Question for Working Moms with Babies

Updated on November 03, 2011
M.P. asks from Asheville, NC
16 answers

Before I leave for the day, I like to wake my 14 mo old up and get kisses and say goodbye. I want to make sure I am the first person she sees in the morning, and the last person she sees when she goes to bed. My husband, on the other hand, thinks I should let her sleep and gives me a hard time about waking her. Just for curiosity's sake- What do you other working moms do?

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So What Happened?

Yeah, you all are probably right. My MIL watches her at our house, though, and she said that she looks for me everywhere when she wakes up and I have left already. And she usually wakes up about 15 minutes after I walk out the door (otherwise I wouldn't bother waking her). I figure at least if she sees me leave, she knows I am leaving and doesn't wonder what happened to me! :(

Featured Answers

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I let my kids sleep. I'll peek in on them and if they are sound asleep I'll give them a kiss. Otherwise I blow kisses and tell them I love them, and 9 times out of 10 they squirm around a little bit, so I know they know I'm there :).

1 mom found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

When I had to leave for work at 5am, I wouldn't wake the kids, but I'd poke my head in their bedroom and say 'I love you'... then call from work when I knew they'd be up.

1 mom found this helpful

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Honey, you probably don't want to hear this, but you're putting your needs before your child's needs. It's a nice concept that you be the first person your daughter sees in the morning - but if that matters so much to you, please adjust your work schedule so you can be home when she wakes up.

And to answer your question, I let my kids sleep. I've been back to work full time since they were 10 months old and almost never see them in the mornings. They still love me tons.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

put the child first....let her sleep!

3 moms found this helpful

A.R.

answers from Houston on

I let my little one sleep. He sees Dad first thing in the morning and Mom last thing at night. It gives our family balance since we both love our son. Besides there is no way would I wake up our sleeping monster and then leave my poor husband to suffer the aftermath.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Since I have to be to work by 7 a.m. I don't wake them unless they have to. I do check on them and give light kisses as to not wake them. Yes I feel guilty that they don't see me before I leave for work...Nothing is better than seeing those happy lovable faces....Now on the weekend...I make sure they see me first :)

2 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Detroit on

I let both kids sleep! If she is sleeping she obviously needs her sleep.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

my husband goes in and gives her a kiss every morning but does not wake her up, because he knows there would be hell to pay if I had to deal with her being up an hour before I had to get up for work. It's not fair on your husband if you're waking her up unless she immediately goes back to sleep every day.

2 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I let them sleep. The Peekabo Principle tells baby we go away but we always come back.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.C.

answers from Boston on

I think it depends on what time you are leaving if its before 8am I probably wouldnt wake but 8 or after I probably would.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Naples on

If she wakes up 15 minutes later I don't see the big problem with waking her up. And it sounds like your MIL is already there to take care of her so it's not like you're leaving your husband to deal with the baby and get ready for work himself at the same time. Since it means so much to you I think you should do it. Moms have needs too. It is so hard being a working mom. You have an emotional need to connect to your daughter and that's important. Don't let people make you feel that you're being horribly selfish, for having a little bit of a "mom ego."
As for your husband, it's fine for him to bring up his concern once or twice but if he's hounding you about it or continuing to bring it up after you've told him how important it is to you, tell him to butt out. He needs to be more understanding of your needs as a mom who is balancing mothering and work. Period.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think waking a sleeping baby to feed your own ego is wrong on so many levels.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I've had the same issue. It can make for stressful mornings bc I wait and wait for my kids to wake up and leave at the last possible moment if they sleep late. But I've always let them sleep. If your husband doesn't mind, put her to bed earlier! I would have done that more often but my husband makes it difficult as he's a late person so gets up later, gets home from work later, never has it on his mind to get the kids to bed earlier etc. But one of the reasons we've had a nanny vs daycare is to be able to let the kids sleep until they wake up naturally. That's one of the best parts about being a kid! I always told them that if I have to leave before they wake up, I'll have given them a kiss while they were sleeping. It's not perfect though. There were mornings they were upset if I was gone. But I felt a few minutes of them being upset was better than cutting off their sleep. For me, sometimes being woken up right at a certain point seems to mess me up the whole day. I assume it's when I'm in REM vs nonREM sleep. So I didn't want to mess with that. So overall, I'm in the camp of letting her sleep but try to make it easier by putting her to bed earlier and/or delaying your departure for work if you can - I know that's not always possible.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey M. P.
I am with your husband on this one. I would LOVE to let my daughter wake on her own, unfortunately, I have to wake her up so I can get her ready before I get out the door. If it were ideal, I would certianly let her get her sleep. What my husband does is to sneak into her room, give her a kiss and leaves for the day. Maybe you could try that out.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

OOo, I know you want to see her awake before you leave, but.. She needs to be able to sleep until SHE wakes up on her own..

Sorry.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

never wake a sleeping baby.... i think thats rule 101 lol leave her alone she wont be tramatized if she sees dad not you.

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