Question About Faith? I Don't Know Where to Turn to Anymore?

Updated on August 26, 2010
J.P. asks from Brooklyn, NY
27 answers

I am at a point in my life where I am full of questions and no answers. Everything is just going down for us and yes i know the whole thing of god won't give us more than we can handle. However i feel like i can't handle anymore bad news. Besides the bills, no money, no help, getting turn off notices and our car almost gone. (mechanical problems)someone just screw us over $850 we had for our new car. He sold my husband a car that was not good and basically dissapear(long story there) im basically asking why us? we are good people, don't harm others and try to help as much as possible. i pray i go to church sometime, so why is this happening to us? how can i keep my faith when everything is just going wrong?

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Being a good person, praying and going to church sometimes really has nothing to do with it. You need to put your trust in God. People will always fail you, life will bring you troubles, but if you put your faith/trust in God you will have the peace and strength to get through it. God never fails, He will supply all of your need, He does love you.
We went through a very similar situation last year. People always ask us how we got through it, the simple answer is God. We had NO money, my husband was out of work, our car blew the engine, etc. We kept our faith in God and he brought us through. We are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Put your faith in Him, He is the the ONLY answer.

7 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Well God doesn't give more than we can handle but sometimes we get ourselves in over our heads and He is just who we need to get out:) I am really sorry you are having a hard time, it sounds like things are really tough! The number one thing to do is to give your whole heart to God and then ask Him how to climb out of this hole you find yourself in. Not only can God come in with supernatural grace and power He can also teach us how to handle our finances, relationships, kids, everything! Finding a home church is a great start! Also if you can get your hands on any book written by Joseph Prince or Joyce Meyer read it, you won't be sorry! A couple more resources are Dave Ramsey for financial help and Focus on the Family for marriage and family guidance. You can find them both online with lots of great info and practical help! You aren't alone, God is with you and the Word of God says that no matter what is going down God always have an escape for you! No matter what got you to where you are now, He is the answer and wants to rescue you and help you. Just go to Him and ask and see Him come through in your life. Be honest enough to talk to Him if there are anyways you contributed to the current situation, don't beat yourself up, tell Him you are sorry and move on! Hang in there and don't give up on God because He will never give up on you:)

5 moms found this helpful

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

The answer is simple. You need to 100% give it over to God. You are not the only one in a bad situation...my husband lost his job, the bills were piling in, his previous employer made it impossible for him to collect unemployment, we felt like we had no one to help us out. Do you know what we did? We took a step back from the situation (literally...we went to stay with family for a few days), and realized that stressing about it, worrying about it, and constantly crying about it were not going to get us anywhere. We prayed a lot, we gave control over to God, and you know what? Things began to work out in our favor! Shortly after we gave it all over, my husband got a new job with an opportunity to make more money than he had at his previous job! All of the sudden his unemployment came through (the state realized that his employer was VERY wrong). Our car died as well, but we realized that we could get by with only one car. It means my son and I taking my hubby to work daily, but we do it with a smile on our faces because he has a job!!!

Go talk to your pastor at your church. He/she is not going to be able to fix all of your problems, but you may be able to talk through them more. God has a plan for you and your family, but you need to trust in His plan, and not your own. I hope this helps and good luck!

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B.B.

answers from Portland on

In the Bible, God promises that we will have trouble. But, He also says, "Take heart! I have overcome the world!" When I think of that verse, I remember that there is no problem of mine that is too big for God to take care of. I have learned when my life is falling apart around me to cling to God and He will carry me through.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

Well it's unfortunate but being a follower of Christ does not mean that your life is trouble free. I think that when life gets hard we all want to find some reason for it. And we want to blame ourselves but It's not always us that is the cause for our grief. Faith is trusting in God in good times and bad. It's believing that everything is in God's care and trusting him even when you can not see any light at the end of the tunnel. You are weary in your well doing. You are somehow thinking that you have control of your life by thinking that your behavior will dictate your current life situation. That's not trusting God that's trusting yourself. Does that make sense? I mean if your life is dictated by your behavior then how does God fit into that? Give him everything, trust him with everything, including your doubt in him. He can handle it. That's the great thing about knowing him.
You are letting the worries of this life take more priority than him.
Don't want to come off sounding like I know it all because I sure don't. I only speak from my personal experience. I've had my fair share of unwanted pain and worry as well. We all have or well have pain and grief in our life, the difference is in how we decide to handle it when it comes.
Be encouraged. Think back to a time when you thought you might not come through and remember that you did. It passes, time moves forward and season's change.
Best Regards,
C.

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D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

Oh honey, how frustrating! You are asking the wrong questions. Ask God what it is that God wants you to learn. You are trying to do it all and not letting God do it. We are all going to suffer in life. God's own Son had to suffer before leaving this world. Why would you think you could get buy without some of your own suffering? The good news is that there can be joy in suffering.

When I was pregnant with my fourth child, I all of a sudden felt an urgency to feel her move, so I went to urgent care and found her little heart was silent. Her little 31 week old body was inside me but her soul had left. There was nothing I could do that night. I went home to be with my husband and children. That night I couldn't fathom sleeping so I went and spent time at the church. I sat in the pew in the dark silence and wept. I know "Why" was on my heart, but more importantly I begged him for strength. I had a husband and other children that needed me.

The next day my family came to care for my children and I went into labor to deliver my baby's body. I Labored all through the night and I recall very vividly the night. My husband had fallen asleep on the couch. I took my rosary and I thought of Christ's suffering as I prayed the sorrowful mysteries. I asked him to be with me and I asked him to turn my suffering into something wonderful for all the people I loved. I divided the hours up and wrote down people I would like God to bless through my suffering. Through God all things can be made good. I remember such peace as I have never ever known it. It was great sorrow to know that my child had died, but I felt God with me holding me. I knew that he was helping me and that he desired the most wonderful gifts for me and that I couldn't possibly understand how this was going to work out for the best for me, but I was willing to trust him. Remember how he says we have to be like children to be with Him in heaven? We are His children and he is an all knowing Father. Look at your children, when you first look at that crying baby and they want fed and they are screaming louder and you are trying to get the bottle and they continue to scream because they want it right now. They don't understand that you are trying to help. You are like that infant. God is trying to help. Have faith.

I still don't know why my child passed away. I went on to have another baby and he also died. Bury my little ones was so very hard. I learned to trust though. Several years later God surprised us with one more child. Through the help of several doctors that God blessed us with, this baby lived. I know without a shadow of a doubt that had the other two children survived, we would have never even thought of having another baby and our lives would not be blessed with our little Izzy.

Give all your troubles over to God. Let him take care of you. Get to know him better. There is no way you can say you know him without spending time with him. I will pray for you.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Faith isn't faith if you can't hold onto it when life gets hard. I actually don't believe in the saying "God won't give you more than you can handle". The Bible says that we won't be tempted beyond what we can bear, and I think that's where people get that from. If we could handle everything thrown at us, then we wouldn't need God.

Right now, God has "given" me more than I can handle. Both of my kids were diagnosed with diabetes within a 18 months of each other.....I too, asked God WHY????? Why would you let this happen? Are my prayers worth NOTHING to you? So.....I got my answer. He isn't taking my trouble away.....He is holding me up through it and without him I would have given up a long time ago.

Beth B. has it all right. God doesn't promise us a trouble free life....instead He tells us to expect it. But, you can depend on Him to help you through.....It may not be the way YOU want it to go but we don't know the big picture of why we go through hard times.

Hang in there girl! In the middle of my darkest hour with my kids health, sometimes the only prayer I could get out was from Psalms "Save me, Oh God, for the waters have come up to my neck..." over and over and over.....and God has brought us through. Of course, our kids still have diabetes, but we have seen some HUGE blessings in the middle of our pain.

Sorry this is so long!!! I hope things turn around for you soon! HUGS!!!

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

Faith is not something that is convenient. You don't just have it when things are going well. Your faith will be tested over and over, and it's in those times when things are going bad that you'll need it the most.

In addition to faith you must LOOK for your own solutions. God doesn't tie a ribbon around the solution and hand it to you.

It reminds me of a story I heard at church, and forgive me if I don't get it exactly right.

A man gets on his roof, just as floodwaters are rising in his town. He prays to God to save him. As he's patiently waiting a family in a boat comes by. "Get in! We'll take you to safety!" they say. "No thanks," says the man. "God will save me."

The man continues to pray. Next a guy on a raft floats by. "Get on!" he says. "No thanks," says the man. "God will save me."

The man prays some more. Finally a helicopter comes by. "Grab the rope, we'll fly you away!" the man in the helicopter says. "No thanks," says the man. "God will save me."

The floodwaters rise and rise, and finally the man drowns. He finds himself at the gates of heaven. When he meets his Lord, he falls to his knees and says "God, I prayed and prayed, why didn't you save me?" and the Lord says "I sent you a boat, a raft and a helicopter! Why did you not take them?"

I know that story isn't exactly how I heard it but you get the gist. There will be many solutions out there. You just have to look and take action. Keep your faith. You need it the most now.

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I don't believe that God promises that life will be good, or even great. God promises that you'll die some day and that while you are alive you are offered forgiveness for your sins, guidance for your moral choices, and his everlasting love. Faith doesn't depend on life going well. Life SUCKS for mothers in the third world who watch their children die of diarrhea from lack of clean water. God doesn't hate them, and he isn't betraying them.

God does not make decisions for you, God doesn't guarantee you a job or a house, and no, God does not say that he'll give you only what you can handle. He does promise to walk along side you and strengthen you spiritually as you figure it out. Lots of people die because of unfair circumstances. Lots of people watch their children die of unfair circumstances. God loves them, too. God doesn't promise anything more than love for you as you go through whatever you go through.

Your problem with faith is that you are demanding that God provide you with material comfort in exchange for your belief in Him. It's faith extortion. It's honest and OK to doubt. It is honest and Ok not not believe. God can handle that and you can talk openly to Him about it. I bet he'd find it a relief to have an honest conversation with you about it. It is just not reality to think that God is giving people everything they need. If that were true, there would be no horrible droughts in Africa or flooding in C. America or Blangladesh.

I'm not being judgemental or harsh, just direct. I am very sorry for your hardship and I encourage you to speak with your pastor/ priest/ rabbi/ whatever about social assistance programs at your church or temple or whatever until you can get back on your feet. Look for a second job if that's possible, but know that your answers are to be found on earth and God will love you and give you strength, but he's not going to provide you with a car.

good luck to you.

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Take time out. Sit still alone somewhere. Listen. Look for the signs to guide you. Sometimes we are so overwhelmed we don't see or hear the answer.

You are human. It's okay to have doubt and feel sad, but know that it can improve.

Truly sit still and listen. You don't have to have faith that God will fix it. Have faith that you will find the answer to make it better. Sit down with your husband and work out a plan. Can you take the train? Maybe the answer is no car for awhile? Have faith that you and your husband will get through this.

My best to you J.. Don't be too h*** o* yourself. You are entitled to your frustration.

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

“God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”

I don't know where that saying comes from, but it has helped me to find comfort and peace through a very tough time in my life. It reminds me that each of us has our own troubles to deal with, but if we trust in God, He will guide us through. I don't feel that means the answers to our problems will be handed to us on a platter. We need to open our hearts and our minds to see the solutions around us. We have to put plans into action and embrace opportunities to help ourselves. I'm sorry for what you are going through and hope better days are soon to come.

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

This is the stuff of life the separates people into the can do category and never will category. I do believe that everything good that I do or accomplish or anything good that comes my way comes from the Lord. Even when I am fighting, working, and striving I know that it's God that gives me the strength.

I've gone through the hard times, sleeping in the car, leaving my child with in-laws so that we could strike out with 200 dollars in our pockets and move to a city to get jobs. I've walked 5 miles in high heeled shoes to get my first job in the city and got it in less than 5 minutes because the guy was so impressed with the bloody blisters on my feet. I even managed to change a water pump in our car once because we couldn't afford to pay someone else to do it. But even that was the grace of God because my landlord was working on the roof and describing exactly what to do one step at a time. I'll never know how he could remember what step I was on since I was so slow.

When life all around is just awful, people are stealing from us, and others are discouraging us in a myriad of ways, you need to dig in. Sit down with the Bible and look for the promises. Go to the Library and look for Christian books and biographies about others that have gone through difficult times.

Go to www.modestneeds.com to get help. That organization is all about keeping people from the cycle of poverty and helping people to move forward. It's truly the preverbial hand up and not a hand out.

Did you by chance pay $850 for a used car? If I understand what you are saying, then you need to understand that you get what you pay for. Now instead of being so mad that the car needs fixed, set about finding a way to get it done. Modest needs dot come might be able to help with that.

I noticed that when you wrote the word GOD...you used a small g. There is nothing small about our GOD. I could tell you stories all day long about situations that God has turned around for me. One time I had 1 dollar to my name, bought a scratch off and one 5000 dollars. Another time I borrowed 500 dollars to help a friend that was going through troubles of her own. I thought I'd have to make payments on the money I borrowed. God gave it back in a couple weeks and MORE THAN.

There are life principals in God's word. We need to be doing our part if we are going to reap what we sow and make sure what we sow is good seed.

In the last few years I've been making some serious financial blunders of my own. For instance, when my daycare parents have paid me at odd times, shown up late, passed a bad check, or lost a job, left without notice etc... I've made the mistake of saying I was broke. I believe the words that come out of our mouth are IMPORTANT. I wasn't really broke. I needed to wait to buy groceries or I needed to pay a late fee because I didn't have the money at the right time. But how often I over spent and didn't build up a cushion in my finances because I had been frivolous was my fault and I can find a LOT of things about the words I say and the things I do that I need to change.

How are you getting online? If it's at the library, do their computers have sound? Can you get headphones? Start listening to Joyce Meyer. She'll lift you up in a way that will point you the right way. Also, I love Joel Osteen when you need pointed in the right direction.

God is NOT and old MYTH. HE is real. If you ever want to talk, email me on here any time and we'll exchange email addresses. I've been down 90 miles of muddy road. I understand how you are feeling.

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K.O.

answers from Rochester on

Its called life, and if you need to be in contol of everything good or bad, eventually the out come you realize will be,,, it was never in your control to begin with,, you just control how you react. The rest is up to your higher power GOD. So just hang on tight, live for just today and soon things start to change for the better. and if this advise does not help, remember someone is ALWAYS worse off than you. best of luck. K

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D.D.

answers from New York on

God isn't there to fix your problems. He's there to guide you along on the path of life so you can learn and grow into a better person. With each challenge we face we have the opportunity to come out at the other end a more compassionate and understanding person. God isn't picking on you and your family. You are just faced with a lot of challenging situations right now. Figure out a plan on how to meet your challenges.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with B. B. No where in the bible does it say that God won't give you more than you can handle. You can't handle everything. That's why God is here! "Be still and know that I am God". Life can suck. Life is hard. But God is mighty and He will get you through this. I was praying one night for the will to quit smoking. I had been praying for it for a long time. I felt that night that God told me "I only help those that choose to help themselves." What I took from it is that I had to get myself started and He would then help me when I needed it.
I hope that things will get better for you soon. Try sitting down and really thinking about what needs to happen in your life right now. Write down some goals and plan for how you can achieve them. Then pray for guidance and wisdom. I wish you the best hun!

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S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. My husband and I are also having a tough time. We are both recovering alcoholics and addicts, clean and sober for almost 3 years. We are good people and help others, try to help struggling addicts, work hard, take care of our family, and teach our child right from wrong. We've had money and vehicle problems, dealing with past legal issues from the stupidity of our past, being used and mistreated by friends and co-workers, the recent loss of my job and layoff of his, and having our home and vehicles smashed by a drunk hit and run. We also spent a week without water because of no money. We are also fighting to keep the mother of his daughter from taking her away from us to shack up with her out of state boyfriend. It seems like every other week someone we love is dying too young. It is hard to have faith with all of this going on. It's hard not to think that we deserve better than this or that we are owed a better life. What keeps us going is our commitment and love to each other and our family. Wether there is or isn't a God we continue to do right for the sake of doing right and to set an example for our child. Things could be worse and have been worse. I often feel it is a test for us and it makes our bond even stronger. With all going on we haven't even considered a relapse, and we don't fight with each other at all. You can and will get through this if you keep love in the forefront. If you are like me you know that no matter what life throws at you, you will always have your marriage and family. We lean on each other for support and try to remember that we are so lucky to have each other and don't have to go through it alone. At the end of the day I know I have a warm bed and loving husband to hold onto and a beautiful child that needs me and that is worth everything.

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C.M.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough patch. So many people are struggling these days. Faith is wonderful, but it doesn't pay the bills. I have, however, found that prayer is very helpful and that our angels are here to help us. If you'd like to check out my website, please do. You may find some comfort there. www.moonelightpublishing.blogspot.com
My philosophy is expounded in my books,(I'm an intuitive writer, so I can't take credit) and my prayer book is inspirational (if I do say so myself! ;) If you'd like some personal one-on-one with an anonymous "Grams" who cares, please feel free to write to me. May your gifts and blessings begin to manifest in this time of need.

"Grams"
from the Pocono Mts. of PA

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I feel the same way in my life - so much seems to be going wrong but we must continue to focus on what is going right and we must turn to God for strength, not to fix our problems for us. We must learn how to handle our problems and overcome them b/c "it could always be worse" Pray to God for strength, guidance and comfort and step up and start doing what you need to improve your life. Money is just money...do you have love, family? Theres a lot of evil in this world and it can be overwhelming in our day to day lives. Hang in there. Take a deep breathe and focus. You will overcome!

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S.J.

answers from New York on

God allows situations to come upon us so we can learn that we must trust Him with and in everything. Stand on His promises in the word and exercise your faith no matter what and watch the Lord turn it all around in your favor.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

While I agree with "God gives us no more than we can handle" and gnerally having faith...God also "helps those that help themselves"! (Not saying you don't.) GRAB the bull by the horns...learn Dave Ramsay, get on a budget, live on less than you make and PLAN for unexpected emergencies!

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S.C.

answers from New York on

I've been worried about our financial situation and this past weekend I was reminded of this from Matthew:
"25“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

I know it won't solve your problems, but I hope it helps. Best of luck with everything.

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband and I are going through a terrible time as well. Him being out of work for 4 months is causing havoc on our relationship. I still go to church every Sunday morning. And I'm glad I do. Listenint to the messages have made everything feel like it will fall into place. The big one that has stuck out in my head is "The Battle Belongs to the Lord." Try to find that song and listen to it. God makes us go through times like what you are describing, and similar to what we are going through. There are always hidden blessings in the worst of times. And sometimes having n o money is what makes family grow closer. But God makes these battles for us to go through for whatever reason he has...but they are fixed fights from the get-go. He has a good reason for doing it and in the end, he will make it okay. Even if he tests us more this time than any other time before. Keep your faith :o). It will help you through! Good Luck!

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E.C.

answers from New York on

When life is hard for me, I pray the Our Father - the line 'Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven' reminds me that I need to hold on to the Lord with both hands. In the Psalms it says the Lord 'has you tattooed on the palm of His hands.' You can't be abandoned. I go to church more often. I try to see what I can change in myself, taking one day at a time.

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Not sure if I have an answer, but I do know that of all of the commands (do that, don't do this) that God gives us in the Bible, The majority of the commands are "don't worry, don't burden yourselves...." and other ways to phrase it. You might think "love others" is the most commonly written command, but it's not - it's not to worry.

That's not to say 'don't take action' because you SHOULD, but you should not worry and worry all the time.

And in another sermon, (I hope I can explain it well), a preacher was talking about bumps in life. He compared it basically to a cookie recipe. THe final outcome (the cookie/your life) will taste/be great. But taste the flour by itself. Does that taste good? No. (This is kind of like having no money for your bills right now). Does the baking soda taste good? Nope. (This is kind of like the car issues you're having). But in the end, all of the good things and all of the bad things (in your recipe/in your life) will work out to be wonderful. I liked this analogy because I have had great things happen in my life and horrible things too. But Romans 8:28 says basically "All things work for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." kinda like this recipe/life will turn out good, even if all the ingredients don't taste so good on their own.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear J., Please try to hang on to some faith. God is there carrying you through this. I will pray for you and your family. I too have been through bad times and God was there for me as He will be for you! Grandma Mary

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M.S.

answers from New York on

We prayed for you today. We prayed that God would give you the strength you and your family need at this time. Most people, at some point in life, go through trials, but God does--really does work things out. There is really no solution that anyone can give you except--do not stop praying and lose heart. Faith is a gift from God . . .

1 Peter 5:7
Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.

Psalms 112:6-8
Such a man will not be overthrown by evil circumstances. God's constant care of him will make a deep impression on all who see it. He does not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen. For he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him. That is why he is not afraid, but can calmly face his foes.

I will continue to pray for you . . .

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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

All responses so far are all so well said. Ask some church-going friends who live near you where they go to church and start attending as often as you can. It will help, I promise. When I have down days I think of so many others who have been thru much harder times, like the people of Haiti , my sis and BIL and nephew lost their 1st born, son/only brother, 2 yrs ago at age 20 in the prime of his life quite tragically. When I am down, I think of how they have endured thru such a loss and say a prayer for them. Their faith has never been stronger. It helps ground me. Finding a good church will help you. With Blessings to U and your family

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