories he learned that there are a lot of people who share these feelings of not knowing where they fit in and how some of their choices sent them down a bad road. He felt like a new person giving his time to help someone else and made some wonderful friends in the process that shared his same tender heart.

Well just keep being there for him is about all you can do. Right now he is at the stage that he is trying to find him self and where he fits in. Tell him to be his self and let everyone else fit in. I have a 17 year old son that try's so hard to be cool and I constantly tell him that if he stop's trying it will come natural. He is an awesome kid but if he gets around the wrong crowd he try's to be like them. So just keep your son away from those kinds and let him know they need to fit in with him. Keep pray'n and pray'n you will soon be over all this. It does get easier when they grow up and leave home. Not saying that its easier being away from them cause its not but once they leave home "you become smart again". My daughter who is now 18 is in the army and realizes hey wait mom wasnt so stupid after all. lol Good luck

oh and just to let you know my daughter resently told me "mom you remember who I used to tell you I cant wait to grow up and move out on my own"? I said "yeah". she said "I used to hate being bossed around but now the only thing that comes out of my mouth is "YES DRILL SGT"! They have to learn for them self. as your son will. Just hang on tight cause it will be gone before you know it.

The child care and values you have already instilled in him will carry him through. All you can do is assure him of your love and make him know that he is a valuable person. He is going through that hard time between being a child and turning into a young man. My Mom always told me that when I was having problems that the solution was to go look into the mirror and I would find the source of my trouble....within myself. Tell him to love himself and others will follow.

Do you live near a rodeo circuit? I mean one that has young teens involved in the sport? Perhaps that would help him as they would have many of the same values that your son grew up with. As for the age of 17 it is a time when he is growing from child/teen to a young adult. He is entering the real world where everything is not black and white but shades of grey. Give him lots of love and encouragement. Good people will find him. Have him set some goals and work towards them whether they be bull riding, school and what and mark of accomplishments and set new. Be positive with him it will work. We all want to see our children safe and sound but we have to let go a bit as they grow so that they can take over and be adults who make their own decsions. Good luck to your family.

My 17 year old son is going through the same thing. He asked a girl he has known for 7 years out for valentines, she told him she would ask permission and call him back. It has been 1 week and she is never home when he calls now. He has helped her through a few break ups from tremendous jerks. This seems to be a pattern with all the girls he likes. We keep telling him that God has someone special in mind and obvoiusly this girl (whoever it is at the time) is not someone he is ready for him to see right now.

We also tell him that if he focuses on his future and goals, that he will be ready when the right one comes along. We try to stress the importance of being ready and able to take care of yourself and then letting the rest fall into place. Then I try really hard not to call the girl(s) and let her know what I think! This has happened several times! We tell him to be grateful that they showed their colors early enough to keep him from being really hurt!

You need to introduce him to Jesus Christ, if he doesn't already have a relationship with Him. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He is the only one who will never let you down and who will be there always.

A really good book is "Parenting Teens With Love and Logic" by Foster Cline, MD, and Jim Fay; there is also a woman who is a counselor and has a DVD called "Parenting with wit and wisdom" - named Cathie Looney. I've heard she has a website (she is here in Dallas) and will answer your questions on her website; good luck!!

I completely understand that it does not get easier. I have 3 girls and 2 of them are teens one 17 and the other 15. Since they have become teenagers it has been a struggle almost daily. They have always been very good but now they seem to make bad choices and the friend things are another story. Seems like they have friends and then there friends go and talk about them behind there back which I call back stabbers. It hurts me I think worse than them. My 17 year old also feels that is hard to trust people. One thing that does comfort her is her dog that she adores. I try to encourage her to find some work to do that envolves animals. The only advice I can give is pray for them and don't give up.