Question on Putting 5 Week Old Baby in Room Next to Ours to Sleep

Good advice from Love and Bettina below, the only thing I'm wondering is if it's your baby's noises keeping you awake, will that still happen if you hear her on the monitor? It's worth a try, anyway. I seem to remember keeping my first baby in his room early on, but there is a downside to that -- you can't just reach over and get them from the bassinet, you have to actually get up and walk, which if you're tired can be worse. Try the monitor and see.

Keep an eye on that depression. It could just be exhaustion, but if it continues or gets worse maybe it's time for a visit to the doctor. We're thinking about you.

p.s. - Are you breastfeeding? If not, why not have your husband take him nights for a while. With my third baby I decided from the beginning to do both bottle and breast so my husband could take him during the night from the beginning and let me recover.

Hi H.,
L. your name! There is nothing wrong with putting your new baby in the other room to sleep. As long as you can hear her it's fine. I invested in a video baby monitor so I could check on my daughter without the risk of waking her. I have a handheld one that cost about $170.00 but Target carries one that is bigger for under $100.00. Best investment I made. the down side to moving her into the other room is that you will have to get up and go all the way to the next room for the middle of the night feedings. As far as feeling overwhelmed and depressed, I can related. My daughter is 2 1/2 yrs old and I STILL feel that way sometimes. Don't be afraid to call your doctor about your depression, sometimes you need meds. Don't try to do too much, leave the cooking and cleaning if possible and focus on you and your baby girl. Email me if you need to talk, I'll give you my number.
Sincerely,
L.

You've already received a lot of great advice but I'll just add a few things that helped with our family:

- like one of the previous posters said, putting your baby in the next room has the possible downside of giving you farther to walk for night feedings but the possible advantage of getting your baby accustomed to having her own "space" for sleepytime. Every family chooses what works best for them and for us, we concluded our family would sleep best if our twins sleep in their own room. And when I had to walk down the hall to feed or otherwise attend to them, I'd remember what another twin mom had said - something like she figured she'd rather do the extra walking down the hall when they were newborns than have struggles getting them to sleep in their own room when they were older. (again this is a family's personal choice and is not a criticism of families who feel it's best to co-sleep)

- white noise isn't just a good sleep aid for babies - could help parents too! we had one of those portable HEPA filters running in our room one night and the next morning I realized I slept better than I had in weeks - I think it was that the noise level was just loud enough so that I wouldn't obsess/wake up over any hiccup or cough but not so loud that I wouldn't hear any real crying.

Hi H.,
Yes, it is perfectly ok to put your baby in the room next door. I never had a baby monitor when my kids were that age. My logic was, if the baby is really and truly awake and needs me, she will cry long and loud and I will not have any problem hearing her! Sometimes babies fuss a little while they are still sleeping, and there's no good reason to get up for that. Just let them work it out on their own. My second daughter was so loud when she slept that I put her all the way across the house and could still hear her every snuffle, snort, and sigh.

I had terrible postpartum depression with my first child, to the point that I did not even want to bond with her, and I cried all the time. Please know that you are not alone in this. Your doctor can help you. They make great medications that can help pull you out of this. Your hormones have just been on a roller coaster for 10 months now, and on top of that you are sleep deprived. It's no wonder you are feeling depressed! It is normal, but you don't have to live with it - please ask your doctor for help. As a side note, when I was pregnant with my second child and started spiraling into the "baby blues" again, my doctor put me on medication, and WHAT A DIFFERENCE! I had a happier pregnancy, and I really enjoyed the newborn stage with my second child. I wish I had known to do that with my first. Live and learn!

Good luck to you, and know we are all thinking of you and wishing you well!

Okay, so I love both your names... Love & H.... I wish my name was Grace or Peace or Serenity or something cool like that! :-)

Don't worry about putting her in another room. They don't know the difference really... it's just (as Love said) the inconvenience of having to get up and go to the next room. In fact its better for baby cause she'll get used to being in her own room from the start.

Yes, get a monitor! And remember... relatives (especially Grandma's- if you have a good relationship) are the perfect people to invest in that stuff. Believe me there are more people out there who want to help you than you think, they just don't know how. I'm sure if you told your Mom that you are tired and need to let her sleep in another room but you are worried about hearing her... she'll want to help out. In fact she might make it her personal mission to keep you and baby happy. She is a mother after all. :-)

If you want to send me a personal message and I'll give you my email address if you just want to unload or rant or just simply complain. That's what this network is about! <hugs>

~B

P.S. That goes for any lady who reads this message... I'm very open to keeping in touch outside this website. :-)

H.,
I am also a new mom (3 months, 3 weeks old girl -Emma). My doctor explained to me that the earlier we move Emma into her own room at night, the easier the transition is for her. It was definately more difficult for my husband and I (in the begining)... we were in there so often checking every little noise & watching her breathing when we didn't hear anything. After a little time passed, we became more familiar with her sleeping noises -now she sleeps through the night, in her own room --and we get to sleep too! As far as the depression, I was also overwhelmed for a major part of the first 3 months... but it does get better -especially once you get some much-needed-sleep! Remember, take any help that is offered to you -even if it is someone stopping by to drop off some food. Be sure to keep an eye on that depression, if it doesn't improve you will want to see your doctor about it. Be sure to mention it to your OBGYN at your 6-week appointment, she/he can offer educated advice on what to do to improve your feelings. Best of luck to you... once you get in the swing of things you will realize that you have the best thing in the world -your child!

I made it about 2 nights at home before I had to put my son in another room. He is an incredibly noisy sleeper - he has squeaky breathing when he sleeps. In fact, he's noisy when he's awake too. He is in a bassinet in his own room, and its next to our room. I have the monitor next to me and its set to voice activation, so if he starts to fuss loudly, I'll hear him, but other than that, it blocks out the white noise that we have to get him to sleep initially.

If I don't hear him for a while, I'll turn it to 'normal' on and turn up the volume. 99% of the time, he'll be doing his normal loud breathing. If I don't hear him, I'll go check on him. Never had a problem.

Apparently my mother had the same problem with my older brother - couldn't sleep with him in the room, so I was already alerted that could be an issue.

Not to worry - stick him in his own room and you'll have a better chance of getting quality sleep.

Congrats n your baby!

If your infant is that fussy while you are trying to sleep, how about nursing her for a bit longer? Make sure she has had plenty to eat, burp her well, make sure her diaper isn't wet or full.

I am a big fan of co-sleeping. I had a co-sleeper for my babies when they were tiny, and as they got older, they had their cribs next to my bed with one side removed, so when they wanted to nurse, they could crawl over or I could simply reach for them without getting out of bed.

This saved us a lot of money by not needing those expensive baby monitors, as well as reduces risk for SIDS (you can't hear an infant silently choking through a monitor), and both of my kids slept through the night at about q and 2 months old, even with exclusively breastfeeding!

I would recommend fidning your closest Le Leche League so you can network with other moms, new and experienced alike, to get more input on your questions, as well as advice about what sounds like post partum depression.

Take care and have fun with your new little one.

Hello H.-
Our daughter was in her own crib from the day we took her home, it was what was right for us. I couldn't sleep with her in the room for the same reasons as you. I did get up all the time and feel her to make sure she's still breathing, but you're up every couple hours anyways. I would get a two way monitor if you can. Also, try to nap when she naps so you can get some sleep...lack of sleep makes me depressed, although it could be more then that. Being a new mom is extremely overwhelming. I don’t think there is anything that anyone can say before you have a baby that can prepare you for it. After I had my daughter my friend told me that I'm going to be amazed at how hard it is. She said at 3 months you will look back and be amazed at what you made it through. That was the best thing I was told and she was right.
Also, like the other women said, keep an eye on the depression and remember you have a lot of friends on here! =0)
C.

Your baby will be just fine. We moved our baby out at 3 months old, because she was too loud. I put the baby monitor on my husbands side of the bed, because it didn't bother his sleep as much. I think being overwhelmed and depressed is completely normal. I never went on any medication, but maybe I should have. A lot of moms would talk about how wonderful life was and that they had never been happier, but I didn't feel that way at all. I was tired and wanted a little bit of freedom. When I stopped breastfeeding (4 months) I started feeling so much better. Not sure why- maybe I got my freedom and my body back?? My daughter is 13 months old and a lot of fun now, but definitely more work. I try to get out and do things on my own while my husband watches her and that seems to help. Also, spending time with other moms in similar situations would really help too. Look for a mom's group in your area.

As long as you have a baby monitor (and I think those video ones are a total waste of money, as does my techie husband) putting the baby in the other room should be fine. Just know that it might end up being more difficult for you as you will physically have to wake totally up each time the baby wakes. They DO make noises all night long, and trust me, you'll get used to it. In fact, when my daughter was a newborn I would only wake up if she STOPPED making noise - that signaled something was wrong to my mommy senses.
If you seem to get better sleep after a few nights of the baby being in a seperate room, hurray! But be prepared that it might just be more difficult for you with all the up and down that means.
Things get easier, I PROMISE. In the first few months of a new mothers life, it seems like the work and discomfort and sleeplessness will never end. It gets better - take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are as new to mothering as your child is to the world, you are both learning together right now. This is by far the HARDEST THING YOU WILL EVER DO, so stop and pat yourself on the back once in awhile. This is tough stuff, and you already did all the work of carrying and birthing the baby! You should feel like superwoman here!
So, here are a few ideas to help you and the baby sleep better at night. My number one piece of advice (and this comes from a mother who's child was diagnosed with severe acid reflux at about 6 weeks old, and she NEVER SLEPT): white noise! I ran a small fan in our room as soon as we got the baby home - it drowned out all those baby noises that are driving you crazy but still let me hear her easily if she was awake or starting to fuss. It also allowed the baby to sleep soundly even if things were going on in the room while she slept - in fact, now at 2 yrs, she still sleeps with a fan running in her room. White noise can also be a white noise CD, nature sounds, soft classical music, whatever. Try it, it worked for us.
Good luck, and keep your hopes up. Its all uphill from here!

As long as you can hear you baby with either the use of a monitor or not, I think she will be just fine. My son is 7 months old now and has always been sleeping in his crib. Unfortunately I did check on his quite frequently but I think that is quite normal. Also just so you know, since you're going crazy that you're not getting any sleep, you might not either when she's in another room. It's natural to be concerned and wondering what she is doing in her crib so you may not be able to sleep peacefully with that. But again like I said, she'll be just fine.