Quitting F/T Job...

Updated on September 10, 2008
T.W. asks from Lexington, KY
44 answers

I used to be a SAHM for 2.5 years when my boys were very small- from the time that my oldest son was born until my youngest son was 6 mos old. I have been working F/T for the past 5 years. This Friday will make my last day working F/T. Since the cost of gas to get to and from work and the cost of daycare is more than I bring home each week- it just doesn't make sense to work F/T anymore. I will stay home with the boys (who are now in school) thru the week, and work a P/T job on the weekends. Now- when I did this before- I got VERY stir crazy- Talking in baby talk all day long. Not having many friends or a hobby or something to have a break. And the boys weren't in school or anything then since they were so small... So, as soon as hubby walked in the door- he got ambushed. I had to talk to him for at least an hour before he could get a word in edgewise. To prevent this type of problem this time around, anyone have any suggestions on how to beat the boredom? I love my kids to pieces! I am so happy to be making this change. I just want to make sure that I don't get tired of it.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for such great advice! I'm looking into Pampered Chef- to provide some income and socialization. I think I would enjoy that! The house that we just bought has LOTS of flowers that can be loved. :) The boys are 5 and 7- youngest goes to preschool the first half of the day and will come home shortly before noon, the oldest is in 2nd grade (full day). You all had GREAT suggestions about options to keep my weekends open for family fun! Thank you so much! Anyone here from Kentucky???

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T.P.

answers from Nashville on

I'm in a similar situation. My main outlet has been writing -- it doesn't matter what. And I've been working to sharpen my cooking skills and reading books about building my dream house (maybe if some of the writing sells...ha ha).

You could also look into taking a few classes in something that interests you or doing something like the Y, which would provide childcare for the baby inexpensively.

It's frustrating, I know, but a good opportunity too. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Nashville on

take on a hobby. Do some honey do jobs around the house. Take on gardening. There are a lot of things I would love to be doing right now besides being at the office.
Get involved with your local church or other charitable programs. I'm sure there are areas you are needed. Just keep your outside the home activities local and you won't have a high gas bill.
I can't wait till I can stay home again. My children are either grown (two are 20 now... twins,) or are in high school(we have a junior and a freshman, both athletes), so I'm not really needed by them like when they were small. But I do hope to be a stay at home grandma someday. That way my children won't have the cost of daycare to worry about.
That's someday.... today I'm still at work, but thankful for it!

2 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Memphis on

You could attend a Bible Study & meet other mom's that way or older mom's whose advice will become valuable later in life. You could take some classes at your local community college or through your parks and rec. Get to know your neighbors & see if there are other SAHM's. Volunteer at your boys schools will keep you busy & keep you in contact with adults.

Your boys will benefit so much having you at home and hubby...well he just may have to toughen up those ears a bit. LOL. Best of luck to you.

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V.C.

answers from Louisville on

You don't mention how old your children are but I would highly suggest you do what they would be doing if you put them into childcare outside the home. Educational things, crafty stuff.. it can be fun, but you will have to consider doing some things outside the box. Check out MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) they have a wonderful program and it will allow you some socialization of your own with other mom's.

There are a lot of free sites on the net for activities and such for preschoolers even those who are 2 yrs old.

We homeschool, so I sought those things and sites out early.
It will at least break up your day, you will enjoy spending time with the children although you still might have your moments as we all do. :)

Check out your local library too they often have story times and such during the week.

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K.G.

answers from Raleigh on

Yes, it's hard to make the transition. Maybe start your own work from home business. It's what I did after I lost my job due to a reorganization.

I make money, brings a sense of order, it forces me out of the house (and forces hubby to hold down the fort while I'm gone)and I get to talk with other adults about something other than kids and housework!

Hope this helps!

~K.

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A.M.

answers from Asheville on

all great suggestions. why not consider the part time job during the week while they are at school so that you have the weekends free to devote time to family?

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C.F.

answers from Lexington on

I highly recommend joining a MOPS group. Email me for info if you're interested!

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K.L.

answers from Louisville on

I totally understand how you feel! I stay at home with 3 boys and need my "me time"! One thing that I do is I attend library story hours, schedule 1 day a week that I get out without them (alot of time its just to go grocery shopping, but its amazing how much it helps!). A HUGE thing that has also helped me has been owning my own business, but I know thats not for everyone. Try finding something, a hobby, or a volunteer position that you are passionate about..it'll give you a way to be productive and the opportunity to connect with others. Hope that helps! Good luck!

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L.J.

answers from Charlotte on

Good afternoon T.,

I pray this email finds you well!

I've been a SAHM since moving to Charlotte two years ago. To help with boredom, I volunteer at my children's school(elem, middle, and HS)and Crisis Assistance Ministry. The 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, I get together with the women from the Lake Norman Women's Connection. There are several agencies/organizations you can volunteer at around your own schedule.

I'm also a Mary Kay Consultant if you're interested in sales, which you can do while the boys are in school.

Be blessed,
L.

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T.

answers from Chattanooga on

Here are some ideas:
volunteer at the boys' school

join an exercise club (I like Curves)

volunteer at the Creative Discovery Museum, thw Zoo, the Aquarium, the Children's Hospital, etc. Even once every 2 weks will help.

Clean house (there is always something to do)

run errands (esp. the grocery store -- I hate taking the kids there)

Try scrapbooking. I have recently gotten back into this. I am trying to catch up on the last 6 years.

Make a schedule for yourself. For ex. Monday and Wednsday can be clean house days. Tuesday can be grocery day. Thursday can be volunteer day.

Good luck!

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V.D.

answers from Charlotte on

Congrats on being a SAHM again! I am very blessed to be the mom of two beautiful little girls, but have really struggled since moving to a new town a little over two years ago! I have always been very career driven, but realized that the most important job is being a good mommy and wife to my wonderful family! I was fortunate enough to get involved with Southern Living at HOME before we moved and have LOVED it ever since! It has been a great way for me to decorate my new house house without having to spend a lot of money and gas driving around shopping! It has been a great "break" for me in the evenings when I have parties and Daddy gets to spend some great quality time with the girls.....and I also get to make a little "mad" money for when I need my retail therapy! You are probably going to be bombarded with other direct sales jobs, just find the one that matches your interests the most and I'm sure you will enjoy it! Just let me know if you have any questions. My website it www.southernlivingathome.com/vickidalton! Take care and enjoy life!!!!

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G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

is there a part time job you could do around your area? You oculd also volunteer at different places. I konw that Libraries and historical sites use volunteers, you could vol. at your kid's school, you could read for the blind, meals on wheels.

I know how you feel :) I was really lost when I quit working. my job was my life. and I thrive on social interaction. There were Bible studies in my church that I went to and just finding other stay at home moms.

Is there a hobby or project that you've always wanted to do? or go back to school for any reason.

Hope you find something. I know how boring sititng at home with no one to play with can be :)

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A.J.

answers from Raleigh on

I know you already posted what happened, so I hope you don't mind one more thought. :) PLEASE go into your kids classrooms and volunteer. That is THE best thing to help them. It gives you a better relationship with their teachers, while also seeing a true picture of what she/he expects for that age. It will also get you into a loop of other volunteering/ stay at home moms. :)

Blessings,
Amanda

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E.R.

answers from Jacksonville on

Why don't you get a part time job during the morning or early afternoons while your children are in school? Then you could be home when they get home or pick them up from school. It doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to be at home alone all day, then work on the weekends while your family is out having fun! Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi there,

I work for local government and we have a ton of women in your situation who volunteer to be on a board or advisory committee. Most of the committees meet just once a month but have other activities to get you involved. For example, there's a committee on sustainability that works to increase recycling in the community. It sponsors litter sweeps and other things like that. There are several committees/boards in all communities. Check out the ones in your hometown or find an organization you believe in, maybe something with animals. This is something that will get you out of the house and will be an example to your boys to be involved in their community.

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A.D.

answers from Charlotte on

Volunteer at their school or even at your local middle school. Someone always needs helping with reading at the schools. Or look for a small p/t job during school hours. ie Preschools, YMCA, small botique...
Good Luck!

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K.M.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi, I used to be a full-time nanny (3 kids birth - four in my most recent job) then quit to be a stay at home mom, so I know how challenging it is to be at home. My poor hubby got ambushed each night also.

I have read some of the other responses and agree that the best thing you can do is volunteer. Don't limit yourself to your children's classrooms though. There are plenty of places that will need your help. I know gas is expensive, but there are some agencies that have assignments you can do from home.

Next you need to join a support group for stay at home moms. CharlotteMommies.com has a a group that is divided into geographical areas.

Hope this helps and all goes well.

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B.M.

answers from Wilmington on

Volunteer! Volunteermatch.org is a good place to start looking for a volunteer opportunity that suits you, or you can google "volunteer" and your city... you get the idea. This might be something you'd like to do WITH your kids, after school or on weekends. It's a great way to introduce them to the idea of helping others, being an active part of their community, etc.

I stay home with my son but he goes to preschool 3 mornings a week, so I do have some time to myself, but it's really not enough for a part-time job. These other moms are right about there always being SOME kind of housework that needs to be done, but my problem is that when my "free" time starts, I often feel aimless. Seems like the only times that I notice things that need to be done are always times when I'm not going to be doing them! (Late at night, as I'm just walking out the door, etc.) My solution has been to keep a running list of things that need to be done around the house. That way, when my free time starts, I can look at the list and choose which task I feel like working on. And if I'm just heading off to bed and I think, "Oh, sometime I really need to get that such'n'such clean...", I can jot it on my list and actually get it done! Hope this helps.

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M.C.

answers from Nashville on

First off, let me say that I'm so jealous! =0) Maybe since your boys are in school now, you can become active in their school/class activities. Kind of like a "room mother". Get with the teachers and tell them that your days are going to be free and you would love to help out in any way possible. Also, maybe you can take on a hobby that you like. I know I would LOVE to have the time to catch up my kids' scrapbooks!! You could always find some ways to become active in your community as well. Enjoy this new life! I think you'll relish it much more now that you're not stuck in the house with "babies" all day every day! The possibilities are endless!! =0)

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P.M.

answers from Wilmington on

Congratulations on being able to quit your job and be at home with your children. I can understand you concerns about being home all week when you are used to being out of the house. My advice....VOLUNTEER!!!! Many schools not only need volunteers in the classroom, but office support and PTA committees as well. It will give you a chance to help out at your child's school and also get your out to meet other mothers. If the school route is not your thing, try local hospitals or other civic organizations that could benefit from your skills.

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R.G.

answers from Louisville on

T., the ladies are right on target. You might want to consider a part-time job, volunteer work at the boys' school, or even taking a few classes yourself! You are fortunate to live near a great school and if a full-time job reaps no better paycheck than to make just enough to cover child care costs and keep gas in the car, it might be time to think about your future as well as your kids'. One of these days, they will both be grown and move out on their own. Probably well before that, you will be ready to move back into the job market. After being out of the workforce for a few years, it won't be easy to do. But if you can show a prospective employer that during your time away you were not only raising your children but going to school yourself, you will increase your value as a worker and find yourself much more in demand. And the jobs open to you will be higher up the payscale than what you left behind. Check into what classes the university has to offer that might fit into your schedule. You can drop the kids at school, get to the university, take in one or two classes a day (I'd recommend only one a day to start) and be home in time to do your homework before picking them up at school! Then, when they graduate from elementary school and head off to high school, they will know that Mom has shown them that high school is not the end of their educational career but just another stop along the way and they need to look at where they want their college studies to take them.

And what better role model could they possibly have than a mom who doesn't just tell them they need to go to college, but who shows them by example, that it is expected of them. By doing this, you will not only be bettering your own life but theirs as well!

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S.M.

answers from Greensboro on

Since both kids are in school, you can exercise, volunteer, start a new hobby, learn a new skill, take some classes, the sky's the limit! You'll be surprised at how your time fills up. I'm in the same situation and barely have time to exercise, shower, and do the daily chores (i.e. house cleaning, food shopping, errands, etc.) before it's time to pick up the kids. Once you start volunteering, it will snowball and can become a full-time unpaid job. I've been there, too!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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B.C.

answers from Nashville on

Maybe you should have your P/T job when they are at school and not on the weekends when they are home. You could then work some during the week and have them to keep you occupied on the weekends. You would then not be alone during the day when the boys are gone anyway.

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M.D.

answers from Nashville on

There are several things you can do to keep yourself busy and keep the brain and body exercised; volunteer at school; maybe you have skills from your professional life that ou could use on the PTO there. Many charities, the Red Cross for instance, have a need for regular volunteers also. Look into weekly activities at your church; most have a scripture study programme. Take an exercise class; if you can sign up at the local "Y" , or look in your local newspaper for details of daily classes, you might even find a new interest .Also keep up with current events via the newspaper or online . The key for me was meeting other adults with similar interests. I don't think you will have time to get bored either , once the boys take up a sport or other after-school activity you will be managing your house, and getting ready for them to come home from school etc...I find I have gotten busier as they have gotten older.

This is a huge transition for you but enjoy it, I have been lucky and blessed to be a SAHM since my first one was born 11 1/2 yrs ago , we made a decision that one parent should be at home especially while they are young. The cost of childcare and just not wanting to leave my babies for long periods was also a big factor in the decision. We are able to live comfortably on one wage but we don't live luxuriously, and in the early years of our marriage we did have to live frugally but we are both in agreement that it is worth it for a stable and happy family life. My kids have said they love to have me at home when they step off the bus and it makes me happy that they feel secure and content . I would say that I have wrestled with the label of "housewife" for years and my husband actuallly says to say I am a Domestic Engineer if anyone asks if I work ! I know I am contributing to our family by doing what I do because my husband has been able to concentrate on his career , and I am also helping to build a strong community where I live because I am able to volunteer at school and elsewhere.
Enjoy the change , God bless you and your family.

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L.L.

answers from Nashville on

well for starters you might ask at their school if you can help the teacher run copies or anything else that would help their teachers out. You also might check at the YMCA and see if you could put in a part time shift while kids are in school that would a) earn some money b) get you a free Y membership and c) put you out in the world with people that you can talk to. Look for community outreach opportunities that you can do while they are at school.

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M.F.

answers from Memphis on

Is there a hobby that you have always wanted to do? (e.g., knitting, painting, scrapbooking)

There are always local classes that are usually inexpensive that you could do to get started on a hobby. For instance, last month I took a knitting class. It was a total of 4 hours split over 2 saturdays for $25. Now I get asked if I charge to make stuff for people.

Like "what would you charge to make a baby blanket for a shower I have coming up?"

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L.

answers from Charlotte on

It sounds like it will be a whole different experience this time with them older and in school. However, if you're looking for an outlet during the day, maybe try Facebook. I'm finding old friends on there and making new ones and just love it. Also, I don't know where you live, but The Mommies Network is in most places and it's a great on-line place for moms to connect. (Ie. in Charlotte, it's "CharlotteMommies.com. You can check TheMommiesNetwork.com to find a group in your area). Also, there are some really great work-at-home opportunities if you want to make a living at home - especially since your boys are in school, sounds like you might have time to do some of that. (I do have a suggestion and opportunity for you if you're interested in that - just send me a message). Enjoy your new lifestyle! God bless.

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C.C.

answers from Greensboro on

HI try checking out northpiedmontmommies.com It'a great site for mom's to chat, get to know eachother go on mom's night outs, play dates, gatherings, coffees etc. We are a close net "family" and love new members. Tell them Charliec27 sent ya!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

can you work a p/t job now while they are in school instead of on weekends? I would want family time on weekends and try to find some retail or small job that will let you work just the hours while they are in school or daycare. You can try to work at a school, any school, or your kid's school. You can be a teacher's aide, cafeteria aide, etc That money would then be extra. Let us know what town you live in and we can give more advice.

I usually run errands, eat lunch with friends, clean the house, go through my HUGE piles of paper, magazines, mail, etc things that I can't do when kids are at home.

Enjoy it!

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M.P.

answers from Asheville on

Work from home and talk to adults all day long! You can work whenever it suits you and doesn't interfere with anything you need to do at home. You won't be working for the oil companies and don't have to dress up or buy pantyhose! ;-) I have a Mamasource business but quit paying for the memberperks ads because I got no results from it. My company is very successful and I would be glad to tell you about it if you want to contact me. I promise I won't bug you or pressure you at all!

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H.K.

answers from Huntington on

Hey T.! I'm not in Lexington, but I do live in Huntington, WV. Kind of close, but still kind of far away! I stay home during the day with my 14 month old son, Brendan.

Anywho, I just wanted to tell you about a new company that I just signed up with. It's called Uppercase Living, here's my website http://H..uppercaseliving.net We do home parties, like Pampered Chef, only it's not kitchen products. I sell vinyl wall expressions for your home - they look like stencils, but they're really stickers. They're beautiful, inspiring and everyone LOVES them!

I thought about selling Pampered Chef to make extra money and to meet other ladies in the area (we just moved here 6 months ago), but when I was introduced to Uppercase Living, I immediately fell in love with it! I love Pampered Chef too, but there are so many demonstrators out there I thought it might be difficult to find new customers. Also, I hosted a PC party a few months ago and didn't even have enough sales to get anything for free because my guests were saying I already have this and that, or I can get that much cheaper somewhere else - needless to say, I don't have rich friends :)

The best thing about Uppercase Living is that it's only been around for two years so most people haven't heard of it yet... meaning, a lot of people are really excited to decorate their homes with it and host their own open houses to share it with their friends and family!

Sorry this is so long. I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have. Thanks for reading this!
~H.~

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K.R.

answers from Charlotte on

T., I currently work from home and it is great! The company is called WESTAT so you can check them out at WESTAT.com. I'm sure they are hiring still. I have been working for them since March of 2008 and they do direct deposit and pay weekly so there is no gas used to drive anywhere. The pay starts at 8.25/hr and after 9pm and on weekends it pays 10.25/hr. If you are bilingual the pay starts at 10.25 and differential is $2 more. The min. that you can work is 15 hours/week in 2-3 hour min. incriments. Training is even paid for. Ah, forgot to mention... the job is data collecting and there are NO quotas to meet-the pay is hourly. The company contracts usually with the government doing surveys, but you can read about that and fill out the application process online at www.westat.com when you get to the website look under career opport. and select home data collectors to fill out the application. Again, it IS a legit company- I even checked them out on the BBB before I applied. If you do consider applying, I would appreciate it if you would use my name as a reference on the application (under: how you heard about us- check "other" and type in my name- Kelly Rosenberry). It also explains what you need for the job which is high speed internet (I have DSL) and a land-line phone with headset. I bought my phone and headset on Amazon for $120 total. That is the only expense that I had to pay, otherwise, you DO NOT pay the company anything to work for them! They are VERY flexiable and I work from home which gives me the extra cash while I'm a SHAM. (okay, end of shameless plug for the company!) Good luck and I hope you consider working for Westat!

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S.B.

answers from Charlotte on

If I were you.I would get a part time job during the week when the boys are in school so you are home on the weekends with them.That way you can all have you down with each other.Also this way the boys will get to see you more and it will give yousomething to do while the boys are in school full time now..good luck..
S. B

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

If they are in school now then you shouldn't have to talk baby talk. You will be there alone. Now... can you not find a part time job just during the day so you are there after school and on the weekends? If not, get involved in something. Find something that you like to do whether it is taking up canvas painting at home or volunteering at a shelter or hospital. See if they have some kind of bridge (card) club or start going to the Y and working out. THat way you will meet people and have an interest in something else too. I personally like the idea of going to the gym or Y every day and exercising. That way you can meet people, and look hot for your husband all at the same time.

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R.P.

answers from Charlotte on

As many of the others have said, offer to volunteer at the boys' school. Also seek out community opportunities - sort clothes or food at the community relief organization, babysit at a shelter for women and children, help the hospital auxillary run the gift shop, be a tour guide for the museum. And try to do something just for you - check the library for a book club, join a Bible study, take a class in a subject that has always interested you - history, theater, art, dance. Give yourself a month and you'll wonder how you had time to work!

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C.R.

answers from Knoxville on

How about volunteering.If you can volunteer someplace close to home you won't use a lot of gas. I am new to this area, Knoxville, so I am not sure of the opportunities available but make sure that it is something you enjoy. I have worked with young children in the local public school on math and reading, the local church in collecting donations for the food pantry and at the food pantry helping in whatever they needed. I enjoy working with people so these were all good avenues for me. I did these things in MO. Good Luck

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B.R.

answers from Johnson City on

I'm sure you have heard this before, you need to have a hobby, do volunteer work or create a business from home. Choose something you enjoy doing, maybe using skills you used at work. I have recently done the same thing you are doing, since we took custody of three young grandsons, I am now a SAHM (or grandmom). I enjoy sewing, quilting and working on my computer. Using skills I used at work, I have designed a website and do design work for quilts on the computer, etc. You could also join a support or play group for SAHM. The point is to find things that fulfill you, rather than just the kids. Good luck! B.

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K.S.

answers from Knoxville on

See if there is a mom group that meets in your area. if you have a child that is kindergarten or younger you could check out Mops (mothers of preschoolers.) It is for moms who have kids birth to the end of Kindergarten. check out mops.org to find a group near you if you have one that age. otherwise, just do an online search for mom support groups, or if you attend church, see if they have one, or if another church in your area does. many churches have these types of groups.
take up a new hobby, like scrapbooking, sewing, painting ceramics, etc... you could also check out mom groups that focus on walking or other exercising. try seemommyrun.com there are many others as well.
check out your local ymca and see what they offer as well.
volunteer - could you volunteer at your kids school one day a week? most schools would LOVE to have you, and there is always plenty for you to do. some other volunteer ideas are a nursing home, church, habitat for humanity, mom's day out, etc... if you have a curves near you, they often take volunteers as well, and then you get to work out for free in exchange!
finally, are you going to go back to work eventually? consider taking some online courses to further your education in that field, or to pursue something else you are interested in. often you can even find classes in your area offered by the ymca or the local school system that will be fun and informative. where i'm from the highschools would offer quilting, art, sign language, and other subjects to adults. the classes were one night a week and were only about $50 a year!
i hope this helps! good luck!
-K.

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C.M.

answers from Wheeling on

I know exactly how you feel. I am a stay at home mom as well, with two precious boys. Without sounding repititous of some of the advice you have already gotten, I found an awesome home based business that I have been a part of now for 3 years and love it. Not only does it get me out of the house to be with other adults, but this business also benefits my children as well. I sell children's books with a company called Usborne Books. The books are very educational, well written, beautifully illustrated, of superb quality, and they engage all types of learners. If you would like to check out my website and learn more about the company just go to www.bookskidsaskfor.com and click on income opportunities. Also be sure to sign up for the drawing. My company every month picks a winner to receive $50 in free books. Please feel free to email me if this is something that would interest you at [email protected]____.com. I would love to have you on my team.

Best wishes in whatever you would decide to do and enjoy those boys, they grow up so fast.

C. McKim
Independent Usborne Book Consultant
"I sell books kids love to read"
www.bookskidsaskfor.com
[email protected]____.com
###-###-####

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S.J.

answers from Chattanooga on

I worked P/T until my son was 4 and I had to go to work. He's now 10 and starting the 5th grade. Many of his friends moms are SAHM. They have gotten very involved with the PTO at school and from that have made some very good friendships. They say they have time during the day to have "mommy days out" while the kids are in school. This has kept them from having that stir crazy feeling. They'll got out for lunch on average once a week and some weeks they just go to the park and walk. They have the adult conversations and friendships. Their husbands are also grateful for these as they aren't ambushed when they arrive home.

Good luck with whatever you try.

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M.P.

answers from Memphis on

Have you considered a home-based business? I started working one and found that not only am I able to bring in a good amount of money, but that I get out of the house to be around other women. Plus, since I schedule my hours and classes myself, I am able to be there for my kids.
There are lots of home-based businesses around, depending on what your interests are. (I work with skincare and cosmetics.) You may want to check them out and see if any are right for you.

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E.B.

answers from Nashville on

How wonderful that you'll be able to be at home - you are truly blessed. If you're thinking about a part-time work-from-home kind of job, where you'll get to interact with people as much as you want, please check out my website:
www.workathomeunited.com/edieb
I promise you'll be glad you did. Another thing you might want to consider is joining some meetup groups in various areas of interest to you. Please respond to this e-mail if you'd like my phone number - I'd like to help you all I can.
E. B

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

Maybe you can do a WAH job or an online business . . .

I really didn't understand your request, I'm afraid.

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