Question for the Stay at Home Moms...

Updated on October 17, 2007
A.S. asks from Ocklawaha, FL
6 answers

Hello! For all of the stay at home moms out there, I am curious to find out how long you waited until leaving your child with a sitter? I have a 5 month old and I haven't left him with anyone because I haven't been ready to do so. Am I normal? :)LOL!

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J.W.

answers from Sarasota on

Hi A.,
Yes, you are completely normal as this usually happens with many moms, especially first time Moms. I myself have a hard time with nannys/babysitters because I am paranoid about someone kidnapping or abusing my son. I only left my son with my Mom (after 4 months old) and other family after that. Just wait until you feel comfortable and try to ease in with the use of family or trusted friends. But don't wait too long as your son may have a hard time adjusting. Good luck!

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T.K.

answers from Sarasota on

You aren't crazy!! I was (still am) paranoid about someone hurting my baby or abusing them, or even just the child missing me and feeling guilty.

To this day, my boys have only been left with family & at their preschool. I just can't bring myself to trust anyone else.

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K.Y.

answers from Sarasota on

I am a stay at home mom and I have a 1 1/2 year old and a 5 month old. I have been fortunate enough to be able to rely on my mother, who lives nearby, for last minute babysitting needs. However, I think we waited maybe 5 or 6 months before leaving my oldest with a sitter. We are very careful about who we leave with our children, so we have only a select few we call. To deal with the separation anxiety, I asked myself these questions before leaving the kids: Do I know the babysitter well? Has he/she been recommended by someone trustworthy? Am I confident that this person will act in a responsible manner during his/her stay? Am I confident that this person will act appropriately should something go wrong? Use your gut feeling. After I ask myself these questions, I usually feel better and am able to go out for the evening without calling to check up 300 times. After leaving your child with a sitter 2 or 3 times, you will get used to it and not worry so much. And don't worry- YOU ARE NORMAL! We all go through this.

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S.A.

answers from Tallahassee on

Totally normal. I stayed at home the first year with my first child...My daughter started child care at 5 months. It really all depends on if you can afford to stay at home and if you really want to stay at home or go back to work. I definitely miss my little ones while I'm at work, but bills call!

If you need help in finding day care let me know! My daughter is almost 8 months old and she is with a nice young lady at an in-home day care...

By the way, when searching for the right child care, you have every right to question and drill that day care provider with questions from experience to credentials (certifcations in CPR, registry with the health department) You should never feel inferior to a care provider with whom you do not know.

Take your time to get to know the people and the place you will be leaving your child with. visit often, call often and sometimes take him home early. Especially in the beginning, you don't want to leave him there all day. You and your son, both, have to ease into it.

I use to babysit in the evenings. Had this woman not known me and my family then I'm sure she never would have asked for my services. My husband worked with her and suggested we could all get to know one another...It worked out for a while, but she just couldn't afford me!-not that I was expensive! LOL

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K.W.

answers from Panama City on

I maybe went out to dinner when the kids were around 6 months or so with a friend or family. I NEVER left them in daycare until they could talk and tell me something if anything went wrong. After a month on the job I quit and went back to my kids. I did not work again until I started my own business at home when the kids were 7, 3 and 7 months old. I have the best of both worlds.
K.

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T.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yes you are completely normal. I wouldn't even let my daughter go away with my hisband for a few hours til she was 5 monmths old. I think she was 13 months before i left her with a sitter and it was my mother-in-law. But when my second came around i left her at 2 weeks for a few hours to take my older daughter to gymnastics class. But even now i rarely leave them with a sitter. If i could go back i think i would start early leaving them because by the time i was ready to get a siiter they were in full separation anxiety mode. My 17 months old has a fit if i leave the room. So start small, an hour or so or maybe go to dinner with your husband after the baby is asleep so you can stay out a few hours. It is good for them to get used to other people and good for you to have a break. I wish you the best with your bundle of joy. They grow so fast!!

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