Question About 1 Yr. Old Son Crying When He Sees Babysitter...

Updated on July 18, 2009
C.P. asks from Brackenridge, PA
6 answers

Hello Fellow Moms! I have a concern about my 1 yr old, when I drop him off at babysitters. He goes to a woman that I was referred to by my hairdresser. She brings her daughter there and my sister now takes her daughter there as well. She has been watching kids for 20 yrs. My son has been going there for about 3 months now. He's only there 2 days a week and there are usually 5-6 kids there ranging from 10 mo. to 5 yrs. Every time I pull up her driveway he will start crying. He has done it every single time. When I pick him up, he seems to be just fine, always a smile on his face when he sees me. She says that he calms down shortly after I drop him off. The other 3 days a week, he is with my mother-n-law or sister-n-law. He never cries when I drop him off there. He actually is beaming when he sees them. So, what gives? I would think by now he would be used to the babysitter and not cry every time. Should I be concerned? I trust this woman and she has always been very pleasant and professional.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

C., I am going to be the one that disagrees with everyone. He is crying for a reason and I am not saying that he does not have anxiety and he does not miss you, but when I read your message, I immediately thought, maybe something is not right, maybe she yells, or maybe she is harsh or maybe she said something that put him in fear. It is so hard leaving your kids places and I am not trying to scrare you, but I always look at my kids reactions to things and over the years, we tried a new babystitter that someone new and said was great, but something was really wrong and I did not want to see it. Well it turned out that my child was crying a lot and the babystitter sat him in a time out corner for a very long time daily and my child was traumatized from this. I may sound crazy, but I take nothing for granted and to be one years old, at that age a child feels whether they want to be around someone or not. I am sure others will disagree, but that is how I feel.

1 mom found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi C.,

One simple answer: He misses you.

When he sees the babysitter he knows that you are leaving him. Whe you drop him off at the MIL, he it with family.

There is a difference in a feeling when you are with family
vs with other people.

Is there some reason that you are working this hard?

The baby is young. Just wanted to know. D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

C., I think it could be as simple as Separation Anxiety. He probably knows that when you go take him there you are leaving. My son started feeling Separation Anxiety around that age. That might be all it is.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hey C., I just want to give you my opinion as I have a home daycare, so I will try not to be biased! As many other moms stated, it is likely separation anxiety, many babies wil go through this somewhere between 9 and 12 months, and can take a few months to get over. Given the fact that he is only there 2 days a week is tough for him as well. With the other kids at the sitter, they are used to the routine and your son has to adjust to a different place every day or so a week. Look around the environment when you drop off and pick up, do the other kids seem happy? Do they interact well together? Can you ask the other kids if they had fun today or what was their favorite part of the day? Is it possible to have your son go the sitters 3 days a week, perhaps he would adjust better? Can you drop in sometime during the day to see what goes on or at least phone her and listen to the background noise? Most importantly, TALK with your sitter, let her know you are concerned and see if she has any suggestions. Most home daycare providers love their job and want to have happy, healthy children coming on a regular basis.I have found that when kids come only 2-3 times a week , they will often cry when being dropped off, but are usually fine in less than 5 minutes and have a great day.In fact, I have 2 boys, both about 14 months old, come 2-3 days a week, have been coming for almost 3 months now, and always cry when being dropped off but are fine within 3-5 minutes.I hope this makes you feel better.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

When he is with his Grandmom or aunt, are there none or less kids other than him there? Maybe that's why too. As long as he is happy when you pick him up, maybe it's just because he doesn't get the one on one attention he gets with Gram or Aunt? I agree with pp about separation anxiety, it's probably just less when he goes with family. Go with your gut though, if you have any doubt at all take him out. There are older kids there, so maybe ask them some questions when you are there as well, simple things like whether they have fun there and what they do during the day.
Good luck and definitely keep your eyes open! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Allentown on

C.,
ask your 1 yr old son about ' sitter'
babies CAN LET YOU KNOW IF DANGER IS AROUND THEM .
MAKE IT SIMPLE.
ASK SLOWLY ABOUT EACH CHILD ...WAIT FOR ANSWER...WAIT AN HOUR; ASK ABOUT NEXT CHILD AT THE SITTERS ... AND SO ON ..
MAYBE 1 OF THE CHILDREN PUSHED HIM , TOOK A TOY, UPSET HIM ....OR MAYBE THE SITTER SCARES HIM .....LET HIM HAVE A VOICE, A REACTION , OR PERHAPS HE JUST WANTS TO STAY W/MOMMA ....????????? YOUR son has the answer.
HOWEVER; i would take the time to ask a 1 yr old .
grammy

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions