Quit Potty Training?

Updated on October 07, 2009
M.O. asks from Denver, CO
13 answers

It's been 4 weeks since we began potty training. We went from not getting it, go getting pee. We went all panties all the time, and she does great as long as we're home, but we're moving for the next few weeks and very busy, which results in a lot of accidents since she doesn't tell me most of the time. Yesterday, we just did diapers, and she asked to go potty 3 times, which she did. Should we just forget about potty training all together until we're settled? She still has not pooped in the potty, so that's a big mess to! Really, how long does this take and, "every kid is different," is not the answer I'm look for. Is she just not completely ready? Or should I tough it out? I would also like to know if any of the books/guides worked for you!
She can't wear pull ups because they give her a rash and her bum, so it's either diapers or panties.

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E.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

These are my thoughts. She is still a bit young. She will have a lot of other changes to deal with if you are moving. I would take a break and resume when things are more settled and you are back in a routine. Even kids that are potty trained (or weaned off bottle or breast or pacifier, etc) sometimes regress when there is a big life change - such as moving. My thought would be to buy some pull ups so that, if she asks, she can easily go to the bathroom. (Why do pull ups give her a rash but not regular diapers? Is the size wrong? Have you tried different brands? They are made of the same things as diapers.) But I wouldn't push it. She's not going to wear diapers forever. She'll be fine (and you'll both be less stressed) if you give her a bit of a break while you move. Plus, kids grow and change so quickly, she'll be even more ready a month or so from now when you resume potty training.

PS I am certainly not an expert...but it seems like after a month of training - if she were really ready (physically, emotionally, developmentally, etc) - she should be close to done. No accidents most of the time (unless sleeping) and letting you know if she is wet. And going #2 does take longer, but she should have at least tried and gone sometimes in the potty by now. Maybe she needs a bit more time. When kids are ready, it happens fairly quickly.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

You are giving up, guaranteed *she* won't. Remember, kids are smart and they want to please.

If she's peeing and pooping in her underwear, um, why is she in them?? Clearly it's too much for her. Put her back in diapers and worry about getting her do other things.

As I've mentioned to some other folks my kids, both, started 'training' at 18 mo's or so. They were interested, they asked, they read the stories, etc. However it took over a year of practice in diapers before they "woke up potty trained one morning". And no, we never had an accident after that a-ha moment.

Just like we can't be expected to run a marathon the day after someone hands us running shoes, you can't expect a kid to get a whole series of actions down cold in a day either.

GL in your decision.

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E.F.

answers from Casper on

I say wait. I would give her three chances a day and then put her back in a diaper, after three days if you are not seeing an improvement. Just tell her your both taking a break and will try again in a month after you have moved. I think it is better to keep the love then keep the underwear. Since you are moving and potting training that most likely will equal frustration and resentment from both parties. So take a break, have a breather have a good move, get settled, get her feeling secure and then start again.
E.

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M.S.

answers from Boise on

Kids get the idea of going potty on the toilet, but it takes a while for them to get to the point where they go all the time by themselves. My daughter just turned 3 and I potty trained her just after she turned 2. This morning she wasn't awake enough to get her jammies off and pottied all over the floor. Accidents happen.

For your questions. I would not stop potty training your daughter, you will get her confused. You need to keep up with it. Instead of having her tell you when she has to go potty, which she is still trying to figure out what her body clues her when she has to, make her go into the bathroom every hour and sit on the potty. If she goes, then wait 2 hours before having her go potty. In a couple of weeks, she will start doing this herself. Usually just potty trained kids go potty every 2 hours.

For bm training that is different. She has different clues altogether for that one that she has to figure out. Teach her to squeeze when she sits down on the potty to go potty. Have her try to squeeze out a bm. We call it kaka here. Anyway, I found that with bm training it takes an additional 2 weeks to figure out. If she toots, have her run to the bathroom every time she toots and sit on the potty, once she goes on the potty then she will get it pretty quick.

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

I would say, she is too young. And even if she was almost 3 yrs old, the kiddos usually digress if there is a big change within 6 months. (Like moving, new baby, long vacation, etc)

My first thought was to not give up, but since she is just almost 2, wait till after the move and you are settled and then go for it.

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

diapers. Each time you change the diaper ask her if she wants to go potty. This will work especially for the first diaper in the morning.

If she goes potty, put a diaper on her after.
If she says no, say OK. never ask again or try to coax her.

this lets her practice going potty and being in control of her own body.

once you feel she's read for more...when she gets back from that first potty of the day...ask her if she wants to wear her panties today, go pee in the potty and earn candy.

Give her this watch. http://www.amazon.com/Timex-Expedition-Classic-Chronograp... (it is water proof and worth the money. she can wear it on a wrist or an ankle)
she is to wear it all the time. If she takes it off, she is to give it to you or put it on a specific spot on the table.

You set the timer to go off every XXX minutes. (start with 30). When the timer goes off, she is to stop whatever she's doing, run and go potty, flush, wash her hands. If she doesn't want to that's OK. It means she wants to be a little girl that day and wear diapers. If she wants to be a big girl, she'll go potty when the timer goes off. That's what big girls do. That's what the girl who lives across the street or down the block does.

She also goes potty just before she leaves the house to play or run errands. and just after getting back to the house. That's just how it is.

good luck :)

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S.B.

answers from Boise on

My son will be two the end of this month too.

A few weeks ago he wanted to potty, and more importantly wear underwear not diapers. But he never went on the toilet, maybe once or twice, but not enough to think he had it down. I ended up telling him that when he went potty in the toilet he could wear underwear. He is back in diapers till he decides he is ready to go potty in the toilet. He is fine being back in diapers. :(
We let him sit on the toilet when he wants to but still nothing.

You may want to try a timer or a potty watch that you can set the timer for different amounts of time and it goes off every hour or what ever you set it for. Then you do not have so many accidents.
You may want to change to pull ups for the time of day she does #2. They are a little easier to clean up after.

Good luck with the move.

S.
mother to Kai
www.HomeWithKai.info

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S.S.

answers from Cheyenne on

M.,

I'll give you a little more support as I was recently in your shoes (and BTW, your daughter is NOT too young...mine is the same age as your kiddo and it has been great other than errors on MY part)!

First, do not give up! I know it's messy sometimes, but you really do not want to have to start completely over, do you? We kept going through our move and my son regressed to having just one accident or so a day for a couple of days and he was back to normal (regression does happen but it does not have to be long)...it depends on how big of a deal you make to her about the move (or new baby or new change) that really makes a difference. Also, remember that at this age, we are truly just training ourselves to take them (but they are smart and get it pretty quickly too) so I find that if I am going to be out of the house or have a busy day, I set the timer on the stove or on my cell phone to remind myself to ask my son if he has to go and to take him potty...works pretty well! (Plastic training pants also work well for those "in the car" times if pull-ups don't work.)

And on the topic of putting them back in pull-ups (or diapers), I have experience with that too! First, my 6-month-old niece came up to visit and shortly after she left, my son brought a pull-up to me (we call them night-night underware and he was wearing them occasionally at night when he had diarrhea...stomach issues, yuck!)and said "diaper"...ugh! So, anyway, he got really sick for several weeks and had diarrhea all the time (to the point that I had to throw away 4 pairs of underware in an hour) so I made the decision to put him in the pull-ups to "save" money...which he still called diapers thanks to my niece's visit...and now that he is better (and I had a baby so I was willing to be lazy at the time), we are almost having to start with square one AGAIN! He got lazy and I got lazy and we went from having no accidents a day to now having several (we are back to only 1-2 a day when I remember to take him all day long)! Not good...so I would avoid the tempation to put her in diapers/pull-ups again with every bone in my body! Despite it being messy at times, it will be worth it in the end (you might also want to put LOTS of plastic shopping bags in the car for wet/poopy clothes and make sure you have a bag packed with extra pants and underware for the trip and maybe buy a cheap plastic potty to put in the car for those long stretches where potties are unavailable (or disgusting)...). My son used to go poopy in the potty (when he had diarrhea, he could feel it coming so he'd tell me), but now that the diarrhea is over, I am having the typical pooping problems that all the other moms have...yuck...but I just watch for that "serious" look (or him hiding or passing gas) and grab him and put him on the potty!

Ultimately, keep up with it! She will get it and have an a-ha moment (it takes a bit for that- think my son took a few months or so originally-, but it's worth it when it comes- but like I said above, we start out by training ourselves- I can tell you that my son, even now, takes little to no time to pee on the potty when it used to take him 30-40 minutes to get pee to come out- he now pees on demand and tells me he has to go sometimes!!!) and she will start telling you more consistently, but don't give up!

S., mom of 22-month-old and 5 week old.

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J.H.

answers from Denver on

She seems very young to me. Just turning two, right? I would wait until you are settled, and have a routine again. It is not worth the stress, she will get it eventually.

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

Even though it's not what you want to hear, every kid IS different. But the good news is that you know your child best. Ask yourself a few questions:
Will stopping potty training be traumatic for your child (especially in light of all the other changes going on in her life with moving)? Will it teach her that potty training is not important when other things are going on (thus really delaying potty training for her)? Would switching back to pull-ups (giving her control of pee, but easier clean up for poopy accidents) be detrimental to her? How does she view potty training -- is it a chore or something that she is really interested in?

I trained my son in the months leading up to and after his sisters birth. It was hard. I had people tell me all the time that I should just wait until things were more settled with the new baby. And when he broke his leg a month before pre-school started it seemed daunting and overwhelming. But then... he got it. And a year later he does it all by himself. No reminders from me (except before really long car rides) no help from me, nothing. It's wonderful. But, he was almost 3 at the time. I notice that your daughter is not quite 2. Maybe, she's not really ready yet -- but only you can answer that question.

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J.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You are very ambitious to start this young, but I have heard of it being done. I think I am a lazy mom when it comes to this. I have always heard that they will let you know when it is time. I was sick of buying diapers for 2 kids. So I had heard that 2 1/2 was the best time. I would put her in diapers and give her a long talk and constantly ask her-do you have to go potty. Then she would pee in her pants. So I would put the diaper back on. I did this about once a month. Well then a month after she turned 3 I realized I hadn't tried in a while. After our play date I decided it was time to try again. So I put her panties on and well she started to go on her own with out me asking her. She didn't even tell me she had to go she just went. I have never had a problem since. I guess because I gave her time to be ready. I have no idea. There are other ways, but I liked not having to force or do the reward. Like I said-maybe I am a lazy mom, but that is what worked for me.

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P.D.

answers from Denver on

It might be worth holding off a bit. She's not that established yet, and even when kids have it down fairly well at home they tend to take longer when away from home and the routine. Moving is like being away from home in a sense, and is certainly a tough time to maintain a routine very vigilantly. When you resume, it will probably be vaguely familiar to her and she may pick right back up on it. Or she may balk at it because of the upheaval that moving naturally brings. She will get there eventually! And sorry to say, every kid IS different! It depends on how physically and emotionally ready they are. A kid who is excited by it emotionally but not as ready in their body just is going to take longer than a kid who is right there physically. My son went his 1st week without accidents, both my girls took well over a month. He was 3, they were 2. It is what it is. Good luck!

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H.Q.

answers from Great Falls on

Unfortunately, "every kid is different" was the answer for me! My oldest got peeing in the potty pretty quick. But getting her to poo?? Well, THAT was a fight! I made her clean her panties if she pooped in them, largely because she thought it was gross - so I was hoping that might change her mind. Still, it took a while.

Now my second - ugh! She would go in the potty sometimes. My Mom came up when I was ready to have #3 and she took my second and said "big sisters go potty in the potty" and that was all it took for her! I'm not kidding - I went to the hospital on a Monday morning (12:30 a.m.) and later that morning when they came to see us, she was telling my Mom when she had to pee!! However, poo was an even bigger issue with this girl. She didn't care about having to clean up the mess.

So, I realize that's SUPER helpful (not) that's what I've got. My son is only 6 months old today - so I don't have to worry about him yet!!

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